Fortnightly Writing Competition - TV Tropes (WINNER)

[Sinitrena]

"There are no new ideas. There are only new ways of making them felt" (Audre Lorde)

Maybe it's true that there are no new stories to be told only new ways of telling them, maybe it's not. But I do believe that every story takes elements and concepts from already existing stories and uses them to create something new. That's basically what I want you to do.
The topic for this fortnightly writing competition is

TV Tropes

Head over to http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage (or if you know of a similar site, go there) and chose a random trope (there's a random button on the bottom or a story generator under "toys" on the left) to use in your story, or poem or essay or whatever you want. If you don't want something so random, just write any story you like and look for a fitting trope later.

Post your story and the trope(s) you used until 10. July.
And most important: Have fun!

[Stupot]

Nice theme
I have been known to waste whole evenings on that website, so I thought I'd just go in, press random and get out before I'm sucked in for the rest of the day.
It came up with Nixon Mask.
I guess it will probably have to be about a bank robbery or something.
Watch this space :-)

[Baron]

Awesome topic!  I too spend too much time at the TV Tropes website

However... not to challenge the timelessness of tropes or anything but... what did you call the Nixon Mask trope before the 1970s?  Maybe.... once in a while.... there is novelty in the universe!

[Ghost]

Series about town full of geniuses!
Icey's favourite game series minus fantasy plus Rayman's female guardian spirit!
__
* Eureka! Final-ly!



That's the best of all the themes. Will try to come up with something!

[edit]
I hit the Story Generator and got this as the first result.


Setting: Inn Between The Worlds
Plot: God For A Day
Narrative Device: Final Exam Finale
Hero: The Atoner
Villain: The Fundamentalist
Character As Device: White Dwarf Starlet
Characterization Device: Mysterious Past

I like that. I will use that.

[Adeel]

    Look. What I got: Weakness Turns Her On .

    So apparently, its going to a be love story. I'll try to complete my story (and edit it) within deadline. Best of luck to everyone. 

[kconan]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AfroAsskicker

Sup homeboys.  Your jive soul bro AfroAssKicker in the house.

[Stupot]

Haha. Nice one kconan.
Ponch will be jealous

[Ponch]

Haha. Nice one kconan.
Ponch will be jealous

I am jealous! Especially since my random trope is "Left the background music on". How I can build a story around that, I have no idea.

[Stupot]

Haha. Nice one kconan.
Ponch will be jealous

I am jealous! Especially since my random trope is "Left the background music on". How I can build a story around that, I have no idea.

Haha. You can have mine if you want. I don't think I'm gonna have a chance to do one this week

[Baron]

Man, this has been harder than I thought it would be, but I think I've finally cracked the concept.  I'm not sure where it's going yet, but I'm fairly confident I can wrap it up in the next three days.  Anyone else still hacking away at this?

[Ponch]

Anyone else still hacking away at this?

I want to. But between failing to finish OROW and unexpectedly having a house guest for the last four days, I just haven't had any free time to sit down and write. Plus, I can't find a good angle to make "Left the background music on" work as a story. Even if I stole Stupot's theme, as he kindly offered, I can't make "Nixon mask" work either. I'm stuck!

[kconan]

TROPE: AfroAssKicker

“I am so sick of these crackas!” exclaimed Superbro.  His best friend, Chuck N. Jive, replied, “Try these Saltines, they are much better than the knockoffs,” and handed him a box of the brand name cracked pepper crackers as they both watched the Soul Train ripoff, Soul Tram.  Jive said, “Yo Superbro, you wanna roll out and get your fro steamed?”  Superbro lept off the couch and, with a big mid-air roundhouse kick, hit the TV off button.  Superbro landed near the front door and replied, “Yea man, we out.”  He opened the door and swaggered out to their stylish ride; the Pimpberghini.  Jive jumped in the passenger seat, while Superbro did a double-twisting backflip into the driver's seat.  The roof of the car was fro-friendly, and so both Superbro and Jive had plenty of room.  They tore off at top speed to their favorite local barber shop:  Mow Fros. 

“I can't stand this whitebread!” declared Superbro.  Jive passed him a few slices of wheat bread and said, “Here, these taste better and are good for you.”  Superbro and Jive had just got their Afros steamed and trimmed to their exacting specifications, and were now relaxing in a Panera Bread.  Jive's phone rang and he answered.  Superbro could see Jive's head nodding initially, and then his brow furrowed with worry.  Superbro rarely worried…Partly due to his being six foot five of rock solid muscle, but mainly due to the fact that he is a superhero.  Superbro is a platinum belt in every major form of martial arts, an expert marksman with every kind of firearm, and he had placed in powerlifting competitions until they kicked him out for winning too much.  He feared nothing...Well, almost nothing.  Superbro had his own version of kryptonite, and his trusty sidekick Jive had saved him on numerous occasions when his archenemies took advantage of this weakness.  Jive put the phone down, sighed, and said, “Superbro, man, I'm sorry but…” and he abruptly stopped talking and exclaimed, “Superbro, down!”  Superbro, knowing what the warning was referring to, buried his face into his hands and said, “Let me know when it's cool.”  Jive motioned for the man who was wearing his friend's Achilles heel to come over.  Jive said to the man, “Look Chet, You're going to have to either leave or take that off.  It's like kryptonite to my man here,” while pointing at his chest.  The man replied, “It's Bif actually, look I don't want any trouble,” and he simply strolled out of the front door.  Superbro queried in a muffled voice, “Yo man, we good to go?”  Jive said, “Yea man…He out.  Why people gotta wear sweater vests anyway?”  Superbro could feel all the women in Panera Bread staring at him, and he said to Jive, “Let's roll Jive...These ladies stare at me too long and they become preggo.”

“Yo Casper, what's doing?” said Superbro to the man dressed up in a Casper outfit standing in front of the costume store.  Jive and Superbro had left the small bakery and were walking around the downtown area and Jive decided to bring up a touchy subject.  Jive said, ”Yo man black power and all but sometimes you say things that could be taken as racist.  Maybe you are trying for double entendres, or irony, or maybe you just innocently say this stuff which could be taken out of context but-“ and before he could finish, Jive was knocked over by a large armed man wearing a ski mask who was sprinting towards a beat-up van.  Superbro shouted, “Yo man, hold up!” and chased after him.  The masked man turned, pointed a Beretta 686 over-under shotgun at his pursuer, and fired.  Superbro immediately lowered his head, and the shotgun pellets ricocheted harmlessly off his afro, and he continued pursuit.  The masked man fired again, and this time Superbro leapt high into the air as the pellets passed underneath him.  While flying through the air, Superbro reached into his fro and began rapidly throwing ninja afro picks at his attacker.  The assailant deflected several ninja picks with the now empty shotgun, while several others impacted into his right shoulder.  He resumed his attempted escape by racing towards the van.  Superbro shouted, “Pump yo brakes fool, Superbro's got beef with you!”  The attacker charged into the van, and was about to start the engine when his door was ripped off the hinges.  Superbro threw the door aside, grabbed his attacker in headlock and dragged him out of the van.  Jive walked up and said, “It's about to get real now homeboy!  You just nicked my man's freshly quaffed fro with pellet shot!”  Superbro lifted the man into the air and preceded to military press him up and down above his head.  The man said, “Ok…ok.  You can have the money, just let me go.”  Superbro threw his former attacker up in the air, caught him, and then piledrived him on the concrete parking lot.  The man was on the ground moaning, and he pointed towards the van and said, “Money…yours…leave me be.”  Superbro and Jive searched the van, and it appeared as if the man had robbed the orphanage nearby.  They tied up the robber and threw him in the back of the van.  Superbro took off for the orphanage in the van and Jive followed in the Pimpberghini.

Superbro walked into the front office of the orphanage and exclaimed, “Hey Honky!”  Jive shook his head and said under his breath to Superbro, “Man this is what I'm telling you, you gotta chill with that racist-“ and was cut off when the headmaster of the orphanage came up and hugged Superbro.  The man pulled back from the embrace and extended his hand towards Jive and said, “Deacon Earl Honkey at your service.”  Jive shook his head and returned the handshake.   Deacon Honkey said, “Thanks Superbro for returning our money and belongings that were stolen last week.  The man apparently was in the process of robbing a house when you guys caught him.  Anyway, drive him over to the police station and they will sort him out.”  Superbro and Jive exchanged a glance, and Superbro said, “Sir, I'm no fan of the Po Po, and so I need you to square it away while Jive and I go out for some smooth Anaconda Man-Beast liquor to celebrate.”  The Deacon appeared to mull this over and said, ”Sure, I understand.  Look I have another issue maybe you guys could help with.  In desperation to keep this place afloat for the kids, I borrowed some money from a seedy loan shark who isn't being very patient with the orphanage's payback plan.  Maybe you could talk to them.”  Jive asked, “Where we rollin?”  Deacon Honkey said, “Rusty Cross Trailer Park.”  Superbro lamented, “Ah man, that's those pajama wearing racist suckah's crib.  MOTHERFU-“

…and now a word from our sponsor:

Do you like fine ladies digging you?  Do you like looking and feeling smoooooooth?  Then you should drink Anaconda Man-Beast malt liquor.  Put some hair on your chest, back, and everywhere else my brother and feel the hissssssssssssss of the Anaconda Man-Beast!
Side effects may include: Increased testosterone levels, deeper voice, explosive diarrhea, standard diarrhea, baby punching, excessive toe jams, hitler moustache growth, intermittent hearing, vomiting

…and now my brothers we return to our regularly scheduled program…

Superbro was in the passenger side of the Pimpbergini as they pulled up to the Rusty Cross Trailer Park.  “Groove Line” by Heatwave had been blasting until Superbro turned off the radio, dramatically jumped out, and marched over to what he guessed was the grand dragon's trailer.   Jive, while smaller than Superbro and not an actual superhero, was tough in his own right and so he accompanied his longtime friend.  The trailers were in a complete state of disrepair, and trash was strewn about all over the ground.  The place smelled of hot garbage.  Superbro shook his head as he walked, ducked under a clothesline, and was about to knock on the main trailer door when he heard, “Git them coons!”  Jive and Superbro both started their attack katas when they heard a shotgun blast followed by a “Yeeehaaaa.”  Out from behind the trailer walked a grimy looking redneck holding two dead raccoons.  The redneck looked at Superbro and said, “Daggum raccoons been tearing up my gardens.” and proceeded over to a pit and threw both raccoons in it.  He then walked back over to Superbro and said, “I know you, you're the superhero who risks his neck for the brother man.“  Jive backed up against the main trailer and looked around carefully.  Superbro replied, “Yea, I can dig it.”  The redneck said, ”But you have a weakness...Merle!”  Suddenly the sound of wheels and pulleys could be heard, and sweater vests were being moved along the clothesline with the largest pair of panties Superbro and Jive had ever seen.  Jive ran towards the clothesline and began yanking the vests off, starting with the Ed Hardy vest.  Superbro was on the ground spasming and frothing at the mouth.  Jive had yanked off his third vest when out of nowhere the monstrous panties were thrown in his face and he found himself in a bear hug.  Jive could hear the first redneck yell, “Yea, get him Big Rita!” and Superbro moaning on the ground.  Jive was able to work his right arm free from Big Rita's grasp.  Just as he clapped her left ear, Jive caught a glimpse of a large skid mark in the panties.  Big Rita reeled from the ear clap, and Jive was able to extricate himself from the panty tangle.  He then headbutted her for good measure, which caused Big Rita to fully release Jive from her clutches, and she fell to the ground.  The first redneck ran over yelling, but was abruptly stopped when Jive shoulder tackled him.  Still thinking of Big Rita's skid mark, Jive vomited up Anaconda Man-Beast malt liquor all over his attacker's face.  Jive then jumped up, grabbed the clothesline, and ran behind the main trailer dragging all of the sweater vests with him.

Minutes later…the head redneck, Big Rita, and Merle were standing near where the scuffle had taken place.  The main redneck said, “That blasted Superbro was laying yonder as a defeated man.  What happened?”  Merle replied, “I'da thought that many sweater vests would keel ‘em.  Them thangs were super douchey to!”  Big Rita scratched her quintuple chin and said, “And whar is dat udder one?”  Superbro soared through the air from the top of the main trailer and dropkicked all three of his foes: Big Rita with the left, Merle with the right, and he nailed the head redneck with his middle leg.  Jive calmly walked over the Superbro who was staring down at his knocked out opponents.  Superbro cracked his neck and then his knuckles, and declared, “Dayum!  Big Rita's got some junk in her trunk.”  Jive chuckled and replied, “She got junk everywhere homeboy, you don't want none of that.”  Superbro threw his big arm around Jive and said, “Thanks for the vest save bro, now let's help the orphanage, find some fly ass hos, and drink Big Rita's weight in Anaconda Man-Beast malt liquor â€" and not necessarily in that order.”

[Sinitrena]

Oh, an entry! Nice.

I hope to read a few others, so write, write, write!

And if you need an extension of the deadline, just ask. I realise that OROW probably took time away for some people.

And just to remind you: I never said you had to use the first trope the random generator came up with. There's always the alternative to write any story and look up a suitable trope later.

[Ponch]

if you need an extension of the deadline, just ask. I realise that OROW probably took time away for some people.

I wouldn't mind an extension of a few days and another roll on the Tropes Randomizer.

[Armageddon]

For the front of my house I made my mind when I chucked the grass and moved the line. This palace is too big but let's not move. Earth is spinning in a billion ways, more than a day of pigs that graze. But I'll shut the shop so I can move on and find a better place, after all, this city is a shame. But hey let's not run away there's all this security why should we leave for some bizarre place that might not work out for us in the end. We could lose it all or lose it all. Hey there's a dog let's eat it's arm and throw it around all over the place but it has barked too loud and the neighbor woke in a daze. So here we are in the back of a car with pretty blue lights running down the way to a square Grey place. Once we leave it will be different but still the same old house in the same old city in the same light of day. Once we leave we can move away. For every line there is another and another and another to find a lounge that will take us is not a shame. For the day is away but the blue is biting us around the icy border of the ground so let's run away. Aren't you tired yet of the rain, we need to get out more. The Chinese will be here in five, lower the volume. But the neighbors are out. We did enough to these people. I had a dream last night of found owls. What are those? The end of lines. Lines to where? Their skull. Food, it tastes nice, we should eat out more. Or we could stay and sleep it away. I can't afford these candies, I'm not Gandhi sleeping in India. Trees falling from leaves are certainly a nice juxtapose. That's not what that. I know.

[Adeel]

An extension of two to three days would suitable and fair. Its up to you to decide, of course.

[kconan]

  I vote for extension, maybe until Friday or Saturday-ish.

[Sinitrena]

All right: Deadline extended to the end of Saturday, 13 july. That should be enough time, I hope.

[Baron]

THE TROPE TROOP

   â€œOK everybody, can you have a seat and we'll get started.  Hey, nice tie!  I hope nobody had any trouble finding the place.  There'll be a small snack-buffet afterwards.  Everybody settled?  Right, here's the pitch!
   â€œYou've all signed up for the heist, correct?  Nobody here for the Mom & Tot Art Seminar or the Longest Fart Society's AGM?  Just checkin' -they share the space.
   â€œSo here's the deal.  Nobody here knows anybody else, and I want to keep it that way for legal purposes, if you catch my drift.  Everyone will receive a codename, and you are only to refer to each other by your codenames.  DO NOT REVEAL YOUR REAL NAME TO ANYONE.  I can't stress that enough.  How's anyone going to rat you out if they don't even know who you are?  It's just common sense.
   â€œSo codenames.  I know you're expecting to be assigned colours or historical figures or whatever, but I find that always leads to internal conflict over who gets the cool names.  So this time we're doing it by TV tropes: I'm gonna call a spade a spade here, which means everyone is going to get exactly what they deserve.  Got it?”
   â€œAre you some sort of... TV gameshow host?” enquired the only attractive woman at the table.
   â€œWhat?  No.  Why would you-”
   â€œMaybe its the too-perfect-to-be-real hair, the overly white smile, or the compulsive schmoozing...” she mused.
   â€œWhoa, hey!  Leave the hair out of this lady!  These plugs cost me a mint.  But, uh, we need rule number two now.  And that rule is, DO NOT REVEAL YOUR OCCUPATION TO ANYONE.  Actually any identifying information is a bad idea.  A very bad idea.  Got it?  Good.”
   â€œHang on, was that a wink-and-a-gun?” the woman asked.  Her low-cut tank-top was now drawing the attention of most of the men seated at the table.
   â€œWhat?”
   â€œJust there.  You gave that guy the wink-and-the-gun when you said 'Good'.  Normal people don't do that.  It gives an impression of slimy-falseness.”
   â€œHe didn't give me anything....” the receiving man said slowly, looking down at this empty hands.
   â€œNever mind, big guy,” the leader said, waving his hand dismissively.
   â€œBig guy!” the woman guffawed.  “You are for sure a TV guy, or at least some other form of shifty reptile...”  She looked him up and down with an expression of utter disdain.
   â€œ....And I give you Alpha-Bitch!” the lead man said, pointing out the woman in case there was any doubt in the room.  “She's conceited.  She's condescending.  She'll put you down and twist her heal into your eye as soon as look at you.  And she'll use you for her own selfish ambitions, so be forewarned!”
   The woman looked at him indignantly.  “And I suppose you're Vacuum Salesman?”
   â€œI,” he said, pointing to himself.  “I am White Male Lead.  Here, I made name tags for everyone in case you get confused.”
   â€œMe OK!” said the slow-witted man when he got his badge.
   â€œNo, it says MOOK,” White Male Lead corrected him.  “You're the Mook.”
   The Mook stared blankly.
   â€œIt's like a soulless kind of henchman.”
   The Mook continued to stare.
   â€œYou'll do great.  And here's yours Trickster....”
   The Trickster looked at his name tag and grinned mischievously to himself.  “I would have called me The Charlatan!” he joked in a kind of goofy-aristocratic schtick.
   â€œWe're sticking to the book on this one,” White Male Lead chided him.  “And yours...”
   The old man scratched his long white beard, brow furrowed.  “Eh?  Electric Motor?”
   â€œEccentric Mentor, actually,” White Male Lead clarified.  “You're like a quirky father figure to the group, bestowing upon us bits of profound wisdom cleverly encrypted within the inane rantings of a gaseous geriatric.” 
   The old man rubbed his finger in his ear and then analyzed the harvest upon the tip of his digit, much to the disgust of Alpha-Bitch.  “Did he say I'm a queer feather to grope?”
   â€œ...And moving on.  Here's one of my favourites: Creepy Housekeeper!”
   A middle-aged lady with frazzled hair and an unhinged look in her eye perked up.  “Oh, yes Master!  Very good Master!”
   â€œThat's the spirit!  And rounding out our team of seven: The Dandy.”
   The suavely dressed and well-composed gentleman at the end of the table tipped his head in acknowledgement.  “What's the score, Big White?”
   â€œBig White.  I like that,” said White Male Lead.
   â€œWhat about... 'Tighty-Whitey'?” asked the Trickster.  “'Cause we're tight, bro!”  He offered props to White Male Lead, but was left hanging.
   â€œNooooooo.” White Male Lead let the word linger in the air a while for emphasis.
   â€œYou can't be serious!” Alpha-Bitch interjected.  “Who picked this team?  With the exception of myself and maybe the Dandy over here, you're just a team of misfitted losers!”
   The Dandy shrugged and slid closer to her.  “I don't know about mis-fitting, but your team could sure be looser,” he quipped in a debonaire tone, staring intensely into Alpha-Bitch's eyes.
   Alpha-Bitch was lost in his dreamy gaze, so the Trickster jumped in (props fist still held high): “He's.... talking about your.... tits!” he giggled.
   â€œHuh?” sighed Alpha-Bitch dreamily.
   â€œI said you're the most stunning creature I've seen,” the Dandy continued.  “What's say, when this is all over, you and I take our winnings to Monte Carlo and have some real fun.”
   â€œOK, OK, enough of that, Dandy.  We need you to save some of that magic for the... for the plan,” White Male Lead protested.  The Dandy had already leaned in to kiss Alpha-Bitch, however, and her eyes were now closed and lips parted in expectation.
   â€œYeah.... the plan?  Guys?” White Male Lead rolled his eyes, then snapped his fingers and pointed at the oblivious couple about to embrace.  In a heartbeat the Creepy Housekeeper had leapt the table and intercepted the Dandy's kiss, breaking the spell.
   â€œWhat the f-?!?” Alpha-Bitch began, but even as she spoke the words the Creepy Housekeeper had turned on her.
   â€œDon't talk back to the Master!” she barked, karate chopping Alpha-Bitch right in the head.  Alpha-Bitch collapsed back into her chair as the Creepy Housekeeper turned back to the Dandy and kissed him some more.  He struggled to free himself, of course, but she'd latched on through the force of suction with her tongue down his throat such that he was entirely at her mercy.  There was the horrid sound of choking, and his leg flailed helplessly in the air.
   â€œRelease him,” White Male Lead commanded, and instantly the order was obeyed.
   â€œAs for you, I'll deal more with you later!” she snapped, pinching the Dandy's crotch for good measure.  He gasped, clutching at his throat before collapsing back into his chair.
   â€œNow, if there are no further interruptions?” White Male Lead asked, drumming his fingers on the table.  The Trickster still had his props hanging in the air, eyebrows dancing enticingly.  The Mook still stared at his name badge, and the Eccentric Mentor was still examining the ear wax he had gleaned from his auditory organ.  The Creepy Housekeeper came around the table to stand behind White Male Lead, gently twirling her fingers through his hair.
   â€œYeah, that is creepy,” he confessed, giving a nod to the Dandy who was trying to regain his composure while frantically dabbing at his mouth with a handkerchief soaked with hand-sanitizer.  Alpha-Bitch stared daggers at him, but was sullenly silent.
   â€œRight, on to the plan,” he continued.  “Each of you have been chosen for your unique abilities, all of which will be required for the heist to be successful.  Should we succeed, your reward will be one seventh of the proceeds, minus expenses of course.  The target is the Bureau of Engraving and Printing facility in Fort Worth, Texas, where half the paper currency of the United States is printed.”
   â€œOh, my, god!” Alpha-Bitch exclaimed.  “He's going to eat it!”  She pointed helplessly towards Eccentric Mentor, whose wax laden finger tip was manoeuvring closer to his widening mouth.
   White Male Lead grimaced.  “Somebody stop him,” he commanded.  But Creepy Housekeeper was lost in her hair-twirling, humming to herself.  The Mook required step by step instructions to be of much use, and Alpha-Bitch and the Dandy were still recovering from their ordeal.  That only left the Trickster, prop-fist still raised, eyebrows twitching and head affirmatively nodding.  “Oh fine,” White Male Lead conceded, bumping the Trickster's outstretched fist with his own.  The Trickster turned immediately to Eccentric Mentor and with one fluid motion ripped off the old man's pants.
   â€œHow the h-?!?” Alpha-Bitch gaped, but the words caught in her throat as the Trickster leapt up onto the table to dance.  He had one hand in the air, finger pointing upward and twirling, while the other was wrapped around the waist of the empty old man pants, somehow commanding them like a puppeteer so that it appeared as if they were dancing with him.  “The master commands, and the dog PANTS!  Oh yeah!” he shouted.
   â€œOK, that's pretty disturbing as well,” White Male Lead commented.
   Eccentric Mentor stood shakily, his bare knees wobbling beneath the moth-eaten remnants of his forty-year old underpants.  Alpha-Bitch's eyes widened in horror.  “They're gonna give!” she shrieked.  Just at that moment the elastic snapped and the ghostly shroud shot up to land directly on the Trickster's head.  He suddenly twitched violently, eyes rolling back in his head and froth spewed forth from his lips.  The spasms intensified, then he started melting into the table.  In moments there was nothing but a pile of clothes in the middle of the surface.
   The other six team members just stared incredulously at the centre of the table.  No one even breathed.  Then a tittering laugh broke the silence and the Trickster emerged from a darkened corner of the room, naked as the day he was born.  He gave the naked-from-the-waist-down Eccentric Mentor the double gun salute, then perched himself gaily on the lap of the Dandy.  His hand tried to stifle the chortling noises coming from his mouth, then he said in his straightest tone: “Do continue.”
   Alpha-Bitch instinctively slid away from the Dandy and the naked Trickster who was straddling him, only to realize that Eccentric Mentor was still standing, manly in the breeze, across the table from her.  “Can you, like, sit down?” she asked in exasperation.
   â€œJust cause there's a little snow on the roof, doesn't mean the root cellar ain't well stocked,” Eccentric Mentor stated gruffly, then slowly shrank back down into his seat.
   There was a long silence.  “OK,” White Male Lead took control of the conversation again.  “Is... anybody else going to get naked?”  He looked at Alpha-Bitch in particular, then made a discouraging gesture to Creepy Housekeeper, who had suddenly stopped twirling his hair.  Reassuringly she started up again.
   â€œOK, so the plan.  A fleet of money trucks leaves the compound at precisely 8:15 am every week day.  Only next Tuesday there's going to be an accident blocking traffic on their preferred route.  This will be orchestrated by the poor driving habits of Eccentric Mentor, or maybe just by him wandering half-naked through traffic...."  Eccentric Mentor nodded.
   â€œAccording to protocol," White Male Lead continuted, "the base-command will reroute the convoy to their secondary route.  At this point the Mook will push the shiny red button that will block all radio contact and GPS tracking between the fleet and base-command.  Signage on the backup route will have been changed by the Trickster, confusing the drivers and misdirecting them into the shady abandoned factory district.  There, the lead driver and guards will be seduced out of their vehicle by Dandy and/or Alpha-Bitch, depending on their gender and/or sexual orientation.  At this point Creepy Housekeeper will sneak up behind them and slit their throats.  I will then personally switch clothes with the least blood-stained corpse and drive the lead vehicle, bringing the convoy into an abandoned factory where we will gas the remaining drivers and guards.  At which point the Trickster will switch the contents of the trucks with monopoly money photocopied at great expense, and we make our getaway to a foreign jurisdiction, possibly stopping off along the way to indulge in personal vendettas that may well lead to our capture or downfall.  Any questions?”
   They all looked from one to the other.  A hand was tentatively raised behind the Trickster.  “Hey, Dandy, is that you buddy?  What's on your mind?”
   â€œIt's not what's on my mind that's preoccupying me at the moment,” he responded coolly, regaining his composure and dumping the naked Trickster unceremoniously off his lap.  “But about the money... all those freshly printed notes have sequential serial numbers that would be easily traceable if we ever tried to spend the money, wouldn't they?”
   White Male Lead nodded slowly, hands clasped.  “Well.... yeah, probably.”
   â€œAnd aren't all federal currency guards equipped with gas masks?” Alpha-Bitch asked.
   Again White Male Lead nodded slowly.  “Uh.... yeah.  Probably.  Actually, I'll have to look into that one. But good point.  Anyone ...else?”
   â€œAnd aren't all federal employees equipped with anti-arousal devices around their crotches?” asked the Trickster from the floor.
   â€œAh, the jugum!” Eccentric Mentor nodded.  “It's kind of like a bear trap for your-”
   â€œYes, thanks for the timely wisdom, Eccentric Mentor.  All good points so far,” White Male Lead said, still nodding.  “And....”
   He looked at the Mook, who stared blankly ahead.
   â€œUh....” the Mook began slowly.  “Helicopter surveillance common....?”
   White Male Lead nodded once more, slapping both palms down on the table.  “Good, good.  This has been quite the... uh, fruitful enterprise.  Good committee work, everybody.  Lots of ...valid points raised.  Y-ep.  So... next steps.  Ah... What I'm going to do now is play a cheerfully familiar up-tempo track for you from my iPod while you all stare at this magnesium flash-” POOF! “-and Creepy Housekeeper here is gonna hack you defeatists all to pieces with a rusty old hatchet she carries in her purse.  Don't forget to do yourself last, now!  Bye!”
        The middle-aged woman shrieked with hysteric laughter at the prospect.

[Ponch]

All right: Deadline extended to the end of Saturday, 13 july. That should be enough time, I hope.

Thanks! I'll try to make the most of it.

[Chef!]

    Alright here goes, It's a little long.. but length is very subjective.  Besides whats a little under 5000 words between friends?  My tropes are the keystone army, Merlin and Nimue, and I'm sure there is one about king Arthur so I tossed him in there too.  Anyways, give yourself plenty of time, and enjoy!

               

Merlin



   Merlin's head was pounding as he slowly awoke. His arms and legs felt numb with pain.  When his vision finally cleared he realized he was in serious trouble.  Nynave and Morgana stood before him viciously regarding their prisoner. 

   â€œWhat have you done my love?”  he asked neither in particular.  If his circumstances were not so dire he might have laughed.  His love for Nynave had died long ago and lately he had grown tired of Morgana.   Time was weighing her down like it had the others and his interests had wandered elsewhere. 

   â€œWhom do you address dearest master?”  Nynave asked rhetorically.  “Is it I you love or did you mean Morgana?”

   â€œYes Merlin is it I you love or were you addressing poor Vivien.”  Morgana smiled sickly and both jilted lovers stepped aside so he could see what their vengeance had wrought.

   Vivien lay dead.  She had been stripped naked and staked to the ground. They had brutalized her to death.  Merlin wrenched his body furiously but is was no use.  His whole body was encased in an iron cast.  “That was not necessary”  he said tiredly.  At least they hadn't killed Niniane, his most recent infatuation.

   â€œPerhaps not, but it was delightfully fun and we had to do something while we waited for you to wake up. Plus we needed the blood of a witch.”  Nynave smiled over to Morgana and Morgana picked up the helmet and placed it over Merlin's head. 

    As his eyes lined up with the helmet's visor he saw Nynave slit Morgana's throat.  “And the blood of two witches is better than one,”   She cackled merrily .  Nynave took both her hands; her left was bloodied with Morgana's blood and her right with Vivien's.  “I stood beside you for a thousand years while you hid away.  Then after your children had all warred and died and we finally return, you leave me for these strumpets!  Goodbye Merlin, I would have given you the world once..  Now I'll keep it for myself,”

   Nynave leaned forward and placed her bloodied hands on either side of the tree behind him.  While whispering the proper words she pulled the trunk around him, locking him in the tree forever.


                  *   *   *
   
   He had been trapped inside the great tree for an eternity.  At first he had went mad.  Unable to move, unable to see or hear anything and completely cut off from magic .  Slowly though as the time passed by in complete solitude he began to sense something within reach.  It was almost imperceptible, a new force that felt completely alien and unresponsive.  Eventually he began to understand the force  he felt.  It was the mind of the tree or the tree's equivalent.  More than that though Merlin realized it was a keystone to all magic.  The great tree's mind was a link between the nether and the ether.  Trapped as he was he could access neither directly but through the tree's mind incrementally Merlin began his escape.
   

                  *   *   *

   Arthur galloped out of the shadows speeding ahead of his sister to lead the charge against the Empress's prison guards.  As he closed in on the enemy he could sense that something was wrong.   The guards were stepping aside,  and the prisoners -were not prisoners.  They were mages,  Arthur swallowed as the chains binding them fell free.

   â€œFall back!”  He cried veering to the left, but it was to late .  He could see the fire coming and he dove from his saddle.   His sister had fallowed suit landing half on top of him. He rolled over her to protect her as the fire swept over. 

   Men and horses screamed in the fire.  Arthur jumped to his feet and dragged his sister Madeline with him as the fire passed.  “Back to the forest” he called as they ran.  Only a handful ran with them zigging and zagging to dodge bolts of fire and arrows.
   
   As they came to the forest Lancelot rode out of the trees swinging and it all made sense.  Lancelot had betrayed them.  The traitors blade bit John's head in half but Sam managed to roll clear.  Lancelot left him there and made strait for Arthur and his sister. Madeline was already in her trance, calling to the shadows in the forest to hide them.  With mages so close it took her full concentration.  Hounds were baying, the enemy from behind was closing in. 
   
   Arthur had no choice but to hurl his sword like it was a dagger.  It was a well balanced blade and he would miss it.    It had served him faithfully for years and its last use was no different.  The blade sank deep into the chest of Lancelot's steed sending the betrayer tumbling as it crashed dead on its feet.   

   Arthur tipped his sister onto his shoulder and ran into the shadows of the forest.
                  
                  *   *   *

   The acorn fell to the ground from the great tree and a squirrel quickly gathered it up.  Then a  falcon swooped in and gathered up the squirrel.  The bird flew off toward the forest with its prize.


                  *   *   *

   Madeline screamed as something smashed down the front of her dress.  She quickly covered her mouth as her brother Arthur glared back at her.  “What is it now?”  Her brother said sternly, but quietly.  “Another spider Madeline?  They will kill us if they find us!”

   â€œSomething hit me! Its not my fault you trusted him,  I never trusted that pervert.”  Madeline retorted quietly as she reached down into her adequate cleavage.  “Look! Its an acorn”  she said quickly cutting off one of her brothers scathing reply's.

   â€œWow, no way, lets scream and tell Empress Nynave!”  Arthur said snidely, “and he brought ten good men with him, brave men who died along with us back there!”

   â€œArthur there are no oak trees”  Madeline said, trying to change the subject.  Her brother looked around but shook his head.

   â€œI don't care Madeline throw it away or eat it but shut up before they find us.”   He was done, now.  Too exhausted from running to argue. That suited her just fine, her brother argued intolerably.  Unknowingly she tucked the acorn back between her bosoms.

   They walked on, heading ever deeper into the forest. 

                  *   *   *

   Arthur suddenly stopped and turned on his sister.  “What are you doing?”

   His sister looked lost, “I wasn't doing anything.”

   â€œYou we're muttering something, speaking in tongues”

   â€œNo, I don't believe I was.”  His sister looked scared.  “Don't look at me like that.”

   Arthur relented, but he kept listening as they walked on.  They had successfully evaded their pursuers and he was no longer in a rush.  They needed to save their energy.

   â€œ..alakazam alakazoo abra kadabra!”

   â€œWhat-”  Arthur turned around suddenly and Madeline screamed

   -but not at him, she was digging fiercely at her bust.  Something was bulging and getting bigger.  His sister shook her dress vigorously and an acorn bigger than his fist fell out of her skirts and it was still growing.  “I thought I told you to-”

   â€œ-Eat it?  Ya that would have been ingenious brother.”  Madeline said pointing to the object that was now the size of a pumpkin. 

   Arthur held his dagger at the ready while his sister drew her bow.  The acorn stopped    anticlimactically when it was waist high.  Brother and sister shared a glance but they did not let down their guard.

   Bang!  They were both thrown back deafeningly as the acorns cap blasted skyward. 
   
   Arthur climbed to his feet as a naked man emerged from the smouldering shell.  Arthur was ready to attack but the stranger held up his hand.  “Bigger. Problems.”  he said gagging on smoke while pointing in the direction of baying hounds.  “I can help.”

   Before Arthur could reply the man set his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes.  Soon after wards sounds of battle echoed through the forest.  Between flashes of mage fire they heard the horrible sounds of dogs turning on each other and their owners.  Then the screams of men burning and the sounds of iron on iron and iron entering flesh and those accompanying screams.  Then finally silence.

   The naked man opened his eyes.  His eyes were the deepest of blue. Arthur knew at once who this man was and he was not happy.
                  
               *   *   * 

   Madeline had seen it all. Had felt the subtlety of this mans sorcery as he bent their pursuers minds into such a frenzy that they killed each other off.  It was a quiet form of magic akin to what she  used to manipulate shadows.   When he finally opened his eyes Madeline almost melted.  They were so blue.  Bluer than her own and her brothers combined and he was so handsome.  Taller then her brother but not as brood, and he was naked.

   â€œMerlin”  Her brother said the name like a curse.  “Madeline get behind me.”  It was an order. Madeline hated being ordered.

   â€œHe saved us Arthur”  She protested as she moved to where she was told; but only to regard him behind her brothers back.  He was slender but well built, very well built.  Madeline smiled and Merlin smiled back.

   â€œDon't smile at her like that!”  Arthur shouted.  “Its disgusting, she is your grand daughter!”

   â€œSo that's why she's so pretty. Madeline is it?” Merlin asked ignoring her brother.

   Before she could answer Arthur cut in.  “No, You do not use her name, if you talk to her again I will cut off your incestuous cock.”

   Merlin laughed in her brothers face.  “Incestuous, that's just semantics, after all I'm everyone's great great something.”

   Arthur laughed mockingly.  “So your claiming to be the father of humanity Merlin?”

   Merlin waved a dismissing hand.  “No, Gaia had six sons, Atum, Cronus, Pangu, me-”

   â€œ-Ha”Arthur cut in “So we're supposed to believe your Gaia's, the Earth Mothers son.”     

   Merlin crossed his arms, impatiently waiting to continue.  “Gaia bore six son's and then in turn we six gave her many more children-”

   â€œThat is even more disgusting!”  Arthur spat to ward off evil.  “Having sex with your own mother!”  Madeline had to agree, frowning she averted her eyes, for a moment.

   â€œYou know nothing, Gaia takes many forms, the flesh I made love to was paler, like ours.  She was younger, slenderer, yet soft in all the right places.  She was beautiful and she was insatiable”  Merlin's eyes wandered in blissful reminiscence before snapping back to reality.  “Completely different from the gaia who birthed me.”   

   â€œBut still very much incestuous”  Arthur righteously declared holding his dagger purposefully.

   â€œNevertheless, Boy”  Merlin said stepping forward. “It is where you came from. I might not be the father of mankind, but I can and do claim the Celts as my own.”

   Her brother scowled.  “It matters not, you seduced our grandmother Niniane Pendragon, princess of the realm, while she was betrothed.  You destroyed her life.”

   Merlin was unmoved.  “Aside from the obvious, had I not been trapped in a tree, that would not have happened.  This is all Nynave's fault.” 

   There was only one person her brother blamed more than Merlin, and that was the Empress Nynave.  “So what will you do to make things right old man.”  Her brother used the term as an insult but Merlin looked only slightly older than her brother.

   â€œI would kill her and place the rightful ruler upon the throne.”

   Her brother smiled.  “How”

   Merlin whispered but one word.

   â€œBetrayal”

               *   *   *


   The first part of the plan involved a body.  The boys were searching the fallen soldiers for a suitable candidate while Madeline took care of the food.
   
   Merlin had found a corpse with the right build and they now carried it back to camp.  “You can't expect her to fall for this?”  Arthur asked looking down at the dead body.  His hair was wrong his eyes were the wrong colour, the nose was crocked and his beard was all patchy.   

   â€œWhy not? He looks just like me.”  Arthur looked again and almost dropped the corpse.  The  resemblance was now uncanny right down to the blue eyes full of life.  “As long as  I-”  Arthur really did drop his end of the corpse when it talked up to him with Merlin's voice.

   Merlin dropped the illusion and the corpse returned to normal.  “-As long as I stay close no one will be the wiser.”  The young man still looked unsure.

   â€œYour sure she won't see through the magic.”

   Merlin sighed.  “Its not that kind of magic, its like what your sister does.”

   â€œShe calls the shadows”

   â€œNo she doesn't, she makes people think its darker, wherever your hiding she puts a blind-spot in their eyes. Instead of doing that I'm going to make them see this poor fellow as me.”

   â€œStill if things should go wrong, then what?”  Arthur said play-fighting with his dagger.

   â€œAh”  Merlin said, “let me see that.”

   Arthur handed him the dagger. “Show me your sword arm.”  Arthur did as he asked and Merlin sliced open his palm.

   â€œGods!”  Arthur cursed. 
   
   â€œQuiet boy! Do not waste the blood, pour it over the dagger, yes.  Now come here.”  Merlin pulled him over to a waste high boulder.  “coat the stone and keep it coming.”   Merlin held up his dagger and began speaking in tongues

   Arthur was getting light headed and began to sway but he didn't miss it when Merlin suddenly plunged the dagger into the stone burying the handle.  Arthur shook his head.  “Its gone, what good  is that?”

   â€œStop being a dammed fool, reach in there and take it back, or better yet take the sword you really want.”   Arthur was a bit queasy but he reached out and felt the stone, sure enough it was solid.

   Merlin muttered a string of curses under his breath and grabbed Arthur's still bleeding hand.  “Picture your sword boy, picture your sword the way you always wanted it.”  Merlin flicked him in the forehead.  “Close your eyes boy and picture your sword.”   The wizard said impatiently. 

   Exhausted, Arthur went along with it.  He pictured the sword he had lost the day before. The one that had saved them and slayed Lancelot's horse.  In his memory the sword was longer, and lighter.  In his imagination it was stronger and sharper and it had a grip made of sharks gut.  The pommel was gold and it was in the shape of a dragons head the dragon looked-

   Merlin slammed his hand downward  “Don't look!  Take the hilt, take it.”  Arthur's hand felt like it was in stew but he reached around and grabbed hold.  “Now pull it out!”  Merlin cried.

   Arthur tried but the blade was stuck.  He tried again but it would not budge.  “Pull boy! Did you think it would be easy?”  Arthur rolled his shoulders, bent his knees, squeezed the grip and pulled.  He pulled on the handle like it was the boulder and the boulder was trapping his sister in a burning house.  Arthur stumbled backwards as the blade came free now light as a feather.  Arthur looked at the sword.  It was the perfect blade, just as he had pictured it. 

   â€œGood, now put it back until you need it.”  Arthur looked up at Merlin as if he'd gone mad.  Merlin snapped his fingers and the sword flew to him.  He slammed it into another rock and it disappeared.  Then he walked over and pulled it out of a tree before slamming it into the forest floor. Then he pulled it back out a few steps later and slammed it back down.  “Give it a shot, reach in and grab it.”

   Arthur closed his eyes and plunged his sword arm into the earth.  Remembering the battle he had retrieving the blade last time he went in full strength and came up armed with more than a smile. 

   â€œLunch is ready”  Madeline called.  Arthur reluctantly sheathed his sword in a tree and went back to the corpse

                  *   *   *
   
   Madeline didn't care for this plan.  It wasn't heroic or brave in the least.  The worst part was she was the one watching the ever rotting corpse.  She had to concede though, that so far the plan was working splendidly.  When they made the rode soldiers came upon them.  Arthur invoked the right of parley while she held the dagger to Merlin's(the corpse's) throat. 

   After that they were escorted right into the castle where Nynave met them in the courtyard.  Merlin was trailing them a few steps back hiding in plain site dressed as any other mage.  Madeline still held the blade to the corpses throat.

   â€œSo you wanted to parley?”   Nynave asked snidely.

   â€œYes”  Arthur said bowing.  “We come to make peace.  As a gesture of good faith, we bring you your lost prisoner.”  Rising he ripped the bag from the corpses head.

   Nynave's cackled.  “So it is true you do have him, when I heard I checked the tree.. but how, how could you two brats capture Merlin.”

   Now it was Madeline's turn.  Merlin had made her repeat this story over and over.  “He,”  Madeline started shyly “He wanted me.”

   The Empress looked confused “And you resisted his charms?”  She asked disbelievingly.

   â€œNo,”  Madeline said before adding “yes. Not at first but, but he's my grandfather I couldn't.. So I gave him poisoned spirits.”

   Empress Nynave smiled.  It was a story she could relate to.  “Why did you bring him to me child?”

   Madeline didn't want to over do it but she could not stop the tears from falling.  He looked so real.  “We tried to kill him, we tried everything.. He can't die, he can't die and he'll come for me I know it!”  Madeline said the words as a lie but deep down she knew they were true.  Merlin would come for her.  She would not say no,  she would be as cursed as all his other women to follow the same path.

   For her part the Empress actually looked sympathetic for a moment.  “You did the right thing darling, but still, you'll both have to die.  Guards!”  The Empress ordered.  Madeline and Arthur were quickly surrounded.  Lancelot stood in front, sword at the ready with a serpentine smile on his thin lips.  Arthur's fingers were digging between the courtyards cobblestones.

   â€œHold!”  Nynave shouted looking confused.  “Bring them along first, they might as well watch”  The Empress sounded unsure but she quickly recovered and led the way to her secret garden.  Lancelot couldn't resist  giving Arthur a cheap shot to the guts.  While Arthur recovered he whispered to Madeline with a wink “I hope she keeps you alive a little longer, so we might enjoy your company.”  Madeline bit her tongue till she tasted blood.

   When they arrived in front of the great tree the Empress ordered the guards to nail Merlin's body to the tree.  For his part Merlin made the body moan rather convincingly.  “How did he come to you children?” 

   â€œAn acorn Milady”  Madeline said kneeling face down. 

   â€œShe is your empress!”  Lancelot said before kicking her in the stomach.

   â€œThat is enough Captain.  An acorn you say?”  The Empress cackled.  “You were always such a clever man Merlin, it was too bad you always thought of your cock first.  Only out one day and it already landed you in trouble.”  The empress had walked up and was now pinching the illusions face.  “Well we can fix that”  She said reaching down but something made her stop.  She stood for a moment looking confused again.  “We can fix that”  she continued, “no more acorns, no more leaves, no more branches.”  Nynave was laughing hysterically “Witches, bring me witches blood!  It was good seeing you again Merlin.”

   Madeline watched amazed as the Empress pulled the trunk around the body. She then walked  back ten paces and reached into the dirt still speaking in tongues.  The ground started shacking terrifyingly.  Stones fell as whole ramparts collapsed but the Empress would not desist.  Finally the Empress stood holding the tree roots and all.  “Goodbye. Merlin”  She said grunting under the strain.  With a deep breath she tossed the great tree into the air where it flipped and landed back in its hole upside down with a crash.

   As the dust settled Nynave whispered “what have I done?”

                  *   *   *

   Merlin was very relieved when it was finally over.  Keeping the charade up for the journey was tiring but manipulating Nynave had taken all of his willpower.  Now the charade was over and Merlin started laughing out loud at the foolish woman who had dared to trap him in a tree. 

   â€œWho is laughing! Kill that man!” Nynave shrilled.

   â€œI think not Sweet-ems”  Merlin said stepping forward the empress shrieked like a child in fear.  She raised her hands to cast a spell but nothing happened.  “You fool, you severed the bridge when you flipped the tree.  Your powerless.”

   â€œThen so are you, Archers” The empress called.  “Kill this one first.”

   Merlin glanced around focusing his mind.  The archers turned about and shot each other.  “What?”  Nynave said astonished “Guards kill them all!”  She called as she ran.

   Merlin turned his mind to the guards and they turned on each other. Controlling the minds of men was much simpler than that of a tree. 

   â€œNo!”  Arthur demanded  “leave them to me.  Go take care of the Empress” 

                  *   *   *

   Madeline had called the shadows as soon as the fighting started.  She had learned that she was not actually calling the shadows but that is still how she thought about it.  The guards had rushed in upon her brother thinking Arthur was unarmed.   They were very surprised when he reached down and  pulled his sword up from the cobblestone at the last second.  He had deemed the blade Excalibur and he flashed the blade right around him deflecting their blows and driving them back. 

   â€œAttack”  Lancelot shouted.  “Shields up! He's just one man.”

   Arthur didn't wait for them to close in. He dove at the closest guard driving Excalibur  through the mans shield.  He buried the hilt in the shield and the blade in the guards belly and left it there as he headed for the next guard. 

   Her brother moved like a wolf, avoiding the mans sword he punched into his shield and pulled out Excalibur slicing the mans chest open as he withdrew.

   Madeline could see Lancelot circling around trying to stab her brother in the back.  She moved in keeping the shadow's with her she moved to hobble his ankle with the dagger Merlin had helped her conceal.  Lancelot jumped at the last second, somehow sensing her.  He turned to her and Madeline ran summoning the shadows.

                  *   *   *

   Arthur caught a glance of his sister running from Lancelot.  Arthur's blood went cold.  “Coward!” he called, but the betrayer did not stop.  Five guards remained.  Arthur flung his sword at the first.  Without watching the kill he reached down into the cobbles and withdrew Excalibur in time to block another guards attack severing his sword at the hilt.  Before the second guard could recover he cut the man in half, shield and all.

   After seeing this and seeing their captain flee the remaining guards abandoned the fight.  Arthur ran after his sister.  She could still use her magic because it didn't require nether or ether.  Arthur didn't know what that meant but that is how Merlin explained it when he told them his plan.  His sword would still worked because it was mystically bound to him he was told.  The magic came from within and not without.

   There was an open door in the corner of the garden that led into the cookhouse.  Arthur followed a trail of pots and pans out into the servants dining room where he saw Lancelot heading into a stairway he ran after him.

   â€œCome back and fight me you wretch.”  Arthur called as he flew up the stairs.  He did not stop when he came to the open doorway and he ran through only noticing the strange shadow when it was too late.

                  *   *   *

   Madeline ran up the stairs and out the door onto the rampart.  She could hear Lancelot behind her as she climbed onto a battlement nestled in the towers shadow.  She was focusing her mind on concealing herself when she noticed Lancelot was no longer chasing her.  He was waiting for someone coming up the stairs.

   Arthur.  Madeline acted instantly but she was too late.  Lancelot was already swinging when she dove onto his back thrusting her dagger into his throat.   She watched Lancelot's sword cut into her brothers belly and she stabbed him again pulling the traitor to the ground.  She saw her brothers blood on his blade and she stabbed him again and again crying as the blood splashed into her eyes.

   She stabbed and stabbed until someone stopped her.  “Its alright.”  She looked up, it was her brother. “Only a flesh wound Sis, a few broken ribs but the armour took the worst of it.”  Her brother smiled down at her and Madeline hugged him until he moaned “broken ribs Sis.”

   She released him feeling sorry but he wasn't looking at her. He was looking up at the top of the tower. Where Merlin was dangling the Empress over the battlements by her neck.

               *   *   *

   â€œAt least tell me how you did it, you owe me that.”

   â€œI owe you nothing, you knew exactly what you were getting into and you chose to come along.”  Merlin squeezed her neck tighter and watched her eye's bulge.

   â€œI was young then.”  She croaked and Merlin lessened his death-grip.  He could afford to listen. He could hold her out here all day. “I was a fool. I was in love. You used me up and made me barren and tossed me away like a whore.”

   â€œI told you you would bare me no children.  Cronus was at war with his children, a war he lost.  The same fate befell Atum and the others.”  They had had this fight a hundred times but he supposed he could have it one last time. “My children planned to overthrow me so I left for Avalon.  I told you I'd sire no more heirs and I told you I would make no commitment after Avalon.”

   â€œBut it was a thousand years, It took a thousand years for the last of your children to die.  You are immortal. It was easy for you to start over, but I got older.  I couldn't start over. Why couldn't you have just waited for me to die!”

   Merlin had had enough of her whining and he dropped her.  Her scream did not last long.  He supposed he should have killed her when they returned from Avalon, but she had not deserved it.  Nynave had been a wonderful companion throughout his absence.  It was only when they returned from Avalon and his eye's started to wander when things got nasty.  She had had enough when he started things with Morgana and left him.

   Merlin didn't want to think about any of that and he was glad to see Madeline and her brother waiting for him below.  “So what happens now?”  The brother asked.

   â€œI guess your King”  Merlin replied while looking at Madeline.  “Are you ready my darling?”

   â€œYes” she replied and Merlin took her hand.

   â€œMadeline”  her brother called to her, but she was not listening. She was his now, his until he grew tired of her.

[Ponch]

I'm glad Chef made the deadline, but I won't. I'm just too busy at the moment. Heck, this is the first time I've logged onto the forums in four days. Good luck to the writers!

[Adeel]

My trope is Weakness Turns Her On. This story is based on a true story and is somewhat lengthy (but this time carefully edited).

YOU DON'T KNOW YET ITS LOVE

        Slim, slightly short than the rest of the children in his class and having somewhat weird walking style were his qualities. Edwin was called a nerd and foolish in his class. However, he was an intelligent boy and also had been taking 1st Position since one class / grade. Edwin had reached fourth class / grade now but still he lacked the common sense and was unable to calculate the outcome of his decisions; while his class fellows were much ahead of him.

   Jealousy, you have to earn it. Edwin had earned it for himself by continuously taking 1st position and thus gaining the sympathy of teachers. His class fellows especially boys used to bully him, particularly Edward and Solomon but this poor boy foolishly used to trust them all and even considered Edward his fast friend.

   One fine day, he heard news from a fellow girl, Mercedes (who didn't bully him), that her cousin was going to take admission in fourth grade/class. Edwin then waited for the day she would join so that he would at last see a new face in class and hoped that she wouldn't bully him.

   At last, the day came. Mabel was not the most beautiful thing on the earth but Edwin found her to be quite pretty. Seeing her, Edwin got embarrassed because he was too shy.

   But one day he gathered enough courage to talk to her in private and offered his hand for friendship. She, thinking for a second, accepted it. However, Edwin warned her not to behave 'too friendly' with him in the class otherwise class fellows will get suspicious.

   After this incident, Mabel started to act rather coldly with him. Surprised, Edwin confronted her alone and said, "You don't have to be this cold with me in front of everyone. What I meant to say was: We should not be too friendly otherwise they (class fellows) will take it wrong”. Mabel agreed.

   Now that Mabel was friendly. Edwin got delighted because he was seeing her as his true friend. Sometimes, he would sit beside her on the same bench. Edwin was infamous in his class for not sharing his things with others but he surprised everyone by sharing his possessions with Mabel.

   Whenever the teacher was absent from classroom owing to some reasons. Edwin talked to no one but Mabel and his cousin, Mercedes. But deep down, Mabel was the only important person for him and he only wanted to talk with her. Soon Edwin and Mabel became close friends.

   It is said that no boy and girl can remain fast friends without any one of them developing the affection towards other. Similarly, Edwin had started to develop feelings for Mabel. But he didn't know about it himself. This was the purest form of love, free from all the materialistic desires. Mabel liked him too and Edwin was sure of it. What the extraordinary thing was that she liked this bullied, weak & nerd: Edwin. Maybe, his weakness, his innocence turned her on and she got attracted towards it while the others used to laugh it off.

   Mabel had then started to compliment Edwin for his style. Edwin, at most of the times would keep his left hand in his pocket and she liked it. Once, Edwin drew a sketch imagining how he would look like in future when he would grownup and Mabel saw it with great interest. She even asked him to give his sketch to her. He immediately agreed, pleased with himself.

   She had not given her cell phone number to anyone in the class and even tried to shrug it off, when Edwin had asked first. But on his second request, she gave her cell number to him but the shy boy, while delighted to get her number, never called or texted her.

   Although Mabel would talk to other class fellows as well but she preferred to talk to Edwin and he also would not waste his time to make her only talk to him. Together they laughed and complimented each other; she told him her stories and he would listen with attention.

   Up to the present day, there are two semesters in Edwin's (former) school. First Semester was near. But what he didn't know was that his worst fear had come true. Class fellows seeing them this close together, started suspecting them. Behind their backs, they discussed whether an "affair" is going on between Edwin and Mabel or not. Edward resolved to ask Edwin his opinion on this matter.

   One month later, first semester's result was announced and as usual, Edwin had got 1st position in the class and hence he was very happy. Mabel wasn't present at that day. Edward, who was sitting beside Edwin, used this as an advantage and asked him his feelings about Mabel. Edwin under the delusion of his achievement, spilled out his heart foolishly. Edward then told him as to how all the classmates were wondering whether there was an affair going on between him and Mabel. Edwin disregarded this and didn't understand the sensitivity of Edward's statement; foolish boy didn't know what was going to happen in the near future.

   A few days later, when Edwin was absent; Edward told the whole class what Edwin had confessed to him. Whole class was outrageous upon hearing this. In a conservative society, this was deemed as nothing but a sin, although this was a pure love but kids are, after all, kids and couldn't understand the difference.

Edward had already told Mabel what Edwin thought about her. She refused to believe and thought Edward was lying. To make her believe, Edward told her that the next day when Edwin is going to come, he will ask him again; he'll surely answer.

   Next day, Edwin came to school. Edward confronted him in a corner of the class and asked that whether he loves Mabel or not. Edward first denied but on the threat of reporting him to principal, he admitted, failing to realize that Edward couldn't report him since he had no authentic proof. Mabel was watching this and became quite furious. Edwin was unable to understand what was going on.

   Edward then went near to Mabel and whispered something in her ear. Edwin asked what he was whispering and he replied, “Yesterday, when you were absent. I had accidentally hit her while playing with ball in the class. Therefore, I am asking her to forgive me”. Edwin believed him, not realizing the fact that it was a white lie.

Edwin then asked her whether this was true but she refused to talk. After a while she said that I weren't expecting you to be so dirty minded and I am going to report you to principal.

   This made him quite frightened. Edwin immediately started refusing that he didn't like her but she wouldn't listen. Class reported Edwin to Annie, the science teacher. She scolded him but to his relief didn't report to the principal since she knew that he was a good student.

   Edwin was now being bullied even more than before. Some of the class mates had leaked that Mabel is the girlfriend of Edwin. Since he was popular in school for securing 1st position and often regarded by teachers as genius, other class mates were also somewhat jealous of him. This provided them an excellent topic to taunt him.

   Edwin somehow managed to bear all the taunts but he was hurt by the fact that Mabel was not talking to him. He wrote a letter explaining that how he had been framed and tried to give it to her but his class mates reported it to Miss Annie and she confiscated it.

   Edwin would always say to Edward that how he perceived her to be his best friend only and was only joking to him and he, Edward, had spread it everyone. Edward started feeling guilty and resolved to make Mabel talk to him.

   Days were passing, the taunts were becoming unbearable. Final Semesters were approaching fast. Few days before the final semester, Mabel began to talk to him but now they were strangers to each other. Although, they had started talking again but it didn't contain any of the warmth of friendship and love like it used to be before. It was pretty clear that Mabel was defamed because of rumors and wasn't going to forgive Edwin anytime soon.

   Soon the final semesters came. Edwin busied himself in studies and forgot about Mabel and all the taunts. When the results came, as usual, he had topped in his class.

   In the prize distribution ceremony, Edwin saw Mabel and went near him. She was quiet and sitting in a corner with her mother. Edwin wanted to say a lot of things to her. She looked like that she, too, wanted to say something. But he couldn't muster the strength mostly because of her mother sitting beside her and walked away quietly with the regret of saying nothing to her.

   A week or two later, Edwin came to know that Mabel had left the school forever. She had been defamed enough. Edwin had lost her. He had lost his best friend. He had lost his love. His own class fellows had taken away his only delight in the pool of depression.

   Years have passed since that incident but he isn't able to forget this incident up to this date. Although this incident was over but it would still haunt him; he was bullied and taunted same as before.

He also witnessed few years later as to how Edward proposed Hannah and got rejected. It's true, you get what you saw. Time was teaching Edward a bitter lesson and was taking the revenge for Edwin. He saw many ups and downs of his class. But he neither did nor could forget what damage his class had done and peacefully forgotten.

He has now graduated from school and has left all behind this with the school. He has moved on and definitely, Mabel has too. Edwin often wonders whether Mabel still remembers him or not and secretly hopes that they would meet again so that he could say sorry to her. Ask her to forgive for defaming her.

He still has this question in mind: Why? Why did they separate him even when he and Mabel weren't doing harm to anyone? Why didn't they tolerate the friendship and beginning of love between him and Mabel? After all, she was the one who had accepted him as he was, liked him from her heart. Only she was the one who had chosen this physically weak boy as compared to all the others. Edwin's innocence and foolishness had attracted Mabel and yet his innocence and foolishness had taken her away from him.

   One bitter truth Edwin has now finally realized. In this material world, nobody cares for spirit. Here, spiritual love is considered less than the materialistic love. Here, in the world of impurities: Pure love is always taken away while impure love i.e. love solely for materialistic desire is higly appreciated…

THE END

[Sinitrena]

Time's up.

We've got five entries:

kconan's AfroAssKicker
Armageddon's TrueArtIsIncomprehensible
Baron's The Trope Troop
Chef!'s Merlin
Adeel S. Ahmed's You don't know yet its love

And it is time to vote.
You have 3 votes for best story. You can distribute them however you want (3 points for one story, one point each for three stories, 2 points for one story, 1 for another). In addition, because everyone had a different trope, you have 1 vote for the best usage of the chosen trope.

Please vote until the 17th.

[Chef!]

Good stories all around. 

Gotta say I am not in love with the voting system.. 

Baron's Heist takes the cake even though the plan was miserably flawed and they didn't actually steal anything.  Baron gets 2 votes.

Kconan deserves props, that was a tricky trope and he pulled it off quite well.  Kconan gets 1 vote for Best use of trope.  (I'd give you two but that doesn't seem fair to Baron.)

Adeel's tragic love story showed me a world unknown.. on the one hand I'm glad there is a place out there where the kids are not all sexed up by middle school. On the other hand wherever the story was set took things way too far.  1 vote for Adeel

Sorry Kconan 4 vote system

[kconan]

Baron - 2 votes (best story)
Chef! - 1 vote (best use)
Adeel - 1 vote

[Ponch]

1) Kconan
2) Chef
3) Baron

Good reads all around. I wish I'd been able to finish my story in time, but I'm just working too much these last few weeks.

[Adeel]

Okay everyone. Here are my votes:

1) Baron
2) Kconan
3) Armageddon

Good Entries all around. Well done!

[Baron]

Phew, made it back to the internet before the voting closed!  I had printed off all the stories to read them while I was off the grid -that was a lot of paper, folks!  Here's my votes:

1) kconan (2 votes) -That story was pure awesome.  I love how it just wasn't based on tropes but clichés as well.  But the most impressive bit was your thorough research of jive-talk.  Great work.

2) Chef! (1 vote) -The interpersonal drama between Merlin and all his ho- I mean, sorry, kconan's story is still stuck in my mind -and all his women was a pretty interesting read.  I usually don't go for that combat fiction, but it was pretty interesting how the sword could be pulled out of any inanimate surface.

3) Adeel (1 vote -best trope) -I think it was a pretty courageous thing to pick this trope.  The rest of us could just joke around or bash in a bunch of heads, but his trope was a real challenge.  I agree with Chef! that it was hard, from a liberal Western up-bringing, to appreciate the social code that formed the backdrop of the story, but nevertheless I think it was a compelling and thoughtful story that he wrote.

[Sinitrena]

I'm a bit late with the results, sorry...

Ponch and Adeel, your votes don't line up with my voting system, at least not unambigiously. I took your 1) as 2 votes, your 2) as 1 vote and your 3) as vote for best usage of a trope. I am sorry if I misunderstood.

Nevertheless, here are the results:

First place goes to Baron: What a funny story and so many tropes. Well done!

Second place goes to kconan: Just as funny and a great way to use this trope. Thank you.

Third place is shared by Adeel S. Ahmed and Chef!: Both stories bring us to different worlds, one magic, one a - as Baron said - world with a different social code than our western one. Good work.


Interessting enough, every story recieved exactly one vote for best usage of the chosen trope. Complete tie in this category. Good job all around guys.

Baron, you're up for the next round.

[Baron]

 

Well, it was a good competition all around.  I thought the topic was clever and flexible, and the stories all worked with the topic in quite unique ways.  Congratulations to all participants, since we all equally won the "best use of trope" award.  Good work, and keep up the good writing.

As for subversion of the voting system, I'd like to take this opportunity to blame Ponch.   His radical libertarian politics and nationalistic phobia of hanging chads makes him extremely sceptical of innovations in democracy.  I vote 1.36 times for him to undergo a messy grass-roots version of the Ludovico Technique to be reconditioned as a line-toeing member of society.

Stand by for the next topic in the continuing saga of.....

THE FORTNIGHTLY WRITING COMPETITION!

[Adeel]

At last! My work is starting to pay me some reward!

Thanks to everyone who voted for me. Each and every story was an absolute piece of beauty. Congratulations to everyone. Congratulations to Sinitrena for choosing such a flexible topic owing to which we got to read different stories. Thanks to Sinitrena for extending the deadline.

Sinitrena, you have taken my votes as they were intended to be (sorry for not clarifying).

Chef! and I wouldn't mind sharing the third place, after all our stories are similar in a way . Just downloaded the trophy to keep it as a record.

Happy Writing & Reading!

[Gilbert]

Baron won? Stupid. There is nothing worth congratulating...



...except the fact that he is now a Grand Slam Winner!

Congratulations!

[kconan]

I'd like to dedicate my 2nd place victory to actor/badass Jim Kelly, who died recently.


Fun game!  Really good, diverse entries overall.  Congrats on the triple crown Baron!

[Ponch]

As for subversion of the voting system, I'd like to take this opportunity to blame Ponch.   His radical libertarian politics and nationalistic phobia of hanging chads makes him extremely sceptical of innovations in democracy.

I can't be bothered to read any rules regarding new voting procedures. I'm old and set in my ways! And it's hard to read when you never stop dancing!

Congrats to the winners and RIP Jim Kelly. I owned several of your movies on VHS when I was a kid. You were awesome, sir.