Thanks for the offer Dan_N, and thanks to Domino and Babar for remembering the alien!
Anyway, forget the alien, he was weird looking. Thanks to Gord10's suggestion, my avatar is now Henry VIII. Let him remind you all of a time when red haired people like me were in charge, rather than publicly ridiculed.
Thanks for your help guys! From now on, consider the question 'Can you see my avatar?' to be a very basic eye exam.