Fortnightly Writing Competition - Backstabbing - RESULTS!

Started by kconan, Mon 08/05/2017 15:27:11

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Ponch

I've been out of town all week. I need to unpack, do laundry, and buy groceries. Can that deadline get pushed back until Sunday night, Texas time? Otherwise, there's no way I have time to work on this today. :undecided:

kconan

Quote from: Ponch on Sat 27/05/2017 19:22:00
I've been out of town all week. I need to unpack, do laundry, and buy groceries. Can that deadline get pushed back until Sunday night, Texas time?

Done.  The deadline is now late night Sunday, Texas time.

Mandle


Ponch

#43
Quote from: Mandle on Sun 28/05/2017 01:58:52
Ponch, that new avatar rocks!
All credit is due to jwalt problem. He made it, along with many others, about 3 years ago. :cool:

EDIT: Whoops. A quick forum search tells me Problem made this avatar. :-[

Baron

Quote from: kconan on Sat 27/05/2017 19:23:59
Done.  The deadline is now late night Sunday, Texas time.

My cinematic research indicates that "sundown" or "high moon" would be more proper terms in the Texan colloquial. :)

kconan

Quote from: Baron on Sun 28/05/2017 15:24:13
My cinematic research indicates that "sundown" or "high moon" would be more proper terms in the Texan colloquial. :)

While I'm glad Ponch is in the comp, I'm a bit out of it from building deck stairs and the ground underneath (using topsoil) and so I hurriedly wrote that with utility in mind rather than entertainment.

Translation:
I'm happier than a two peckered dog Ponch joined our rodeo, but I'm all tuckered out from being busier than a cat covering shit on a rock pile and so I wadn't fixin' to make purtee writin'.


Baron

Wow!  He's like some kinda ...Ponch-whisperer! 8-0  You can sling that sultry slang all over me like a roadkill on pavement, pardner. :=

Quote from: kconan on Sun 28/05/2017 19:43:26
I'm a bit out of it from building deck stairs and the ground underneath (using topsoil)

This sounds like my deck-stair building experience, where I was too cheap to buy the larger stringers and had to build the ground up to meet the bottom step.... (roll)

Frodo

Quote from: kconan on Sun 28/05/2017 19:43:26
I'm a bit out of it from building deck stairs

Were you building a Stairway To Heaven?  :cheesy:

And YES!  The Bold\Italic\Underline buttons are back!  :grin:

Ponch

Sadly, it's almost 9pm and I'm just now getting home after a very busy Sunday. I had hoped to hammer my story into some kind of workable state, but alas, it doesn't look like it's going to happen. Sigh. :sad:

I had high hopes for it too. It was told from the point of view of Crazy Horse, the native American leader, visionary, and warrior. At the end of his long war with the army, he finally surrendered to the army and prepared to move to the reservations. However, just after he signed the peace treaty, he was literally stabbed in the back and died.

Like I said, I high hopes. But I've run out of time. Good luck to everyone else! :smiley:

Frodo

That's a shame Ponch  :sad:

Hope to see you in the next competion

Mandle

Can we have all that deck-building talk once more with New Zealand accents please?

kconan

Quote from: Baron on Mon 29/05/2017 02:36:55
This sounds like my deck-stair building experience, where I was too cheap to buy the larger stringers and had to build the ground up to meet the bottom step.... (roll)

I refused to have 6 steps, but my reasoning was just stubbornness rather than being frugal as I've spent way more on Lowe's topsoil than I would have on larger stringers and extra treads.

kconan

The contestants:

Mandle
Frodo
Blondbraid
Sinitrena
Baron

The categories:

Best Stab:
Best Stabber:
Best Setting/World:
Best Writing/Style:

There is one choice per category...Time to VOTE!

Frodo

My Votes  :wink:
Brilliant stories all round though.   :thumbsup:


Best Stab:  Blondbraid  -  A Cold Blade

Best Stabber:   Baron  -  The Gnawing Worm of Treachery

Best Setting\World:  Sinitrena  -  Trust Is An Illusion (love a good Vamp story!  :grin: )

Best Writing\Style:   Mandle  -  My Memoir Of Me

Baron

Best Stab:  Mandle.  There's something particularly loathsome about the helpless turning on their benefactors. (roll)

Best Stabber:   Ponch. For not following thr Blondbraid.  Kazimir's backstab was just about as close as you could get to noble.  He seemed genuinely to mourn his despicable plan, gave his victim a year of great life that would have otherwise been nasty and foreshortened (without an appendage at the very least), and even offered his poor victim an out.  If that's not class, I don't know what is. :=

Best Setting\World:  Sinitrena.  Because Vampire Wars. ;-D

Best Writing\Style:   Mandle.  I thought the rushed dictation style really worked for this story.

Sinitrena

Best Stab: Blondbraid - Very good story overall and very clear demonstration of Ahmed's motives (and why he didn't see the Kazimir's betrayal that was fairly obvious to me early on.)

Best Stabber: Frodo - While it was clear pretty early on that Kalena would steal the onyx dragon, she showed signs of deception and lead Anthony to trust her.

Best Setting/World: Mandle - What an abysmal human being you created! :-X

Best Writing/Style: Baron - I just love the names of all the fight moves. It's a bit unfortunate that the story is very little else. Still, very enjoyable.

Mandle

What a great bunch of stories this round! I had a great time reading each and every one. I guess the fun of writing about betrayal brings out the inner Shakespeare?

Best Stab: Baron: I didn't see the stab coming at all! I was as blindsided as the stabee. Also loved the parody on modern pro-wrestling and the Princess-Bride-poisoned-wine-scene feel of second guessing the opponent. Such fun!

Best Stabber: Blondbraid: I was very invested in Ahmed's character and my mind was racing towards the end wondering where the final betrayal would come from: Ahmed himself, Kazimir, or perhaps even the king. Gripping!

Best Setting/World: Baron: Masterful world building. The reader can understand exactly the situation of Roman gladiator fights, and the wider slave-society the men live in, and yet none of this is ever described as direct exposition. The whole story takes place in a wooden box and yet we know so much about the entire world through subtle writing. My favorite examples are the purse of Roman coins, confirming we are in Rome and not a different culture or fantasy setting, and the torn board, which gives us a small window into the outside world and also, unexpectedly for me, the twist at the end of the story. Really wonderful yarn!

Best Writing/Style: Frodo: I really liked the play-script style of the piece. It stripped away the need for lengthy visual narrative and other cumbersome tropes that would have only slowed down the simple but effective story. It would work well as a short radio play, and I just LOVE radio plays!

Ponch

Good reads and some new blood for the FWC (Welcome, Frodo). :cheesy:

Best Stab: Mandle
Best Stabber: Blondbraid
Best Setting/World: Sinitrena
Best Writing/Style: Frodo

kconan

Need Blondbraid to vote, and maybe - hopefully - we can get a few more voters and then we'll wrap this up.

Blondbraid

Well, it was hard choosing between such great entries, but here's my vote:

Best stab: Baron
Best stabber: Baron
Best setting/world: Mandle
Best writing/style: Baron

The other entries were great, but Baron's entry was simply so tense and claustrophobic yet fun and exciting at the same time!


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