Author Topic: Critic on a back(updated...) (Read 2382 times) Tweet Share

Dualnames · « **on:** 14 Apr 2008, 11:09 »

it's been a while since i posted here but ok, so here it is:
(I've pixelated and added effects)

how does it look?
What needs to be fixed?

UPDATE:
Well, ok you all made some points. Which hopefully turn my picture to this:

This link could be useful for those that want to edit it:
http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q53/JustLedZep/Copyof2.png

Iceboty V7000a · « **Reply #1 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 11:21 »

One thing that makes me uncomfortable immediately when looking at the background is that the style is not consistent. Most apparent is the more regular form of the machine (?) on the left compared with the irregularly shaped wardrobe (?) on the right, they just don't match IMO.

Another thing that gets into my eyes is that the door looks too tiny compared to the giant and tall machine and wardrobe (?, I don't know what they really are so I don't know if their sizes are appropriate).

Dualnames · « **Reply #2 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 11:24 »

okay then i should explain myself then..
the golden machine is actually a display case of an atomic vector plotter and the right one is a babel fish dispenser machine. The style was weird by choice.

miguel · « **Reply #3 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 11:37 »

Gilbot: you forgot you acid tablet before looking at Dualnames work!
Dualnames: your demo was a cool ride, man!

TwinMoon · « **Reply #4 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 14:39 »

Quote from: miguel on 14 Apr 2008, 11:37

Gilbot: you forgot you acid tablet before looking at Dualnames work!

The purpose of this thread is to give contructive criticism, not to unconditionally praise everything.

That's a good design for the plotter. I always imagined the babel fish dispenser to look more like a cola dispenser (with just only one button), but that's up to you of course.

The only thing that bothers me is that the floor has a round shape while the plotter has that straight look.
I'm also not sure what the white shape is.

At first I thought it was too dark, but it does fit the depressing atmosphere of a Vogon freighter.

Hudders · « **Reply #5 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 16:19 »

Every object in this background looks like it's floating in midair.

The floor pattern is confusing, (quite cruically, it doesn't look like a floor), and appears to be at a different level either side of the display case which, itself, looks like it's "pointing" the wrong way perspective-wise.

I don't know what the huge pink thing in the middle is but if it's supposed to be a towel it's far too thick and, again, looks to be floating in midair.

Stupot+ · « **Reply #6 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 16:25 »

I think you'd benefit from having an obvious light source. That way you'd be able to add obvious shadows and that should (i think) eliminate the floating effect Hudders was talking about.

Mazoliin · « **Reply #7 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 16:30 »

Try make the floor "flatter" and flip the grateing on it. Also all the objects seems awfully smudged/glowing. Makes me feel like theres some dirt on my screen and it really annoy me.

Other than that I have to say that you have a quite interesting style.

miguel · « **Reply #8 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 19:57 »

Ooooops, sorry TwinMoon, I guess you're right.

Well, the perspective is wrong, the floor looks like a towel and the objects size and perspective don't match.
So, why do I like it? Because, somehow it works well, it does suit it's purpouse.
I have played Dualnames demo and really like the concept of it.
Also his choice of colors set me on a mood witch relaxes me and makes my brain work.
It's like a dream world. Or acid.

Mad · « **Reply #9 on:** 14 Apr 2008, 21:30 »

I'm totally with Gilbot concerning the consistency issue.
Try to keep to one style.

Sorry couldn't really finish this 'cause of severe lack of time:

- even if you're using DOTTish perspective, try to approximate a vanishing point. Use something like the floor elements.

- use foreground objects to give the BG some depth (but not like mine, they're really crappy)

my paint-over could really need some more work, but hopefully it gives you some ideas.
Keep up the good work - hope to see your game finished soon!

charlescreations · « **Reply #10 on:** 15 Apr 2008, 03:31 »

Dualnames, I'll be honest. I don't like it. Perhaps this is because, I don't like the style. But I think in the end, style must make way for function and your background comes off dark and confusing, perhaps because of aforementioned conflicting styles. Please don't think me harsh, lol, keep working on it. Or ignore all this advice and do what YOU like eh? I give it: 3/10 Stars [***''''''']

Dualnames · « **Reply #11 on:** 15 Apr 2008, 09:43 »

I actually did notice that yes the objects are quite floating.
Which is my concern. The think in the middle is barely pink. It actually has about so much pink as a zebra does. Mad thanks for the wonderful edit. Actually i'll recreate it and repost it..The thing in the middle is a matress. If you zoomed the picture at full size it's quite obvious. And i think it does also float...Guess i do have to fix it... I'll post my edit soon enough.

Hudders · « **Reply #12 on:** 15 Apr 2008, 09:56 »

Quote from: Dualnames on 15 Apr 2008, 09:43

The thing in the middle is a matress. If you zoomed the picture at full size it's quite obvious.

I'm afraid it's not obvious. Traditionally mattresses are longer than they are wide.

I'm also not sure what you mean by "full size" - if you intend it to be viewed at a different size than you posted, you should post it as the size you want people to judge it at.

That's a great edit by Mad. I see now how the babel-fish machine would work.

Dualnames · « **Reply #13 on:** 15 Apr 2008, 10:59 »

That;s the most original size.

I just figured where i messed up. The floor. Try and see to it if the floor was a normal one instead of a ,..whatever it is.

Dualnames · « **Reply #14 on:** 16 Apr 2008, 13:31 »

Well, ok you all made some points. Which hopefully turn my picture to this:

This link could be useful for those that want to edit it:
http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q53/JustLedZep/Copyof2.png

MashPotato · « **Reply #15 on:** 16 Apr 2008, 15:40 »

A definite improvement

I suggest taking out the blurring effects (or keeping them to a minimum, and only in certain areas); blanket use of blur makes things look too fuzzy.

miguel · « **Reply #16 on:** 16 Apr 2008, 20:21 »

The fuzzy surroundings keep the atmosphere unique.
Your last screen makes proportions of things more realistic.

Ryan Timothy · « **Reply #17 on:** 16 Apr 2008, 22:56 »

The mattress looks more like a big potato sack now.

Try something like this: http://www.cityoflacrosse.org/images/pages/N158/matress.gif

Dualnames · « **Reply #18 on:** 17 Apr 2008, 10:19 »

Thanks Mash Potato..I think i could reduce them some more.Maybe a little.
Ryan can you do an edit only on the matress? There's the link below my previous post.

miguel · « **Reply #19 on:** 17 Apr 2008, 11:00 »

I hope it gets closer to what you want Dualnames, I did some changes to the floor and to the dispenser machine, also add a matress.
I've just noticed a dark line that belongs to the floor tiles on top of the machine on the right, I missed that.
Also, you should continue the tiles to your right and let that machine rest on the floor, it looks like it bumps on the wall.
I know RyanTimothy is helping you and I didn't mean to impose.
good luck