Seriously? Because I'm not kidding. Here's what happened:
My family are coming over to visit me on Monday. You know how it is with family right? You want them to think your house is cleaner than it really is. So, in preparation for my family's visit, we replaced all the carpets in our house.
That is, all except for one. The hallway carpet. This is because in preparation for my family's visit, we also replaced the entire kitchen. So we had to wait for the kitchen to be completed before we replaced the hallway carpet.
By the time we were ready to replace it, it was near Christmas. Unfortunately, everyone wants a new carpet at Christmas, so it seems, and we could only find one guy who could fit it. We booked him, but earlier today he called me to tell me he couldn't make it as he'd been beaten up last night. "I broke me jaw, didn't I?" he said, "so I can't do nuffink."
He didn't actually sound much like someone who had just had his jaw broken, but that's besides the point. We've already ripped up the hallway carpet, cleaned the floorboards underneath, disposed of the old carpet and had the new carpet and underlay delivered. Our hallway looks like a wreck (even though it's actually a very expensive work in progress). I can't let my mum see it like this. We can't fit the new carpet, and we can't find anybody who can. Can someone out there help us?