Fortnightly Writing Competition - WHODUNNIT! (Results)

Started by Baron, Wed 20/05/2015 04:30:13

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Baron

That's right folks, it's the FWC's own WHODUNNIT Competition!



Mysteries can take many forms, from missing biscuits to murder most foul, to weird sci-fi scenarios where psychics are harnessed to machines to predict crimes and cars self-drive in three dimensions, but the predictions of who the culprit is still come rolling dramatically down a Rube Goldberg marble run :P.  But it is considered one of the highest art forms of fiction to weave a mystery that is both solvable (if you can piece the clues together properly), and yet confounding to the vast majority of readers.  Your goal for this competition is to craft such a mystery according to the following criteria:

-Target of 1000-2000 words.  We don't disqualify you if you spill over slightly, but don't miss it by an order of magnitude.
-There must be hidden clues that point to the real perpetrator (but of course red herrings are very welcome as well)
-The perpetrator must not be revealed!  Instead we will guess WHODUNNIT?  at voting time, with the big reveal afterwards!

The criteria your work will be judged by will probably include:

-Best character (most believable, compelling, adorable, captivating, or mesmerizing)
-Best setting (best described/developed location for the mystery)
-Best word craft (stylistic marks for good word choice or turns of phrase)
-Best crime (be creative!  It's worth 20% of the votes!)
-Best mystery (the subtle weaving of clues and colour to make the story compelling to our sense of curiosity over WHODUNNIT?!?)

Deadline is midnight June 2, 2015, with voting to be started by me at some point the following day.  Good luck to all participants!  Get out there, and get writing! ;-D

JudasFm

Here's mine: 1991 words :) Packing it into such a small number of words was hard, but hopefully I scattered enough hard-to-spot-yet-solvable clues through it. I also have two questions: will all the entries have the big reveal, or just the winning ones? Also, will the big reveal be in story form, or just along the lines of, "Well, it was so-and-so who did it and you can tell because A said this but B said that..."

DEATH IN THE STARS

James Lawson, head of communications and second-in-command of the city-sized spaceship Nemesis, paced the bridge in an uncharacteristic display of anger, pausing only to let off epithets in his native Mercurian like verbal grenades.

"How the hell did this happen?" he demanded of no one in particular.

Cy, the captain of the ship, sighed.  "How many times?  We're still working on that."

"We need to work faster!  This is a public relations disaster!"

Cy raised a dark eyebrows.  "That's a rather odd view of the situation, don't you think?"

"Perhaps, but it's a realistic one.  The crew is going to kill us!"

"They've already had a pretty good try," Cy pointed out.  "Or had you forgotten that we're up here at three in the morning because our navigator got her head smashed in?"

"You know what I mean!" James threw himself onto his seat so hard he almost went over on his back.  Righting himself and glaring at Cy and weapons operative Amelia Crewe in a way that just dared either of them to comment, he went on in a slightly calmer voice.  "None of them wanted to let tourists in.  You didn't want to let tourists in.  I didn't want to let tourists in, only it seemed the only way to convince people that we're not the evil murderers that the government is making us out to be!  And now this!  Don't you think that it's a bit too convenient we've survived this long with no major crimes, and two days after a group of strangers come on board, we have a murder!"

"Then let's discuss it," Cy said.  "What about the tourists?  Where were they when this happened?"

"Two groups were in their rooms," Amelia answered.  "Three more were out with their guides getting breakfast at a diner on the rec-deck."

Cy paused.  "There's an elevator that goes to that floor opposite the...the crime scene, isn't there?"

James nodded slowly.  "Yeah.  But they'd have to sneak away from their guides to use it and that wouldn't be easy.  And I don't think they're responsible anyway."

"We'll see about that.  Which tourists were outside when it happened?"

"Neptunian Kanae Godai and her two nieces, age five and seven.  She worked for us as a freelance actress for six months.  I think we can rule her out.  I only assigned her a guide because she couldn't be seen to be without one."

Cy nodded.  The oldest member of the Nemesis's crew was twenty years old, and since they made their own films and dramas, older performers had to be found from outside.  Kanae Godai had been the first and was one of the very few outsiders considered a friend.

"A bunch of college students from Mars.  They've been a bit of a nuisance, but they're more annoying than dangerous.  And an elderly couple from Mercury, who have so far been very well behaved no matter how much provocation was thrown at them for being outsiders.  And there's been quite a bit, Cy; we really need to look into that."

"I'll deal with that after we solve the murder.  Who were the guides on the rec-deck?  Maybe they saw something."

James tapped a few buttons and scanned the results on his console.  "According to this, Ismene of Team MRXâ€""

"She's sound," Amelia interrupted.  "The only way anyone could sneak away from her would be to knock her out."

"â€"your friend Alec who's been looking after his fellow Martians â€" he's with the students I told you aboutâ€""

"It's not Alec either," Cy said immediately.  Alec's loyalty to him was beyond question.

"â€"and Tania Delarose of Team Gamma," James finished.  "She was the one with Kanae."

Cy paused.  "I don't know much about her.  Do you?"

James shook his head.  "No.  Team Gamma doesn't have any noteworthy members; they just get on with their jobs.  Four are cleaners, Tania herself works for CGT and the sixth member works in the dining hall under Fredrica.  The real question is, what would anyone have to gain from murdering one of the bridge crew?"

Cy massaged his forehead.  "Who found the body?"

"Race Palmer.  Team Ace.  He was pretty cut up about it.  Well, he would be; he and Paige had been going steady since before we arrived here."

"Right.  No chance he could have done it then?  Only we all know what he's like when he loses his temperâ€""

James sighed, swiveling around in his chair to face Cy fully.  "No.  Race's T-card was clocked on at six am, two kilometers away from where Paige was murdered.  She didn't clock on at all."

Cy leaned back, staring at the ceiling.  Six am was an earlier clock on time than most crew members, but there was nothing actually suspicious in that; by and large, people on the Nemesis set their own working hours.  "And there's no way he could have got to her in time to kill her?"

James was already shaking his head again before Cy finished the word and.  "Paige was killed at ten past six.  The only way Race could have got to her was if he hitched a ride on a cleaning machine, and he didn't.  I asked CGT â€" you know they have a monopoly on those machines â€" for the passenger records and Chelsea sent them up this morning.  No one bought passage on any machines until the beginning of the shift at eight am.  Besides, that corridor is pretty out of the way.  There were a couple of machines there, but it's not a good place to go if you want to guarantee finding them."

"So what was Race doing there?" Amelia demanded.

James shrugged.  "You tell me.  Maybe he needed some space to get his head together.  He wouldn't be the first who went to an empty sector for some peace and quiet."

There was a knock on the door and without waiting for an invitation, Race Palmer opened it and came in.

"I found this," he said, holding out a folded scrap of paper.  "I think it's something to do with the murder."

"Where did you get it?" James asked.

"It was in my box, so I thought I'd better bring it to you."

"Atâ€"" Cy checked his watchâ€" "twenty past three in the morning?"

Race looked down.  "I couldn't sleep.  Not after...you know.  Have you found anything out?"

"Not yet," James admitted, "but we're working on it."

Race turned and walked over to the exit, then paused and looked over his shoulder.

"It was one of the tourists," he said.  "I'm sure of it."

"Of course you are," Cy said wearily.  He'd spent the entire day dealing with crew members who were sure the killer was a tourist.  He could understand their reasoning; it was much easier to blame an outsider than to face the fact that one of their own could be capable of something like this.

Race's eyes narrowed a little, then he strode out without another word.  Cy waited until he was sure Race was gone before he turned to James.  "He hasn't ever been in the running for a job on the bridge, has he?"

James shook his head.  "No.  He used to work for CGT until Chelsea fired him for losing his temper with a customer.  Now he's something of a gofer."

Cy nodded.  The Nemesis was full of gofers, people who would do all sorts of odd jobs to earn the virtual tokens that served as the ship's currency.

"So it looks like we can rule him out.  But why would someone give him this note?"

James shrugged.  "To increase his suffering?  To ram the point home?  Or to make sure it found its way to us, maybe.  Our rooms are out of the way, so anyone there would be remembered.  Race and Paige's room was opposite the dining hall; it's one of the busiest places on the ship.  Anyone could have slipped that letter in.  What does it say, anyway?"

Cy unfolded it and started to read. 

Why did I want her dead? That Well, if you knew how much I hated Paige Kerr â€" how much everyone hated her â€" you wouldn't bother asking me that.  And She was the worst navigator you could have chosen.  I could have done a better job, even without any expertise.  So

Of course, if you expect me to tell you my name, you're out of luck.  I don't intend to make things that easy for you, nor and besides, the thought of the likely penalty punishment doesn't do a great deal for me.  Though

So, it looks as though you need a new navigator, huh?  Bet you wish you'd offered me the job when you had the chance.  Then Oh well; live and learn, as they say.  I know Paige won't couldn't do either, but I can't help that.  She And you know what?  I'm actually glad she's dead.  She was the most useless waste of oxygen on the Nemesis.  I don't know why you let her be navigator to at all.  Maybe now you'll get someone who's better at the job.  Like me, for example.  You

Actually, forget that; I know you wouldn't take a murderer.  Although personally, I think that's rather mean unfair of you, 'Cy', or whatever your full name is.  I don't notice you didn't object when your wonderful crew killed those people to keep everyone else safe. 

Oh, and I haven't left enough evidence for you to call Conclave on me.  So don't even try it.  You I wouldn't bother to answer the summons anyway, and that I know you can't send your hired lackeys to arrest me just because you want to.  And I also know that I haven't won't be the most popular person on the crew when you get this, but that doesn't matter to me.  Just telling you how much we hate some of your decisions about is enough for me. 

So Of course, if you really want to know who I am, well, you might be able to work it out from my letter.  Or Might.  I told you I don't plan to make it easy for you, or and I don't really care what you plan to do.  I'm not going afraid of you.  The rest of the crew may be, but that's not my problem.

-SK


"Who's SK?" James wondered.

"No idea."  The letter was handwritten, which was a rarity in itself in their day and age, but he supposed whoever did it hadn't wanted to risk being seen at one of the terminals.  Cy cast his mind back to that day two years ago, when they'd found themselves alone on the Nemesis.  "Who else was in the running for navigator?"

"That Neptunian in engineering, Ken'ichi Sawada.  And you as good as said he'd replace Paige as navigator if anything happened to her, since his father was a navigator as well.  Selena Mount â€" well, sort of.  She just wanted a position of authority.  She seemed happy enough to be made head of security instead.  Amalla Firenze.  Harriet Phillips.  Oh, and Samara King from Team Diamond; she was another favorite.  Her father worked on the bridge crew of one of the big liners, that's why I remember her."

Cy's interest perked a little.  "Navigation?"

"Radio comms.  She was pretty disappointed to learn that job was already taken."

"Where is she now?"

James tapped at his console, then shrugged.  "No idea.  The last time she clocked on was the day before the murder.  There's been no trace of her since then."

Cy took a deep breath, held it until spots started to flash in front of his eyes, then let it out very slowly and returned his attention to the note.  There was something there...something he was missing.  Something that would give him the key to the whole thing.  He knew it.

He just didn't know what it was yet.

Baron

Wow!  Impressively fast word-slinging!  Remind me not to insult-duel with you at dawn.... ;)

Quote from: JudasFm on Wed 20/05/2015 15:12:16
I also have two questions: will all the entries have the big reveal, or just the winning ones? Also, will the big reveal be in story form, or just along the lines of, "Well, it was so-and-so who did it and you can tell because A said this but B said that..."

I was envisaging just a "it was so-and-so" after all the votes were cast and everyone had a stab at guessing the culprit (part of the voting process ;)).  But if you're really feeling energetically creative, a continuation story reveal would be perfectly acceptable.  Hopefully all contributors will do a reveal in one form or another: there's nothing more frustrating than an unresolved cliffhanger . :P

JudasFm

Thanks :-D And I will definitely do a reveal, probably as a continuation story. Writing is my life ;-D

WHAM

I started writing, got first of my six story segments done and found I had written 1200+ words.
I think I'll scale the story back a bit and try again...
Wrongthinker and anticitizen one. Utterly untrustworthy. Pending removal to memory hole.

Mandle

Quote from: JudasFm on Wed 20/05/2015 15:12:16
Here's mine: 1991 words :) Packing it into such a small number of words was hard, but hopefully I scattered enough hard-to-spot-yet-solvable clues through it.

Nice read! I'm pretty sure I know whodunnit... I guess I will see at voting time if I'm right ;)

JudasFm

Thanks, I'm so glad you liked it :-D I've already written the continuation story for when the time comes, so you'll find out for sure after voting.

Baron

One week left, folks.  Keep those mysteries pouring in! ;-D

Mandle

Quote from: Baron on Wed 27/05/2015 02:21:47
One week left, folks.  Keep those mysteries pouring in! ;-D

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

I might have one:

QuoteInspector Callum Beaux looked over the only witnesses involved in the brutal basement bashing murder of Steven Sloggins:

His eyes scanned from left to right and he asked each the same question:

"Where were you between 6:00PM and 9:00PM the night of the murder?"


Guy George replied: "I was suppos'd to be at the pub drinkin' with Steve and Marv by 8:00PM but they never showed up did they? I'm now shattered to find out that Steve's dead."

Lady Lentil replied: "I did see some footprints in the snow that led to the basement window of the residence. I tried looking through the window and saw what looked like an empty basement at about 7:30PM. I do remember though that a dog barked at the headlights of a car turning nearby..."

Kevin Kline replied: "I just happened to be out for a drive while yelling "ASSSHOOLE!!" out the window at all the assholes driving on the wrong side of the street when a dog darted out in front of my car. The owner yanked the dog back in by its lead just in time. This happened around 7:30PM...

Marvin Masters
replied: "At around 8:30PM I tried looking into Steve's basement window after he did not answer the door. The light was on so I wiped the condensation from the window and looked inside but there was nothing to see."

Henry Higgins
replied: "I walked my dog past the residence at around 7:00PM. I saw no footprints in the snow. The basement window light was off."

Mary Masters
replied: "I was out looking for my husband around 8:00PM when I heard a strangled cry and ran back home to call the police! I also remember dog tracks in the snow all around the scene after the police arrived. I don't know if it was the flashing red lights from their cars or not but I remember thinking that the dog tracks looked like they had blood in them..."

Inspector Callum Beaux scanned his eyes back from right to left and announced:

"Based on the witness testimony I have solved this case. The murderer is..."

JudasFm

Quote from: Mandle on Wed 27/05/2015 15:13:14
STOP THE PRESSES!!!
I might have one:
Ooh, interesting (nod) I think I've narrowed it down to two possible suspects, leaning far more in favor of one than the other...

Sinitrena

I'm so bad at figuering out whodunnits. I have no real idea yet for either JudasFm's or Mandle's story. Hopefully, I'm better at writing them.

Lady Susanna‘s Necklace

„All of them were exited â€" for all the wrong reasons. I could see it in their eyes. And yes, I admit, I'm being unfair here and exaggerating quiet a bit, but still. It really seemed to me that all of them thought more about the necklace than my sister and her groom. It wouldn't have been so bad if Rachel had worn the diamonds, but it was her mother-in-law and everyone was looking at her and admiring her. Hell, they fawned over her. The duchess had deigned to come to the wedding of her son personally and was even so gracious as to flaunt her most precious possession. Of course, Lord William and Lady Susanna were a bit down on their luck so she needed to affirm her richness in the eye of the people.”

“You really are being unfair, Benjamin. Lady Susanna went to the wedding of her son and wore expensive jewellery. There's really nothing wrong with that. And besides, you are telling me about the day her necklace was stolen and she was murdered. So whatever she might have done wrong in your eyes...”

“Oh, she's done plenty wrong, not just in my eyes.”

“You didn't like her.”

“That's an understatement if I ever heard one. But I especially didn't like the way people reacted to her and that it felt a bit like she was doing everything to demean Rachel, to show everyone that she wasn't good enough for her son.”

“That might have had something to do with you, Ben.”

“It might. But stop being so damn reasonable and let me vent, Tim.”

“It's still Inspector Coultry to you.”

“And here I thought we were friends. I'm hurt.”

“Sure. Tell me about the theft.”

"All right, all right. Well, the reception was held in a little seaside hotel. Very intimate, family-owned, romantic, lovey-dovey, in the middle of nowhere â€" you know the kind. And because it's winter, the sea is really not in season for tourists so we had the hotel to ourselves. Bride and groom, some family and some friends from farther away had booked rooms and most of us arrived a few days before the wedding. Lady Susanna and Lord William planned to stay for a few days ore after the wedding. Everything was just exquisite. Garden lights illuminated the gravel path to the entrance. The reception area was decorated with lace and white roses. The receptionist, who should have looked harried, was all smiles and wore the most beautiful and at the same time professional dress I'd ever seen. It was black, short-sleeved and ruffled over her B-cup breasts, knee-length...”

“You're being awfully detailed here and, if I'm not mistaken, sarcastic, too. Does any of this matter? At all?”

“It could. Didn't you tell me when you arrested me that every detail, even the smallest one, could be important to solve a crime?”

“And to commit one, as you'd successfully proven to me four days later.”

“I was completely innocent.”

“Of course you were. Is anything of this important?”

“No, of course not.”

“Jerk.”

“Same to you, thanks. Anyway, what is important is that the hotel not only has a lovely receptionist but also a small safe in an office right behind the reception desk. It's an Andres960, in case you're wondering.”

“I'm not familiar with that model.”

“Most important details: Cheap, so small that one man can carry it away if it's not bolted to anything, opens with a single key, and a professional needs about two minutes to pick the lock.”

“Do I want to know how you know that?”

“As if you don't know what an honest answer to that question would be. Not that you're getting one.”

“Of course not. So the necklace was stolen from the safe? Or was the whole thing taken?”

“Actually, according to the police, the necklace was ripped out of Lady Susanna's cold, dead hands.”

“So the safe has nothing to do with the crime? Damn it, Ben. Can't you stick to the actual facts of the murder for a moment?”

“Sure. As soon as you tell me what the facts are. What the police discovered? Because they found a necklace soaked in dried blood in my room and arrested me or murder! You think they have the facts? Then you can just leave! Or maybe you want to hear what Rachel thinks, or Peter, her husband? How about Lord William, who is absolutely certain that I murdered his wife, or maybe you're interested in Simone's opinion? She's the maid of honour. Or Frederick, the best man, or my parents, or Agnes, the cute receptionist I mentioned earlier. Or I could just tell you who did it, because I know it but can't tell you because you wouldn't believe me until you came to the conclusion yourself. What, prey tell, Inspector, are, in your opinion, the mere facts?”

“You swear that you didn't steal the necklace and kill Lady Susanna?”

“I never killed anyone.”

“All right. Let's assume for a moment that you are telling the truth. What happened that night?”

“Not much, except for a wedding, of course.”

“Ben...”

“Sorry. - I actually had a reason to mention the safe earlier, because it was stolen that night; taken whole and later found empty and locked some ways away from the hotel.”

“You're telling me two crimes happened that night?”

“At least. The police don't think so, though. They think I stole the safe, didn't find the necklace there and broke into Lady Susanna's room to get it from there. She surprised me, I killed her. End of story.”

“Simple.”

“But wrong â€" for so many reasons. Not the least one being that the necklace found in my room is a forgery, according to the police, and was covered in sticky blood.”

“I don't see the significance of it being a forgery. Unless it's a really bad one, you can't recognize a forgery on a glance.”

"No, I can't. But then, where's the original? Anyway, the theft of the safe was discovered first. I can tell you, Agnes has a pretty damn loud screaming voice for such a petite girl. As you can imagine, it being a small hotel and nearly empty, we all rushed to the reception when we heard her. All, except of Lady Susanna, of course. When she didn't turn up after a while, Lord William went to look for her. In case you're wondering: They were still married but they hadn't shared a bed in nearly twenty years. Their rooms in the hotel were adjoining, both of them with a door to the corridor and in addition a door connecting the two rooms. So that's why he didn't know sooner that she was murdered. Anyway, he opened the connecting door and, I can tell you, his scream was in no way inferior to Agnes's.”

“He had just found his murdered wife. It's understandable.”

“Of course it is. So we rushed through the hotel a second time this morning and were only momentarily stopped  by Lady Susanna's locked door. And then we saw her... It was awful. There was blood everywhere. She was covered in it. Someone had turned her over, rolled her around in her own blood, and that after she had apparently crawled to the door to escape. There was blood on the key in the keyhole, I think. But I couldn't look at it any longer and turned away. As you can imagine, the police were called. They were more interested in the murder than the theft of a hotel safe that seldom contained anything worth mentioning, of course. Who wouldn't be? They conducted a search of all the rooms and the area around the hotel, looking for any clue at all. They found the safe at the beach and the bloody necklace in my room and arrested me. Again, end of story for them.”

“It'll be difficult to prove your innocence, Ben.”

“Yes, thank you for stating the obvious. But I didn't do it and I know there must be something to prove it.”

“Okay. Tell me where everyone was that night.”

“Apparently all over the hotel and nearly nobody where he was supposed to be.”

“Ben.”

“Well, all the guests who didn't stay at the hotel had already left when Lady Susanna and Rachel got into an argument. I don't know about what. Rachel and Peter were the first to go to their room shortly afterwards. They were tired after all the stress of the last few days and just wanted to sleep.”

“Yes, I'm sure they were tired and wanted to sleep.”

“You want to think about the sex life of your sister, Tim? She's one sexy woman if I ever saw one; her perky breasts that show her nipples even through thick fabric, her sensual mouth. Just imagine this mouth kissing you, licking down your body, down, down, down your legs and up again, stopping in your crotch and then...”

“Stop it! Stop it, you made your point. Rachel and Peter were tired and needed to sleep. Got it.”

“Thank you. Well, Lord William left for bed next, followed by Frederick, than Gabriel and Hanna, my parents, than Lady Susanna. Simone and I left together, last. We wanted to finish the excellent port they had.”

“You didn't happen to go to the same room, did you?”

“No. No easy alibi for me. But it seems like Simone found some company in Frederick. At least, that's what Rachel says, who saw Fred sneak into Simone's room when she, Rachel, went down to the restaurant again to get some more champagne. Neither of them admitted to it, though. But Frederick mentioned that he saw someone going from my room to one on the opposite side of the hallway at some point during the night.”

“Who was on the opposite side of the hallway from you?”

“Either Lady Susanna, Lord William or my parents. Fred wasn't sure about the room or the person or the time. As for Agnes, the receptionist, she went to bed right after putting Lady Susanna's diamonds into the safe.”

“All of this doesn't look good for you.”

“I know. That's why I called you.”

“Is there anything else? Anything that could help you?”

“Well, there's one thing: Agnes was the only one more upset and worried about the stolen safe than the murder. She mentioned that they'd probably not noticed the theft of their cash for a few days if the thief hadn't taken the safe with him because they didn't need to open it very often.”

“Damn it, Ben, damn it to hell. I know who murdered Lady Susanna, I know how you know, and I know that you're a bloody idiot!”


-----------------------------------------------


1796 words.
More than one crime was commited it this story. Only telling us the murderer is not enough to solve the mystery.

Mandle

Awesome story Sinitrena!!!

I will have to spend some time combing through it for clues though because the first read was just so good that I forgot I was supposed to be solving something, which is the best distraction in a whodunnit: Good story and writing...The reader doesn't even realise they are being distracted into reading on at a furious pace and missing all the clues...

Well done!!!

Baron

Two more days!  Let's keep heaping the stories onto the pile, folks. ;-D

Sinitrena

Thanks, Mandle. I just hope the solution for the story will be satisfying.

And speaking of solutions, Baron: You want us to vote and speculate about the culprits at the same time, right? It's your decision, of course, but might I suggest that we guess whodunnit first, then reveal the true perpetrators and only then do the voting? It's just that I think I can only vote on the best mystery and best crime, for example, after I know how well the given clues match the intended solution.

JudasFm

Quote from: Sinitrena on Tue 02/06/2015 03:03:39
Thanks, Mandle. I just hope the solution for the story will be satisfying.

And speaking of solutions, Baron: You want us to vote and speculate about the culprits at the same time, right? It's your decision, of course, but might I suggest that we guess whodunnit first, then reveal the true perpetrators and only then do the voting? It's just that I think I can only vote on the best mystery and best crime, for example, after I know how well the given clues match the intended solution.

I admit I've been wondering about that as well, especially since I scattered several red herrings through my story ;) I second this suggestion.

(Also on a side note, I love your story, Sinitrena, but I can't begin to guess whodunnit!)

Mandle

Quote from: Sinitrena on Tue 02/06/2015 03:03:39
Thanks, Mandle. I just hope the solution for the story will be satisfying.

And speaking of solutions, Baron: You want us to vote and speculate about the culprits at the same time, right? It's your decision, of course, but might I suggest that we guess whodunnit first, then reveal the true perpetrators and only then do the voting? It's just that I think I can only vote on the best mystery and best crime, for example, after I know how well the given clues match the intended solution.

Yeah, I agree as well. It's a whodunnit so most of the enjoyment comes after you know if you were wrong or right about the solution.

I would suggest:

(1) Some time for people to post their theories on each story (using "hide" function so as not to spoil it too much for others)

(2) Some time for the authors to then post the reveals of their stories.

(3) Voting begins.

Baron

....And the submissions phase of our little competition is now officially closed.  Thank you to all of our contestants.  They are, in order of entry:

JudasFm with Death in the Stars
Mandle with Stop the Presses!
Sinitrena with Lady Susanna's Necklace

Now to the voting format.  The consensus seems to be to separate the voting from the guessing, and I never was one much for getting in the way of a consensus.  So, we will have 3 phases of post-competition interaction:

Phase 1 - Speculation (now to midnight Saturday): Try to guess whodunnit in each mystery, and why.  Using [ hide][ /hide] tags would be classy, but I'm not going to insist on it.  If you really don't know what other people are thinking, don't read past this post until you've come to your own conclusions! ;)

Phase 2 - Revelations (Sunday - Tuesday): The heavens will burn and the seas will boil and... wait, not that Revelations!  In this phase authors will reveal whodunnit, either as a continuation story or a "she did it, because of clue x, y and z".

Phase 3 - Voting (Wednesday - Friday): Specific voting criteria to be revealed when voting starts (but they'll probably be very similar to the ones in the OP).  Actually, if all the revelations are in early, we'll just start this early.

Sorry for drawing the process out, but it takes time to coordinate people from all over the internet.  So, to get started, start speculating! 

kconan

I read and reread JudasFm and Sinintrena's murder mysteries and I couldn't deduce jack squat.  Of course I want to blame Colonel Mustard or some monacled professor, but I blame me for being bad at whodunits.  Regardless I've made educated guesses as to "who" for both stories, but I've got nothing concrete for "why".

Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnn...

Spoiler

JudasFm w/ Death in the Stars
Who: James Lawson?
Evidence and Motive: I couldn't figure anything out...

Mandle w/ Stop the Presses!
Who: Marvin Masters!
Evidence and Motive: Marvin seems to be lying.  Mary can't account for her husband at 8:00PM, and that's when she heard a cry.  Marvin went poking around at 8:30pm supposedly, and if he was getting Steve to meet Guy at 8:00pm, then he was around Steve's place from 7:45pm to 8:15pm.  Uhhh...Steve was hooking up with Mary on the sly, and Marv caught wind?

Sinitrena w/ Lady Susanna's Necklace
Who: I'll pin the theft of the hotel safe and necklace on Ben.  And the murderer is...Lord William?
Evidence and Motive: I couldn't figure anything out...
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DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!

Sinitrena

All right, let's see. I'm fairly certain I have Mandle's figured out, but JudasFm's still has me stumped.

Mandle's Stop the Presses:

Spoiler
Steve and Marv were supposed to be in the pub by 8.00, so it seems strange that Marv is looking for his friend at 8.30, even though he never went to the pub and therefore never knew that Steve was late. He had no reason to be there at this time. In addition, he says that he didn't see anything in the basement, even though the murder happened at about 8.00, according to Mary (who also happened to look for her husband at that time, so he doesn't have an alibi) - I assume that that time is correct; the police would know about the time of the call, after all.
Therefore, I conclude that Marvin Masters killed Steven Sloggins (and that Kevin Kline is not a good driver - poor dog (wtf))
[close]


JudasFm's Death in the Stars:

Spoiler
I got an idea here, but it just seems way too obvious: The letter is signed SK. Of all the names mentioned, only Samara King and Ken'ichi Sawada match these initials. The letter claimes that the motive for the murder was basically jealousy, so it's logical to assume that someone who wanted her job was responsible. In addition, Samara hasn't clocked in since before the murder. The only problem with this solution is that I really don't believe it. I have a feeling that I miss something important in the letter, especially in the few words that are crossed-out, and I'd really like to know what the deal is with Cy NO LAST NAME, the incedent that found them without a navigator in the first place, and the incident when the crew killed people to keep other safe (as mentioned in the letter); Are those two incidents the same? Looking for a motive, I actually think Race would be a likely candidate: He is a gofer while Paige seemed to have a succesful career. There might have been tension between them.
As I said, this storie has me stumped. I still say it was Samara King, even though I think this is too easy.
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JudasFm

Warning to everyone: these are both very long ;)

Mandle's:

Mandle and I already speculated on each other's via PM, but I'll post my thoughts here too :)

Spoiler

I suspect Marvin Masters, for the following reasons:

"I tried looking into Steve's basement window after he did not answer the door."

1. What was he doing at Steve's house at 8.30 if he was supposed to be meeting Guy and Steve for drinks at 8pm? And Guy himself said that neither of them showed up, so Marvin couldn't have gone to look for Steve. And if Marvin was running late, why didn't he phone Guy?

"so I wiped the condensation from the window"

2. This is the statement that rang a big old alarm bell in my head. Marvin is lying here, for one very simple reason. Condensation is caused by difference of air temperatures (ie, if the temperature on one side of the glass is higher than the temperature on the other side, you get condensation on the warmest side. This is why your car windows always fog up on cold days; it's because your body heat is sending the interior temperature through the roof). It's also why condensation tends to be on the inside of a house as opposed to the outside, thanks to central heating and such.

Of course, it is possible to have condensation on the outside as well, but this would require the outside temperature to be higher than the inside; you get this sometimes in the summer, especially if it's quite humid.

However, this wasn't the case here as three separate witnesses all mentioned there being snow on the ground. Generally speaking, and factoring in that places tend to be colder at night, the basement would probably have to be quite far into the negative temperatures for condensation to form on the outside on a snowy night.

Therefore, Marvin did not wipe any condensation off the window; if there was condensation at all, it would have to have been on the inside. If there was no condensation, why is he saying that there was? He's lying.

Plus, Mary Masters's testimony:

I was out looking for my husband around 8:00PM
Why? If Marvin had made plans to meet Guy and Steve at the pub at that time, surely he'd let his wife know? In that case, she'd know where he was and wouldn't need to go out looking for him.

Conclusion
Marvin is the only one whose testimony can be proved to be blatantly false. There are discrepancies in the others', but these can be chalked up to human error; people don't look at their watches often and it's easy to mistake time.
[close]

Sinitrena's: (Edited with new thoughts!)

Spoiler

Seriously, I have no idea at all, so I'll try working it through a bit here. I'm pretty sure that the thief and the murderer are two different people.

“You swear that you didn't steal the necklace and kill Lady Susanna?”
“I never killed anyone.”


I notice he doesn't say anything about not stealing the necklace ;)

They think I stole the safe, didn't find the necklace there and broke into Lady Susanna's room to get it from there.
Didn't happen for several reasons:
1. Small or not, a man carrying a safe is going to be rather suspicious. And there was nobody else in the hotel so the guests all knew each other; there was no way he wouldn't be recognized and no way he could pass himself off as a safe-repairman ;)
2. We also know that the safe was found locked. Having opened the safe, it seems a bit odd that someone would shut it again. If the necklace was there, they would have taken it and run. If it wasn't, why would they bother to lock an empty safe?
3. It is possible he broke into Lady Susanna's room, since we know he's adept at picking locks and that this hotel is a small one as opposed to a big chain. Therefore, it's likely it would use keys as opposed to keycards.

When she didn't turn up after a while, Lord William went to look for her.
Okay, so my money's now very firmly on Lord William being the murderer. If Agnes's scream was so loud, why didn't Lady Susanna hear it and come down herself? Their rooms were right next door to each other, so if he heard it, she must have.

[...]the necklace found in my room is a forgery, according to the police, and was covered in sticky blood.”
“I don't see the significance of it being a forgery. Unless it's a really bad one, you can't recognize a forgery on a glance.”
"No, I can't. But then, where's the original?"


I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the local pawn shop, or rich people's equivalent. We know they're down on their luck from Ben's description in the opening paragraph. There's no indication anywhere that there were two necklaces. Ben himself admitted that he couldn't tell a forgery just by looking at it. I think Lady Susanna had already sold her necklace and replaced it with an imitation.

I think Lord William returned and lay in wait for his wife that night, then killed her as she came in (motive: probably money). He then planted the necklace in Ben's room (based on this, it's likely Ben never had the opportunity to steal the necklace at all; Lady Susanna was probably wearing it when she came upstairs).

Yep...that's about the best I can do ???

EDIT: Oh yeah, and I think Lord William took the safe and threw it out. The reason it was still closed was because he wasn't interested in its contents; he just wanted to use its disappearance to create a diversion and bring everyone out of their rooms, leaving him free to go 'discover' his dead wife. Possibly get rid of any troublesome evidence as well...
[close]

kconan

Spoiler

I agree with Sinitrena on SK being too obvious in JudasFM's entry, which is why I went with a bit of an out there choice.
[close]

Baron

I haven't read the other bits of speculation yet (although I'm dying to see if someone has had more insight than I, so guess what I'll be doing as soon as I'm done speculating myself? ;) ).

JudasFm's story:
Spoiler
I think the culprit is Tania Delarose from Team Gamma.  Race used to work for CGT, like she does now, so they would have known each other.  And it seems like CGT is in charge of transportation, so an insider could probably game the system and move around without being detected (if a cleaning machine was used for transit, as is posited and then ruled implausible, then Team Gamma had four cleaners to help things along).  And there was the detail of Race & Paige's room being in a pretty public space -what was he doing clocking-in in an out of the way sector if not meeting someone he didn't want seen going in and out of his room?  The note indicates jealousy, so a love-triangle suits the motive.  Alas, I can't find any hidden code in the note, but it seems like "SK" doesn't stand for initials (who signs their real name on a murder note?).  What does it stand for?  I bet that would solve the mystery, but unfortunately my mind hasn't been able to wrap around it yet. :tongue:
[close]

Mandle's Story:
Spoiler
I gotta go with Marvin Masters.  Guy George seems like he hung around the pub waiting, while Lady Lentil seems to be telling the truth about the dog barking at the car, which is corroborated by Kevin Kline's driving testimony.  This puts Henry Higgins on the roadside at about the same time, since he is probably the dog owner.  Perhaps his dog sustained a small injury, resulting in the bloody dog footprints?  Anyway, the detail that really gets to me is Marvin saying he wiped away the condensation on the basement window to look inside.  But if there was snow on the ground -and there's snow for a good chunk of the year here in Canada where I live -then that cold temperature would cause the window glass to get cold and moisture condense on it on the inside.  Also, his wife seems to have been wondering where he was for a while, giving him lots of opportunity.
[close]

Sinitrena's Story:
Spoiler
This one was tough.  I think there were two crimes because the murderer needed the distraction of the commotion over the safe theft.  So Ben must be forgetting that someone was absent from the group at that time, for at least a short spell.  The motive for the murder seems to be money: only when the hotel's cash is revealed to be missing does Inspector Coultry determine who the murderer is.  The fact that the real diamonds are also missing confirms this.  The fact that fake diamonds were used to implicate Ben suggests a specific animosity towards him by someone with inside knowledge of his lifestyle.  The most obvious culprit then is Peter, the groom.  He is hard up for cash, has reason to resent his mother (or is goaded to it by his ravishing new wife), and probably heard from her of her brother's (ie Ben's) history of thievery.  The fact that Rachel (the bride) was down getting more champagne also gives him a window of opportunity to commit the deed.  Finally, it seems from the evidence that Lady Susanna crawled to the door and locked it herself.  I mean, if she had the strength to make it that far, why not open the door to get help?  I think it must have been a final gesture of motherly love to give her son more time to escape so that he wouldn't be caught.
[close]

Well, I've probably got them all wrong.  I'm off to read what everybody else thought.  Looking forward to the revelations over the weekend!

JudasFm

I have no comment on any of the speculations ;) But this is the most fun I've ever had in a writing competition :-D

Sinitrena

I am so tempted to tell you guys where your speculations went in the right direction and where you're completely wrong ;) But I must resist until the actual reveal, I must.

I agree with JudasFm, though, this writing competition is a lot of fun. You know what would be even better? If more people posted a few theories. Come on, guys, here are three murderers that need catching. Help justice along! :-D

Baron

I'd like to modify my theory of Sinitrena's perpetrator:

Spoiler
The two crimes required two coordinated criminals, and who was up getting more champagne downstairs before the safe went missing?  The blushing bride whose family connections taught her how to steal stuff out of a safe, that's who!  So Rachel broke into the safe for the cash and real diamonds, while Peter murdered his mom and planted the fake diamonds -slightly blooded -in Ben's room to frame him.  Such a happy couple! :-*
[close]

Also...  Our scheduled speculation phase is almost over.  Please feel free to speculate further, but starting tomorrow our authors are free to post their big reveals.  I for one am giddy with excitement at being proven wrong in my speculative theorizing! ;-D  So hurry up and be speedy with those last minute speculations!


Mandle

JudasFM's Story:
Spoiler
I was thinking it was Kenichi Sawada as his name in Japanese customs would be Sawada Kenichi, thus: SK. Also the writer of the note does seem to be a little challenged with their English suggesting perhaps they are not a native speaker. This is all assuming of course that Japanese is even spoken in this future or even spoken by Mr. Sawada as his first language.

I'm probably wrong but that's all I could come up with...
[close]

Mandle's Story:
Spoiler
I think the "police inspector" did it! His name is obviously fake and a complete rip-off of "Collumbo". I think he is the murderer posing as a policeman to frame someone and make good his escape!!!
[close]

Sinitrena's Story:
Spoiler
Sorry...ran out of time and I couldn't figure it out because of my brain. So I'm just gonna guess...THAT GUY!!!

* Mandle points his finger dramatically at the correct suspect!!!
[close]

Okay, I'm done! Can't wait for the reveals!

Baron

So it's revealing time!  Who's going to show me theirs first? ;)

Sinitrena

All right, here comes the revelation - first in story format, then in answer to your speculations:

----------------------------

“Damn it, Ben, damn it to hell. I know who killed Lady Susanna, I know how you know and I know that you're a bloody idiot!”

“Well, thank you, that's so nice of you. Now tell me, how am I an idiot?”

“First things first. There were two necklaces that night, weren't there? One was put into the safe, according to Agnes, and later stolen, and the other one, the forgery, that was in Lady Susanna's room when she was murdered and later found, covered in blood, in your room.”

“Yes.”

“Someone opened the safe that night, took the cash and the jewellery and locked it again, knowing full well that it wasn't opened that often and that the theft would stay a secret for a while. If you can open a safe and lock it again relatively fast, there's no reason to take something so heavy with you and there's even less reason to discard it that close to the scene of the crime. Either open it where it is or take it with you to a safe place but don't do it like that. Therefore, two thieves were in the office, one emptied the safe and locked it again, the other stole it later and never opened it. No reason to lock it again if you're just going to discard it. No, you lock it to cover your crime.”

“Yes.”

“Now, for the forgery. The safe was empty when it was found. If the first thief had made the forgery, it would have been in the safe, and the cash as well, so that no-one would know about the theft even if the safe was opened. He also didn't discover that the necklace in the safe was a forgery, went to Lady Susanna's room and murdered her, because it is not possible to tell a forgery that easily and besides, why would Lady Susanna put a fake in the safe? No, the real one was locked up. Therefore, the thief that opened the safe had nothing to do with the forgery or the murder because he never had a reason to go to Lady Susanna's room. As for the second thief: He didn't make the forgery to cover the tracks of his stealing the safe either. His crime wasn't exactly subtle. But forgery and murder must be connected in some way. After all, the forgery was covered in blood.”

“Blood no-one even attempted to clean away. Something a thief would do with such an expensive piece.”

“So the murderer knew it was fake. Now, nothing so far proves that you are innocent. It's possible that you wanted to steal the necklace, didn't know it was in the safe, went to Lady Susanna's room and killed her.”

“I didn't ask you for help to prove my guilt!”

“No, and I'm sure now that you are, indeed, innocent. Let's look at the murder itself now. Lady Susanna was found in her room, her door locked, the key in the keyhole and covered in blood. The door to Lord William's room was either open or they both had a key for it. She certainly didn't lock her door after she was attacked, unless she wanted to keep her murderer out. But her body was moved after her death, so we know that didn't happen. That means the door was locked during the fight, while Lord William should have been in his room. After all, he went to bed first. So how did the murderer get into her room and out again without her husband noticing? It's simply not possible. That leaves only one conclusion: Lord William killed his wife.”

“I'm glad you came to the same conclusion as I did.”

“Did I come to it by the same process, though? Anyway, the question remains why he did it? We can assume that it had something to do with the forgery. They had financial troubles, didn't they?”

“They did.”

“All right, maybe he wanted to commit insurance fraud and maybe Lady Susanna didn't want to. I'm speculating here, of course. They fought, he killed her and then he decided to frame you, a suspected thief.”

“And because the real necklace was in the safe, he had to make the safe disappear. He probably hoped nobody would notice that the one taken from Lady Susanna was a fake. - Case solved. But how to prove my innocence?”

“Here the part of you being an idiot comes in.”

“I'm sorry?”

“Only two people had the means to open the safe and lock it again: Agnes, who had the key, and you, with your vast knowledge as a thief. And you were absolutely certain that you know who the murderer is. You stole the necklace and, I guess, you then saw Lord William take the safe. You didn't know about the murder at that point and so you didn't do anything about it. You just made the real necklace disappear. You probably left the hotel for a while and gave it to an accomplice or something. Frederick saw someone come from your room. It wasn't you because you had no reason to go to the opposite side of the hallway. It must have been Lord William. You weren't there at this time. That's why you didn't notice that someone broke into your room and put the fake there!”

“I did not...”

“Stop it, Ben! Just stop it! Tell the damn truth for once. You have the real necklace and you didn't hide fake and real one together. So you obviously didn't have them at the same time. That, and the locked door of Lady Susanna's room should be enough to maybe not prove that you're innocent but certainly make the police take a closer look at a lot of things. Damn it, Ben, we could never prove any of your other crimes. You'll probably get probation. Just tell the damn truth!”

------------------------------

If I didn't make any mistake, the above explanation is the only one that matches all clues. If I missed something, please tell me.

Now, because this is so much fun, let's see how well all of you did on my story.

@Mandle
Quote* Mandle points his finger dramatically at the correct suspect!!!
Sorry, you're completely off. There is more than one correct suspect (Ben for the theft, William for the murder) so you can't just point at one.


@kconan
QuoteI'll pin the theft of the hotel safe and necklace on Ben.  And the murderer is...Lord William?
You got both suspects, but Ben didn't steal the safe, only what was inside the safe. I wish I knew how you came to your conclusions, because you must have picked up on some of my clues.


@Baron
QuoteI think there were two crimes because the murderer needed the distraction of the commotion over the safe theft.  So Ben must be forgetting that someone was absent from the group at that time, for at least a short spell.
Do you mean absent when the theft was discovered? There's really no reason for this, because Susanna was already dead at this time, something we know, or can deduce because she didn't come to the reception when Agnes screamed.
QuoteThe motive for the murder seems to be money: only when the hotel's cash is revealed to be missing does Inspector Coultry determine who the murderer is.
The motive is money, but that was not the final clue Tim needed. The important part of these last few sentences was that the safe isn't opned that often which means that it makes sense to lock the safe to disguse a theft.
QuoteFinally, it seems from the evidence that Lady Susanna crawled to the door and locked it herself.  I mean, if she had the strength to make it that far, why not open the door to get help?  I think it must have been a final gesture of motherly love to give her son more time to escape so that he wouldn't be caught.
You missed that she was moved after her death, so someone (that is, the murderer) was in the room at the same time that the door was locked. In addition, if she wanted to get help, the logical place for it would be the adjoining room of William, except of course that William is the murderer, so she actually tried to flee from him through the main door, but was stopped before she actually managed to get the door open. From a storytelling point of view, I mentioned the key in the lock to remove the possibility that someone picked the lock to get in her room, then used these same skills to lock it again, as was done with the safe. As far as I know, you can't pick a lock as long as the key is in the keyhole (I might be wrong about this. It's true for the locks I know, but there might be other models, so this is actually, unless I overlooked something else, the weakest point of my story.)
QuoteSo Rachel broke into the safe for the cash and real diamonds
You miss that the safe was not only opnened and the necklace stolen from it (by Ben) but also itself stolen and later fount at the beach.

You picked up on some of the clues, not bad.


@JudasFM
Quote“I never killed anyone.”

I notice he doesn't say anything about not stealing the necklace
That one was obvious, wasn't it? ;)
QuoteWe also know that the safe was found locked. Having opened the safe, it seems a bit odd that someone would shut it again. If the necklace was there, they would have taken it and run. If it wasn't, why would they bother to lock an empty safe?
When I read this I actually though you had it solved completely. Well done on picking up on the fact that you don't lock a safe you steal. I'm not sure you drew the conclusion that there must have been two thieves at that moment. But you certainly were close.
QuoteIt is possible he broke into Lady Susanna's room, since we know he's adept at picking locks and that this hotel is a small one as opposed to a big chain. Therefore, it's likely it would use keys as opposed to keycards.
No need to speculate if they use keycards. It's outright stated in the text that the hotel uses keys. Of course, you can't pick a lock when the key is still in the keyhole, so this didn't happen (see above).
QuoteWhen she didn't turn up after a while, Lord William went to look for her.
Okay, so my money's now very firmly on Lord William being the murderer. If Agnes's scream was so loud, why didn't Lady Susanna hear it and come down herself? Their rooms were right next door to each other, so if he heard it, she must have.
That actually wasn't a clue for Lord William as the murderer: Susanna was already dead at this point and because everyone went to the reception when they heard Agnes scream, it's logical to go look for her. It's also logical that William goes, he was, after all, her husband. Really, no clue here at all.
QuoteThere's no indication anywhere that there were two necklaces.
There is: Agnes said she went to bed after putting Lady Susanna's diamonds (read: necklace) into the safe, which means that something of her's was in the safe. And a necklace was taken from Susanna during or shortly after the murder. These two can't be the same.
QuoteI think Lord William returned and lay in wait for his wife that night, then killed her as she came in (motive: probably money). He then planted the necklace in Ben's room (based on this, it's likely Ben never had the opportunity to steal the necklace at all; Lady Susanna was probably wearing it when she came upstairs).
As I said above, Susanna had alread put the necklace in the safe at that point in time, so Ben had the opportunity and did indeed steal the necklace from the safe. Other than that, you're completely right. (Except that I thought that they argued and he killed her in the heat of the moment, so not a planned murder, but it works just as well if he planned it, I think.)
QuoteOh yeah, and I think Lord William took the safe and threw it out. The reason it was still closed was because he wasn't interested in its contents
I thought that he simply didn't know how to open the safe, but you're basically right.
Quotehe just wanted to use its disappearance to create a diversion and bring everyone out of their rooms, leaving him free to go 'discover' his dead wife
There's really no need for that. Sooner or later, he could have had a reason to discover her body, or someone else had discovered it, doesn't really matter.

So, all in all, you came very, very close to the real solution and only missed a clue here and there. And you didn't quite manage to fit it all together.

"But I still have a little present for you, JudasFM"
Ben, what are you doing here?
"As I said, I have a present for JudasFM. Here:

That looks suspiciously like Lady Susanna's necklace, Ben. Shouldn't this be in evidence?
"Ahm, well..."
You stole it, again, didn't you?
"Sorry, got to go..."

In other words, I'm really impressed with your deductive skills and I was bored, so I drew some diamonds for you.

----------------------

Looking forward to your revelations, JudasFM and Mandle. ;-D

Mandle

Sinitrena:Great story and great reveal! I will post mine tonight

JudasFm

QuoteIn other words, I'm really impressed with your deductive skills and I was bored, so I drew some diamonds for you.
Wow, thanks :D I never expected that! I shall keep them, and polish them, and wear them everywhere for the rest of my life. Or until I'm hunted down and arrested by the police for receiving stolen goods, whichever comes first.

Now it's my turn!

First of all, the speculations on this one were actually pretty interesting to read. Everyone spotted some of the clues, no one spotted all of them and no one seemed to spot the same ones, and everyone put their clues together to come up with...the wrong answer, most of the time.

The layout got a little bit muddled, so I broke up the Story Reveal, the Speculations and the Timeline (which tells you who did what and when, but doesn't offer any comments on the clues) into three separate hidden areas, just to keep my post tidy :-D

STORY REVEAL!
Spoiler

REPORT ON PAIGE KERR'S DEATH

To: Cy

From: Vern Rahim

Well, I guess this is why you keep me around, isn't it?  For my deductive abilities?  So let's get down to it. 

First of all, the killer is Race Palmer.  Take my advice and send Big Mike to arrest him.  Don't wait to read the rest of my report; do it right now before it's too late, if it isn't already.

THE NOTE

Well, that's really what you asked me to investigate, isn't it?  So I'll break it down for you.

The first thing you need to know, and the key to solving this whole thing, really, is that the note was not written by the murderer.

There are plenty of ways to spot this, but most telling is that the opening question is not, Why did I kill her but Why did I want her dead.  A subtle distinction, admittedly, but an important one; there's nothing there that could serve as any kind of confession, if you really think about it.  It also says I know you wouldn't hire a murderer, but it doesn't go on to say like me.  It's implied in the previous sentence, but not explicitly connected.

Let me give you a more concrete example:

Person A had some toast and peanut butter for breakfast.

Person B: Have you had lunch?

Person A: I had some toast and peanut butter.

B assumes that A is talking about lunch in answer to the question, when in fact, A is referring to a completely different meal.  You assumed the writer was referring to themselves when they were talking about the murderer, when they were simply making a statement of fact designed to confuse and mislead.

Secondly, the note suggests that Ken'ichi Sawada is innocent, as the writer says that they could have done a better job as navigator even without any expertise.  However, according to James, the reason Ken'ichi was next in line for the job was because he's the son of a navigator, and would presumably have picked up some knowledge on the subject.  I know there's been some speculation about the initials SK â€" Sawada Ken'ichi â€" but the note was written in English.  Although Neptunians do put the family name first in their own language, in English they write it the same way as you or I.

I know there's some theory flying around that Ken'ichi gained the most from Paige's death, which is arguably true, but come on, Cy!  If he went to the trouble of murdering Paige, why would he write a note telling you about it?  If the note was written by someone wanting to frame him, why isn't it a lot more explicit?  Why doesn't it point the finger at him directly?  It's actually pretty vague; all we can deduce for certain is that the writer disliked Paige and that they're never going to tell you who they are.

Thirdly, the fact that the note is handwritten is rather suspicious since anonymous notes â€" even ones only signed with initials â€" are usually printed or made of cut-and-pasted newspaper letters.  It suggests that the person behind it wanted the writer to be traced, which in turn points to someone else writing the note on Race's behalf in an effort â€" coerced or not â€" to cover up for him.

Fourthly, it doesn't say much.  It rambles on and goes off on various tangents, but it's sort of targeted at you, sort of targeted at Paige and sort of targeted at nothing and no one in particular.

Fifthly, there are a lot of crossings out, which is what helped me spot the hidden message.

Sixthly, the crossed out words are completed.  Most people who cross out words do so because they make a mistake, or because they change their mind about what they're going to say.  However, since all the crossed out words are completed, they weren't crossed out as the result of any mistake.  I suppose a person might change their mind more than once in a letter, but more than twenty seems rather odd.

Seventhly, the use of colloquial English ("you're out of luck", "live and learn" and the word "lackeys") points to someone fluent in English.  Granted there haven't been any native speakers of that language for the past three hundred years â€" everyone learns it as a second language, as you know â€" but it does narrow down the potential candidates rather quickly.

Conclusion: "SK" is Samara King.  Race forced her to write that note, then took it to you and said he'd found it in his box.  Since he couldn't very well have Samara running around, he has her locked up somewhere, which would account for her disappearance.  I doubt she's dead or someone would have found the body by now, but I wouldn't hang around if I were you. 

Samara King

I don't know why Race picked her; she's not especially important or prominent within the crew.  I imagine she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  In hindsight, his taking her was a huge mistake on his part; she proved to be far smarter and more resourceful than I think any of us would have expected.  You might want to keep an eye on her, Cy.

The Hidden Message

I did debate whether or not to include this, but then I figured, why not.  Samara deserves credit for being able to think so coolly, and the code she came up with is one we can use as well.

The hidden message in that note was a stroke of genius.  It was so clever it almost backfired on her, in fact; it was a little too well-hidden.  It does, however, explain a great deal.

As James said, Samara's father worked on the bridge crew of one of the big liners.  He was head of radio communications, which would mean...well, plenty of things, but above all, he'd have been extremely familiar with Morse code.

It seems Samara is as well.  Familiar enough, at least, to use it to write you a little message in that note.  The only way to do that would be to substitute a certain letter of the alphabet, one that was close enough to the code.

Morse is comprised of dots and dashes.  There are only two letters in the alphabet that also fit this description; j/J and i/I.  J is too seldom used, but the letter I is the fifth most common letter in the English language.

So, if we take the lower case is as dots, and the upper case Is as dashes and transpose the message, we end up with this: .-.-...-...-.........-..--.-..--...-...-..--.--......-...--.--.

Rather hard to decipher, since there's no way of telling where one letter ends and the next begins.  Which, of course, is where the crossed out words come in.

I imagine Race, to divert suspicion away from himself, insisted on a handwritten note precisely because it would be easier to trace to someone else.  Since Samara was under a lot of pressure at the time, he wouldn't find it suspicious that she was flustered and crossing out so many words.

If we take the crossed out words to represent a break between letters, we get: .- / .-.. / .-.. / .-.. / .. / . / ... / .-. / .- / -.-. / . / --. / ..- / .. / .-.. / - / -.-- / .... / . / .-.. / .--. / -- / .

Translation: ALL LIES RACE GUILTY HELP ME

I'd say that was some pretty damning evidence right there, Cy. But if you want more, keep reading. I watched the recording of your discussions with the bridge crew.  I appreciate your thoroughness but there was no need to send me all of them; the first ten minutes plus the note told me everything I needed to know.  I'm not sure if I should do this next bit as a Q&A or a prose report, so I'll probably mix and match.  I transcribed your remarks to enable you to follow my train of thought more clearly.

CY
Only we all know what he (Race) is like when he loses his temper

Yes. Yes, we do.

JAMES
Race's T-card was clocked on at six am, two kilometers away from where Paige was murdered. [...] Paige was killed at ten past six.  The only way Race could have got to her was if he hitched a ride on a cleaning machine, and he didn't.

So we've established that Race could have got to her in time to commit the murder if he rode the cleaning machine. Now we just need to work out if he did.

JAMES
I asked CGT â€" you know they have a monopoly on those machines â€"

In other words, you would have to work for CGT or be friendly with those that did to be able to get one, if you didn't want to pay the passenger rates.

JAMES
No one bought passage on any machines until the beginning of the shift at eight am.  Besides, that corridor is pretty out of the way.  There were a couple of machines there, but it's not a good place to go if you want to guarantee finding them.

So he's a long way from anywhere with no witnesses and more than one cleaning machine that can get him where he has to be in a hurry.

JAMES
He (Race) used to work for CGT until Chelsea fired him for losing his temper with a customer.

Another mention of Race having trouble controlling his anger.  More importantly, Race used to work for CGT.  He wouldn't be allowed to drive one of the machines now, since he was fired, but he'd know how to do it.  Since the corridor is 'pretty out of the way', to use James's phrasing, so if he did take it into his head to jump onto a machine, no one would have seen him.  Also, his being so far away would set up a fair alibi without raising suspicion; gofers go all over the ship and plenty of them keep odd hours.

So let's look at what we have so far:

1. Race clocked on in a random corridor at six am.

2. Paige was killed at ten past six. 

3. CGT's shift doesn't start until eight.

4. There were a couple of machines in the corridor where Race was.

5. Only CGT employees are allowed use of the cleaning machines.  None of them were on shift at the time.  Therefore, those machines would have been unguarded. Since it was so early and the sector so out of the way, it's very likely the corridor would have been empty while Race was there.

6. Race used to work for CGT; therefore, he would know how to drive a cleaning machine.

7. Do you really need me to fill in any more blanks here?

Anyway, going back to the shift thing, the only people who would know for certain that Race no longer worked for CGT â€" ie, other employees â€" would have most likely been asleep.  No one would have seen him steal the machine, no one would have seen him drive it the two kilometers to his and Paige's room.  A couple of very early risers probably would have seen him get off at the other end and go into the room, but unless he said, "Hey, I'm going to murder Paige!" they would just assume he was still working for CGT and had pulled an all-nighter or something.  I imagine he thought it was a risk worth taking.

Motive

Obviously we have to do a certain amount of guessing here, but this was clearly premeditated.  Best guess: Paige broke up with Race and he didn't like it.  People have committed murder for dumber reasons, after all.  Besides, it must have been hard for him dating the fourth most powerful crew member when he was just a gofer.

Case closed.  You owe me thirty and thirty.

-Vern
[close]

Phew! Okay, on to the speculations...

Spoiler

@KCONAN
QuoteWho: James Lawson?
Evidence and Motive: I couldn't figure anything out...
Out by a mile ;)

@BARON
QuoteI think the culprit is Tania Delarose from Team Gamma.
Sorry. But your deductive reasoning was pretty impressive. You picked up on most of the clues; you just pointed the finger at the wrong person.

QuoteRace used to work for CGT, like she does now, so they would have known each other.  And it seems like CGT is in charge of transportation, so an insider could probably game the system and move around without being detected (if a cleaning machine was used for transit, as is posited and then ruled implausible, then Team Gamma had four cleaners to help things along).
Fair deduction. Wrong, but fair ;) Team Gamma's having four cleaners really wasn't meant as either a clue or a red herring.

QuoteAnd there was the detail of Race & Paige's room being in a pretty public space -what was he doing clocking-in in an out of the way sector if not meeting someone he didn't want seen going in and out of his room?
This was a clue, but not in the way you've interpreted it. James says that Race wouldn't be the first crew member who went to an empty sector to get some peace and quiet. This implies that taking oneself off to out-of-the-way places is actually regarded as fairly normal.

Quotea love-triangle suits the motive.
That...is a really interesting interpretation ;-D Again, logical but out.

Quote(who signs their real name on a murder note?).
Again, well spotted. Though this one was something of a clue within a clue.

@SINITRENA
QuoteThe letter is signed SK. Of all the names mentioned, only Samara King and Ken'ichi Sawada match these initials. The letter claimes that the motive for the murder was basically jealousy, so it's logical to assume that someone who wanted her job was responsible.
Actually, it never says that, not in so many words. The only thing the letter claims for sure is that everyone hated Paige because she was such a lousy navigator. Anything beyond that is pure speculation.

QuoteIn addition, Samara hasn't clocked in since before the murder.
Well spotted ;)

QuoteI have a feeling that I miss something important in the letter, especially in the few words that are crossed-out, and I'd really like to know what the deal is with Cy NO LAST NAME, the incedent that found them without a navigator in the first place, and the incident when the crew killed people to keep other safe (as mentioned in the letter); Are those two incidents the same?
The backstory at this point spans two full novels, so I won't clutter up the board with long synopses. For interest's sake, however, the two incidents are completely separate. In the books, it's about three months' difference; here it's more like three years, but I reckon I'm allowed to play with my own timeline a bit ;) I'm not sure what you wanted to know about Cy...

QuoteLooking for a motive, I actually think Race would be a likely candidate: He is a gofer while Paige seemed to have a succesful career. There might have been tension between them.
As I said, this storie has me stumped. I still say it was Samara King, even though I think this is too easy.
Ooh...you were so close! So very close!

@MANDLE
QuoteI was thinking it was Kenichi Sawada as his name in Japanese customs would be Sawada Kenichi, thus: SK. Also the writer of the note does seem to be a little challenged with their English suggesting perhaps they are not a native speaker. This is all assuming of course that Japanese is even spoken in this future or even spoken by Mr. Sawada as his first language.
Sorry, nope. This was a red herring, for three reasons:

1. While it's true that in Japanese culture his name would be Sawada Ken'ichi, the letter was written in English. Japanese people who write in English write their names Western-style.

2. There are no native speakers of English in this future - everyone learns it as a second language - and yes, Japanese is spoken (although they call it Neptunian now ;)) and yes, it's Ken'ichi's first language. However, I'm not so unfair as to expect people to solve it based purely on assumptions of the world which are never confirmed, so the whole language thing had nothing to do with solving the case. If I'd meant it as a clue, I'd have explained the languages and Ken'ichi's fluency in them more clearly ;)

3. As Vern says, the use of colloquialisms point to someone who is fluent in English. Someone who struggles with basic grammar would be very unlikely to know the word lackey for instance. Same goes for sayings like live and learn.
[close]

And a neat little summing-up timeline:

Spoiler

1. Race kidnaps Samara the day before the murder and forces her to write the letter by hand. He knew she'd been in the running for Paige's job and he intended for the murder to be traced back to her.  So SK does stand for Samara King, and Samara wrote the letter, but she didn't murder Paige.

2. Samara, who is extremely familiar with Morse code due to her father's occupation, hides a message in the note, using the letter i/I to represent dots and dashes and the crossed out words to separate each letter.

3. Race keeps Samara locked up to stop her blowing the whole thing. As a gofer, he did all sorts of odd jobs. It's a logical assumption that he'd be more familiar with the ship's layout, and so he'd know where he could imprison her.

4. The next morning, Race goes to a corridor some distance away from his room and clocks on there to try and provide himself with an alibi.

5. He then steals one of the empty cleaning machines, being able to drive them from his time at CGT, and drives to his room where he kills Paige.

6. After waiting a suitable length of time, he brings Samara's letter to Cy, saying he found it in his box.

7. Cy passes it on to Vern, who solves it in about two hours and sends the report back to him.
[close]

Okay...I think I covered everything. I wasn't sure about the hidden message violating the "No Big Reveal" rule, but even if you spotted it, it only claims who the killer is; you'd still have had to prove it ;)

Thanks to everyone who speculated :D Like I said before, this kind of interactive fiction contest was a lot of fun!

Mandle

Quote
Inspector Callum Beaux scanned his eyes back from right to left and announced:

"Based on the witness testimony I have solved this case. The murderer is...Marvin Masters! I have noted many discrepancies between the time-lines stated by quite a few suspects, but this is quite normal in investigations such as these, and in fact, if I did not find such discrepancies then that would arouse suspicions of an entirely different sort.
People rarely keep a careful track of time while unaware that they are going to be questioned about it at a later date. A set of perfectly matching time-lines would lead me to suspect a conspiracy instead of a single murderer acting alone, the latter being the case here.
You see: Only one of you has told me an outright lie..."

Inspector Beaux flipped his notepad back two pages and read from it:

"Marvin Master's statement reads as follows: "At around 8:30PM I tried looking into Steve's basement window after he did not answer the door. The light was on so I wiped the condensation from the window and looked inside but there was nothing to see."

On a cold night such as tonight there is no possible way that a layer of condensation could form on the exterior of a window, although it does seem that a layer of perspiration has formed on the exterior of Mr. Masters as I have been speaking...

Take him away boys!"

(Congratulations to all who figured it out by finding the one liar in the group. The time-lines discrepancies would not hold up in a court of law, being only subjective observations (and mostly guesses) by the suspects. But an outright lie from a suspect's very own mouth is pretty damning evidence. Why else would they lie unless they were guilty...Oh, and the "blood" in the dog-tracks was actually just the reflection from the red lights of the police cars and a red-herring...)

Sinitrena

JudasFM, I hope you don't mind when I split some hairs? I love your story and I'd like to read more stories in this world (There are two full novels, you say?). There's just this tiny detail I have a slight problem with:

QuoteIt also says I know you wouldn't hire a murderer, but it doesn't go on to say like me. It's implied in the previous sentence, but not explicitly connected.

It doesn't go on to say this, but it does right before, and I think it is explicitly connected, because of this "forget that":

QuoteMaybe now you'll get someone who's better at the job.  Like me, for example.  You

Actually, forget that; I know you wouldn't take a murderer.
As I said, a tiny detail ;), but you might want to change it for any later uses of the story.

Edit: And it says "take a murderer" in the letter but "hire a murderer" in the report. I assume that's just a typo...

All right, I'm done splitting hairs. :-*


Then there's the morse code thing: It's very clever but I would never have figured this out, not in a thousand years 8-0, especially since I don't know any morse code and I think there are more people who don't know any morse than those who do. For a fair whodunnit, that's a bit too difficult. Although, the reader had the clue, so someone who does know morse can figure it out, so I guess this story still counts as a Fair Play Whodunnit.



QuoteI'm not sure what you wanted to know about Cy...

Cy seemed a bit suspicious to me because of this line from the letter:
QuoteAlthough personally, I think that's rather mean unfair of you, 'Cy', or whatever your full name is.

That, and the fact that Cy is the only character (I think, unless I missed someone) in your story who recieved only a first name, made him a suspect for me (I think there was one other sentence but I can't find it right now, maybe I remember it wrong). That's why I considered him more of a mystery than he was probably meant to be? ??? And I also wondered if a motive for the murder could have been that Paige knew something about him and so he killed her. But there wasn't enough to back up this theory, so I didn't post it originally.

JudasFm

Splitting hairs is fine; I don't mind that at all XD Feel free to split away!

First of all, yes; there are two novels, or rather as it stands now, one and nine tenths (should finish it in the next few weeks; before seeking an agent for the first one, my editor advised me to write another novel that set the scene and explained how they all wound up alone on that ship to begin with). I might use this world again in future writing contests, if it fits ;)

The Morse code was made extremely difficult on purpose; I never expected anyone would solve it. It was meant to be more along the lines of an Easter egg than a real clue; the reader could have worked out it was Race from the other clues. It would only really be key evidence in proving that Race kidnapped Samara or that Samara was the one who wrote the note. Since the only mystery the readers had to solve was who killed Paige, it was very much something of a side quest ;) (Okay, it proves that too, but it's not necessary).

But as you say, the clues were there: the note was signed with the initials of someone whose father worked radio communications, and radio communications use Morse code, which in turn uses dots and dashes. Fiendishly difficult, but no one said the clues had to be easy ;)

Yes, the hire/take thing was a typo on my part; sorry about that :-[

You're right; Cy's surname was never revealed (and there are people on the Nemesis who aren't even prepared to swear that Cy is his real first name ;) But I digress) It is a bit of a mystery, but not a sinister one.

Mandle

Loved the reveals of the other authors!

I must say I completely missed every clue that was up for the grabbing, but I'm pleased that at least two people helped put Marvin Masters away in the Big House where he deserves to be...

Much fun was had by all!

Thanks Baron for an inovative and fun contest!

Sinitrena

QuoteBut as you say, the clues were there: the note was signed with the initials of someone whose father worked radio communications, and radio communications use Morse code, which in turn uses dots and dashes.

To be honest, I would consider morse code to be a rather old fashioned thing in a sci-fi setting, but what do I know? If they still use it in your world, they do. But even if I had known that I should look for it, I'd have looked for lenght of words or numbers of upper case and lower case letters, but certainly not dots or no dots of i/I. But as you said, not absolutely necessary to "solve" the crime, only to prove it in-story.

QuoteYou're right; Cy's surname was never revealed (and there are people on the Nemesis who aren't even prepared to swear that Cy is his real first name ;) But I digress) It is a bit of a mystery, but not a sinister one.

You're making me very, very curious here.


@Baron: All our murderers are caught. When do we do the voting?

Baron

It is voting time!

The criteria, as promised:

Best character (most believable, compelling, adorable, captivating, or mesmerizing)
Best setting (best described/developed location for the mystery)
Best word craft (stylistic marks for good word choice or turns of phrase)
Best crime (most creative!)
Best mystery (the subtle weaving of clues and colour to make the story compelling to our sense of curiosity over WHODUNNIT?!?)

One vote per category this time, please.  Votes will be tabulated Friday night and announced on Saturday.  Good luck to all entrants! 

JudasFm

Quote from: Sinitrena on Tue 09/06/2015 22:36:18
To be honest, I would consider morse code to be a rather old fashioned thing in a sci-fi setting, but what do I know? If they still use it in your world, they do.

I do see your point, but old-fashioned isn't the same thing as obsolete. The wheel was invented in the Bronze Age (earliest sample from around 3500BC) and yet we're still using it almost five thousand years later ;) Same goes for the alphabet, even if the words have changed. (Okay, I admit I don't know when that was invented, but the letters have remained mostly the same, if you ignore the old-style S that looks like an F).

In comparison, the idea of an audible code surviving six or seven hundred years doesn't seem so strange. The use of Morse code in a sci-fi setting (especially one featuring ship travel) is actually quite valid. It's easier to transmit beeps than entire words, and can be used in a variety of situations with a variety of tools. It also eliminates any kind of misunderstanding due to a person's accent or static on the line, or if you needed to transmit a distress call such as SOS in a hurry. Rather than invent a whole new system of dealing with this, I think people would stick with the familiar one; after all, if it ain't broke, don't fix it :-D
QuoteBut even if I had known that I should look for it, I'd have looked for lenght of words or numbers of upper case and lower case letters, but certainly not dots or no dots of i/I

It's a little hard to get across in type, I agree; if the handwritten version had prominent lines on the capital Is, it would have been easier. Next time I might write a note and scan it in ;) (Visual clues! Why didn't I think of using visual clues? Definitely something to bear in mind if there's another whodunnit contest!)
QuoteYou're making me very, very curious here.

Heh. Well, like I say, maybe I'll write some more stories in this world if there's the opportunity ;)

But before that, let's vote!

Best character Sinitrena, for Ben. He made me smile in places, and that's never a bad thing
Best setting Sinitrena. I got a really good sense of the place from the writing
Best word craft Mandle. The thing about the red light looking like blood in the paw marks was very compelling
Best crime Sinitrena, for linking two crimes together
Best mystery Sinitrena. I had to really work to solve this one, and even then I still had a couple of 'how did I miss THAT' moment (namely the keys thing :-D)

kconan


Best Character: I'll go with JudasFm's Cy.
Best Setting: JudasFm's huge spaceship.
Best Word Craft: Sinitrena.
Best Crime: Mandle.
Best Mystery: Mandle

Sinitrena

Best character JudasFM with Cy - He just intrigues me.
Best setting JudasFM - A spaceship as big as a city? Interesting.
Best word craft JudasFM - For the morse code. It must have been incrediable difficult to compose a letter that actually contains the message.
Best crime JudasFM - The abduction is a clever and unexpected addition to the murder.
Best mystery Mandle - That one was difficult, because the two stories are at opposide ends of the possible spectrum for a whodunnit. On the one hand, there's JudasFm's story with lots of red herrings, characters that don't matter for the mystery, clues that are nearly impossible to figure out, etc. On the other hand, Mandle's story is a whodunnit stripped to its bones: only the necessary characters (or nearly), nearly no discriptions that don't matter and add to the atmosphere instead (exception: the red footprints in the snow), a mystery that is relatively easy to solve (you still have to think about it, but it's unlikely to reach a wrong conclusion). In the end, I think as a mystery I just prefer stories I manage to figure out.

Baron

Well, that's the deadline.  I was hoping for more votes, but.... :P.  Actually, I was hoping for more entries as well.  Hence:

Baron's Proposed Constitutional Amendment to the Unwritten Customs of the Fortnightly Writing Competition

I squirmed, painfully, on the sidelines all competition, to the point that I really regretted being the one to propose this topic, since as contest administrator it precluded me from participating.  But then I got to thinking: why couldn't the contest administrator also participate?  The major hurdle is people proposing topics that they already have great ideas for, but that could just be an added challenge to unseat the current champion.  Or, we could invent some sort of mechanism whereby the administrator asks the field for a broad story outline if they want to participate (character type & setting, for example) and then has to write a story based on that.  Any way it works, the advantages of involving the contest administrator outweigh the disadvantages.  It would mean, on average, 20-30% increase in contributions and votes, thus augmenting the excitement of the competition.  Plus we'd get to write more, which is the whole point of the competition in the first place.  A disadvantage would be that we no longer have an impartial tie-breaker and rule clarifier, but we've had ties before without them being "broken" and everything just carried on as usual, and we've also had some pretty off-base entries that were still allowed anyway.  I think if we all agree that a tie with the administrator results in a victory for the other party, and that any unpublished entry that remotely suits the topic is allowable, then we can strengthen the institution of the FWC with no real negative repercussions.  Who's with me?

Results

I guess this is what you're really after.... (roll)  So, according to the esteemed electorate, our winners are as follows:

.  With 6 votes our grand winner is JudasFm!  I liked the sci-fi setting and the interactions of the bridge crew, but I agree that the Morse-code note was a little complex to be fair -the idea of a visual note with more obvious i/I's might remedy that.  I also think there was a fatal flaw in the crime: eventually someone would discover Samara King's body, which would result in more evidence pointing at Race.  Unless he kidnapped a third person to write a note to deflect blame again, but then he'd have to silence the third person.... and so on.  But on the positive side I really liked the idea of a secret code in a note mystery, and the fictional politics behind the scenes in your world were quite compelling.

.  With 5 votes Sinitrena was nipping at JudasFm's heels, and thus wins the silver trophy.  I really liked the complex relationships between the protagonists that you were able to paint in such a short period of time, and I think yours would have been my choice for best crime.  Extra special mention for the Inspector Coultry character: I love how he treats his "friend" Ben.  ;-D  If there was a downside to your piece it was a lack of thorough examination of the crime scene discussing the clues, but given the constraints of the word count I see why that would have been difficult to fit in.

.  That leaves Mandle in third. ;)

And so - at long last - I turn the competition over to a new administrator.  The burden of the next topic falls to JudasFm, may you bear it well.  I look forward to doing some writing next time around!  Hope to see everyone out again for the next exciting instalment of....

...The Fortnightly Writing Competition!

kconan

Quote from: Baron on Sat 13/06/2015 15:45:51
Why couldn't the contest administrator also participate?

It feels wrong though if the Administrator, having previously won, wins again, and potentially again...The FWC championship belt needs to change hands.  I agree that there should be more entries these days, but not admins unless its an exhibition entry.

Awesome round guys!  Congrats to JudasFm.  His was certainly the hardest of the entries in my opinion.

Sinitrena

Quote from: kconan on Sat 13/06/2015 17:35:35
Quote from: Baron on Sat 13/06/2015 15:45:51
Why couldn't the contest administrator also participate?

It feels wrong though if the Administrator, having previously won, wins again, and potentially again...The FWC championship belt needs to change hands.  I agree that there should be more entries these days, but not admins unless its an exhibition entry.

I have to agree with kconan here. I don't think the adminstrator should be allowed to enter, mainly because it's good to have at least one neutral party in every contest. And besides, I don't really see a reason why it should be necessary. I admit, we don't usually have an abundance of entries, but we normally have enough that it actually is a competition. When was the last time we had only one entry? (Or zero; I don't think we ever had zero entries in the last few years.) No, it's better to keep administrator and entrants seperate.
What I would find more important is that everyone who enters also votes. That's only fair. But there is no way to actually enforce such a rule, so this is more a wish than a suggestion.

Congratulations to JudasFm for a deserved win. I'm looking forward to the next round.

Mandle

Quote from: Sinitrena on Sat 13/06/2015 18:44:16
What I would find more important is that everyone who enters also votes. That's only fair. But there is no way to actually enforce such a rule, so this is more a wish than a suggestion.

OH CRAP?! I forgot to vote?! Seriously, I was thinking that I had voted. I've just been too busy with work this past week to keep anything else straight in my head I guess. I suppose 7 days straight working with many 12 hour days would do that.

Sorry again guys, but congratz to everyone for an entertaining round. I think the structure of the whodunnit has great potential for a "Part 2" revisitation in the future as it made for a uniquely interactive FWC, and also maybe then Baron can join with his own entry.

I wrote and posted my own entry in under an hour as a response to the current (at that time) lack of entries and did not really expect it to be taken seriously so I was stoked to see I actually got a few votes (even if they were possibly pity votes (laugh) )

I actually do have a much better whodunnit story which has been rattling around in my head for about a year now, but as it is reserved for the potential plot of a game I decided not to use it here ;)

Can wait for the next round, although I suspect I'll just be a reader in that one unless it's something really up my alley... ;)

JudasFm

Quote from: kconan on Sat 13/06/2015 17:35:35
It feels wrong though if the Administrator, having previously won, wins again, and potentially again...The FWC championship belt needs to change hands.  I agree that there should be more entries these days, but not admins unless its an exhibition entry.

I agree. I really don't see any problems with an exhibition entry if the admin just wants the fun or experience of writing it - I'd quite like to do one myself for the next round, if nobody objects - but I don't think it should be eligible to win.

Quote
Awesome round guys!  Congrats to JudasFm.  His Hers was certainly the hardest of the entries in my opinion.

;) Thanks. And thanks so much to everyone who voted for me; I never thought I'd win :D Next round will be up later today.

Baron

Quote from: kconan on Sat 13/06/2015 17:35:35
It feels wrong though if the Administrator, having previously won, wins again, and potentially again...

Quote from: Sinitrena on Sat 13/06/2015 18:44:16
I have to agree with kconan here. I don't think the adminstrator should be allowed to enter

Quote from: JudasFm on Sun 14/06/2015 00:24:06
I agree.  [Maybe an] exhibition entry if the admin just wants the fun or experience of writing it... but I don't think it should be eligible to win.

So.... what you're all saying is that there's a bit of wiggle room on this, right? ;)


kconan

Quote from: Baron on Sun 14/06/2015 18:25:08
So.... what you're all saying is that there's a bit of wiggle room on this, right? ;)

Yea no consensus, we're all just spitballin ideas 8-)

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