Fortnightly Writing Competition - Road Trip! =WINNER ANNOUCED=

[Ponch]

We're hitting the road for this writing challenge. You story must feature some sort of road trip, car chase, roadside diner, or something with a connection to the open road.

But the challenge doesn't end there! This tale must also have a tie in to the world of AGS. It must feature at least two AGS game characters or game creators. Maybe Oceanspirit Dennis and Life Partner Ray hit the road in their magic pimpmobile. Or what if Ben Croshaw and Ben Chandler join forces and use the combined might of their fearsome Ben-ness to terrorize the back roads of Australia? Maybe CJ and Dave Gilbert spend one magical summer traveling across America in search of the perfect onion ring (kosher, of course). Or perhaps the RON gang hit the road to solve mysteries and teach lady truckers how to love.

The possibilities are endless! But the deadline isn't. Have your stories in to the Blue Cup Roadhouse by the close of business January 26th.

Drive safely and I'll see you in two weeks.  8)

[Ghost]

This space reserved for future haunting.

[Dualnames]

This place reserved for qptain_nemo and my story

[Ponch]

Excellent! Two placeholders. And that's almost as good as two stories. I shall hold you to the IOUs, gentlemen.  8)

[CaptainD]

Interesting theme Ponch, will try to come up with something!

(So there you have... 2 placeholders and one half-baked sort of promise.) 

[Sane Co.]

2 days a pawn.
   A man sat in his office, playing a game, there wasn’t anything else that he could be doing, except being productive, like playing one of his games again. He let his mind wander to his next planned project. Yes, he was holding this project in high esteem, it would be his best yet, none of his earlier projects would be close to as good. Sure, in order to gather information, most of his other projects required him to use his time machine and psychological sensor. It was also nice that he was immune to fluctuations…
GAME OVER
   He left the game to casually go to his email program

   T.
   Come, we need to talk about your future.
   Meet at my office. Bring IT.
   B.C.

He pressed send.

   â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦..

Somewher in the country, another man was about to leave to go to work. First he checked his email, which had a few new emails, then one of them caught his eye, the one from Ben. He opened it. He found it quite ridiculous. Ben was using initials, he didn’t see why he even bothered with the initials, it was quite useless, it was pointless, because in order to reach his computer through hacking one would have to have considerable information on his life. Plus he would know if someone had hacked his email as would Ben. But nevertheless, they wouldn’t have been able to gather any information anyway. Then he decided, he would go to see the old friend. He walked out to his car, which, unlike one would suspect from a man in his profession, was not expensive. He had had it for a long time, but it worked quite well, and would easily make it across the country. He stepped in and turned on the radio. He always did this to see if they knew anything about him yet. “… strikes again, leaves rich man angry. Trilby the ‘Gentleman thief’ still roams the rich neighborhoods, there have been numerous sightings in one night, and most experts agree that copycat thefts are taking place, leaving the rich seething with anger and installing higher levels of security. In fact commonly known Bill Waterworth has set up an electric fence to deter the thieves, and James Johnson the sixteen year old honor student has been electrocuted by it. His parents were shocked that their son…”  
   He stopped the radio that was enough news for now, and anyways he had reached his destination, the baseball field. He grabbed a shovel and a pair of gloves. He then walked over to the third base where he started digging, finally he hit something, setting the shovel down he carefully put on the gloves and reached into the hole and pulled out a figurine, which he carefully stashed under his seat when at last he had filled the hole and returned to the car. He was now ready for the journey ahead.
   For the day he stopped by a motel, as he walked into the lobby he heard a voice say “If it isn’t you.”
   He spun around and saw someone who looked vaguely familiar, though he couldn’t place who exactly this was. “Umm… who are you?”
   â€œIt’s me Jim, but you are easy to recognize due to the fact that you always wear that trilby hat. Wait, is that the one you wore 15 years ago?”
   He was surprised, he hadn’t thought much of anything that had happened after the incident at the hotel, and it was too much, he fell to the floor screaming in agony, the rush of memories burning his mind, tearing it to pieces. Sure, he didn’t react so when he thought about the idol, it didn’t have enough power to bring back enough memories. But with Jim there, right in front of him living breathing he just couldn’t hold back.
   Jim was taken aback, “Trilby, are you alright?”
   The desk clerk seeing the scene rushed up immediately to help Jim. Trilby was just getting a hold of himself, “I’m fine, I’d like a room please.” He said holding out his wallet. The clerk took it, suddenly he exclaimed, “No!” as he just realized what he had done. The clerk jerked back wallet still in hand, she rushed to the desk and pulled the phone out of the receiver, “I need an ambulance. A man is having a mental breakdown. His name is…” she then looked into the wallet and saw the many ids, “I don’t know, just get here as soon as you can.
   A little while later two EMT workers ran through the door, looked at Trilby, who had recovered. One of the workers yelled “Where is he?”
   The woman pointed and said, “He’s over there.”
   The other cop said “He doesn’t look hurt.”
   â€œHe was when I called.”
   They examined Trilby and found nothing wrong with him. “Our work here is done.”
   â€œWait,” said the women “I have something I need to tell you.”
   She rushed over to the two men and whispered in their ear. One rushed at him while the other rushed out of the building. Suddenly Trilby realized what was going to happen. He dodged out of the way but he was to slow, the man grabbed him with a strong grip, and then pinned him down. His head hit the floor and he blacked.

He woke up sitting on a bench with an officer in front of him aiming a gun at his head. Trilby squinted barely, so as to not notify anyone around him that he was awake. He then started to think of a plan. He could feel the hard steel around his wrist, he also noted that they had not taken his tie, that was good. Now if only he could distract the officer.
   Then the officer spoke, “Marty, what are you doing stop goofing off and search his car.”
   Suddenly a man with a welder’s mask, a leather apron, and a machete emerged from the car.
   â€œSeiriously you need to stop messing around and…”
   The man’s attention was diverted, Trilby ducked under the bench. Nudging his tie with his chin he got it low enough that he could put his shoe through the hole, it kept slipping so he removed it, he then put his foot through the hole and tugged, the tie came loose. He shifted so he could reach his pick, grabbed it and quickly started picking the cuff lock. Then he heard the guard scream, and fall to the ground, covered in blood. Trilby stayed where he was, the being walked right passed him. He rolled out from under the bench cuffs in hand and drove the edge into the man’s skull. I t bounced off but knocked the man out. He ran to his car, started it, and drove away. That was a close one, though not the closest it had ever been for him. After a while he turned on the news.
   â€œâ€¦Trilby sighting at a motel. Trilby was said to be at a motel this morning, the motel owner says she heard one of her guests refer to him as Trilby, she took his wallet and noted that he had many fake identities, this was enough for her to call the authorities, who then came and started getting ready to take him to the police station, not much is known what happened after that, one officer is dead and the other has no recollection of what happened. It is possible he was under the influence. Stay away from Trilby he is a marked murderer. We will put sketches of him up on our website of what he looks like. Next we will be covering why Trilby has decided to step out of the shadows after so long…”
   Trilby continued driving listening to crazy ideas, like, Trilby is actually good and he has come out to fight the aliens who will torment the earth, to Trilby is building a giant robot army and he is retrieving the parts necessary. He had finally reached the building he was headed for. He stepped out put on the gloves  and carefully hid the idol. He stepped into the building and rode the elevator up to the fifth floor, opened a door which had the initials B. C. written on it, and stepped in.
   â€œBen…”
   â€œYes, trilby I’ve been expecting you, we need to discuss the future.”
   â€œMay I ask you something?”
   â€œGo ahead.”
   â€œWhy do you insist on discussing my future, what I should do? What’s in it for you?”
   â€œThe fame, the money. You don’t understand yet, but you will. Telling Ben Croshaw what happened caused him to make AGS, adventure game studio, famous, thus paving the way for me to become famous. See I used my time machine to give him the information about you, he made many games with you in them, they are mostly correct on what happened and what will happen. Once people realize the predictions are real, I will force Ben to tell them that he didn’t make the predictions, but I Ben Chandler did, I will grow to become the overlord of the world. No one will stand in my way.”
   â€œSo this is for you, and not for me?”
   â€œ No, you will live for a long time much longer than a normal life at least 200 years.”
   â€œWhat do I have to do?”
   â€œYou have to act like you are working for the government in a special program, then send the idol into space.”
   â€œMooo.”
   â€œBe quite Ponch.”
   Just then Trilby notice the large cow in the middle of the room.
   â€œO.K. I will do it.”
   Trilby left. And thus began the reign of Ben chandler. Little did anyone know Ponch had a plan too…

[Ponch]

Two more placeholders. Very good. 

[Ekeko]

Hmmm... Count me in! 

[Sane Co.]

Does an entity count?

[Ponch]

Does an entity count?

How do you mean, exactly? If you don't want to give it away, just PM me. 

[Ponch]

Halfway through this fortnight, people. Bumping to remind you that we still need those stories.  8)

[monkey0506]

This is based on a true story. I know that it is true because it actually happened to someone that I actually sort-of know online. I think.

It was nearly 8 PM when the message came across on Ben304's screen. "A 'super-quick mini-project'?", he thought to himself. As terribly busy as Ponch kept him, locked away in the basement, otherwise known to the public as "Australia", Ben rarely had any time to do anything for himself. Still, he knew that monkey_05_06 was a pretty decent guy, at least when it comes to the ability to program with AGS.

Another message, another thought. "What? But that's the stupidest thing ever!" Ben said so, typing a response to his virtual companion. It didn't matter. Ben knew in his heart that he was going to do it anyway. No matter how long it took. Deep down, he'd always wanted to make a fan game of a fan video series. He started drawing straight away. Didn't really matter what it was see, Ben just loved to draw.

Only a few minutes later, and Ben was already uploading a quick mock-up of what the thing could look like. It would bear more relevance to the final product than he probably realized. He waited in anticipation. As he waited, he drew.

Ben continued on for hours, discussing this and that about the art he was creating. It was unlike anything else he'd ever done before. It was beautiful. Finally, Ben decided that he could not continue on any more. Not, at least, without a Coca-Cola. Ponch was deep in slumber after having drank deeply of the warm milk he always kept readily at hand. Ben wouldn't try to run though. No, he had learned that if he ran, Ponch would find him. No matter where, no matter how far, Ponch would come!

So as Ben stole silently up the stairs, he hoped that Ponch had not drank the last Coke. Opening the refrigerator door, he realized that his hope was in vain. Hell! He'd have to steal Ponch's keys to his Ferrari. He wouldn't risk taking the Lambo at this time of night, with no Coke pumping through his body. Now, all he had to do was get to the keys.

No one knows just why Ponch keeps his car keeps* keys in his left hoof-shaped shoe. Many have pondered, yet even Ponch himself has long ago forgotten the reasons why.

Taking a deep breath, Ben gently eased the shoe off of Ponch's great foot. At one point, Ponch shifted slightly in his chair, but the milk had done its job. Ponch would not be waking that night. With the keys in hand, Ben made for the garage. He would just drive to the store, and be right back. Wouldn't take him more than 15 minutes.

Ben wondered for a moment whether or not he should grab a bag of chips as well while he was there. Maybe some Doritos. Nacho Cheese. Yeah! That would help keep him alert while he continued working on this project with that blasted monkey.

He nearly sat on it before he realized what was sitting in the driver's seat of the car.

A brand new, unopened, 20 oz. bottle of Coca-Cola. Not only that, but also a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos.

Without knowing why, or how, or from where, Ben grabbed his loot the car had so graciously offered him, and headed back to his quiet dungeon. Was it ghosts? Was there some sort of gaming god who wanted to see this project fulfill its destiny? Was it an ancient alien civilization? Was it Ponch telling him to get back inside? Was it coincidence?

Some questions may never be answered. The open road slept peaceful and alone that night, contented that it had saved Ben's life, little did Ben ever know.

And that, dear children, is how I Wonder What Happens In: I Wonder What Happens In: Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 5: Rise of the Pirate God: The Game! is was made.

Edit: *This was the only edit I made, I swear. Just fixing a typo.

[Ponch]

Fantastic! Not nearly enough stories feature me as the cruel taskmaster that I am. All the other villains laugh at me, really.

Thanks, Monkey. Now get down in the basement with Ben and Dualnames. Those games are aren't going to make themselves!

EDIT: Fixed a typo. (And then beat Monkey savagely)  8)

[monkey0506]

Those games are going to make themselves!

But wait! What do you need us for then?? :'(

[Ponch]

Those games aren't going to make themselves!

But wait! What do you need us for then?? :'(

To make games for me! Ignore my typos and do what I say! Now down in the basement, I said! MOOOOO!!!! (<-- Angry bellow*)

- Ponch
-------------
* Sadly, we don't have an emoticon for that. But I bet Tabata does.  

[Tabata]

To make games for me! Ignore my typos and do what I say! Now down in the basement, I said! MOOOOO!!!! 
- Ponch

Wonderful story monkey - we need more of this "reports"  8)

[Ponch]

See? I knew you had a smiley for every occasion.  

[CaptainD]

It wasn’t easy growing up.  I mean, when you’re the secret lovechild of Oceanspirit Dennis and Nelly Cootalot, what hope have you got?

Anyway, it was time for me to make a name for myself, so I called up my best buddies, Graham of Daventry, Roger Wilco, Indiana Jones and Zak McKraken, who were all famous even before they worked for the BBC (Big Blue Club), and all of whom could be relied upon to help out.  Unfortunately Graham was too busy at his club telling bad jokes, Roger was either cleaning a toilet or saving the universe (I’m a little hazy as to which, or perhaps it was both); Indy was making up weird tales about aliens and somehow had picked up a son at some point, while Zak was busy writing cheesy headlines for his tabloid.  So it was left to me oldest chum, Ben Jordan.

Now Ben had this really great gig going on â€" he called himself a “Paranormal Investigator”, created a lot of weird events when no-one was looking, fed on peoples’ paranoia, then stopped doing the weird things and pocketed a nice payment along with his client’s eternal thanks.  So we went on a road trip one day to a place called “Reality on the Norm” â€" in the brochures it looked really nice, but when we got there, so many genuinely abnormal things were going on that Ben freaked out and got himself a job as an accountant.  Actually, after that I never saw him again.

Still, after driving down the road from RON, I encountered a nice chap who was hitchhiking.  We enjoyed chatting about how life so often parodies science fiction movies and series, the similarities between real life and adventure games, and how many interesting ways there are to die.  Another hitchhiker jumped in just outside Basingstoke; his name was Arthur Dent, and he had a headache.  Unfortunately in addition to this he was being chased by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, and this was upsetting him greatly as the best wanted to eat him.

It was due to this that we made a detour to the Galaxy of Fantabulous Wonderment and got a speed-up kit.  We headed towards Plymouth, with the Bugblatter Beast of Traal still hot on our trail, but our increased velocity gave us a comfortable lead.  However after some time we were stopped by a policeman called Larry Vales, but he was too bored to give me a ticket.  He did however do a nice job of feeding the beast, though I don’t think he had actually intended to be a meal. 

In the middle of the road we found a strange man lying down.  His name was Yahtzee, and he explained that he had been a skeptic for 7 days; at some stage he had spent 6 days as a sacrifice and the previous 5 days he had been a stranger.  We asked what he was now, and he didn’t know.  Roadkill was suggested, but he didn’t like that.  In the end he went off with some very cold person who insisted that he worked for Rectangle Enixxxxy.   Just when we thought things couldn’t get any more bizarre some Australian guy called Duzz turned up, who turned out to be an evil twin robotic version of himself, and promptly imploded.

Eventually we arrived at Newquay and went swimming, only to be caught by a better mousetrap while enjoying the purity of the surf.  We were forced to play eye spy with my wadjet eye for many hours, before finally Emily said “Enough!”.  To this day I don’t know who this Emily chick was, but she’d sure had enough that day.  So had I; I went to bed, and reflected on a strange and eventful road trip.  I couldn’t help but think that the whole thing had been a meaningless name-dropping exercise.  As I drifted off to sleep it dawned on me that Jimmy was a troublemaker, and that I’d made a mess that even Limey Lizard would struggle to keep up.  I dreamt of American Girl Scouts. 

I awoke and got tech support from a yeti in a call centre.  I went to work feeling grumpy.  The man with two names (both of which I forget) greeted me warmly;  “Good morning, Ponch!”.  Ponch refused to let my entry win because this story seems to suggest that he is the secret lovechild of Oceanspirit Dennis and Nelly Cootalot.

THE END (finally...).

[Ponch]

But Nelly told me my daddy was Larry Vales. How else do you explain my luxurious sideburns? 

Nice entry, CaptainD. Now lets have a few more, people!

[Sane Co.]

Sorry it's so long, I couldn't stop writing.