Hey folks. Life situation discussion time...
I am a native born norwegian living in Norway. Last year or something equal, I made the choice to go to the states and study animation. More precicely, I wanted to go to california and study animation. I planted the idea in my parents heads at an early stage, and it grew on them to the extent they said they could pay for the first year as my goddamn dumb fucking goverment don't give any
form of financial aid (no loans, no scholarships) for the freshman year. I have yet to find a reason for this, but it's a fact so fuck them.
I introduced the idea of going overseas to study for my best friends and they digged it. The though grew on them as well and they passed the seed of thought on to their parents who eventually agreed on the same thing as mine. As time passes we talk more and more about doing this, and I'm at this point pretty much certain I'm going. Once in a while my parents talk with me and encourage me. These processes keep their natural flow for about a year or so. Until last week.
Now I'm eating dinner alone with my mom as my dad were in some foreign country doing stuff needed to be done. Anyways, we're talking about everyday stuff when conversation suddenly swerves and lays itself in the serious lane. Suddenly, my mom starts talking about economics and how we are pretty economical stable but not extremely wealthy and stuff like this. I'm at this point pretty surprised and generally stunned as I didn't know where the serious tone and topic came from, but I think "okay, I'll let her do her thing" and listen. So she starts to talk about how my brother has applied to this fucking circus school in London, and how she needs to talk to him about wether or not this really is a good choice of school. Blah, blah, blah, conversation/monologue continues and now I'm involved. "Is San Francisco really the best place for you? This school in Volda is supposedly really good, and it's supported by the goverment!" Suddenly, rage mixed with confusion and a slowly growing understanding about what's going on here slowly starts to build up inside me. The conversation goes more and more onto this point. Within ten minutes she has more or less concluded that they can't really afford me going to the states. Fuck. Dreams swirl into a dark vortex of shit.
Ever since I was a little kid, I've been wanting to get the hell out of the, both social and political backwash I've seen Norway as. Even though I live in the capital, it has become far too small for me and I have always longed
for other countries and cultures like for example Japan or the USA. I don't blame my parents for this. Sure, they should probably have checked better up on living and tuition costs up to their own economy before letting me apply and getting accepted (yes, sorry, forgot to mention this. I already applied, paid an application fee of 500 united states dollars and recieved a letter telling me I'm accepted) but so should moreso I have done as well. I have to emphasize that my mom has worked a whole lot to stabilize our family's economical situation for a very long time now, with my dad setting up a taekwondo institute nine years ago that took about 4 years to actually not loose any money on. There is also little to do about it now, and I see not much reason to hold any grudge against them. But what the fuck do I do?
Now I need to get out of this country. Even this part of the world! What do I do? I've been thinking of moving to the Carribean for a while, trying my luck there. Having worked exclusively with customers and guests in an amusement park earlier in my life and working in a hotel these days I have a lot of experience with tourists and customer-treatment in general which should leave me in some state to get a temporary job in some sort of resort or hotel or whatever. Where I get work is not the point, but the fact that I have some work experience to get me started. I could take up the writing that I've been wanting to try out for a long time over there and try my luck with that and see where this takes me. Again this is not really important, but I'm just making the point that I have thoughts and plans for how this could go.
What do you think of all of this rambling of an anxiety ridden 18 year old norwegian kid? Am I a fool to want to escape from what I do? What should/could/can I do? What would you do in my situation? I'm sorry for the wall of text, but if you skipped it all and read this, please
take at least a minute to get the highlights and give me a though for I am in desperate need of one!