Adventure Game Studio

Time's up for this round, use the poll to help decide a winner!



Haunts
The tombs of the old royal necropolis are connected by the ghost roads, so that the spirits who knew each other in life can visit each other. They are not for mortal feet; only the dead travel them. And now you: Hunted. Hungry. Half-mad.

Make your way from tomb to tomb, getting the ghosts to lead you ever further by offerings, threats and trickery. Gradually piece together a history of blood and betrayal, generation by generation, to find a path through the crumbling network of ghost roads, face the Forefather, and ask him your question.

During the Reconquista, Ponce de Leon attacked a farm manor.
His home burnt, parents and siblings slaughtered, only Benilyas and the old maidservant Alda escape. Puzzling their way to the coast, they join with Ottoman pirates. Looting cities and helping other refugees, they learn de Leon travelled to the Americas, and follow his path.
Moors...Pirates...Conquistadors! Young spoiled Benilyas and vengeful old Alda's epic adventuring, cultural mashings, team puzzles, naval combat, exploring the New World, and collaborating with local tribes to kill de Leon.

Two lovebirds at the turn of the 20th century. He, an engineer, has been away on business for months. She, carrying their child, writes him every day. One day, he invites her to come in West Virginia. She packs her case and takes the first train.
On her arrival, she learns his death in the collapse of a mine. Showing up in the middle of his funeral, the poor woman  discovers his family and receives mixed welcome.
No one's heard of her. More worrisome, her  lover's been dead for two weeks despite the recent unearthing of his body. Who was she writing to lately?

Your long lost twin sister knocks on the door after 35 years. A joyous reunion. Until she takes over your life, your job, your husband, and accuses you of being the imposter.

The burden of proof falls to you as you embark on a quest that takes you right back to your place of birth. Discover the truth about the sister you never had in this twisted adventure that examines the loose threads binding love, family and our own sanity.

Taking influence from cheesy young adult novels, create an RPG adventure centered around teenagers living in the suburbs, but not all is as it seems.

Supernatural entities are creeping into the world, but only our protagonists can see them.

Gameplay would focus around going to class to gain skills, making friends to join your party, and hunting monsters at night in the streets of your sleepy home town.

Can our heroes save the world in time for third period?

Imagine Maniac Mansion, but with a randomly generated mansion. The layout and the rooms would all be randomized, making some puzzles impossible and others possible. You could play the game twice, and not have any of the same puzzles.
In one playthrough, the kitchen won't have a microwave, in another the kitchen has a microwave, but it's broken. What objects, items, and rooms are available will be different each time. Thus giving you an adventure game with unlimited replay value.

Eupolemo the Metaphysic is on top the Tower of Babel when Jehovah is going to destroy it! He must escape, but God confused all tongues, now the guards and doormans speak unknown foreign languages and don't understand him! He can only count on his Easy-Speak-For-Dummies© book to learn pippian cockney, hurrurian gesturing, q'quintsian phrases and more to reach the ground floor and go out! But he must learn fast… before the wrath of Jehovah drops upon his head!

The case of the hidden letters (a Christmas story)

Christmas is around the corner. Santa tells Pefty to go to Praiser Town and find the hidden residents letters to him. Praiser Town's residents are set to disprove Santa's existence and his "knows all", so every year they hide their letters instead of sending mailing them. It's up to Pefty through highly detective skills of investigation and interrogation to locate the hidden letters! And in all secrecy, because the residents must not know what Pefty is up to or doom the world!

Death Show

Two death-row criminals go on a virtual-reality game show in which they must overcome obstacles and solve puzzles to find the exit. The winner will gain his or her freedom. The game show's theme this particular week is fantasy land.

The player will be able to switch between controlling the two criminals. One is a woman, a wrongly convicted English teacher. The other is a man, a hardened gangster. Will the two despise each other at first? Yep. Will respect and sexual tension gradually increase between them? Uh-huh. Will they eventually join together to break out of the game entirely? Maybe.

The game will feature three possible endings: the woman betrays the man and escapes on her own, leaving the man to certain death; the man betrays the woman and escapes on his own, leaving the woman to certain death; both escape together and “ride off into the sunset”.


A first person horror game taking place in broad daylight. The player finds themselves locked in a garden surrounded by an unclimbable fence, and the only way out is to explore the garden further.
It's a beautiful summer garden filled with walls of blooming bushes and green trees casting deep shadows in the strong sunlight, but the player is not alone. There is an unseen horror stalking the player, it's presence known only by the rattling of leaves it makes when it moves through the bushes, and the player has to keep their distance or be instantly killed while collecting items and solving puzzles in order to get the key to open the garden gate. The entire premise is built around the contrast between the beautiful, serene environment and the paranoia and horror of being hunted by an unknown monster.

Aw well... Isn't it better to write which would this is, or at least the duration of the activity, in the topic? Telling threads with identical topics apart is just hard. :tongue:

Fixed!

Could you use one of the other game pitches I sent you?
I didn't save them elsewhere. :-[

If not, I'll just think of something new. :-D

You don't save a copy of your messages in "sent messages"? 8-0

You should check that checkbox!

Quote from: Danvzare on Tue 29/05/2018 12:10:15
Could you use one of the other game pitches I sent you?
I didn't save them elsewhere. :-[

If not, I'll just think of something new. :-D

I sure can, but as Snarky said, you should find your message in your "sent messages" box :)

Quote from: Snarky on Tue 29/05/2018 14:30:02
You don't save a copy of your messages in "sent messages"? 8-0

You should check that checkbox!

Quote from: Andail on Tue 29/05/2018 15:46:59
I sure can, but as Snarky said, you should find your message in your "sent messages" box :)

Ok, now I feel like a real idiot. I've just found it. :-[
Can you believe I never knew that tab existed, despite having looked for something like it several times.
Thank you two for telling me. :-D

Don't feel bad; it's not exactly obvious. (If anyone else is wondering: go into Messages/Read Messages, hover over the "Messages" tab in the new menu line â€" the one next to "Actions" and "Preferences", not the one in the standard main menu â€" and there should be a dropdown menu, select "Sent Items".)

One difficulty with this contest is that there's not really anything to post about while it's ongoing. But to everyone who said they'd enter this round, now is the time!

Oh, right. Thanks for the heads up... I have it written on my phone, but was about to forget to send it as PM... (roll)

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 02/06/2018 13:05:22
One difficulty with this contest is that there's not really anything to post about while it's ongoing. But to everyone who said they'd enter this round, now is the time!

True! But if last round is anything to go by, there'll be more posting afterwards instead:)

I'll close this by midnight, so there's still time to join this extremely exciting competition!

Alright, the poll is up so start voting!

We ended up with 10 submissions this round as well - not saying if it's the same people participating because that's part of the follow-up activity: Guess who wrote which entry!

Read! Vote! Guess!

Voted. :-D
Also it was a tough choice. I easily managed to narrow it down to two, but it felt impossible to choose between those two.
Some really good pitches. :-D

Some really interesting ideas.  I've voted for #3 as that felt like the most fascinating story to me.

It should be mentioned that the rules stated "roughly 80 words". While it hasn't been enforced very strictly, please do award mental bonus points to entries that abide by that rule.

Lots of interesting entries but my vote went to number 9 (even though it was very liberal with the word limit). Very Black-Mirroresque.

Number two ("Conquistadors!") got my vote. It sounds like one hell of an adventure!

Quote from: Durq on Tue 05/06/2018 22:37:58
Number two ("Conquistadors!") got my vote. It sounds like one hell of an adventure!

Same here, though it was a close call between that and number 3, and I liked number 1 as well.

Number 3 had a very intriguing mystery, but the pitch said little on how the tone or gameplay would be.

Most of the others felt like they borrowed too much from already existing stories, or in the case of number 6,
it sounds fun in theory but in practice I could see the random puzzle generating resulting in accidentally getting the player trapped in a dead end,
plus puzzles depending on logic are much harder to randomize than say, Tetris or Bejeweled-style puzzles.

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 02/06/2018 13:05:22
But to everyone who said they'd enter this round, now is the time!

I wish I had had the time.  This came and went very quickly.  Lots of awesome ideas in here, though!  Great pitches, everyone!

There are some really great ideas, here! A lot of them have potential, but one in particular caught my eye and kept drawing me back, so that's the one I voted for. :)

All these pitches could make enjoyable games. Some require more imagination than others.

I had a good laugh imagining the outcome of #7 so I went with this one.

I was really tossing a coin between #1 and #3 until I read #9 and voted for that.

I voted for 2, probably "Ponce de Leon" got my attention. (laugh)

Can't wait for next round... I got a killer pitch I think!

I voted for 9, it reminds me of The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Quoteit reminds me of The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In my book, it's not a very compelling reason.

I voted for #8, as I imagined interesting how the protagonist will unveil gradually the conspiracy of Praiser Town... If I had another another vote, I will go for #1. Because it suits well in the form of a game, rather than a book or movie.

Rather than reveal my vote, I thought it might be nice to offer a bit of feedback on each pitch. I agree with others that these were stronger overall than the last round, with lots of entries that could make games I'd like to play.

Obviously this is just one random person's opinion, and from the votes and posts in the thread it's clear that others respond differently, so don't take the criticism too hard. Also, one of the entries is mine, but I've disguised that by offering feedback on it anyway:

#1:
The premise seems to me like a really strong setup for puzzles. Also, I love the notion of "ghost roads" that are built for ghosts to travel rather than people.

On the negative side, a game where you're just dealing with ghosts one tomb at a time sounds like it could get a bit monotonous and mechanical unless it's a really short game. (Not to mention a little played out, with dozens if not hundreds of haunted house-themed adventure games.) There should be some element that breaks up the structure and lets it "come alive", so to speak.

#2:
This pitch does sound like an epic quest, and the specificity of the historical setting is appealing.

At the same time… ¡Jesús Cristo! That's dark! Starting with the slaughter of the main character's family and then moving on to the European invasion of the Americas, when the vast majority of the native population was wiped out, enslaved or subjected to gruesome atrocities... The upbeat tone of the write-up seems like a really strange fit for the story.

#3
Man, this is an excellent mystery/thriller setup. It could be a Hitchcock movie or an episode of Suspense. The detail of the letters being from after he died is a cool hook.

On the other hand, the pitch gives very little idea of what the game consists of. The write-up is over-long, but still confusing on some points (are they married or not? if he's "away on business", why is his family around?). On the third hand, perhaps making some points in the pitch deliberately confusing works as a way to get people engaged with the story?

#4
Like #3, this is another classic thriller premise. And unlike #3, there's at least some indication of what the gameplay revolves around.

Here's the thing I can't get past, though: Wouldn't it be, like, really, really easy to prove you are the real you and your evil twin the impostor? The predicament sounds more silly than sinister.

#5
This sounds like something that could be a really good game. However, it's a little vague at this point. It could be Buffy, it could be Stranger Things or IT, it could be The Faculty, it could be Goosebumps or AYAOTD or Eerie, Indiana. Or it could be a fairly generic RPG superficially dressed up in a high school skin.

I guess what would really sell me is a clearer sense of how the elements are tied together. Who are these kids when they're not hunting monsters? How do their school lives matter beyond just leveling up and recruiting team members?

#6
The notion of an infinitely replayable adventure is intriguing. However, does it work as a fun game in practice? Dead ends and red herrings, random solutions and puzzles that are just roadblocks and don't in themselves advance the story; these a common criticisms of bad adventure game design, but seem almost inevitable for this concept. I am skeptical…

#7
Fun! Biblical stories seem like they make a great basis for adventure games, and I wonder why there haven't been more of them. Getting down the tower is also a really nice, self-contained adventure game goal. The tone of the pitch suggests a sense of humor I would enjoy.

A couple of nitpicks: I think I would have preferred if the languages were actually real ones. Also, I have to question where the phrase book came from in the first place. (My suggestion: it was dropped by an angel, annoyed at having to deal with all the hassle of now having to bring messages in all kinds of languages.)

#8
I'm a sucker for Christmas stories, so you had my attention right off the bat. The premise is fun and feels season-appropriate in that it sets up some silly, all-in-good-fun antagonism, and offers a solid game structure. The one thing I don't like is the "or doom the world!" bit, which seems entirely extraneous and illogical given what you've described.

#9
Isn't this pretty much a game already? (Apparently the one I'm thinking of is called A Way Out.) Escaping from prison definitely offers a lot of scope for interesting puzzles, and the virtual reality component adds a potentially interesting dimension to that. On the other hand, I guess it's a trope for a reason, but the romantic tension sounds both half-heartedly generic and a bit skeevy to me.

#10
Great description of an interesting mechanic. Is it an adventure game, though? (Andail has edited out the rules for this round from the first post â€" why, Andail?! â€" but in the last round it said 'the pitch should fit a very loose description of "adventure game" (this genre is rather broad these days)' and I don't think this falls under even a loose definition.

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 09/06/2018 10:32:30
Rather than reveal my vote, I thought it might be nice to offer a bit of feedback on each pitch.

I think that was a great idea, and I loved reading the feedback on my pitch.
I'll probably do the same in the next contest.

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 09/06/2018 10:32:30

#8
I'm a sucker for Christmas stories, so you had my attention right off the bat. The premise is fun and feels season-appropriate in that it sets up some silly, all-in-good-fun antagonism, and offers a solid game structure. The one thing I don't like is the "or doom the world!" bit, which seems entirely extraneous and illogical given what you've described.

Snarky, I enjoyed reading your entire post. I also liked number 8 and almost voted for it. And I agree that the "doom the world" part was off-putting.

It's fun trying to guess which one of Snarky's feedbacks is for his own pitch. I'm thinking number 7.

Quote from: Stupot on Sun 10/06/2018 10:32:24
It's fun trying to guess which one of Snarky's feedbacks is for his own pitch. I'm thinking number 7.

Now that the poll has closed: (wrong)

Congrats to #7 and #3! I voted for 7 and 3 was my runner-up, so I can't complain about the results on that score...

I'm gonna guess #7 is Blondbraid (or maybe Mouth for War), #2 is Jojo, #4 is Danvzare, and #9 Gurok. But that's based purely on degree of similarity to last round's pitch, which might not be a good guidance.

#1 has Mandle written all over it.  Or possibly ManicMatt.

So I await with interest to see who proves me wrong. :-D

Let's play graphologist:

#1 Mandle
#2 Blondbraid
#3 Gurok
#4 Stupot
#5 Tgames
#6 CaptainD
#7 Baron
#8 Cassiebsg
#9 The Frighther
#10 Danvzare

Yikes, Creamy. Mine was indeed number 4.

Was that a wild stab in the dark? If not I'd be interested to know what the clues were? It's not that I tried to disguise my writing style but more that I wasn't even aware that I had one.

Quote from: Creamy on Mon 11/06/2018 17:03:02

#9 The Frighther

I never realized my writing sounds like someone who speaks English as a second language.

My pitch was Number...

Edit by Andail: Actually, let the guessing game continue a bit longer :)

No one seems to have guessed my pitch yet. Here's a hint, it got less than two votes. :~(

Then I think yours is the high school monster hunter one.

QuoteWas that a wild stab in the dark? If not I'd be interested to know what the clues were? It's not that I tried to disguise my writing style but more that I wasn't even aware that I had one.

Just a bit of luck. My other guesses don't seem to fare so well.

QuoteI never realized my writing sounds like someone who speaks English as a second language.

I see your point on closer inspection (laugh)
Don't pay too much attention - I'm not familiar with you two and English is not my first language either.
His last entry and your pitch just happen to make extensive use of question marks.

QuoteMy pitch was Number...

I assigned you #2 because it shares some similarities with Sniper and spotter and your pitch about the Scythian warrior and the exiled Greek scholar - an historical setting, an unlikely duo on an initiatory journey.
Perhaps too obvious.

Quote from: Creamy on Tue 12/06/2018 22:03:26
My other guesses don't seem to fare so well.

I wouldn't say that. ;)

Quote from: Snarky on Tue 12/06/2018 15:51:04
Then I think yours is the high school monster hunter one.

Nope. (wrong)

Also, thanks for the detailed comment Snarky. (nod) I was starting to think it was just such a crappy idea. (roll) Maybe it'll see the light of day eventually, though I'll need to adjust my graphics to fit, as I see that to be more cartoonish than what I normally do.
Also, "the doom the world" is/was intended to be from Santa's side putting a bit of pressure into Pefty (as failure is not an option!). They'll be "doomed" to unemployment if he fails the mission... and the world to be "Santa free". ;) But I also kind of run out of the 80 words and didn't want to expand on it.

Quote from: Cassiebsg on Wed 13/06/2018 18:24:48
Also, thanks for the detailed comment Snarky. (nod) I was starting to think it was just such a crappy idea.

Hey, you got two votes, which is better than I did!

And on that note:

Quote from: Danvzare on Wed 13/06/2018 12:33:23

Quote from: Snarky on Tue 12/06/2018 15:51:04
Then I think yours is the high school monster hunter one.

Nope. (wrong)

Then yours must be the Maniac Mansion randomly generated one. I'm glad you didn't mind the feedback, as I was quite critical of that one! (And mine, by process of exclusion, was #1: Haunts.)

Man, getting 0 votes sucks. It's one thing for something like a Background Blitz where you can always see flaws and areas to improve your technique, but a pitch is an idea almost in its purest form, before you've had a chance to screw it up in practice. I feel a bit like Mitch Hedberg when one of his jokes bombed: "I hate it when a joke doesn't kill, you know? I thought it would get big laughs. All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me!"

Unlike in the last round, where the concept was plainly too ambitious to be a realistic project, my entry this round is an idea I might actually attempt. It's been pre-approved as awesome by me!

Well, getting zero doesn't mean nothing much really, just that others thought some other pitch better.
For me the "Make your way from tomb to tomb" made me think of a very linear game play, and not an open world kind of thing, where you can explore and solve puzzles at your own will. For me that little sentence was what put me off. But maybe you didn't meant it in a linear meaning? (roll)

No, I didn't mean it would be an entirely linear "one tomb at a time" experience, although you would gradually work your way deeper into the necropolis (and further back in time), generally speaking.

In my mind, the whole point of the ghost roads (which are a real thing (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirit_way): I was inspired by the Seonjeongneung tombs in Seoul, where a "spirit path" connects the king's tomb to his wife's, and a sign warns tourists "This is a sacred path. Keep off the royal tomb's spirit walkway.") is that they allow the ghosts to move around and interact with each other; and this would be an element of the gameplay. Andail actually edited out a link I had embedded in the phrase "crumbling network of ghost roads (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_Leg)", which was meant to hint at a puzzle I have in mind where you would need to divert some of the connections between tombs in order to arrange confrontations between certain ghosts (a little bit like the mix-and-match AI personality puzzles in Technobabylon), among other things.

What you wait for? Go make it! (nod)

Congrats to the winners!!! This time unfortunately I did not participate. My guess goes #2 for Blondbraid, and #7 for Mouth for War...
Snarky I liked yours ideas on both competitions, before the results revealed. There is some chemistry here, maybe we should cooperate!! :P

So, these are the ones I think we know for sure. Have I missed any?

1) Snarky
4) Stupot (me)
8) Cassiebsg
9) Durq

Here are some guesses:

2) Baron
3) TheFrighther
5) CaptainD
6) Danvzare
7) Blondbraid
10) Mandle

I'm going to slightly spoil your fun now and reveal which was my entry...

...

...

Number zero!

That's right, I didn't get round to entering this time.

And I'm going to spoil it and reveal that I did enter!

Also, I think Danvzare can be confirmed for 6, because he said he didn't do 5, and Snarky said he did 1.

An interesting thing about the lesser voted entries, judging from the comments here, a number of them were second choice for voters, but obviously that doesn't show up in the results in the end.

Quote from: Babar on Thu 14/06/2018 10:56:31
Also, I think Danvzare can be confirmed for 6, because he said he didn't do 5, and Snarky said he did 1.

Yep, that's right. :-D

I've got quite a few things to say about what people have said about my pitch as well. Most notably about how it would be filled with dead-ends and random solutions. But I'm going to refrain from doing that. As far as I'm concerned, people are right that it wouldn't work, but for the wrong reasons. So it doesn't matter. :-D

Quote from: Jojo_the_monkey on Thu 14/06/2018 09:53:59Snarky I liked yours ideas on both competitions, before the results revealed. There is some chemistry here, maybe we should cooperate!! :P

Yeah, if I can make time I would be interested. I've been here 15 years and don't have a completed game to show for it, not counting the Awards Ceremonies. A MAGS might be worth a shot.

Quote from: Snarky on Wed 13/06/2018 21:28:22
Andail actually edited out a link I had embedded in the phrase "crumbling network of ghost roads (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_Leg)", which was meant to hint at a puzzle I have in mind where you would need to divert some of the connections between tombs in order to arrange confrontations between certain ghosts (a little bit like the mix-and-match AI personality puzzles in Technobabylon), among other things.

Yeah, sorry about, but I guess I wanted it be just an elevator pitch, with no other media attached. How would you count a (rough) 80 word limit if you could link to external texts - that's a bit hard to judge fairly.

That said, I'm a bit surprised you didn't get any votes (again), because I liked your pitch, although I felt uneligible to vote, knowing who wrote what.

Hey, I got one vote last time!

No worries, there were a lot of strong entries.

Quote from: Danvzare on Thu 14/06/2018 12:54:26
I've got quite a few things to say about what people have said about my pitch as well. Most notably about how it would be filled with dead-ends and random solutions. But I'm going to refrain from doing that. As far as I'm concerned, people are right that it wouldn't work, but for the wrong reasons. So it doesn't matter. :-D

You could of course filter out dead ends, but you did write that the randomizing would be "making some puzzles impossible and others possible." The pitch reminded me a bit of Indiana Jones and His Desktop Adventures, which I always thought was incredibly boring and repetitive (like most randomly generated games), so that didn't really win me over.

But it sounds like a lot of these ideas are going into your Private Detective game, so I guess we'll see. Good luck!

My entry got two votes. I do suppose my pitch sounded too much like a horror game and not enough like an adventure game.

Well, I think it's time to coming out...

My entry was #7! Thanks to all! :-*
#3, let's shakes our hands! ;)

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 09/06/2018 10:32:30
#7
Fun! Biblical stories seem like they make a great basis for adventure games, and I wonder why there haven't been more of them. Getting down the tower is also a really nice, self-contained adventure game goal. The tone of the pitch suggests a sense of humor I would enjoy.

A couple of nitpicks: I think I would have preferred if the languages were actually real ones. Also, I have to question where the phrase book came from in the first place. (My suggestion: it was dropped by an angel, annoyed at having to deal with all the hassle of now having to bring messages in all kinds of languages.)

Thanks Snarky! The idea was focus the game in how ask to a foreigner what it really needs to comunicate with the least effort, sometimes not is only a matter of langage. When I travel in other countries I have this kind of problems... :-[

Quote from: Durq on Mon 11/06/2018 23:16:10

Quote from: Creamy on Mon 11/06/2018 17:03:02

#9 The Frighther

I never realized my writing sounds like someone who speaks English as a second language.

Heh, this means I'm making progress, Durq? (laugh)
Thanks to who nominated me even missing (Blondbraid?!?  I'm not so deep in history like him! 8-0)!

_

Quote from: Snarky on Sun 17/06/2018 21:54:01
You could of course filter out dead ends, but you did write that the randomizing would be "making some puzzles impossible and others possible." The pitch reminded me a bit of Indiana Jones and His Desktop Adventures, which I always thought was incredibly boring and repetitive (like most randomly generated games), so that didn't really win me over.

But it sounds like a lot of these ideas are going into your Private Detective game, so I guess we'll see. Good luck!

Note to self, be more aware of wording. (laugh)
Yeah, I couldn't agree more about boring and repetitive when it comes down to randomly generated games. Which is one of the main things that was wrong with my pitch, that and could you imagine the story, or the lack of one? Adventure games live and die by their stories. A randomly generated one isn't going to have a good one, if it manages to have one at all.

As for my Private Detective game, here's hoping it comes out better than I could ever see my pitch going.
It's a learning process though.

Quote from: Blondbraid on Sun 17/06/2018 22:12:38
My entry got two votes. I do suppose my pitch sounded too much like a horror game and not enough like an adventure game.

Assuming yours was number 10, no wonder since it said it was a horror game in the pitch. (laugh)
By the way, I voted for number 10 because it sounded more like a horror game than an adventure game (which made it sound interesting to me). Survival horror games, are basically just badly designed adventure games anyway.

QuoteWell, I think it's time to come out...

My entry was #7! Thanks to all! :-*
#3, let's shakes our hands! ;)

High five then, TheFrighter :-D

QuoteWell, getting zero doesn't mean nothing much really, just that others thought some other pitch better. For me the "Make your way from tomb to tomb" made me think of a very linear game play, and not an open world kind of thing, where you can explore and solve puzzles at your own will. For me that little sentence was what put me off

Me too.
The first paragraph describing the world of the dead was great.

QuoteMy entry got two votes. I do suppose my pitch sounded too much like a horror game and not enough like an adventure game.

IMO the pitch is insufficiently developed. It could be anything from Deliverance to a Date in the Park.

Quote from: Creamy on Tue 19/06/2018 17:53:58

High five then, TheFrighter :-D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66TfPBEXPMw

(laugh)

_

Nobody's probably going to guess it so my entry is #5.

I got this idea from how teen dramas tend to put such a large emphasis on the character's academic careers and relationships. If I had to save the world from monsters I'd probably take the year off.

Ideally, the game would be sets of scripted events, each contained within a small area. Each area would have a few rooms the player could explore, and a purpose other than the setting for events.

Some ideas.

• The school - grow stats
• Main character's house - customize cosmetics
• Friends; houses - manage party
• The mall - buy items
• The streets - connect all areas

So depending on where you are in the story, You'd be fighting a monster, talking with a friend, Solving mysteries, and more.

The RPG elements would be relatively basic, except you can get a free turn by bashing the monster with items hidden in the scene.

I might flesh it out more once ETR and the next PBH update are done.

A bit like Buffy the vampire slayer, I guess. Nice idea, Glenjamin!

_

QuoteA bit like Buffy the vampire slayer, I guess. Nice idea, Glenjamin!

...or the Persona series.

QuoteNumber 3 had a very intriguing mystery, but the pitch said little on how the tone or gameplay would be.

Quote
Man, this is an excellent mystery/thriller setup. It could be a Hitchcock movie or an episode of Suspense. The detail of the letters being from after he died is a cool hook.

Thanks. There's a mystery to unveil but it's also about winning the family over with your wits. The story would avoid the usual police investigation since the lover died in an accident.

QuoteAre they married or not?

It's deliberately vague because I didn't do much research on the subject. Out of the blue, it could work both ways.

Quoteif he's "away on business", why is his family around?

Actually, she'd go to the family house first and to West Virginia later.
It's simplified because of the word limit.

So, if i'm not wrong:

1) Snarky
3) Creamy
4) Stupot
5) Glenjamin
7) TheFrighter
8) Cassiebsg
9) Durq

Who's missing?

_

 6) Danvzare
10) Blondbraid

... which means that

Quote from: Babar on Thu 14/06/2018 10:56:31
And I'm going to spoil it and reveal that I did enter!

2) Babar

Congratulations again, everybody! It's really interesting to read the explanations and additional details about the different ideas in response to the feedback. One thing I'm learning from this is that it's really hard to predict how someone else will interpret a short pitch, and which phrases they'll pick up on in a positive or negative way. It just goes to show how crucial it is for someone doing this for real to both practice the pitch and actually test it before going live.

Another round next week?

QuoteIt just goes to show how crucial it is for someone doing this for real to both practice the pitch and actually test it before going live.

Yeah. It also goes to show that in real life, if you are pitching an idea and some producer doesn't like it, just keep trying, coz someone else will like it.

Quote from: Stupot on Thu 21/06/2018 14:26:57

QuoteIt just goes to show how crucial it is for someone doing this for real to both practice the pitch and actually test it before going live.

Yeah. It also goes to show that in real life, if you are pitching an idea and some producer doesn't like it, just keep trying, coz someone else will like it.

Right! And maybe Snarky could be a good producer... ;)

_

Quote from: Snarky on Thu 21/06/2018 12:02:39
Congratulations again, everybody! It's really interesting to read the explanations and additional details about the different ideas in response to the feedback. One thing I'm learning from this is that it's really hard to predict how someone else will interpret a short pitch, and which phrases they'll pick up on in a positive or negative way. It just goes to show how crucial it is for someone doing this for real to both practice the pitch and actually test it before going live.

That is 100% definitely true. (nod)
And I'm quite surprised at much I've been learning about making pitches from this competition alone.

This is a fun exercise.

Before I sent Andail my pitch I messaged him worried that my entry possibly sounded too much like a press release or the blurb on the back of the box, as opposed to a pitch you might give a prospective producer in an elevator. What are everyone's thoughts? Should we be trying to “sell” our ideas with exciting, suspenseful, press-releasey language or just let the ideas speak for themselves?

By the way, thanks for the two people who voted for my pitch :-)

Quote from: Stupot on Fri 22/06/2018 23:18:14

Before I sent Andail my pitch I messaged him worried that my entry possibly sounded too much like a press release or the blurb on the back of the box, as opposed to a pitch you might give a prospective producer in an elevator. What are everyone's thoughts? Should we be trying to “sell” our ideas with exciting, suspenseful, press-releasey language or just let the ideas speak for themselves?

Good question. What a producer "needs" on a pitch? The game mechanics, the target of the audience, the trends of the business?

_ 

Good discussion.

Just like job interviews these days, pitch presentations are very much about psychology and delivery. Since it's extremely hard to judge a game solely on its story, agents or executives search for things that seem original, buzz-worthy, gimmicky, topical, etc. They also want to know, just like in job interviews, what you can do that nobody else can. What makes your project so great? We might have to employ more of a salesperson's jargon here.

Maybe for the next round, the host (I'll happily do it again) should describe what kind of company/publisher we're actually visiting? That will make it easier for the participants to visualize what kind of jargon and concept they should use.

I got really deep into questioning all this after the first round, but then I figured: people are gonna vote for what they like regardless. (I'm certainly not going to vote for a pitch I'm not interested to play just because it seems like it might have commercial potential.) At most I think we can bring these factors up as things voters might want to keep in mind.

Or perhaps the challenge could specify some questions the pitches are supposed to answer, like "what's your hook?" or "who is this game for?" or "your idea in five words" or anything else you think would be relevant.

Quote from: Snarky on Thu 21/06/2018 12:02:39
Another round next week?

I'm in.  After missing out on the deadline here, I went ahead and wrote one up so I would be ready.

Quote from: dactylopus on Thu 07/06/2018 22:21:50
I voted for 9, it reminds me of The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Yep. I had The Running Man and The Hunger Games in mind when I wrote the pitch.

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 23/06/2018 11:15:16
I got really deep into questioning all this after the first round, but then I figured: people are gonna vote for what they like regardless. (I'm certainly not going to vote for a pitch I'm not interested to play just because it seems like it might have commercial potential.) At most I think we can bring these factors up as things voters might want to keep in mind.

Or perhaps the challenge could specify some questions the pitches are supposed to answer, like "what's your hook?" or "who is this game for?" or "your idea in five words" or anything else you think would be relevant.

Yeah, you're probably right. I was more in the mindset of "let's learn how to write something that'll sell", but in this context, people will vote on stuff they would enjoy themselves.

Anyhow, a new round is up, this time with only a minor requirement when it comes the theme of the game.