Fortnightly Writing Competition JUVENILE DELINQUENCY (Results)

Started by Baron, Fri 24/11/2017 04:16:58

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Frodo

Quote from: Sinitrena on Thu 14/12/2017 16:00:57
Best Delinquent Character: Frodo for Nikki - I like Nikki and I like the idea she came up with but I have to wonder if she thought it through.

She's a rebellious teenager - she doesn't think anything through.  :tongue:

Sinitrena

Quote from: Frodo on Fri 15/12/2017 07:11:16
Quote from: Sinitrena on Thu 14/12/2017 16:00:57
Best Delinquent Character: Frodo for Nikki - I like Nikki and I like the idea she came up with but I have to wonder if she thought it through.

She's a rebellious teenager - she doesn't think anything through.  :tongue:

Fair enough. I guess I didnt think my comment through.;)

Quote from: Mandle on Thu 14/12/2017 12:52:35
I actually got angry at a few points in the story at the old lady.

I did too when writing. But I have to wonder: Did anyone also feel sorry for her? At least a little bit?

Mandle

Quote from: Sinitrena on Fri 15/12/2017 08:30:11
Did anyone also feel sorry for her? At least a little bit?

I did because my mum has just gone into permanent aged care and while I can't imagine her being quite as nasty she does complain about the staff (and pretty much everything else) a lot.

Baron

Complaining about everything and actually having people put up with your complaints is a right of passage for the elderly.  It's like finally being able to afford that awesome race car and only driving it at half the speed limit, or getting saggy neck skin: you know you've arrived when! (nod)

Results

And another competition has wrapped up like detention at the school bell.  I'd like to thank the entrants for their thoughtful and entertaining submissions.  Individual comments will be followed by the long tedious trophy ceremony.  Don't try sneaking out early: there are hall-monitors stationed at all the exits!

@ Sinitrena For a while there when Mrs. Miller was contemplating the sunshine and a long walk I thought she might be entering a fugue state and might turn to the dark side.  I imagined her experimenting with the liberating sensation of exposing her lower butt-cheeks to the world and getting a rush from shocking the new nursing interns that annoy her so much.  (My mind jumps to playful conclusions when I'm reading fiction (roll)).  I definitely think your ending was more thought-provoking, but I missed that sense of reckless playfulness even in your youth characters.

@ Mandle  Who's Freddy?  And what happened to Kim and Rorey?  I know you're not big on overt exposition, but I think a little more depth is necessary for the average reader (e.g. me ;-D) to really grasp what is going on.  I mean, I get that Freddy is the older brother, the responsible one.  But then he's dead.  Bam.  What?!?  I liked the dark occult scenario, though. 

@ Frodo At last, a truly rebellious teenager!  I thought Nikki's motivation was a bit thin, but her mannerisms and complete lack of sensibility were spot on.  As a reader I'd be interested in more slowly dripped out details of "the incident", but I guess it's always better to leave your audience wanting more.

Now, to the hardware!  The trophies are little shits, like all delinquents. :=

Sinitrena wins gold with 9 votes.  I look forward to her administration of the next topic eagerly.

Frodo wins silver with 5 votes.  Mandle also got 5 votes, but I'm exercising my tie-breaking authority in favour of Frodo for her rebelliousness for rebelliousness' sake. :)

Mandle therefore wins the poop coloured little shit.  It might actually be bronze, but you'll have to have it tested to be sure. ;)

And that's it for another round.  See you all next time for the next exciting instalment of....

The Fortnightly Writing Competition!!

Frodo

Thanks Baron, I shall treasure my little shit forever.  :cheesy:

Sinitrena

Quote from: Mandle on Fri 15/12/2017 08:54:37
Quote from: Sinitrena on Fri 15/12/2017 08:30:11
Did anyone also feel sorry for her? At least a little bit?

I did because my mum has just gone into permanent aged care and while I can't imagine her being quite as nasty she does complain about the staff (and pretty much everything else) a lot.

Sorry to hear about yout mother. I hope the staff is not as bad as she might make it out to be and that she has many happy years ahead of her still.


Thanks for all your votes guys.

See you next round.

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