Corrupt-A-wish!

Mandle · Tue 14/04/2015 00:02:44

Granted: But this makes you fast as lightning!!! No...I mean literally! You cannot move any slower than the speed on lightning. Have a good life!

I wish the whole world was Disneyland.

Wyz · Tue 14/04/2015 00:31:12

Granted: but now there are queues everywhere. There are even lines to go to the toilet, in your own house!

I wish the weekend had an extra day.

Cuiki · Tue 14/04/2015 02:46:11

Granted. The Earth's orbit moves further away from the Sun to slip in all those extra days for you, but now you keep getting colds and can't go to work at all, even when you want to.

I wish my forum posts weren't always so silly.

Mouth for war · Mon 27/04/2015 17:45:41

Granted but now they are just stupid

I wish that junkfood was healthy for me

kconan · Mon 27/04/2015 18:55:04

Granted, but you have war-crime level farts shortly after every meal.

I wish that I was a prolific game-maker,

Stupot · Mon 27/04/2015 23:40:29

Granted, you become the most legendary game-maker in all of Panem. But unfortunately, are killed by Katniss Everdeen.

I wish I could explain my thoughts more articli... arcitul... aliculis... better.

Eric · Tue 28/04/2015 01:11:09

Granted. Your new mastery of language means the vapid inferiority of your thoughts, previously obscured by your incoherence, is now plain and clear for the world to see.

I wish for your freedom, genie!

Stupot · Tue 28/04/2015 21:16:20

Granted. Thanks, good man. Now I can die like a normal human... but... I kind of miss fucking with people. So feel free to keep wishing stuff and I'll see what I can do.

I wish people would stop calling the new X-Files episodes a "reboot". It's seriously starting to drive me insane with rage.

Gurok · Wed 29/04/2015 00:06:09

Fine. People stop calling the X-Files episodes a reboot. In fact, they stop talking about the X-Files altogether and start talking about the Full House reboot instead.

http://time.com/3837921/full-house-reboot-olsen-twins-john-stamos/

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

I wish I didn't have to vacuum.

Sweat · Thu 18/06/2015 20:11:54

Granted, but now you have to clean by sucking through a straw.
I wish I could fight bears and win!

MiteWiseacreLives! · Fri 19/06/2015 15:18:21

Granted! But due to a key punch error down at the Bureau of Wishes you singlehandedly destroy every beer in the known world, damn you.
I wish 1hr of sleep to be equal to 2 hours of sleep.

Cassiebsg · Fri 19/06/2015 17:42:49

Granted! But now you moved through live at double speed and have thus shorten your live in half.

I wish the summer arrived already!

Mandle · Mon 22/06/2015 15:41:17

Granted: A huge solar flare envelopes the Earth and causes "summer" to arrive early...But it has also wiped out the ozone layer and caused every communications network on the planet to...BBBBBZZZZZZTTTTTTTT....<Transmission Lost>

I wish all my friends didn't like Karaoke so much...