Fortnightly Writing Competition - ALTERNATIVE TRUTH (Results)

[Baron]

This isn't a writing competition, it's a word fight!  Or maybe it is a competition.... it depends on your point of view, I guess.  Some people see things one way, one might say the "correct" way, while others see things differently, one might say the "bafflingly, inexplicably wrongheaded and moronic" way.  But both perspectives have merit in the era of...

Alternative Truth


Your writing challenge for the next two weeks is to create a story featuring a distinctly unconventional, far-fetched, or laughably idiotic perspective.  To make it work I would think you'd have to write about something with facts that everyone can agree on and then warp the meaning of those facts, but then that's just my own weirdo opinion.  One bonus vote will be awarded for every entry that does not mention The Donald by name.    Deadline will be when it's no longer Saturday June 17, 2017 anywhere on Earth.  Possible voting categories might include:

Best Alternative Truth
Best Alternative Truth Spouter
Best Alternative to a Plot
Best Alternative Writing
Best Alternative Thought Provokingness

Good luck to all participants!

[kconan]

  Great theme! I've got an idea for this one...Assuming someone else isn't of a like mind and beats me to it, I'm in.

[Baron]

I think many of us are of a like mind; that's why we all hang out here.  Best assume Mandle or Blondbraid have already started writing your story: your only hope is to beat them to it!

[kconan]

I think many of us are of a like mind...

Oh, really?  Are we of like mind?!  Who's mind do you really have?  I'm on to you Baron, or should I say "Baron".  Read on sheeple, because I've just lit the fuse for a one megaton TRUTH BOMB! 



Who is the REAL Baron!??!!??  I promise this is bigger than that Round-Earth conspiracy theory!  See below for irrefutable evidence!

Baron wants the AGS masses to think that he is this seemingly nice guy who very often wins AGS writing comps (RIGGED!  FALSE FLAG!) and is a talented gamemaker.  BUT... Isn't that just what he wants you to believe?  Wouldn't that be convenient, wouldn't that be a perfect cover?!!??  How cozy!  Join me, be a Baron truther!  Full disclosure, I make no money from this at all!  Except for my books Beware-In Baron and BARON: Infamous Infamy (available at www.crackpotmerch.realtruth.org and gun shows in Mississippi), speech engagements, kickbacks from Alex Jones, and the various donations from you people, my followers who know the real TRUTH.


AND don't take these allegations from me fellow truthers, take it from…Mr. FILTHY LIAR HIMSELF!

Well, I know I said this game was going to be done in September.  And then November.  And then January...I guess I'm just a filthy, filthy liar!!

Don't let the trivial things like context distract you fellow Truthers!


Exhibit A!  According to a random website (http://pigeonsandplanes.com/news/2015/03/tidalforall) the Illuminati conference is on March 29th.  Baron very rarely posts on that date.  Why??!!  It can only mean that he is front and center at the Illuminati meeting!  What is he doing there?!  Perhaps updating the lizard overlords on what the regular humans are doing!  Google search “Baron” and “Lizard”, and you will notice there isn't zero results!  ALSO, I've personally seen no evidence that disputes the notion that Baron could actually be a lizard person himself.




Wake up sheeple!  Just look at Baron's personal text in his profile, wouldn't someone actually evil claim to be “not-so-evil”.  We get it Baron, thou protests too much!  I bet you would say that you don't regularly check-in and update your Lizard masters, which is exactly what someone who regularly checks-in and updates lizard masters would say!


Is he a ruthless dictator in-waiting? 

The Game of Diplomacy…Sure I could back-stab people online, but it's just not the same as looking your erstwhile ally in the face and doing it.

Sure sounds like it!  AND, it seems some form of crude currency has already been created so he can hit the ground running after the takeover of his New World Order.  He also eagerly played the forum game King Simulator and “roleplayed” as a ruthless tyrant!


Is Baron moral?  Here he outright refuses to take a morality test!

Spoiler

I can't help but feel that there are better places online to have a human super orgasm

[close]

What's the matter Baron?  Afraid the World will see the results?!


Is he a boob expert?

The plot and characters for this game are very unique â€"I look forward to playing the finished game.
One minor point â€"not that I'm a boob expert or anything…

Maybe.  Maybe not.  Kind of unrelated actually.  Anyway, further onward to the TRUTH fellow Truthers!


What about AGS gaming, does he have our best interest in mind?

...Some ideas:
          REDACTED
          DEATH PANEL
          REDACTED

WHAT KIND OF MONSTER WANTS AN AGS DEATH PANEL?!


OR AGS Art?

What happens to a game sprite when she gets hooked on Crystal Meth, you ask?

WHAT KIND OF MONSTER GIVES METH TO A SPRITE?!


Back to the lizard overlords.

Aha!  The internet was down at work today!  IT BEGINS!!!!!!  Well, it was back up within the hour, but hey even the stock market bounces back a bit during a financial crash.  Also my truck made a funny noise on the way home.  Either it's starting to turn against me and the armaggeddon is nigh, or I might have hit a squirrel.

So Baron, or “Baron”, is this code to prepare your small AGS cabal (the others you are in cahoots with) for something to possibly happen?!!   The lizard takeover plan hinges on roadkill?!


I know what you are saying fellow truther, I mean possibly aside from that I'm a deranged paranoid kook, YOU are saying “What about Baron's games?”  But KConan (AKA Truthspouter Prime), he has a very impressive body of work.  You know what I say?  Ok true, but what about his BRAINWASHING Simulator!!!?

Last year I started a treeplanting simulator which was meant to train people...
REDACTED

Spacebar is plant/unplant, Enter is pause (for food/drink)

PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD UNPLANT-AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!  GET OUT OF MY HEAD!


Speaking of mesmerizing, here he uses a more subtle persuasion method via a “harmless” photo of his kitchen counter:

I used to be like you, toiling in my own filth, until I lost my back office.  Now I do all my work at the kitchen counter...

Do you see it?  On top of that sweet butcher block countertop there is a computer, looking at a photo of another computer presumably looking at a photo of another computer which is also presumably looking at-AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!  GET OUT OF MY HEAD BARON YOU HEAD GETTER-INNER!


And then, fellow TRUTHERS, there is one of Baron's lesser known and seemingly innocent pixel art characters:

On the surface he's so cute…so innocent…hehe, look at that little guy…BUT NOT SO FAST!  I have it on good authority that this is the blueprint for an army of mutated banana men soldier-clones!  Google Search “Banana man” Wait, stop, NSFW!  Just go check with Alex Jones on the stuff that they (meaning BARON and his ilk; trace the ilk people!) are putting in the water which turns frogs gay and people into banana men.  Brother Alex will learn you!  The truth is out there.


Education?  What?!

Balmy +2 Celsius.  Marked latest midterms from first year (read freshman in USspeak) geomorphology class -rare excitement indeed...

This sounds like fact-based science, there is no room for that Baron - you elitist!



Follow the money sheeple!  Trace the tail of the snake all the way to the head!  The real truth,
the one they don't want you to believe, is out there!


-KConan AKA TRUTHSPOUTER PRIME signing off

[kconan]

Redacted.

[Ponch]

Just want to mention to whomever deleted my entry, I did get approval beforehand.  I wouldn't have written that without Baron signing off on the idea.

WTF?! That was one of the funniest things I've read in the FWC in years. High quality Art Bell or Alex Jones stuff. I can't believe it got deleted. Good stuff. Who doesn't love a good parody?

[Baron]

Entry?  What entry? 

[kconan]

So it is confirmed.  The mods are lizard people!?  It's a conspiracy at the highest levels!

[Baron]

Calm down there, people.  You're making a mountain out of an invisible, non-existent, hallucinogenic-induced molehill.  Let's everybody just go back about their business like this whole thing never happened.

[Ponch]

The lizard people have gotten to Baron! Only water filters can save us now!

[Baron]

Despite the constant negative press covfefe.

[Ponch]

What would a Canadian know about covfefe? Go back to your nanaimo and poutine! Leave covfefe to the country that (possibly) invented it.

[Baron]

You might have maybe invented covfefe, but it perhaps probably is the world's word now!  Look at the glitzy neologisms on my lips, not the happily flashing red button under my finger.  You're not formenly the mantric covfefe!

[Ponch]

So does anyone else have a story they're working on? Or are they all disappearing mysteriously?

[Frodo]

Redacted.

Your story was hilarious, I loved it! 

Can't believe it got deleted. 

Unless... it wasn't really deleted.  It's really still there, honest.  You just have to look for it, to see the truth. 

[kconan]

Unless... it wasn't really deleted...You just have to look for it, to see the truth. 

No worries, its merely a ding in my tinfoil hat!

[Frodo]

Alternative Truth

You want the truth?  You REALLY want the truth? 

Okay.  Here goes. 


*clears throat*


You think you're reading this post?

You think you're scrolling up and down? 

You think you're tapping your foot along to your favourite music?


YOU'RE NOT!!!   


50 years ago, apolyptic devastation wiped out all life on earth.  There's nothing left but a barren wasteland.

Five years ago, tiny minute particles of micro-organisms began to form. 




Hundreds of miles below the earth's surface... they are there...  growing... multiplying

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...


Two years ago, those tiny micro organism particle began to become sentient.  Began thinking. 

They began to wonder... 'What If...'

And soon, their tiny minds began creating some wondrous worlds.  Inside their minds, they could go anywhere, be anything. 



Today, you are not really here.

You are a figment created by the mind of one of those tiny micro-organism particles, hidden hundreds of miles under the earth. 

[Baron]

Another figment created by the collective consciousness of deep-earth micro-organisms is the competition deadline looming just a week from now.   Since you have only the illusion of free will, they've already decided that you will be participating.  Yes, you.  And you, too.  But not YOU!  No, they think it will be more amusing for YOU to think of entering, and then succumb to the false temptation of fictional real-life relationships and hypothetical obligations like work and sleep.  Further, your guilt will entertain them more when YOU suddenly perceive an imaginary purple growth at the end of your nose in the shape of an anglerfish's proboscis.

[MiteWiseacreLives!]

I will be watching this thread 

[Baron]

As a participant, or over a purple growth at the tip of your nose?

[MiteWiseacreLives!]

I'd appreciate it if you didn't stare at my proboscis, Baron...

[Ponch]

My entry into the FWC: The latest issue of AGS Today!

[imgzoom]http://www.barnrunner.com/pics/misc/AGS_Today_10.png[/imgzoom]

[Baron]

I don't think Grundislav is a very reliable informant while he's being anonymous.

Two more days, folks!  Keep those entries coming!

[Mandle]

Ponch, I hope you realize what kind of can of worms you have opened, shee!

Peder has hired a hit out on you for tryin' to muscle in, shee?!

[Ponch]

Baron: Grundy's identity was only outed due to shoddy journalism. What I find more disturbing was the revelation that he's saving up enough money to buy a 3/4 scale RealDoll of himself. Goodness!

Mandle: I've been putting out issues of AGS Today for years and years. Here's one from 2011: http://www.barnrunner.com/pics/misc/AGS_Today_6.png  If anything, Peder is stealing from me!

[Sinitrena]

I'm working on something but I'm not sure I'll finish before the deadline. A small extansion would be nice.

[Baron]

I don't know about extensions, but I am open to Alternative Deadlines.  How about Monday night?

[Blondbraid]

I was thinking of writing an entry, but I simply haven't been able to come up with any good ideas,
since no matter how preposterous or weird thing I would make up, someone out there is already beleving
an even more bizarre version of it.

Just to give you a real-life example, the husband of my mother's aunt honestly believed that
The Entire Vietnam War was a lie cooked up by Soviet propaganda in order to
spread anti-american sentiment in the eastern bloc.

(In his defense, he lived in Czechoslovakia back when Czechoslovakia was still a thing, but still, he believed that an entire war was made up...)

[Baron]

I believe you are making that up.

[Ponch]

I believe him! Just as soon as I get these Alex Jones water filters installed, I'm going to subscribe to Blondbraid's newsletter!

[Sinitrena]

I guess I didn't need an alternate deadline. Who would ever believe such a rumor?

I'm not entirely happy with it but I don't feel like working on it either. Some stories just don't work out. I wanted to enter it nonetheless.

----------------------------------------------------

Thoughts are Free

“Sir, is it possible for there to be more than one truth?” the boy asked with eager big eyes, so ready to be filled with all the knowledge in the universe.

His teacher, the old master who had already taught his father, always looked friendly at the child, but now an unknown darkness crept into his smile. “How could there be more than one truth? Truth is truth, and nothing else. And if there is ever any doubt, the government would find the truth.”

“Of course, Sir,” the boy said, accepting the words of his teacher without outward sign of doubt.

But the old master was not unused to pupils agreeing without understanding and he put his finger under the boy's chin and gently pressed his head up. “Did anyone tell you that there is more than one truth?”

The boy shook his head. He also chewed his lower lip. A short, indulgent laugh escaped the mouth of the teacher. Everyone knew when the child lied.

“Sometimes people believe things that are not true. Sometimes they think different opinions are different truths. But there can ever only be one truth. Do you understand?”

Shyly, the boy shook his head and the old man sighed. Maybe the boy was still too young.

“Look,” he tried to explain, “once upon a time, people believed that the earth was round. They wrote books, describing how that made more sense than a flat earth. They explained their theory with things that they thought were prove. And for a while, people believed them, even though it doesn't make sense. When you look around, it is easy to see that the world in general is flat, except for hills and mountains, of course. But people believed it, ignoring the knowledge of their ancestors. That they believed it, that doesn't make it true. Do you understand?”

The boy nodded, and the teacher smiled satisfied. But the thoughts of the boy were racing and while the teacher started to discuss another topic, the boy suddenly asked: “Is it forbidden to think the earth is round?”

“Forbidden? Thoughts are free. - Now please concentrate. What is three times four?”

*

When you argue, you always believe to be right. How else can you properly support your argument? The boy followed this rule without really understanding that it even existed. He fought with his sister, he fought with his parents and sometimes he fought with his friends, like all children do from time to time. He always believed that he was right and they were wrong and that they only had to learn the truth and then they would acknowledge it and apologize to him.

Strangely enough, they never did. They, too, believed that they were right.

His parents were not happy. As a child who always believed to be right, he was a nuisance.

“There is just one truth!” the boy shouted when they tried to discipline him. “You can't order me to think what you think!”

It were empty words of an unworldly child. The parents didn't realize that just two things an old teacher had taught him years ago had stuck with him: that there is only one truth and that people believed a long time ago that the earth was round.

And so the boy learned to keep to himself and read because it was easier than to argue. After all no-one seemed to accept that he was right.

*

His sister studied at the university. She talked a lot about freedom: freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of religion â€" freedom to think. He listened, but he was still too young.

“You have to learn to lie in this world,” she said, “otherwise you'll get arrested. For a different opinion, of all things. We're supposed to be free.”

“We are,” their father said dismissively and puffed his cigar. “You're thoughts are free.”

“What good is it when the thoughts are free but the body not? When the mouth is not? When I'm not allowed to say what I want, believe what I want?”

“There is nothing to believe,” her mother said gently. “There is only ever one truth.”

The young woman snorted. “As I said, I'd have to learn to lie. It's the only way to survive, isn't it?”

“Once, there was no objective truth, only subjective truth. Until everyone agreed on one truth and now we only learn this truth. There's nothing bad about this.” The mother did not understand her daughter's problem.

As a matter of fact, she understood neither of their children. The one didn't realize that he was sometimes mistaken and the other honestly believed that what she should know to be true wasn't. She shook her head.

“You can think what you want,” the father continued were his wife had left off, “you can say what you want. Your thoughts are free,, after all. Just don't expect anyone to think much of you. They'll just think you're stupid.” A little too late he added: “And we know you're not.”

The sister sighed overly dramatically and threw her hands up in the air. “There's no sense in arguing with you, is there? You just don't understand, do you? Just because someone says something is true doesn't make it so!” With that, she stormed out of the room.

The boy, who had listened silently until now, followed his sister.

“Wait!” he called after her and ran when she didn't stop.

He found her in the garden where she drew numbers into the sand with a stick.

“It does matter what I think,” she grumbled to herself, “It does matter when there are thing we simply cannot know. One truth, as if there can ever be just one truth.”

The boy stood behind her and watched her. He wasn't entirely sure what she had actually argued about but he felt she would at least entertain the thought that the earth was round. After all, a round earth was more exciting than the boring flat one everyone knew. Of course, he didn't realize that it stayed the same boring earth no matter what.

“It does matter when the official truth is wrong. It does matter when believing something else makes you an outsider. It does matter!” She threw her short stick onto the ground.

“Is the earth round?” the boy asked out of the blue. He hadn't learned yet how to broach a subject.

Understandably, his sister was confused and not in the best mood to begin with. “What? Don't be stupid. That's ridiculous. Everybody knows that the earth is flat. There's no reason to even think about this.”

“But... but...” the boy stuttered, “I thought you said -”

She interrupted him, standing up: “I was talking about important things. Who cares what the earth looks like? Ideology, freedom, the right to learn what one wants to learn. Important things. Don't bother me. You don't understand anyway.”

She was right. He didn't understand.

----------------------------------------

The title comes from a German song: Die Gedanken sind frei (Wikipedia - with english lyrics)

[Baron]

Nice.  Anyone else working on something?  I hinted at an alternative deadline, but if this is everyone we might as well wrap things up on time.  Post an update in the next 24 hours if you need until Monday; otherwise we'll start the voting tomorrow.

[Frodo]

... otherwise we'll start the voting tomorrow.

But which tomorrow is that?  Tomorrow's tomorrow, or the OTHER tomorrow? 

[Mandle]

The Scent Of Victory

I walked into the family reunion as a complete stranger but, of course, everyone knew me.

After some awkward socializing with people I had never laid eyes on before, "Uncle Phil" approached me, pumped my hand up and down at least thrice with a fake smile on his face, and then dragged me to a corner by his grip.

"I'm guessing you've heard of the Mandela Effect?" he whispered in my ear, his breath reeking of vodka and vermouth, with an undercurrent of olives... Ahhh, "Uncle Phil" was a Bond martini man apparently.

"I tagged you as a Skipper the moment you walked in" he continued, "But now I must know which sides of the multiverse coins you flipped in from. What sides of the wars do you align with?"

He pulled me closer and pressed a knife to my ribs as we both smiled politely at a passing "relative".

I told him "I come from where Mickey wears suspenders."

He replied "Excellent... But does the Ford logo have a piggy-tail F or not?"

I said "Of course not."

I felt the pinpoint pressure of the knife on my ribcage ease off slightly.

He asked "Does Dolly have braces?"

I told him "As a Bond fan, which I suspect you are, you should already know that she does not."

A waiter approached, holding a tray of drinks, but we waved him away as I felt the knife relax further in "Uncle Phil"'s hand.

"Okay", said "Uncle Phil"... "I can tell that you come from our sides of the coins... Now, our next missio..."

I seized the moment and the knife from his hand, reversed it, and slid it cleanly between his ribs.

As he started to slump in my arms I whispered into his ear "I also happen to come from where vodka has no smell."

[Baron]

See, this is why we can't  be too quick to close these competitions.

I'll leave it open one more day.  Voting tomorrow: I promise!

[Baron]

...And that's a wrap folks.  We have five alternative entries to vote on:

Truth Bomb by kconan
You Really Want the Truth? by Frodo
AGS Today Vol.69 Issue 8008135 by Ponch
Thoughts Are Free by Sinitrena
The Scent of Victory by Mandle

Voting will be by the following categories.  Given the number of extremely meritorious entries (and kconan's) there will be a maximum of two votes per category.  Your categories are:

Best Alternative Truth
Best Alternative Truth Spouter (or best character)
Best Alternative to a Plot
Best Alternative Writing (think 90s grunge lyrics )
Best Alternative Thought Provokingness  Which entry really made you think a bit?

There are going to be some seriously glitzy faux-hairpiece trophies, so make sure you are generous with your votes for the entries you liked the best.  (You could also throw a vote or two to kconan so he doesn't feel bad. )  Voting goes for three days and will tabulated at some point on Friday June 23.  Good luck to all participants!

[Frodo]

Some brilliant entries. 

Here's my votes:


BEST ALTERNATIVE TRUTH:  KConan.  His whole 'Baron conspiracy theory' made me laugh so hard!   

BEST ALTERNATIVE TRUTH SPOUTER:  Mandle.  For lulling Uncle Phil into a false sense of secuity, until he could kill him. 

BEST ALTERNATIVE TO A PLOT:  Kconan.  Beware of the Lizard People! 

BEST ALTERNATIVE WRITING:   Ponch.  Love his newspaper-style articles.

BEST ALTERNATIVE THOUGHT PROVOKINGNESS:  Sinitrena.  I felt sorry for the boy, trying to make sense of the world, when there is more than one truth. 

[Sinitrena]

Best Alternative Truth: Frodo - I love the idea of dreaming micro-organisms. I have to ask though, was this intentional?:

There's nothing left but a baron wasteland.

If not, then you want "barren". Unless there's a meaning of the word baron I'm not aware of.

Best Alternative Truth Spouter (or best character): kconan - This story sounds very much like the ramblings of a conspiracy theorist, so kudos for that.

Best Alternative to a Plot: Ponch - For the work that went into the layout. But I really wanted to read the rest of the main article. Wh not show us the whole front page?

Best Alternative Writing: kconan - Either kconan put a lot of time into looking through Baron's old posts or he knows Baron's post way too well off the top of his head. Are you cyber-stalking Baron, kconan? Be honest, it's just between us.

Best Alternative Thought Provokingness: Mandle - It made me think, certainly, probably because it left out a lot of information of what is going on.

[Frodo]

Best Alternative Truth: Frodo - I love the idea of dreaming micro-organisms. I have to ask though, was this intentional?:

There's nothing left but a baron wasteland.

If not, then you want "barren". Unless there's a meaning of the word baron I'm not aware of.

Ack, that's Baron's fault - he got inside my head and MADE me type that. 

Well spotted though.  Fixed. 

[Mandle]

Mandle - It made me think, certainly, probably because it left out a lot of information of what is going on.

Yeah, you kind of have to know a bit about The Mandela Effect to understand what the characters are talking about, but I didn't want to throw in a bunch of clumsy exposition. I just hoped that people who got it could enjoy the brief scene and "twist" at the end.

But yeah, a weakness for sure.

[kconan]

Either kconan put a lot of time into looking through Baron's old posts or he knows Baron's post way too well off the top of his head. Are you cyber-stalking Baron, kconan? Be honest, it's just between us.

Oh it felt weird at various points, lots of skimming and reading old posts...I'll release a brief "making of" after the comp.


Best Alternative Truth: Frodo's sentient being works along with his paranoid delivery.

Best Alternative Truth Spouter: Mandle, as his character's ruse works.

Best Alternative to a Plot: Ponch's newspaper.

Best Alternative Writing: Sinitrena, as I like the idea of kids debating "what is truth?" and trying to wrap their head around it when we usually have adults either debating or spouting mis-truths.

Best Alternative Thought Provokingness: Sinitrena takes this category because her entry got me thinking about kids wondering if facts or truths are really supposed to be a hazy and imprecise thing, and if they understand how bias comes into play.  Also, I went down a dark mental rabbit hole of how the current "facts don't matter" environment will affect our kids now and future generations.

[Ponch]

Best Alternative Truth: Mandle
Best Alternative Truth Spouter: Kconan
Best Alternative to a Plot: Sinitrena
Best Alternative Writing: Kconan
Best Alternative Thought Provokingness: Frodo

[Mandle]

I'm going to vote tonight after work, so please keep voting open for a bit longer!

I want to give comments on my votes and need a bit more time later on to do so.

[Mandle]

Best Alternative Truth: Ponch (comment redacted)
Best Alternative Truth Spouter: Sinitrena (comment redacted)
Best Alternative to a Plot: Frodo (comment redacted)
Best Alternative Writing: Sinitrena (comment redacted)
Best Alternative Thought Provokingness: Kconan (comment redacted)

[Baron]

And voting is now closed.  Except for the hanging chad variety, which will dangle over the results indefinitely.   I think I can say, without even a hint of hubris, that this was the best writing competition in the history of ever.   If you don't believe me then you're obviously a commie spy who enjoys clubbing your own fuzzy animals to make ostentatious fur coats.   But let's step away from the truth for a bit and stray in to the soft quagmire of facts for a moment.  The fact is that we have a bunch of votes, some of which might have been cast by legitimate AGSers.  Not to cast doubt on the process, but I forgot to check the papers of everyone who showed up to the polls, so the whole thing was probably rigged anyway.   But whatever, these are the results we've got, and I'm too tired to tamper with them any more than I already have, so let's just call it a day and go watch some boxing.

Winning the Golden Hairpiece of Alternative Wisdom with an alarming 7 votes is the thoroughly discredited reprobate kconan of Outer Moldavia.  Clearly his Bat-Boy-esque good looks charmed the electorate, distracting them from his track record of yellow journalism and blatant character assassinations.  Well done, sir!

Winning the Silver Hairpiece of Probably Would Have Won If The Other Side Weren't A Bunch Of Cheating Scum with an almost-too-close-to-call 6 votes is the virtuous and beautiful Sinitrena.  We can only hope that in the balance of time the courts will exercise their benign tyranny and restore her to her true place as reigning queen of the FWC.

Winning the Bronze Hairpiece of Third Party Wilderness is Frodo and Mandle.  Ponch would have shared in the glory too if he could have resisted using the T-word in his entry, so he was docked one vote as per the constitution, that revered document in the OP that I will unswervingly uphold as long as it seems to support my agenda.  Excellent writing all around!

And so here is the point in the process where I'm supposed to step down gracefully to make way for the new guy.  Unfortunately, I regret to inform you that I am hereby unilaterally suspending the FWC constitution by appointing myself president for life.  My lizard-people minions will inform you of the details with the ends of their whips and halberds.  BUWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

[Frodo]

Winning the Bronze Hairpiece of Third Party Wilderness is Frodo and Mandle.  [/img]

Bronze hairpieces are all the rage, don't you know! 

[Mandle]

Winning the Bronze Hairpiece of Third Party Wilderness is Frodo and Mandle.  [/img]

Bronze hairpieces are all the rage, don't you know! 

Bronze is the new gold!

[Ponch]

Winning the Bronze Hairpiece of Third Party Wilderness is Frodo and Mandle.  [/img]

Bronze hairpieces are all the rage, don't you know! 

Bronze is the new gold!

Indeed it is!

[Baron]

Asterix!  No, no, no, no....  I think not.   How about:

[Ponch]

Asterix!  No, no, no, no....  I think not.   How about:

You changed the requirements after I submitted my entry. I changed the conditions necessary for winning a trophy after you declared the winners.

I humbly accept my third and a half place trophy and congratulate the other winners.

[Baron]

Asterix!  No, no, no, no....  I think not.   How about:

You changed the requirements after I submitted my entry. I changed the conditions necessary for winning a trophy after you declared the winners.

I humbly accept my third and a half place trophy and congratulate the other winners.

You're misconstruing the facts after I rightfully misconstrued them first!   We'll just have to let the lizard-people minions sort this all out with their scythes of judgement....

[kconan]

  So I spent roughly 45 minutes to an hour skimming the back half of Baron's non-Swarm, non-forum game, and non-"I like the cut of your jib, yous got moxie kid"-newbie thread posts and would jot down the post number for later review when something caught my eye.  Skimming/reading I chuckled often, and occasionally had a deep thought or two.  There is only one big deleted scene:  I took some itinerary Baron had posted and really "truthed" it up...but then I saw it had some personal stuff on there and so it went to the cutting room floor.  I was going to use the Dung Shoveler game, and then I stumbled across Baron's Tree Planting Simulator like an old prospector striking a large vein of gold.

  Anyways...Fun round!  Congrats to Sinitrena, and the vast multitudes of bronze hairpiece recipients.  I'll start a new comp in a few days.

[Baron]

While I'm still disappointed that you didn't take me to task over my refusal to climb the learning curve for Al-Quest 1, I still thought it was a hilarious idea.  I look forward to my next opportunity for vengeance the next competition!

[kconan]

  Before I put up the next comp, I want to know...Have we done the Faustian bargain as a theme before?  Basically. something like a literal or figurative deal with the Devil?  It feels familiar, though I couldn't find anything from searching previous comps on the forums.

[Sinitrena]

First of all, congratulations kconan, that was an amazing "story".

Second, I don't think we ever had deals with the devil as a topic before, as far as I remember. I could be mistaken, of course, but I know for a fact that I never entered this topic.

[Baron]

I can't see anything in my records for the last 5 years.  Go for it!