The 4 word story thread

Danvzare · Mon 30/10/2017 11:40:02

I think we should start a new chapter. And have CaptainD add the summary of the latest chapter to the first post.

Spoiler

Chapter 8

It was the best time for a nuclear meltdown.
But Snappy didn't like eating Plutonium sauce without an uranium topping, so he uncorked a bottle of his finest North Korean nuke flavoured vomit with carrot chunks, applying them generously with radiant whip cream and succulent hippopotamus rump steak.
"This hippo meat originated from my wife, who can't stand the pressure of being married to Ol' Snappy here," he claimed.
"I hope she doesn't mind if I eat her." Snappy then opened a secret compartment revealing an inter-dimensional portal in orange and blue gift wrapping, that never was activated.
He then went through the portal, just to find out where it led.
Little computer people looked at the end credits, surprised by the hidden meaning of "No animals were harmed during the making of this sentence".
Strange to think that only yesterday he was recovering from sentence-induced wounds.
Crying, a thing he never knew existed until now.
Laughing, a thing he practiced copiously, albeit with little enthusiasm.
When goats laugh, they usually blow trumpeting sounds from their anal openings while yelling furiously at each other's parents in incoherent haiku.
When goats cry, everything falls apart, literally everything.
But goat tears form shapes nobody would ever want to see described.
Out of the blue AGS cup, came a disgusting smell that was somewhat like rotting skunk or a McDonald's burger.
Snappy took a sip, "gaak! schwaa! blurgh! EEEEEEeeeeeeee..." he cried, melting into a goat-shaped puddle of putrescent, sizzling, multi-colored slime.
The slime then began to take the form of Old Snappy but this time he had mutations, including terrible bulging forearms and an appetite like a goat in heat.
Feeling like someone who could take on a drunk mall Santa, this monstrous Snappy mutation began to rampage through a tulip garden.
Ironically, this garden was poisoned, which made him even more determined to find solace among the trees.
A friendly bird came to warn Snappy of the poisoned tulip garden hidden deep within the past, and he remembered.
He remembered the tumoils, the tumors, and turmoils, tortoises, turtles and terrapins, tortillas, traffic cones, and turgid topaz-tinted tarantulas tearing through the terrain.
This needless alliteration was also an arbitrary agitation, aggravating Albert and Anita, amazingly activating artificial anacondas slithering sideways so skillfully.
Suddenly Snappy sought salvation.

[close]

And now onto Chapter 9