I am not sure I understood everything what was said here, but the situation about long unemployment sounds a bit familiar.
I had similar thing some time ago; I couldn't find a job for a long while (later I realized I did certain mistakes, but that's irrelevant), and when I finally did and thought the "unlucky" period is over, it turned out to be the worst job I ever had and that nearly drove me mad :/.
The anger mixed with self-overcriticism resulted in a long depression that lasts till now (I think it starts to weaken...), even though I changed to much better job already.
The details are personal and particular, I guess. For me the only thing that could improve my mood was making something for others and, especially, with others, the feeling that I and what I do is actually useful to people.
Don't know what happens with you, monkey, and how much it is same, thought I'd mention this... just in case.
