Crap in your booze: an intelligant rant. I promis ton to rant at repliers.

Started by BruisedWeasel, Fri 27/08/2004 06:54:20

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BruisedWeasel

So, I'm enjoying a bottle o blackberry brandy. ti's well chilled, been aroudn for ages, and tastes quite pleasant, with only a hint of cough syrup flavor. I'm towards the end, and there's fucking white crap in it. Little hard lumps of white crap. Fly eggs? spider puppets? Jesus, I don't like to set down to an evening's pleaseur just to be beheaded by mutant strawberry seeds in the bottom of my booze!

So, I carefully siphon my beer, and lo! a ninch of sediment! Now, this is store-bought beer, mass produced, the expiration is not for another 6 months. Why is threr human skin cell residue at the bottom of by damn bud?

I just wanted a quiet evening of absent-minded consumption. Absent minded consumption. Absent minded and then I discover swill where by booze wonse sat. It's unjust, un-American, and a minor victory tof the terrorists. The last wthing we need is for the terrorists to disrrupt our revelry.

Frankly, I can't find a solution to the problem. Or, none that doesn't involve effort. So, I'v decided to kick the terrorists where it counts, and pour the anti-american booze into the drain. The drain. the drain that is my my throat.

It's ging to be tough, but hey, I'm a tough cookie.

:=

Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens


Timosity

Usually if there are bits in alcohol, I say drink it anyway, it's probably more alcoholic, and if you are worried about any contaminents, the alcohol will kill any bacteria anyway.

The best Beer has bits in it anyway, mmmmmmm Coopers

sedriss

I once found something that looked very similar to a jellyfish in my beer. Now THAT was disturbing enough to pour the beer out.
By the time you read this you've already read it.

Mr_Frisby

I once found booze in my crap. So very disturbing. :-\















I also thought that there was an eyeball in my can of Guiness but it was just a widget.
Hey! All my awesome trophies dissapeared in the year since I was here last. CONSARN_IT! with an underscore!!! I earned dem tings!! Oh well. Hope your Monkey floats.

Gilbert


Andail

Especially the big red jellyfish that will burn your palate. Spicey!

auhsor

We should call her BoozedWeasel... Ha, I crack myself up. :P


I'm so lame.

n3tgraph

crap in your beer? yuck! :)

I once had a few beers in my heineken crate that didn't contain alcohol!!!! the bastards.
yucky water

I sent it back and got 3 crates for free  ;D
* N3TGraph airguitars!

dasjoe

... it's quite easy being the best.

Haddas

AHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Get it? Limp? Bizkit? Hahahahaaa...

* wipes tears from eyes

Anyway. I found sand at the bottom of my beer bottle once. and not just any sand, but the white tropical Island looking!

Hollister Man

I don't know about brandy or beer, but certain wines are prepared differently (not filtered and jostled), and they'll form tiny hard crystals that look like sand.  Its the product of a chemical process that happens once the wine is in the bottle.  I'll assume that other alcohols can do the same thing, although I highly doubt that Bud would have this happen.
That's like looking through a microscope at a bacterial culture and seeing a THOUSAND DANCING HAMSTERS!

Your whole planet is gonna blow up!  Your whole DAMN planet...

BruisedWeasel

That was interesting. That was interesting. That was Hey, you see that three-headed monkey? Meh....

And if it's any consolation to any of you (having dirtied the forum with my useless and stupid thread- how unlike me), I feel pretty damn sick.

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