Fortnightly Writing Competition - ALTERNATIVE TRUTH (Results)

Started by Baron, Sat 03/06/2017 05:00:38

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Baron

This isn't a writing competition, it's a word fight!  Or maybe it is a competition.... it depends on your point of view, I guess.  Some people see things one way, one might say the "correct" way, while others see things differently, one might say the "bafflingly, inexplicably wrongheaded and moronic" way.  But both perspectives have merit in the era of...

Alternative Truth


Your writing challenge for the next two weeks is to create a story featuring a distinctly unconventional, far-fetched, or laughably idiotic perspective.  To make it work I would think you'd have to write about something with facts that everyone can agree on and then warp the meaning of those facts, but then that's just my own weirdo opinion.  One bonus vote will be awarded for every entry that does not mention The Donald by name. (roll)   Deadline will be when it's no longer Saturday June 17, 2017 anywhere on Earth.  Possible voting categories might include:

Best Alternative Truth
Best Alternative Truth Spouter
Best Alternative to a Plot
Best Alternative Writing
Best Alternative Thought Provokingness

Good luck to all participants!

kconan

  Great theme! I've got an idea for this one...Assuming someone else isn't of a like mind and beats me to it, I'm in.

Baron

I think many of us are of a like mind; that's why we all hang out here.  Best assume Mandle or Blondbraid have already started writing your story: your only hope is to beat them to it! :=

kconan

Quote from: Baron on Mon 05/06/2017 02:12:23
I think many of us are of a like mind...

Oh, really?  Are we of like mind?!  Who's mind do you really have?  I'm on to you Baron, or should I say "Baron".  Read on sheeple, because I've just lit the fuse for a one megaton TRUTH BOMB



Who is the REAL Baron!??!!??  I promise this is bigger than that Round-Earth conspiracy theory!  See below for irrefutable evidence!

Baron wants the AGS masses to think that he is this seemingly nice guy who very often wins AGS writing comps (RIGGED!  FALSE FLAG!) and is a talented gamemaker.  BUT... Isn't that just what he wants you to believe?  Wouldn't that be convenient, wouldn't that be a perfect cover?!!??  How cozy!  Join me, be a Baron truther!  Full disclosure, I make no money from this at all!  Except for my books Beware-In Baron and BARON: Infamous Infamy (available at www.crackpotmerch.realtruth.org and gun shows in Mississippi), speech engagements, kickbacks from Alex Jones, and the various donations from you people, my followers who know the real TRUTH.


AND don't take these allegations from me fellow truthers, take it from…Mr. FILTHY LIAR HIMSELF!
Quote from: Baron on Mon 18/04/2005 03:51:20
Well, I know I said this game was going to be done in September.  And then November.  And then January...I guess I'm just a filthy, filthy liar!!

Don't let the trivial things like context distract you fellow Truthers!


Exhibit A!  According to a random website (http://pigeonsandplanes.com/news/2015/03/tidalforall) the Illuminati conference is on March 29th.  Baron very rarely posts on that date.  Why??!!  It can only mean that he is front and center at the Illuminati meeting!  What is he doing there?!  Perhaps updating the lizard overlords on what the regular humans are doing!  Google search “Baron” and “Lizard”, and you will notice there isn't zero results!  ALSO, I've personally seen no evidence that disputes the notion that Baron could actually be a lizard person himself.




Wake up sheeple!  Just look at Baron's personal text in his profile, wouldn't someone actually evil claim to be “not-so-evil”.  We get it Baron, thou protests too much!  I bet you would say that you don't regularly check-in and update your Lizard masters, which is exactly what someone who regularly checks-in and updates lizard masters would say!


Is he a ruthless dictator in-waiting? 
Quote from: Baron on Tue 25/09/2007 04:03:34
The Game of Diplomacy…Sure I could back-stab people online, but it's just not the same as looking your erstwhile ally in the face and doing it.
Sure sounds like it!  AND, it seems some form of crude currency has already been created so he can hit the ground running after the takeover of his New World Order.  He also eagerly played the forum game King Simulator and “roleplayed” as a ruthless tyrant!


Is Baron moral?  Here he outright refuses to take a morality test!
Quote from: Baron on Fri 18/11/2011 03:38:36
Spoiler
I can't help but feel that there are better places online to have a human super orgasm
[close]
What's the matter Baron?  Afraid the World will see the results?!


Is he a boob expert?
Quote from: Baron on Tue 25/09/2007 04:03:34
The plot and characters for this game are very unique â€"I look forward to playing the finished game.
One minor point â€"
not that I'm a boob expert or anything…
Maybe.  Maybe not.  Kind of unrelated actually.  Anyway, further onward to the TRUTH fellow Truthers!


What about AGS gaming, does he have our best interest in mind?
Quote from: Baron on Tue 19/10/2010 03:15:59
...Some ideas:
          REDACTED
          DEATH PANEL
          REDACTED
WHAT KIND OF MONSTER WANTS AN AGS DEATH PANEL?!


OR AGS Art?
Quote from: Baron on Sun 17/12/2006 17:24:37
What happens to a game sprite when she gets hooked on Crystal Meth, you ask?

WHAT KIND OF MONSTER GIVES METH TO A SPRITE?!


Back to the lizard overlords.
Quote from: Baron on Wed 20/04/2011 23:17:32
Aha!  The internet was down at work today!  IT BEGINS!!!!!!  Well, it was back up within the hour, but hey even the stock market bounces back a bit during a financial crash.  Also my truck made a funny noise on the way home.  Either it's starting to turn against me and the armaggeddon is nigh, or I might have hit a squirrel.
So Baron, or “Baron”, is this code to prepare your small AGS cabal (the others you are in cahoots with) for something to possibly happen?!!   The lizard takeover plan hinges on roadkill?!


I know what you are saying fellow truther, I mean possibly aside from that I'm a deranged paranoid kook, YOU are saying “What about Baron's games?”  But KConan (AKA Truthspouter Prime), he has a very impressive body of work.  You know what I say?  Ok true, but what about his BRAINWASHING Simulator!!!????
Quote from: Baron on Wed 28/02/2007 17:36:35
Last year I started a treeplanting simulator which was meant to train people...
REDACTED

Spacebar is plant/unplant, Enter is pause (for food/drink)
PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD PLANT PLANT FOOD UNPLANT-AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!  GET OUT OF MY HEAD!


Speaking of mesmerizing, here he uses a more subtle persuasion method via a “harmless” photo of his kitchen counter:
Quote from: Baron on Wed 14/11/2012 02:29:03
I used to be like you, toiling in my own filth, until I lost my back office.  Now I do all my work at the kitchen counter...

Do you see it?  On top of that sweet butcher block countertop there is a computer, looking at a photo of another computer presumably looking at a photo of another computer which is also presumably looking at-AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!  GET OUT OF MY HEAD BARON YOU HEAD GETTER-INNER!


And then, fellow TRUTHERS, there is one of Baron's lesser known and seemingly innocent pixel art characters:

On the surface he's so cute…so innocent…hehe, look at that little guy…BUT NOT SO FAST!  I have it on good authority that this is the blueprint for an army of mutated banana men soldier-clones!  Google Search “Banana man” Wait, stop, NSFW!  Just go check with Alex Jones on the stuff that they (meaning BARON and his ilk; trace the ilk people!) are putting in the water which turns frogs gay and people into banana men.  Brother Alex will learn you!  The truth is out there.


Education?  What?!
Quote from: Baron on Sat 20/03/2004 05:15:41
Balmy +2 Celsius.  Marked latest midterms from first year (read freshman in USspeak) geomorphology class -rare excitement indeed...
This sounds like fact-based science, there is no room for that Baron - you elitist!



Follow the money sheeple!  Trace the tail of the snake all the way to the head!  The real truth,
the one they don't want you to believe, is out there!



-KConan AKA TRUTHSPOUTER PRIME signing off


kconan


Ponch

Quote from: kconan on Fri 09/06/2017 03:19:11
Just want to mention to whomever deleted my entry, I did get approval beforehand.  I wouldn't have written that without Baron signing off on the idea.
WTF?! That was one of the funniest things I've read in the FWC in years. High quality Art Bell or Alex Jones stuff. I can't believe it got deleted. Good stuff. Who doesn't love a good parody? :sad:

Baron


kconan

So it is confirmed.  The mods are lizard people!?  It's a conspiracy at the highest levels!

Baron

Calm down there, people.  You're making a mountain out of an invisible, non-existent, hallucinogenic-induced molehill.  Let's everybody just go back about their business like this whole thing never happened. 8-)

Ponch

The lizard people have gotten to Baron! Only water filters can save us now! :shocked:

Baron


Ponch

What would a Canadian know about covfefe? Go back to your nanaimo and poutine! Leave covfefe to the country that (possibly) invented it. (wrong)

Baron

You might have maybe invented covfefe, but it perhaps probably is the world's word now!  Look at the glitzy neologisms on my lips, not the happily flashing red button under my finger.  You're not formenly the mantric covfefe! :P

Ponch



So does anyone else have a story they're working on? Or are they all disappearing mysteriously?

Frodo

Quote from: kconan on Fri 09/06/2017 03:19:11
Redacted.

Your story was hilarious, I loved it!  :grin:

Can't believe it got deleted.  :cry:

Unless... it wasn't really deleted.  It's really still there, honest.  You just have to look for it, to see the truth.  :tongue:

kconan

Quote from: Frodo on Fri 09/06/2017 11:23:01
Unless... it wasn't really deleted...You just have to look for it, to see the truth.  :tongue:

No worries, its merely a ding in my tinfoil hat!

Frodo

QuoteAlternative Truth

You want the truth?  You REALLY want the truth?  :confused:

Okay.  Here goes. 


*clears throat*


You think you're reading this post?

You think you're scrolling up and down? 

You think you're tapping your foot along to your favourite music?


YOU'RE NOT!!!   :shocked:


50 years ago, apolyptic devastation wiped out all life on earth.  There's nothing left but a barren wasteland.

Five years ago, tiny minute particles of micro-organisms began to form. 




Hundreds of miles below the earth's surface... they are there...  growing... multiplying

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...


Two years ago, those tiny micro organism particle began to become sentient.  Began thinking. 

They began to wonder... 'What If...'

And soon, their tiny minds began creating some wondrous worlds.  Inside their minds, they could go anywhere, be anything. 



Today, you are not really here.

You are a figment created by the mind of one of those tiny micro-organism particles, hidden hundreds of miles under the earth. 


Baron

Another figment created by the collective consciousness of deep-earth micro-organisms is the competition deadline looming just a week from now. :)  Since you have only the illusion of free will, they've already decided that you will be participating.  Yes, you.  And you, too.  But not YOU!  No, they think it will be more amusing for YOU to think of entering, and then succumb to the false temptation of fictional real-life relationships and hypothetical obligations like work and sleep.  Further, your guilt will entertain them more when YOU suddenly perceive an imaginary purple growth at the end of your nose in the shape of an anglerfish's proboscis. :P

MiteWiseacreLives!


Baron

As a participant, or over a purple growth at the tip of your nose? ;)

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