New story of fun!

Started by NTL., Wed 22/01/2003 03:12:16

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Femme Stab Mode >:D

Mr.Jerry M. Cherry lands on the moon and teaches the moon people to swear. He is made into a god of the moon people who look like walking talking butts. meanwhile..
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

2ma2

#21
The old god of the walking, talking butts of the moon started working on a highly complicated plan to terminate Jerry, using nothing but two chewing gums, a dog and 14 kitchen knifes. Meanwhile..

Femme Stab Mode >:D

Jerry uncovers the old god's evil plan and kills the old god with the chewing gum. Jerry starts to miss Earth and builds another spaceship out of toilet seats that the moon people use for beds. He starts the spaceship and misses Earth, landing on planet "the planet of pointy-poitny knives and hot boiling oil and rooms filled with hungry-hungry sex crazed rats", Meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

Simple

meanwhile nothing.  Jerry has a rockin' good time with the sex-crazed rats!  Go get em Jerr!!!!!!  Rawrrrrr!!!

Meanwhile...
Larry Vales:  Reloaded production blog:
http://larryvales.wordpress.com

Femme Stab Mode >:D

Jerry's strenght runs out and he can no longer please them. They dress him like a taxman and send him into the times of robin hood through their time machine they found in the ruins of a superiour race that got extinct long long ago. He is attacked by Ribbon Boot, who is a Robin Hood tryhard. Meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

Dmitri

The constable of Blottingham has put up a (tax deductable) reward for the capture of Ribbon Boot. Upon hearing this news Jerry yells "Zoobungies for Thurtles" which turns Ribbon into a cute baby turtle.

meanwhile...

Femme Stab Mode >:D

Ribbon boot is made into turtle soup(yum yum!) and Jerry finds Homer Simpson's time traveling toaster. He is transported to the year 2012 december 22, the day the X-files predicted to be the day of the final invasion; and indeed the Earth got invaded by those annoying " shoot the duck" banner ads. Jerry dresses up like Duke Nukem and goes off to bash some monkey. Meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

Simple

meanwhile nothing.  Jerry has a rockin' good time with those "shoot the duck" banner ads!  Go get em Jerr!!!!!!  Rawrrrrr!!!

Meanwhile...
Larry Vales:  Reloaded production blog:
http://larryvales.wordpress.com

Femme Stab Mode >:D

However, after a while the banner ads get bored with Jerry because he always misses and hits the monkey. Jerry isn't beeing a very good Duke Nukem because he hasn't got muscles and has a stringly body. Besides, all he got is a measly shotgun. He hasn't even got a bazooka! The monkeys and the ducks tie him up and carry him to a sectret temple somewhere in the jungle.Jerry is tobe sacrificed. Meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

Simple

Jerry Nukem dukes bean lamb curd tau.  Monkey bean muscle duck temptle bored Jerry miss rats java bean.  Gore habit knightly toga barmaid jamboree turtle cow bean form.  Llama lamb chow bean monkey bean duke Jerry bean jab cut slaphappy toga bean.

Meanwhile...
Larry Vales:  Reloaded production blog:
http://larryvales.wordpress.com

Femme Stab Mode >:D

Bean lamb curd tau is not happy. It doesn't like beeing duked. It yells and jumps up and down and ties Jerry up. Jerry chews the ropes (which turn out to be chewing gum) and makes a giant balloon and floats away. He falls in the sea where he meets Chowder, the hungry hungry sex crazed rat who helps Jerry get back to "the planet of pointy pointy knives and boiling oil and rooms filled with hungry hunry sex crazed rats" but this time Jerry is not welcome because Jerry's long-lost twin brother  Terry J. Fat is already there and he is etter than Jerry in every aspect.  Jerry cries and cries like an onion-poisoned cafeteria worker and uses the rats' time machine to get back to earth but accidentaly ends up on the planet "taxmen rule!", meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

Simple

#31
Jerry learns that in a very ironic twist, tax men do NOT in fact rule the planet "Taxmen rule!"  It is, rather, run by insurance agents, but Jerry learns soon afterward that this isn't ironic at all because insurance agents are called Taxmen on the planet "Taxmen rule!" and therefore the irony stems entirely from Jerry's incurable ethnocentrism.  Also Jerry tries to pee and blood comes out.

Meanwhile...
Larry Vales:  Reloaded production blog:
http://larryvales.wordpress.com

Dmitri

A vampric taxman/insurance salesman sees that Jerry is weeing blood and flies to his house on a magic goat. Jerry is bitten by the taxman but survives the ordeal only to become something indescribably hideous... a lawyer (attourney). Meanwhile

Femme Stab Mode >:D

Jerry sues the vampire and gets lots and lots of money, but the money is not tax deductable and incurs 200% tax. Jerry multiplies that by a negative number  and buys himself a push bike. He fuels himself with crisps and chocolate and other things that give you a heart disorder and rides his bike back to Earth. He becomes the best writer of survival stories ever, but get's bored and joins the navy, meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

Sporkmaster

Jerry's ship, the U.S.S. Armpit, is attacked by a band of albino pirates. They climb aboard and steal all their sunscreen. Jerry covers himself with flour as a disguise and sneaks aboard the pirate ship. Meanwhile...
Is it a spork or a foon? The debate rages on.

Simple

time is constructed of units such as hours, minutes and seconds.  Jerry forgets to bring his watch aboard the ship so the pirates taunt him by counting the hours minutes and seconds whenever Jerry is within earshot.  When he sleeps, he dreams of his mother being sodomized by a jackyl.  Meanwhile...
Larry Vales:  Reloaded production blog:
http://larryvales.wordpress.com

Femme Stab Mode >:D

Jerry discovers the pirates' stock of mobile phones and wastes all their money SMSing the hungry hungry sex crazed rats. The pirates can't pay their morgage and their ship gets taken away.Jerry returns back to serve in the navy and he is promoted to the rank of Commodore. However, after a while he retires and joins the CIA, meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

Sporkmaster

#37
Jerry's first mission was to find the Holy Remote Control Unit before it falls in the wrong hands. It was located in the steaming jungles of Canada. The journey is littered with sidequests! Meanwhile...
Is it a spork or a foon? The debate rages on.

Femme Stab Mode >:D

Jerry hires an army of cleaners to clean up the sidequests(do the right thing, put the sidequests in the bin!). He gets the Holy Remote Control Unit, but it beeing so holy Jerry can't touch it because he is not holy. For failing to touch the Holy Remote Control Unit he is dissmised from CIA and sent to the underground credit card mines, where credit cards are mined by ex-jokeys, underwear models and unknown boy bands, meanwhile...
NANANANANANA ASSHOLE!

I eat books

Day and night, Jerry plans how to get the underwear models not to ignore him. He performs credit card fraud and bribes the guard(who is a male underwear model) and gets out, meanwhile...

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