Author Topic: Fortnightly Writing Competition - Subject: Santa! (12/15 - 12/28) **WINNER **  (Read 1874 times)  Share 

Ponch

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The challenge this time is to write a few paragraphs that feature Santa Claus appearing where you least expect him. You see, Santa's been living a secret life, and it's up to you to expose him. It could be anything you like. Perhaps the police raid a crack house and find Father Christmas sleeping it off in the corner. Or you come home to find your wife cheating on you... With Kris Kringle! Or maybe a French cargo ship is boarded by a group of Somali pirates... led by a jolly fat man with an AK-47! Or maybe it's all just an innocent misunderstanding!

WHY did Santa get mixed up in this scandal?
HOW long has he been living this double life??
WHAT happens next?!?

I don't know! You tell me!


All entries must be in by December 28, 2010. (Atelier, I'm looking at you!) Winner will be determined by vote. Ties will be decided by my Magic 8 Ball (tremble before its power!).

Now get to writing! I love Santa and I'm hoping for a big turnout for this! Don't let me down at this, the most wonderful time of year, AGS forums!  :-*

- Ponch
----------------
(p.s. Don't tell kconan that I'm re-gifting his pens. It'll be our secret, okay?)
« Last Edit: 30 Dec 2010, 22:44 by Ponch »
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place

kconan

  • Conan
Hahaha  ;D  Fun idea, and I love the santa hat mod!

Ponch

  • AGS Baker
  • Shakin' Bakin' Booty Quakin'
  • Ponch worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Hahaha  ;D  Fun idea, and I love the santa hat mod!

Thanks! I'm either being very clever... or very lazy. ;)
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place

All entries must be in by December 28, 2010. (Atelier, I'm looking at you!)

 :P Don't worry, it will be done. I know I've said it a hundred times before, but I'm determined to win this round. Good luck everybody else, trust me, you will need it.

Dualnames

  • AGS Baker
  • Dualnames worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
"Ah, Christmas..." , said George. His happiness filled his heart and the heart of his wife and friends that were sitting by the fire. Even the robot was happy.
"Ah, Christmas...", said George again. His happiness was the same, but somehow some slight existence of annoyance was creeping up in the room. The robot was still happy though.

"Ah, Christ-", George begun to say, but was heavily interrupted. Not by the robot.
"Will you tell us the story uncle George already?!", said one of the kids that sat near the fire waiting for a cool story. Frankly, George was a boring middle-age, middle-class, average kind of dude, that had as much exciting stories as you do. And that's none. Only the robot had some cool stories to say, but no one was interested.

So there he was waiting for a miracle to happen.

Nothing happened for a few seconds.
And then some more.
The awkwardness of the moment really begun to creep on everyone.

Then suddenly everyone's attention was focused on the robot.
It seemed to be malfunctioning for some reason.
It was going round and round and round and round like a dervish.

This seemed endless when suddenly out of nowhere the robot was blown up.
Suddenly everyone screamed, and the room was filled with smoke and flying debris.

George started counting to see if everyone was there, and if they were all okay. He couldn't really see, so he bothered with the counting. Somehow he was counting one more. Through the smoke, he saw a lighter.

Then some more smoke.

It appeared someone was lighting a cigarette.
George stood up and moved closer to see.

Suddenly he lost the figure from his sight.
Then the smoke dissolved immediately as the air-conditioning unit began to work again at full speed.

It was ... unbelievable. Santa Claus himself.
George gasped, he couldn't believe it!

"Eh..ah..", he said. A train of thoughts passed through his brain. George only kept the thought that Santa Claus really made a stupid entrance only a ..

"Prick", said Santa Claus.
"Prick Beckard, bitch.", said Santa Claus looking at the robot.

The robot was barely able to speak. It attempted to give the finger to Prick before switching off, but Prick stepped on its battery surge and it died.
"That's the last name you'll hear. This robot reminded me of my wife. Worthless. Boring. Annoying. And left with another man and broke my heart.", said Santa Claus

"You had an affair with a robot!!???", wondered George.

"What? No. I only have a one-way affair. Ask - Ask Twice - Shoot - Call the Cleaners.", said Santa Claus.

monkey_05_06

  • AGS Project Admins
  • #1 Straight Basher
Dual..I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on there.



For years he had been collecting them, gathering them in. It wasn't always easy, bringing them here without anyone noticing. No, it wasn't easy, but it had to be done. This had all gotten out of control, so it was time for some action.

Every new recruit came with such a sense of hope and wonder. They had their chance though, and year after year they had failed. Failed to believe, failed to hope, failed to show basic human dignity or a shred of moral value toward those around them. For that, they deserved their fate.

It was simple really, once he had them. He didn't have to do anything to coerce them into eating anything offerred to them. They trusted him, implicitly. Why shouldn't they? After all, everyone knew that if ever there was a loving, honest, good-willed character it would be "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas" himself.

Long gone were those days however. Looking back, he never regretted the decision. Bringing the children in, building up his army. No, not children any more. The eldest among them was now in his early twenties. They were the perfect soldiers. That is, those who were left. Some had rejected the training, while others had just adapted to it more quickly than anticipated.

The clock hanging on the wall announced that there was only an hour left until midnight. Christmas was upon him, the time was finally here.

He began preparing his troops. They couldn't just be released from here, no, they would need a bit more help from him to reach their destinations. A bit more help, because of course his magic had already lent a hand in their "training." Those who proved worthy of his cause were deputized after a sense. They would be able to instantly "recruit" others.

The media would have a field day with this. That is what he wanted all along. Recognition. The world had turned their backs to him, except when most convenient. They would go all year thinking only of themselves, and here at the time in which a Giving Spirit is most highly emphasized, all they can do is say, "Dear Santa, I want.."

Yes, they would want. They would want to survive. He laughed to himself. They would want to feed.

He looked out over his troops one final time before their deployment. The idea to dress them after himself had been a bit silly really, but what's a bit of good fun at Christmas time?

With a nod of his head, and blink of his eye, Dear Old Saint Nick sent his armies to fly. Some to the west, and some to the east, the north and the south, his zombies to feast. With a triumphant bellow he said loud and clear, "To those who survive, I'll expect cookies next year!!"
« Last Edit: 15 Dec 2010, 21:34 by monkey_05_06 »
By and large I didn't accomplish what I set out to do, but I did accomplish a fair bit. So, there is that.

Ponch

  • AGS Baker
  • Shakin' Bakin' Booty Quakin'
  • Ponch worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Great! 24 hours in and we already have two awesome entries. Now let's get a few more!  :D
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place

Legendary

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" Merry Christmas! " said a mall Santa as he stood on the side of the road shaking a small bell waiting for offerings from the passers. I slowly walked past him, dropping about twenty five cents in the bucket, making my way to the car, I was slightly tired of always having to hear " Merry Christmas! " and always having to ask " What do you want for Christmas? " About forty five minutes after I had left the parking lot, I had already made it home..and if you're thinking that I am Santa..you're wrong heh..I'm nowhere near Santa..just another guy trying to make a easy living you could say. My name is Thomas Daniels, a common man, a smart man at that. I slowly walked across my living room, flopping myself onto the sofa and looking for the remote for the television, I found it, and slowly turned the television on.

" BREAKING NEWS! " echoes from the television as I stared daftly at it, waiting for the news anchor to tell what had happened. The news anchor slowly came back onto the screen and began to talk with a slight serious tone of voice, " This Just in ladies and gentlemen, It seems a series of break ins have been occurring very rapidly this time of year, and the break ins have became ten times that of what they were last year. " I slowly seemed to wipe at my eyes slighty, returning my gaze back against the glass of the television screen. "After we spoke with one of the victims we found out that the robber has been stealing christmas trees, cookies and jugs of milk, and presents! This is just a outrage said one of the victims. " I slowly flicked the switch on the remote, shutting the television off, and slowly made my way out the door.

I slowly walked down the ice covered sidewalk, seeming to be a bit disturbed about the news I had heard, I thought to myself, what kind of person would steal jugs of milk and cookies? thats just..weird. These thoughts seemed to hover in my mind for hours on end, I finally manage to push them out of my mind when I had arrived infront of a abandoned warehouse building, and said, " Damn..Must have lost my focus..Well, While I'm here I might as well see if I can find any thing.." I slowly gripped the wooden door on the abandoned warehouse entrance, slowly pushing it open, and inside..my eyes widened in amazement at all the Christmas trees and presents that laid scattered around the warehouse.

I slowly seemed to walk about the warehouse for a few moments, noticing all the items and reading the labels on everything, then..I noticed a refrigerator leaning up against a post, I slowly made my way to it, opening the door and noticing all the jugs of milk and containers of cookies that were inside of it. A loud crashing noise echoed throughout the warehouse, as I turned to see a man dressed in a ripped pair of red pants, a dirty red vest, with a dirty white beard. I slowly eyed him for a moment, then he spoke, " Hey! What are you doing in her-.." He burped loudly, cutting himself off in mid-sentence, I slowly stared at him for a minute, cocking my eyebrow to gaze at him with a more, disturbed look. I said, " Er' ain't you one of them mall Santas? " He seemed to stagger towards me, falling against the refrigerator and regaining his stance quite quickly. He opened the refrigerator and pull out a jug of milk and started to drink some of it, before replying, " No boy, I'm the real thin-.. " He burped loudly again..by this time I was very annoyed at him.

I sighed before saying, " Well Santa..why ain't you out delivering presents? why did you steal all of those things from those families? " He seemed to take another drink of the jug of milk, setting it back in the refrigerator. He said, " You want to know why? I'll tell ye' why..Because, those little brats didn't deserve a Christmas this year! You hear me! All they want from me is Presents! No one ever wants to leave cookies out for Santa anymore! So I stole them! And you..Thomas James Daniels..you..should know.." I seemed a bit surprised at his response.  I said, " That..is just pathetic of you Santa, you're just a shell of yourself.." I slowly turned walking towards the exit, but stopped and turned to view his face, his face told his story..it was wrinkled and his rosey red cheeks were no longer red, they were pale. I slowly pushed the door open and walked out, leaving him to stay within the Warehouse.

kconan

  • Conan
bellows a deep voice.  I opened my eyes and Santa was directly in front of me with the leather strap thingy raised above his head.  We both look towards the direction of the voice, and there is Uncle C stroking his beard with a very annoyed look on his face.  He sighs, and looks at Santa and says,

Santa replies,   My Uncle C is wearing red pants and a white shirt with suspenders, so where he just pulled out a pair of candy-cane nightsticks is beyond me.   My uncle starts slowly twirling the nightsticks around and says,   Thomas begs,   I wondered what that rusty pile of metal was out back, and I remember Dad pleading with Uncle C to get rid of it.  Thomas continues,

Uncle Claus slowly advances towards the now frightened Thomas and says,   Thomas replies,   My Uncle lets out a complete with belly jiggling, and says.    Oh my gosh!  What kind of super-meanie or organization of meanies would want to kill Santa?  My Uncle Irving points behind Thomas and says,

I yell,


Ponch

  • AGS Baker
  • Shakin' Bakin' Booty Quakin'
  • Ponch worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
I like how this thread is shaping up! More entries! Santa won't be here for a few more days! There's still time! (Overused exclamation points!)
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place

I'd just like to say I'm working on something.


I'd like to, but I can't. Because I'm not.

Ponch

  • AGS Baker
  • Shakin' Bakin' Booty Quakin'
  • Ponch worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
I'd just like to say I'm working on something.


I'd like to, but I can't. Because I'm not.
That's the wrong answer, dude! There's still plenty of time. Now summon up some Christmas spirit and start writing!

Do it for Santa!!!1! ;)
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place

ThreeOhFour

  • Order of the Maggot
  • AGS Baker
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  • ThreeOhFour worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!ThreeOhFour worked on a game that won an AGS Award!
this?

Ugh.

Somehow the girls had thought a blind date was a good idea. They didn't know any single guys, and her social circle was more like a social square, or perhaps a triangle, but a blind date? She never thought she'd be so desperate.

In fact, she wasn't desperate. Not really. Sooner or later, some little chance encounter, some little moment of happy fate would introduce her to The Right Guy, and she'd be back living a normal life. There had to be someone out there watching over her.

Five months wasn't thatolddidareneedreallybelieve, if not in me, then in the concept of someone good out there, watching over them. Sometimes the taxi cab that arrives in time is a much better present than the dollhouse with the pink roof, or the rocking horse. Caring about people, Heather. That's what Christmas is really
« Last Edit: 21 Dec 2010, 04:23 by Ben304 »

Dualnames

  • AGS Baker
  • Dualnames worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Dual..I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on there.



Me neither :P. It's just written in 10 seconds or so!  :D

Ponch

  • AGS Baker
  • Shakin' Bakin' Booty Quakin'
  • Ponch worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Great work, everyone. One week down. One week to go. There's still time for more entries. I have enough crayons for everyone!  :=
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place



Fox Man At Large!

A mysterious man is being sought in connection with a spate of thefts in London. He is suspected of numerous muggings and burglaries, and in what seems to be
a complete disregard for the law, he has evaded capture and is still at large in the city. Police stations across the capital are on high-alert, and several high-calibre
Inspectors have been selected to helm the search.

After increasing media interest, details of this man and his crimes are beginning to emerge. People across the country are dubbing him "Fox Man", because of his
reputedly vulpine ways. He is supposed to slip as silent as a fox through open windows (although closed windows are no obstacle), and allegedly has a bright red
coat to match. After committing a crime, he melts into the night by scaling buildings and dashing from the rooftops. DCI Tom Barnaby tells us of the hardships of
keeping on the heels of such a notorious criminal.

"It's very tiring, yes. But at the end of the day, this man is nothing more than a common thief, who has been allowed to start a one-man crime wave." Detective
Barnaby believes he knows why the thief may be active. "In this festive period, it's inevitable people will turn to crime to provide for their families at Christmas.
That said, at the rate this man is stealing, he could provide for all the children across the world!"

In the city however, Foxman is fast becoming a living urban legend; so much so that Melvin Slack, a 25 year old lay-about, has made it his life's mission to catch a
glimpse of the elusive Fox Man.

"It's just so cool, y'know. A real life Robin Hood, except badass, and not fake. I've made it my business to hang around crime black-spots. I've even resorted to
wearing gold chains openly, in the hope it catches his eye on the rooftops. So far, all I gotten is a lot of spec from the crib dogs."

A solitary eye-witness even gives Fox Man an accomplice. Veronica Smythe-Smythe-Smythe, who we found in the top drawer, tells us about his apprentice.

"He was short - very short. About your height. And he had pointy ears, and a crumpled face that looked like it had been beaten with a croquet mallet. Yes, I suppose
he did look much like you."

Earlier on tonight, police issued an artist's impression of Fox Man, cross-referenced with many eye-witness accounts.



They urge anybody with information to come forward. A reward of £10,000 is offered for his capture, or information to that end. As the sun shrinks over the tower
blocks of London, the search for Fox Man continues.

« Last Edit: 21 Dec 2010, 11:06 by Atelier »

Tenacious Stu

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Hi guys, this is my first ever attempt at an AGS competition and I have to admit I got rather carried away with it, sorry about the length of this 'short' story.


Whitegate Penitentiary looked as grim on the inside as it did from the bar-windowed bus on the ride in. After an unsettling induction into the confines of Prison life, I was shown to my cell by a stereotypical bellowing guard. Keep moving maggot! Get your sorry ass in that cell! I AM innocent. I started to panic. I thought I was going to avoid thisProbably something to do with that guard he was bribing. More time passed. Yes, he would laugh and his stupid fat belly would wobble.

It must have been almost midnight when I heard a most peculiar sound. It sounded like a small metal object sliding across the floor. My powers of deduction were rewarded when a key slid underneath the bars of my cell door and stopped dead in front of me as I sat on the bed. Peering out of my prison I could see nothing through the thick blackness from which someone was surely lurking. I wasted no more time; I picked up the key and carefully tried it in the lock of my cell door. It fitsWhere do I go now? I did not know the layout of the prison well enough to simply walk out of there and even though it was Christmas Eve, there would still be some guards hanging around. It was whilst I was looking around frantically looking for some sign of where to head next when the answer was given to me. A tiny red glow, possibly from a lamp of some sort could be seen at the far end of the corridor. It waved around as if it was trying to beckon me to follow it. I had no other option that to head towards it. I quickly crept by the cells of my fellow prisoners as I tried to catch up to the red light, however when I got closer to the light it seemed to get further away. Whoever is holding the light must be leading me somewhere. I continued to follow the red glow, passed some offices, through a hall, along some more cells, up a staircase until the light was suddenly visible no more and at the top of the stairs I was faced with a door. There was no other way the lamp-holder could have gone and so I pushed the door open and was greeted with a gust of snowy wind flowing around every inch of my body.

What I saw next startled me so much that I dropped the bag that held the red suit. Are those reindeer?Is this a dream?So it was Dolph who was guiding meNoel to all.


Ponch

  • AGS Baker
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  • Ponch worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Just a little over a day left. If anyone has something they're working on, you'd better hurry. Time's almost up!
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place

Ponch

  • AGS Baker
  • Shakin' Bakin' Booty Quakin'
  • Ponch worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Competition is now over. Let the voting begin!
Hustlin' Hard For Last Place