Author Topic: Web comic - Proofreader wanted  (Read 519 times)

Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« on: 23 Sep 2018, 22:40 »
hey,
I need your support simply by proofreading my web-comic and translating it into decent english.

Thank you in advance for your response,
Brick Jove



« Last Edit: 27 Sep 2018, 23:40 by LimpingFish »

Mandle

  • NO PIXEL LEFT BEHIND!!!
    • Mandle worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Re: web comic - proofreader wanted
« Reply #1 on: 24 Sep 2018, 17:25 »
If you can copy/paste all the text sections in here I can give it a try...

Re: web comic - proofreader wanted
« Reply #2 on: 24 Sep 2018, 21:21 »
If you can copy/paste all the text sections in here I can give it a try...
of course:
01.   Stenography
stenography is a writing method that can be learnt at university  by transcribing the whole stuff your professor wrote on the blackboard during years of study
I am speaking here from my own experience. the only person, who is able to read my own handwriting is myself
What the heck is this
today I’m an assembly line labourer
It has been worthwhile...
2. Depression
THE WORLD IS MEAN AND VICIOUS
AFTER WORK I NEED A HANDFUL OF PAIN-KILLERS JUST to relax my ACHING body
...Even though I lift  a dozen tons a day , I’m still skinny not able to gain muscle...
the main reason for my bad condition should be laziness and poor diet consisting of carbs instead of proteins
I can’t afford to buy high quality products
my wallet is full of paper waste and small cash
on top of this nobody is interested in ...  my artistic creation ...
mew
Ach! Who cares?



Mandle

  • NO PIXEL LEFT BEHIND!!!
    • Mandle worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Re: web comic - proofreader wanted
« Reply #3 on: 26 Sep 2018, 02:43 »
Sweet!

A bit busy today with other projects, but I'll have a go soon!

Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #4 on: 03 Oct 2018, 12:27 »

3. Mandela effect
I was on the way home at night
I simply stopped because I have had to empty my bladder as suddenly…
I threw a coin inside…
If the ground doesn’t exist, I could jump in
… but I heard nothing
So I did without hesitation
I was falling and falling until a light at the end appeared
I felt like thrown upwards losing all the speed
Next morning
contrary to appearances it turned out, that I’ve got into a parallel universe

Creamy

    • I can help with animation
    •  
    • I can help with characters
    •  
    • I can help with story design
    •  
    • I can help with translating
    •  
    • Creamy worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
      Creamy worked on a game that won an AGS Award!
Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #5 on: 03 Oct 2018, 13:20 »
Hi Kira,

I like the surreal tone of the last page.

IMO you should leave a gap between each upper and lower panel. Currently, it's not easy to spot which text refers to which panel.
« Last Edit: 03 Oct 2018, 13:25 by Creamy »
 

Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #6 on: 03 Oct 2018, 13:38 »
Hi Kira,

I like the surreal tone of the last page.

IMO you should leave a gap between each upper and lower panel. Currently, it's not easy to spot which text refers to which panel.
thanks, I realized that flaw afterwards too

Danvzare

  • The Man with No Name
    • I can help with AGS tutoring
    •  
    • I can help with play testing
    •  
    • I can help with proof reading
    •  
    • I can help with story design
    •  
    • I can help with voice acting
    •  
Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #7 on: 04 Oct 2018, 12:52 »
Here's my proof reading:

3. Mandela effect
I was on my way home at night
I stopped because I had to empty my bladder, when suddenly…
I threw a coin inside…
If the ground doesn’t exist, I could jump in
… but I heard nothing
So I did without hesitation
I was falling and falling until a light at the end appeared
I felt like I had been thrown upwards, losing all speed
Next morning
Contrary to appearances it turned out, that I’ve ended up in a parallel universe

Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #8 on: 04 Oct 2018, 13:00 »
@Danvzare
thank you very much, here's the next part


4.batman
I disguised myself as BATMAN again
now I'm ready to save the world
together with SUPER-GIRL
sorry, but this will not work
whuay?
v1
Because I became pregnant
and now fuck off from my residence before Superman comes back
v2
your rant makes me bellyache dude
remember you once and for all, it's definitely toooo late to save something

Mandle

  • NO PIXEL LEFT BEHIND!!!
    • Mandle worked on a game that was nominated for an AGS Award!
Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #9 on: 05 Oct 2018, 00:35 »
Sorry for losing track of this. Still too busy, but happy that others have jumped on board to help out. ;-D

Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #10 on: 07 Oct 2018, 21:45 »

I like chess, it helps relaxing...
one or two games on my favorite chess-portal and I feel great again
let's begin
after a few tactical moves...
haha!!! what a noob! I will checkmate him in four moves!
This guy is bloody weak, I could beat him without seeing the board!
Ou yeah! Let's change to the blind mode!
You will be astonished soon...
one...
two...
three..
and f#ck, how could I've missed it!!!
« Last Edit: 07 Oct 2018, 22:42 by KiraHaraReturns »

Danvzare

  • The Man with No Name
    • I can help with AGS tutoring
    •  
    • I can help with play testing
    •  
    • I can help with proof reading
    •  
    • I can help with story design
    •  
    • I can help with voice acting
    •  
Re: Web comic - Proofreader wanted
« Reply #11 on: 08 Oct 2018, 15:23 »
4.batman
I've disguised myself as BATMAN again
now I'm ready to save the world
together with SUPER-GIRL
sorry, but this will not work
whuay?
v1
Because I've become pregnant
so now fuck off from my residence before Superman comes back
v2
your rant makes my bellyache dude
Besides it's too late to save anything

(I had to change that last line a lot, because it just didn't make any sense to me.)





I like chess, it helps me relax...
one or two games on my favorite chess-portal and I feel great again
let's begin
after a few tactical moves...
haha!!! what a noob! I will checkmate him in four moves!
This guy is bloody weak, I could beat him without seeing the board!
Oh yeah! Let's change to blind mode!
You will be astonished soon...
one...
two...
three..
and f#ck, how could I miss it!!!