Icey, the errors in this effort are so staggering - "He seen the sick sitting quitely", "Save us from from fate ahead us" - that whomever was responsible for teaching you the basic fundamentals of reading and/or writing should be ashamed.
It's also hard to tell who is saying what, as all the text is the same colour.
It took me five minutes to play this "game". It took me another five minutes to rewrite and edit it so it actually makes sense:
Dreams - Rewritten and Edited to make Sense.
***Intro***
"Where there is Light, there must also be Dark. Where there is Life, there must also be death. And where there is Evil, there is...The Saviour. The Saviour is sworn to help those too weak to protect themselves against the forces of darkness. The Saviour...is Dave.
However, Dave is about to come face to face with a little girl trapped in a coma, a girl named Molly, a girl who's time is running out. If she doesn't wake up soon, the machines keeping her alive will be shut off.
Knowing he could be of no use to her in the real world, Dave, against the advice of Molly's doctor, has asked to be put into an artificially-induced coma in order to DREAMLINK into Molly's mind.
But in doing so, Dave has lost his memories. He has no idea who he is, and no idea how he came to be standing in this cold, barren world."
Dave: What's going on? Where am I? Who am I?!
Molly: We are...trapped.
Death: This is my domain, human. No one can help you now. The girl is mine, and soon you both shall be consumed in darkness...forever!
(He fades away)
Molly: No. There is hope. The Saviour. You must remember. Your mind lies fragmented in this world. Remember. Only your memories can free our souls.
Dave: My...memories?
Molly: Remember.
Dave: I'll...try.
***Interactions***
Right click the Sign:
"The light from the sign seems insignificant, and out of place."
Dave: Pub? I know that word. Didn't my brother...Chris?...work in a- Yes! A pub! And I worked there too! I remember!"
Molly: "Remember."
***
Right-click on Graffiti:
"Though the paint may be fading, the letters are still legible."
Dave: PMQ? I...I've seen those letters before. I remember journeys. Journeys with friends. Quests! Pub Master Quests! I remember!"
Molly: Remember.
***
Right-click on the Sparkle:
"Something sparkles in the bushes. A small glowing sphere."
Dave: Holding it in my hand makes me feel...warmer, somehow. I remember...a name. Muffy! I owe you so much. You saved my life with a sphere just like this! I remember!"
Molly: Remember.
***
Right click on the Tree:
Someone has carved a heart into the trunk of this tree.
Dave: "D+T FOREVER". Did I do that? Is the "T"...Tifa? It is! I promised I would be with her always. I remember!
***Once all memories have been found***
Molly: Dave.
Dave: "I remember! Molly! I'm here to rescue you! We've got to get out of here! You have to wake up."
(Fade to white)
Molly: Saviour.
***Outro***
Dave awakens. He looks over at Molly, still asleep in the bed next to his.
Dave: Molly?
He feels a hand on his shoulder, and looks up into the face of the doctor standing beside him.
Doctor: I'm sorry.
Dave: No! I saved her! I know I did! She just...needs more time!"
As the doctor moves to shut off Molly's life-support, a small voice croaks:
MOLLY: Dave. Thank you.
(Fade to white)
***END***
It's still not a game, or particularity well written, but at least it doesn't read like a brain hemorrhage. If you want to use this version, Icey, then feel free to do so. If I must be credited, then I ask that I be credited only as Alan Smithee. Or you could just look at how I've written it (again, not in a way that's particularly special), how I tried to make a clear distinction between narrative and dialog so as to prevent confusing the player, and rework your own writing in a similar way.
I'll leave this thread open for now, but if we start going in the same old (oh, so very old!) circles, I'll be forced to drop a lock-block.
