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Creative Production => Critics' Lounge => Topic started by: Kini on Sun 18/06/2017 12:16:47

Title: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Kini on Sun 18/06/2017 12:16:47
Hi all,

This is my first attempt at the player character for my game. Before I develop her any further, I'd really like your opinions. Any critique is welcome, but I'd be particularly interested to know how she 'reads' to others. What do you infer about her just by the way she looks? Also, is she likeable, aesthetically pleasing, etc.?

Thanks in advance!

[imgzoom]http://i68.tinypic.com/hx7ts6.jpg[/imgzoom]

[EDIT] Here's a slightly updated version, with the arms and hands made bigger, the eyes made smaller, and a couple of other tiny changes.

[imgzoom]http://i68.tinypic.com/2z7gcgn.png[/imgzoom]




Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Cassiebsg on Sun 18/06/2017 12:27:13
I'm not sure if you going for a normal human or some other kind of character, but at first glance her eyes are too big and arms+hands are too short/small, then hand should be around half the upper leg, not stop at the waist.

Then there are some white stray pixels on her face, that I'm not sure what you meant with them. Highlight?

Last but not least, if you can't remove the background color, then use a light color to contrast the character, like a light grey or something like that. Adn you can provide a zoom in your picture by using imgzoom instead of img tag.

As like this:

[imgzoom]http://i68.tinypic.com/hx7ts6.jpg[/imgzoom]

Will result in this:
[imgzoom]http://i68.tinypic.com/hx7ts6.jpg[/imgzoom]

Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Kini on Sun 18/06/2017 13:22:06
Thanks for the feedback, Cassiebsg. Much appreciated :)

She is meant to be a normal human, but stylised. That said, I think I will at least lengthen the arms.

The stray white pixels on her face are supposed to be piercings, so it's useful to know that it didn't read that way.

The reason I used that background colour is that the game takes place at night, so much of it will be against a dark sky.

Lastly, thanks for the info regarding zoom. 
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Mandle on Sun 18/06/2017 15:04:03
Quote from: esufmp on Sun 18/06/2017 13:22:06
The stray white pixels on her face are supposed to be piercings, so it's useful to know that it didn't read that way.

I looked at x2 zoom and thought straight away that the white pixels were piercings, so it read right for me.
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Click'd on Sun 18/06/2017 15:27:40
Might be personal preference but I think red and purple don't go well together.
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Cassiebsg on Sun 18/06/2017 15:38:33
After I zoomed I guessed also for piercing... but confused me without the zoom, as I first thought if it was some stray highlight from a light source... but then you have no shadows.

Also, the suggestion of giving it another background for contrast was purely to help us read the character better.

EDIT: Ah, a new version. (nod)
If there are replies, feel free to make a new post with the update.

The arms still fell too short.
You might want to define her waist a bit more. As right now it's a straight line from her breasts to her legs. And my eye, says that her shirt is just ending at the waist.
Once you know were the waist is, then you can place the hands in the right place (if her pants had front pockets where would they be? She should be able to put her hands inside the pockets.) If in doubt, stand up, drop your arms and hands and look down at them, that usually helps me at least. ;)
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Kini on Sun 18/06/2017 20:20:02
Thanks for all the feedback so far, everyone. Much appreciated! :)

Here's an updated version, along with some first draft side views.

[imgzoom]http://i68.tinypic.com/344ec1u.png[/imgzoom]
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Danvzare on Mon 19/06/2017 10:29:35
The shoulders are a bit broad. It makes her look a bit like a man.
Also, thr front view of her face looks a bit like a skull... or an alien. (The side view is perfect though.)

Lastly, if you want to make the piercings a bit more readable, you could try adding a grey pixel next to each right pixel and see if that works. But I don't think it's nessersary since I read them as piercings straight away.
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Kini on Mon 19/06/2017 20:36:23
Thanks, Danzvare. You're right. Here's an amended version. I think it's getting there. Nearly ready for shading and animation.

[IMGzoom]http://i64.tinypic.com/34evmt4.png[/IMGzoom]
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: cat on Tue 20/06/2017 09:20:49
In the latest version, it looks like she has tears in her eyes (when I don't zoom in - when I look at it at 4x, it seems alright). Is the dark border around her eyes supposed to be makeup? You could consider making the lower eyeliner only one pixel wide. People usually wear less makeup on the lower eyelid.
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Mandle on Tue 20/06/2017 12:23:37
A minor point, but I feel the back view looks a bit like she is wearing a big purple Magneto helmet.

Maybe put a strategic "^" shaped indent somewhere at the bottom of her hairline, like on the right side between her neck and the edge of the hair, and replicate this in the other view?

Not a biggie, but details can really sell a character...
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: [delete} on Tue 20/06/2017 23:53:33
As ClickClickClick said, maybe the red of her shirt is a bit too bright and saturated. And in side view, you could experiment with adding a pixel more length to her shoes. Same for her her throat in front view.

Else your sprite looks fine, I like it!  :smiley:
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: NickyNyce on Wed 21/06/2017 01:19:10
The feet facing in totally opposite directions on the up and down view appears painful. I think she would a look a bit better with her feet facing a bit downwards/upwards. Especially if you're going to make a walkcycle.

Also.. I think you should give her a crotch in the down view instead of having the line go all the way up under her shirt. Similar to the up view.
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Scavenger on Wed 21/06/2017 06:29:23
The feet don't bother me much, more than the pose of the body itself:

[imgzoom]https://dl.dropbox.com/s/lfugkjoffjllqdy/girl_edit.PNG?dl=0[/imgzoom]

It needs longer, more relaxed arms and shoulders, and a shorter torso compared to the legs. This'll make animating her easier. I also smoothed out her chest a bit because, I've never heard of a polo shirt being skin tight. x3

Seconding the desaturated colours, looking at fully saturated red all through a game would kill a player's eyes.
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Khris on Wed 21/06/2017 10:10:56
My take:

[imgzoom]http://i.imgur.com/ic0SU2G.png[/imgzoom]

Just my edit:
Spoiler
[imgzoom]http://i.imgur.com/bFbeEU5.png[/imgzoom]
[close]
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Mandle on Wed 21/06/2017 13:23:00
That last edit by Khris is a very charming character indeed!

I vote that one, and maybe produce the other views based on that.
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: NickyNyce on Wed 21/06/2017 21:00:46
Quote from: Mandle on Wed 21/06/2017 13:23:00
That last edit by Khris is a very charming character indeed!

I vote that one, and maybe produce the other views based on that.

+1
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Kini on Thu 22/06/2017 13:32:11
Thanks so much everyone! This is all really useful to me, not only for the design of this player character, but also for knowing what to consider when drawing characters generally (this is all new to me, and I find art by far the most difficult and time-consuming part of this whole game-making process).

Khris, your version looks great! Do you mind if I use it, perhaps with some minor tweaks of my own?

Scavenger, I totally agree with you about the skin-tight top. So far, every time I've tried to draw clothing folds they've looked ridiculous, but I like what you've done with them. Thanks  :)

Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Danvzare on Thu 22/06/2017 14:20:50
Quote from: NickyNyce on Wed 21/06/2017 21:00:46
Quote from: Mandle on Wed 21/06/2017 13:23:00
That last edit by Khris is a very charming character indeed!

I vote that one, and maybe produce the other views based on that.

+1

+2

Quote from: esufmp on Thu 22/06/2017 13:32:11
(this is all new to me, and I find art by far the most difficult and time-consuming part of this whole game-making process).
Heh, just you wait until you start doing the music. (laugh)
Title: Re: How does my player character read to you?
Post by: Khris on Thu 22/06/2017 17:17:39
Quote from: esufmp on Thu 22/06/2017 13:32:11Khris, your version looks great! Do you mind if I use it, perhaps with some minor tweaks of my own?
Thanks, go ahead!
I'm not happy with the hair or the nose anyway, or the shoes, but I wanted to mostly give some pointers, not provide a final sprite, so there's definitely lots of room for tweaks :)