King Simulator 2013

[NightHawk]

> Politely ask her if she has a granddaughter who's available to court.

[Crimson Wizard]

Erm, people, did she really mention that SHE herself is supposed to marry you?

> Politely her if has a granddaughter who's available to court.

Politely... what?....
I see a new meme here

[WHAM]

Two questions:

1) How old is she?

2) Is bigamy legal in our realm?

1) How old does she look?

2) You're the damn king, up to you

[Adeel]

>laugh disappointed too. Then ask her where she comes from and which lands her yesteryear family reigns. And if she has a map of that area. And if her yesteryear family is in war with some nation or family. And if her people are happy.

+1

E:

I see a new meme here

I thought you were the guy who didn't use social networking websites.

[Baron]

    I hate to be the voice of reason here, but since no one else is stepping up to the plate on this I feel obliged to make the case.  It's not that I fancy the elderly (although I do have a penchant for slightly over-ripe fruit...), nor do I particularly relish the idea of spending another moment with this a stuck-up, snooty, condescending, self-important, arch-bitch (can I say that without offending anyone?).  But she's got an annual income of 100 gold coins, whereas we've got an annual income of 20 gold coins.  Any way you cut that math, it spells trouble.  I've read that instability in the English monarchy is closely correlated to an over-mighty subject gaining an income equal or greater than 50% of the king's: the house of Yesteryear has over 5 times our income!

     That kind of wealth is dangerous to have about.  Where will those resources go if we spurn her?  If we're lucky, we only suffer the opportunity cost of not having the cash, but it is just as likely it will fall into the hands of some other over-mighty lord (Sir Kevin of Axemount springs to mind), or she may well use the wealth herself to extract petty vengeance at being rejected.  HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.  Either way you cut it, this spells big trouble down the road.
     As I see it, we have three realistic options here:

1) Reject her outright (the course we are on now, probably resulting in consequences even uglier than Broomhilde)
2) Accept her offer (gaining us wealth, but at the price of putting up with Broomhilde -probably expensive and certainly unappealing)
3) Stall for time

    I would opt for the third choice.  This could take a variety of forms, such as a lengthy engagement wherein she must be confined to a nunnery for at least a year to prove her chasteness and moral character, agreeing in principal but haggling endlessly over the details (pedigree charts, dowry, marriage contract, wedding details, proof of fertility, rumours of infidelity....), begging for time to think about it and then hiding behind the throne until she decides to leave, annoying her as much as she annoys us by endlessly asking for more information, travelling to distant places (to check with an augur, or inspect the lands of Yesteryear ourselves), wishing to indulge in courtship for a while until we get to know each other.... 

    In the back of my mind, I'm thinking in the long run we've got to be a little nasty here (she probably deserves it due to her attitude, and in any event it is a political necessity): we part this old bird from her cash without suffering the horrors of marriage to such a creature.  We've been pretty civil/chivalrous so far, but I think this is a case for some realpolitik: there's just too much on the line.  I don't think we, collectively, have the stomach for murder, but maybe with the collusion of the Jester we could catch her in a compromised position immediately after the wedding which would result in her forfeiting her property to us for fraudulent and treasonous acts, and her being banished permanently to a convent or prison....

    In the short run, we must assess the extent of the threat.  Who is the head of the Yesteryear clan?  How many family members are there?  Where are her family's lands, and what fraction of them are on the table here (all, or only part)?  How many knights serve the family?  How well trained and how loyal are they?  Where does their wealth come from (land, trade, industry, resources)?  What feuds are they party to (what enemies would we hypothetically acquire by marrying into the clan)?  What is her personal history (previous marriages/engagements/widowhoods....)?

>>Tell Lady Broomhilde we are honoured by the proposal and wish to know more about her and the Yesteryear clan.  And order the lady a chair: that's classy.

[Ponch]

>>Tell Lady Broomhilde we are honoured by the proposal and wish to know more about her and the Yesteryear clan.  And order the lady a chair: that's classy.

+1
Also, begin Operation: Secret Mistress!

[miguel]

Quote from: Baron on Today at 03:22

    >>Tell Lady Broomhilde we are honoured by the proposal and wish to know more about her and the Yesteryear clan.  And order the lady a chair: that's classy.

+1;

I wonder if she has heirs herself and if they'll give us trouble like fighting for the throne.
We have Jesterino and he's a cool dude to have around but we need at least one spy!

We need a spy because:
- we want to track down all suspicious and weird people that daily visit our castle;
- we need to hunt down any chance of a conspiracy against us from the people that already work for us;
- if we have a spy we won't be asking so many direct questions to all visitors and can at leas act educated;
- it's cool to have spies and plot devious actions;

Also, begin Operation: Secret Mistress!

Spoiler

Ponch, but what's Anabelle's role in all this after all?

[close]

[Tibatonk]

Has it actually been established that she wants us to marry her? Or might she proposing in the name of a daughter or granddaughter?

[Problem]

>>Tell Lady Broomhilde we are honoured by the proposal and wish to know more about her and the Yesteryear clan.  And order the lady a chair: that's classy.

+1

[Adeel]

>>Tell Lady Broomhilde we are honoured by the proposal and wish to know more about her and the Yesteryear clan.  And order the lady a chair: that's classy.

+1

[WHAM]

You have JESTER bring a chair so that BROOMHILDE can have a seat.



"Thank you for the seat, my King, travelling does wear on oneself."

You explain that you are honored by the marriage proposal, but wish to know more of BROOMHILDE and the YESTERYEAR clan.

"We Yesteryears have lived for centuries on a hilltop mansion to the southeast of your town. We do not work, we simply own things within your realm and without. We own trade ships, brothels, craft-shops and trade caravans and much, much more, all of which provides us with a steady flow of return for our investments. By the old King Fortell IV's decree, which he gave four centuries ago, after our mercenary army crushed his royal militiamen in battle, our family has been given exemption from taxes and other mundane affairs, and thus we live a rather secluded life. The wealthy are often mistrusted by the commoners you see, so there would have been little point in taking over the crown by force at the time. This is why I have come to you, my King. Our marriage would allow my family fortune to be put to good use, allowing YOU to have an easier time, obviously, while allowing the Yesteryear family to return to society in a suitably prestigious position."

[miguel]

Before we make any decision we should know if they still have that mercenary army and how can we take them on our side. The obvious answer (because they're mercenaries) would be to pay them more than she does but what if we could "arrange" it on our wedding deal.

[Baron]

I need names of clan members, and numbers of mercenaries.  Gently pointing out that the "good use of her fortune" might entail actually paying taxes to the crown might help us gauge the sincerity of her desire to further the interests of the kingdom instead of just her own.  Another tact might be telling her that our evil brother had mentioned her beauty and breeding frequently: see if she reveals any relationship to him, or her age.

>> Offer BROOMHILDE of YESTERYEAR some wine and appear very interested in hearing more about her.

On another note, I've been reading up on how Henry II of England married into wealth (Eleanor of Aquitaine), and then imprisoned her for sixteen years when she became too much of a pain to keep.  Just saying's all....

[Tibatonk]

Can't say I'm particularly happy about marrying into any family without at least *some* basic knowledge concerning the political realities of both our kingdom and our bordering nations. It's basically the same problem we faced earlier when deciding whether to ally ourselves with those pirates or not. Only marriage seems even more permanent in nature - unless we decide to poison the bride early on.

Are there any other families similar to the Yesteryears? If so, are they feuding? How powerful are the Yesteryears in relation to any other families or factions that might exist? And what is the general populace's opinion on the Yesteryears? After all, they live in seclusion, employ a private mercenary army, and as Broomhilde put it: 'The wealthy are often mistrusted by the commoners.' Might there even be more to this comment than meets the eye?

Also, the whole scheme seems weird. A marriage to us could only be of permanent interest to the Yesteryears if it produces an offspring. And somehow I doubt that Broomhilde is still up to that particular task...

So yeah... I guess for now I'll go with...

>> Offer BROOMHILDE of YESTERYEAR some wine and appear very interested in hearing more about her.

+1

[miguel]

Quote from: Baron on Yesterday at 04:17

    >> Offer BROOMHILDE of YESTERYEAR some wine and appear very interested in hearing more about her.

+1

[WHAM]

You have the JESTER bring up some wine for yourself and BROOMHILDE.



One of the knights accompanying BROOMHILDE steps up and samples the wine for her. After a moment has passed the knight gives a nod, then hands the cup to BROOMHILDE who accepts it with a nod. She sips the wine.

"Thank you, my King, how very thoughtful."

You try to seem as interested as possible in hearing more about the YESTERYEAR family line, but BROOMHILDE does not seem very forthcoming. She seems to be waiting for your response to her offer of marriage.

"My King, my offer will stand." -she says. "Should you wish to think on the matter, then by all means do so. I shall be retreating to my manor later this evening, send a messenger for me if you wish to answer properly."

[CaptainD]

>Draw up pre-nuptial agreement

[miguel]

I think I smell a rat and I know when I smell a rat because it smells like rat.

[Tibatonk]

Gee, between her, Rorik, and that guy Jonas people in this kingdom seem to have quite an aversion to giving away information.

Well, at least she told us to think it over, so now we can gather some intel on her and her family by other means.

>Once again thank Broomhilde for her offer and tell her that we will indeed think her proposal over. Afterwards summon Jester and Lancelot and ask them what they know about the Yesteryear family.

[cat]

>Once again thank Broomhilde for her offer and tell her that we will indeed think her proposal over. Afterwards summon Jester and Lancelot and ask them what they know about the Yesteryear family.

+1