The roleplaying/growing old thread.

[Scid]

What do you think your stats will be when you've grown old and warts?

Personally, I think, leading a rather non-active life, I'll be something along the lines of (maximum being 18/99):

STR: 6
INT: 14 (intellectual labor. It'll preserve my thinking skillz)
WIS: 4 (I'll remain naive as long as I can. It's the best!)
DEX: 3 (I'll be mostly doing nothing, physical-wise)
MANNA: 0 (anyone who follows up this thread, and claims otherwise is a pityful fool. Or possibly Phil Reed. Because he does have a kind of magic)

Amount of children: 3
Married: Yes. Once. To the love of my life.
Time spent defending country: 0 seconds.

Class: Useless old fart!

[Eggie]

STR:0
INT:0
WIS: 0
DEX: 0
MANNA: 0

Amount of Children: 0
Married: Still a virgin
Time spent dfending country: -14 seconds.

Class: dead

With the lifestryle I live now, I doubt I'll live to grow old.  

[Gilbert]

heh:

STR: 3 (I'm weak)
INT: 2 (I'm just a f00)
WIS: 1 (not wise enough to make a comment here)
DEX: 30 (I'll be the first who escapes if disasters strike)
MANNA: 78 (due to my INT and WIS, this is nothing important)

Amount of children: 0 (all ate by me when they're freshly born)
Married: Yes, to teh great Octompus.
Time spent defending country: 5 seconds (but probably not the contry of my own)

Class: Good foe when you are short on manna point and wants to use the drain manna spell.

EDIT: oops forgot to add teh class.

[BruisedWeasel]

STR: 2
INT: 4
WIS: 31337
DEX: -78
MANNA: 1337

I'll be pretty much bedbound like those huge fatasses on Jerry Springer. This will contribute to my stats being so low. However, being imobile will allow my to develope my mind powers through meditation. I will attain Nirvana, thus my hi wisdom and manna stats.

Amount of children: 0
Married: to a guy named SexyDog69 on the astral plane.
Time spent defending country: 0 seconds. Screw the country, I have nirvana to attain!

Class: I can't believe it's not buddha!

[TerranRich]

STR: 5 (I'm a weakling as it is)
INT: 17
WIS: 16
DEX: 12
MANNA: 10

Explanation? I'm into Astral Projection, ESP, and all that and am currently trying to hone these latent skills. One day I'll be able to do simple things like project myself down the street and guess cards at the blackjack table.

Amount of children: 2
Married: Yes, to teh girl of mah dreams...if she ever shows up...
Time spent defending country: 0 seconds. Hah! Like this country deserves to be defended.

Class:

[Andail]

AGS-GAME-CONSTRUCTION: 7
FINDING SHORT CUTS TO DIFFERENT PARTS OF GOTHENBURG: 5
HANDSTANDING: 3
JOTTING DOWN NEAT FIGURES IN MY NOTE BOOK: 12
SELECTING GOOD RECORDS AT PARTIES: 18/99

[Evil]

str: 7
dex: 5
con: 8
int: 9
wis: 11
cha: 16 (biggest flirt in the retirement home
ref: 3
will:1
ac: 2
hp: 3.56

but by then i will be a level 30 kender so it doesnt matter...  

[DragonRose]

STR: 2 (I can't do so much as a pushup now, why should I be able to do it when I'm old and feeble?)
INT: 16(I read too much)
WIS: 4 (Ooo look! A bird!)
DEX: 1 (Looking at how my parents and grandparent are shaping up, I will be one of those scary old ladies motoring around in an electric wheel chair)
MANA: 7 (I definitly believe in magic/magik/ however you want to spell it)

Amount of children: 1
Married: Have to find a date first...
Time spent defending country: In any sort of life-threatening capacity, 0 seconds.

Class: Electric wheelchair wizard!

[Quickstrike]

STR: .5
INT: -5 ( I plan to be senile)
WIS:20 ( I'll say metaphors like "If you want a chicken, go ask a monkey")
DEX: -1 (Brain in jar)
MANA: 100 (fake, I'll think I can turn on the lights using only my hands.  I'll actually have a "Clapper"

Ammount of children: 1
Married: Yes (Don't ask how I'll find somebody as wierd as me!)
Time Spent Defending Country: 3 hours (Time-traveling dream to Vietnam)

Class: Jewish Retiree (GASP!)

[Femme Stab Mode >:D]

str: 10 (I'm quite strong, I can lift my mother and she weighs twice as much as me
int:9
wis: 11 (yeah yeah, I like 11, it looks like two drumsticks)
dex:2
manna: -12 ( I used to con people into believing I was magic as a kid, so there)

Ammoutn of children: 0 (thank god!)
Married: Nopey.
time spent defending the country: -15 years
Class: Mop top

[Renal Shutdown]

STR:   2
(hooked up to life support machine, and pumped full of steroids)
INT:   3
(almost brain dead, but able work out how to create a bourbon drip)
WIS:   1  
(my T-shirt is emblazoned with some witty yet philosophical comment...  and has drool/crumbs motif).
DEX:   4  
(the new heart is working a treat, but I'm on my fourth kidney)
MANNA:  8  (doctors have been saying "it's a Miracle he's lasted this long" for ages).

(Charisma: Unknown.  I can't get the nurses to respond with anything other than:
"Now, Mr Iqu, you know you're not supposed to...  Eek, get you hands off me you lecherous, old creep...  and you can put that away right, now").

Amount of Children:
4, all of which are in therapy.

Married:
Divorced, and currently being sued.

Time spent defending country:
12 minutes (beaten up in bar after misunderstanding with urinal).

Class: 70 per cent proof.

[Fuzzpilz]

STR: 3 (I'm already weak now, I don't think it'll be better when I'm 90)
INT: 12 (please?)
WIS: 10 (if I haven't forgotten all of it again by that time)
DEX: 2 (rheumatism, arthritis, and all their little friends)
MANA: 0/7 (I'll accidentally cast a fireball when I'm 30, but since there are no Mana Potions in the real world, there's no way for me to fill it up again)

Children: 0.
Married: No.
Time spent defending country: None.

Class.

[Soft, Gooey, Delicious.]

INT: Global
STR: MIGHTY!
GEEK: 10
WIS: Socrates*
DEX: 18 - I will be Cyber-Luke
MANNA: reserved

Kids: more than one.
Married: It'd be nice.
Time spent defending country: By this time, there will no longer be countries.

Class: Dirty old man

*I will be the wisest man in all of greece, not that that** says much these days. Excepting of course, I won't be in greece, as it's a hole.

** Double words are great.

[Esseb]

Assuming a max of 20
STR:  6 (wimp)
INT: 9 (average)
WIS: 7 (I don't learn from my mistakes)
DEX: 5 (I'm not sure if I've moved any the past four days)
BANANA: 3 (I like bananas)

Children: 0
Married: No
Time spent having sex with female members of the royal family: Zero seconds.

Class: Geek

[Helm]

Helm, age 80:

STR: 6... 5... somewhere around there.
INT: 18/99 of course
WIS: There's no such thing. (people that say there's no such thing usually have about 6 to 7)
CHA: 14 (16 for people my age )
DEX: I hope my hand/eye coordination doesn't leave me by then. That's about 8
CON: 4...3? I dunno. In danger of slipping  and falling to your death pretty much means 3.

Married Status: No, thank you.
Children: I kidnap one or two a month from the nearby kindergarden.

Class: Uncoordinated Ninja

I'd do Proficiencies, but I'm too bored and my second edition knowledge is a bit rusty.

[Evil]

heh, i'm not the only geek here

[Goldmund]

INT: -5 ( I plan to be senile)
WIS:20 ( I'll say metaphors like "If you want a chicken, go ask a monkey")

How's that for a senile metaphor of the year.

[Ghormak]

Int: 4 (I'll probably get Alzheimers or something)
Str: 4 (Strength was never my strong side)
Wis: 4 (What's the difference between wisdom and intelligence anyway?)
Int: 4 (I'll probably get Alzheimers or something)
Dex: 8 (By playing the piano constantly, I will manage to keep up my dexterity)
Pokey: 17

Number of full-length AGS games produced: 0
Marital status: Widow for the fifth time (working on the sixth)

Class: Grumpy old man who wears Diapers of Protection +3

[Helm]

*I will be the wisest man in all of greece, not that that** says much these days. Excepting of course, I won't be in greece, as it's a hole.

** Double words are great.

Excuse me, did you just make generic derogatory remarks towards a country you probably know very little about? 'cause I couldn't be sure with all the stuttering.

[Soft, Gooey, Delicious.]

Excuse me, did you just make generic derogatory remarks towards a country you probably know very little about? 'cause I couldn't be sure with all the stuttering.

Let's see...
1) An ironic comment which at once acknowledges western civilisation's debt to the greek thinker's of yesteryear and also makes the wry observation that greece is no longer the centre of said western civilisation.
2) One of the delightful quirks of the English language.
3) The same status I assign to the city I live in, A hole.

Yes well, it appears I did make generic derogatory remark about a country I probably know very little about. I think it's obvious it wasn't serious though...