A Topic of Grave Concern

[Snarky]

You know how in Sierra adventures (and some LucasArts ones), when you visit a cemetery there are lots of gravestones with funny/macabre epitaphs and rhymes?


      Here lies Lester Moore
      Gored six times by a wild boar
      No Les, no Moore


      Mikhail Mehd
      Bumped his head
      In another man's bed
      Now he's dead


      The debonair Archduke Von Drake
      Was always a bit of a rake
      He chased a maid through the grass
      But when he caught the lass
      She drop-kicked him into the lake


      Here lies an atheist
      All dressed up and nowhere to go


      Here lies the spirit of Barnie Blue
      To his lover was untrue
      So she knew just what to do
      Fixed herself a Barnie stew


Etc. So who reckons they can come up with some more gravestones? (Your own, if you dare!)

[wisnoskij]

This is a really GrimE thread.

lol

funny epitaphs.

[Ponch]

A couple of years ago, in a teaser trailer for one of my Barn Runner games, I offered to kill off the main character if that's what it would take for me to finally win a coveted AGS Award. Does that count?


The offer still stands, by the way. It is award season, you know.

[Tabata]

... I offered to kill off the main character if that's what it would take for me to finally win a coveted AGS Award. 

I could make an extra award icon with PP
             
... if you don't kill him ...
       
- you just need to bribe AGA to put it in your profile.

[Ghost]

Hmmmm, what about:

This Grave Is Fill'd With Some Bones
Belonging to Indy A. Jones.
Dropped Sand On A Trap,
Then Took A Wrong Step,
His Death I Hereby Announce.

(Brrr. Reim dich oder ich fress dich...  )

I could make an extra award icon with PP ... if you don't kill him ...

Tabby, you can't make gravestones for people and then deliberately NOT kill them! That's how you get ghosts! I should know!

But one for Prick too:

Peckard was born in a barn,
a source of mischief and harm,
He wasn't that thick,
and surely no dick,
his life was an epic yarn*!
__
* Several episodes in fact!

[Ponch]

Thanks, Ghost! 

And don't worry, Tabby. Prick is safe. I'll never win an AGS award, so nothing will happen to him. 

[Stee]

Here Lies Ben Jordan,
Who after the show kept a-whorin',
Never thought he'd lose his sack,
At 33 died from the clap.

Now we just have to petition Grundislav to put it into the tenth and final Ben Jordan Game 

[WHAM]

Herein lies the catburglar Trilby
...
Ummm?
...
I give up!
- Gravestone of Trilby the Catburglar

Here lies a ghost from the RAM
Born as someone's rig went ka-blamm
It'll haunt this machine till the end of days
All software, beware of it's mischievous ways!
- Gravestone of a RAM ghost

[ThreeOhFour]

ThreeOhFour
HeNoMore

[Problem]

Problem finally solved.

[Crimson Wizard]

I wrote this maybe couple of years ago. Perhaps a bit quirky for epitaph, yet -

Rick McCarthy hanged himself
Being mocked by evil elf,
All his troubles passed away,
So beautifully cliché.

[Armageddon]

Here's lies Zed.
He is dead.

[Stupot]

Oceanspirit Dennis
lost his pennis
Should really have
visited a hygienist.

Here lies the man known as Snarky
Caused ever such a malarky
Got off with the maid
but his crime was repaid
With a visit to good Old Sparky

[Anian]

Here lies Rosa Blackwell
last of her kin,
stopped a lot of ghosts,
but didn't stop smokin'

[CaptainD]

Here lies Captain Disaster
Of calamity he was a master
He was attacked by the Bjork
and a yeti armed with a fork
If only he could have run faster!

[Intense Degree]

Here lies the great detective Prick,
In quests for love, at naught he'd stick.
In a manner, less than debonair,
He tried his best to seduce the mayor,
But became stuck upon her best ice-pick.

It's how he'd have wanted to go!

[Dualnames]

Here beneath the mud
lies the world's most wanted stud
Perhaps not smart to still be
what he wanted was a mystery.

Wearing the weirdest shirts
always following skirts
Even in dreams, the one and only
Prick seemed happy but he was really lonely

[Ponch]

Thanks, Mr. Degree and Doctor Names. 

[Snarky]

As upon this grave you tread
Spare a blessing for the dead

Arthur Gregor Bellamy
1810 - 93

Once as quick as you he trod
Now he lies here under sod
Likewise shall you one day lie
So the world goes: All things die

[Stupot]

I was thinking. We could keep this thread alive by posting topical epitaphs of recently deceased celebrities and other notable figures (or dogs).  Here is an example:

Here lies Barney Bush
2000-2013
A fallen hero in George's
war against terriers.