Author Topic: Fortnightly Writing Competition: SECOND CHANCE! (Results)  (Read 1647 times)

kconan

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Re: Fortnightly Writing Competition: SECOND CHANCE! (Voting)
« Reply #40 on: 18 Nov 2017, 19:43 »
Best Character: JudasFM for Stephanie
Best Plot: WHAM
Best World: Rocchinator
Best Style: Baron
Best Use of the Original Topic: Baron

Whodunit Speculation...The Dame!

Sinitrena

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Re: Fortnightly Writing Competition: SECOND CHANCE! (Results)
« Reply #41 on: 20 Nov 2017, 14:40 »
My votes:

Best Character: JudasFm's Stephanie, Goddess of Cheese
Best Plot: WHAM
Best World: JudasFm's Nemesis
Best Style: WHAM
Best Use of the Original Topic: Baron


And with that, voting is closed and the results are here:


Baron wins first place and the golden trophy of fighting idols with his entry for the Whodunnit! topic and 9 points. I must say, I found it incredibly difficult to vote for this story, simply because I can't say how good I think the characters are or how well crafted the plot is. The solution of a whodunnit is so essential to judge these aspects. Still, it is without a doubt a well-written story and I liked the language-challanged Priscilla. Now, if my speculation is right and the wife and assistant commited the murder together, I have to wonder why they would seek out an detective?


The second place, with 6 points, goes to WHAM for an incredibaly haunting story. It leaves exactly the right amount of mystery, explains exactly what needs explaining without breaking the mystery. In short, the perfect story for halloween and what I had in mind when I sat the topic originally. Very well done.


The third place is shared by JudasFm and JudasFm, with 4 points for each story. The Nemesis is a world with depth and character and obviously a place JudasFm knows quite well. It seems alive. But I don't think a travel guide is the right way to tell us about this world because it left me wondering why someone would want to visit this place. No matter how much the text insists that it "is not the violent hothouse of paranoia and xenophobia that most people seem to believe", that is exactly the impression I ended up with. It seems restricted, dictatorial and a bit like what one had to expect when visiting the GDR in our world (when it still existed). I'm not sure if this is the impression you were going for.
The poor cheese goddess is a completely different story, with a wonderful chracter. I like how indignant she reacts to the insolent human and how completely powerless she is. I know that it was a last minute entry and so it is no wonder that it feels a bit more anecdotic than like a full story. It's perfect to introduce her - and then we're left waiting for the rest of the story.

Fourth place goes to Rocchinator with 2 points. The story didn't recieve many votes, but it is nonetheless a wonderfully haunting tale. It could have been longer, or at least more flashed out. But the fear and panic of Travis comes across really well.


Thank you all for your entries and votes and thank you Baron and JudasFm for allowing me to use your throphies.

Baron, your turn. See you next time.

WHAM

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Re: Fortnightly Writing Competition: SECOND CHANCE! (Results)
« Reply #42 on: 20 Nov 2017, 15:32 »
First entry all year and I made second place! I'll chalk that up as a win in my books!
My Fortnightly Writing Competition collected works
https://goo.gl/VUQbzU

kconan

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Re: Fortnightly Writing Competition: SECOND CHANCE! (Results)
« Reply #43 on: 20 Nov 2017, 17:16 »
  Those trophies are pretty sweet and fitting for the comp.  Good reads all around entrants!

Baron

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Re: Fortnightly Writing Competition: SECOND CHANCE! (Results)
« Reply #44 on: 21 Nov 2017, 00:22 »
Cool trophies! ;)

Thanks for all the votes folks.  I never really intended to write an in-story reveal; only more of an Encyclopedia Brown solution.  Here you go:

Add spoiler tag for Hidden:
Detective Lester is eager to ditch work and go drinking at a bar, so he doesn't linger long on the details.  He's pretty sure Priscilla (the Dame) wasn't at the crime scene, since her feathers-everywhere and steamroller-perfume would probably have been noted (quite apart from the fact that her choice of words makes it seem like she desperately wants to be thought of as more intelligent than she actually is).  On the same note Marty the Assistant is a walking calamity and the crime scene was quite tidy.  Billy Gates seemed too lazy to do his job, let alone plot and execute a cunning murder.  Besides, why would all three seek out a detective if they were guilty of murder?

While Detective Lester is fairly certain each was innocent of murder, he's quite certain that they are guilty of other things.  The Dame and Marty are both quite inept at hiding the fact that they have a deeper relationship than they are letting on (an affair, Detective Lester believes, based on the nicely tied tie that Marty is sporting.  The detective highly doubts that the hyperactive fidgeting assistant could stand still long enough to tie it.
 The detective would bet money that they were together on the night of the murder; well, if he had any money he would bet it.)  The lazy Billy Gates has been equally lax in hiding the proceeds of his criminal selling of artefacts from the museum loading docks (his expensive gold watch tips off the detective).  None of this could have gone unnoticed by Dr. Partridge, who spent much more time around all three than Detective Lester.  Bertie Partridge was passionate about his work and his beautiful young wife.  Betrayal at both ends might have sent him into a depression, as evidenced by his increasingly erratic behaviour (such as his last date with his wife, and as noted by the security guard). 

But it is the circumstances of the death that confirm for Detective Lester that Bertie Partridge committed suicide.  The doors to the mammalian hall were locked, presumably from the inside.  The mould left out in front of the radiator was probably to dry it, to eliminate all traces of the water that had been left outside to freeze inside.  Detective Lester suspects that Bertie Partridge created an ice skull of his beloved sabre-toothed tiger, hoisted it up using the decorative rope found next to him at the scene (thus his rage at being told he couldn't string it up as a way to cover his tracks), lay down underneath, and then let it crash down on himself.  The quiet tapping that Billy Gates heard midway through the night was no hammer, but the sound of the ice water dripping steadily down the drain, completely melting away by morning.

Detective Lester suspects that come Monday morning when the lawyer's offices open they will discover some last minute changes to Dr. Partridge's will, and maybe some subtle clues to help the police catch the thief responsible for artefact thefts at the museum.  He fully intends to mostly sober up by then.  In the mean time, the weekend is ticking, so he bids his last-minute visitors adieu for now as he rushes out to start his well-deserved bender.

I'll get the next competition up and running just as soon as I remember the awesome idea I had several months ago.... (roll)

JudasFm

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Re: Fortnightly Writing Competition: SECOND CHANCE! (Results)
« Reply #45 on: 23 Nov 2017, 14:52 »

The third place is shared by JudasFm and JudasFm, with 4 points for each story. The Nemesis is a world with depth and character and obviously a place JudasFm knows quite well. It seems alive. But I don't think a travel guide is the right way to tell us about this world because it left me wondering why someone would want to visit this place. No matter how much the text insists that it "is not the violent hothouse of paranoia and xenophobia that most people seem to believe", that is exactly the impression I ended up with. It seems restricted, dictatorial and a bit like what one had to expect when visiting the GDR in our world (when it still existed). I'm not sure if this is the impression you were going for.


Dictatorial towards outsiders, perhaps, but never towards crew members ;) The idea behind the Travel Guide contest really wasn't to make the most enticing world or the nicest one; it was just to create any kind of world and share it in non-story form. As to why you would want to visit, well, partly the lure of the unknown (there are people who want to visit North Korea for much the same reason) and as it mentions, it is the only way to get from planet to planet in a hurry ;)

Also, this is supposed to be a Wikitravel entry, so what you're getting is the opinion of whoever wrote it. There are a lot of people who visit the ship who feel pretty much the same way as you do ;) Prompts willing, I plan to do more stories around that world...