Atmospheric tune for crits

[Oliwerko]

Heya all,

I've been working on this for the last three days and cannot see to improve it further, so I ticked it as a final version.
Nevertheless, I would like to hear what do YOU think about it and where can I improve in the future.

You can get it here:
http://www28.zippyshare.com/v/13644708/file.html

(sorry for the mirror, nothing better available at the moment)

I'll be glad to hear any thoughts of yours!

Thanks 

[TandyLion]

I enjoyed it. That odd synthetic 'twang kind of sound.

One crit, is I wish the temp picked up around the one minute mark, it almost felt repetitive. When I heard the new piano like sound at 1:51 it was a very welcome addition to the track. Also, you have the sound of a woman sighing/breathing at around 1:54. I may suggest you add it once or twice more as the track shifts between its themes. It could even occur occasionally after every 8 bars or so, it would add a nice human element to it, in an otherwise very mechanical sounding piece. 

During 2:00-4:00 the sound of the rasp did get a little under my skin though, perhaps changing its pace every 16 bars, or leaving some silence.

At 2:26 is when the high toned accent comes in, and if you count the beats until 2:48 (8 bars) and then again at 3:10 (another 8 bars) I feel the beat wants to experience a larger change in theme and dynamic. This does occur at 3:10 with the use of the lower humming tones, but it may be own personal preference to want something more climactic. But it would be a great chance to break up/change that rasping during this time.

My last crit comes from about 4:20 until the end. The temp drops off almost immediately from 4:19-4:23 and it feels like the song faded into a different song and didn't quite line up properly. I actually tested looping the track, from the start and ending at about at 4:23-4:24 back to the start, and it gave me the same flow. If this track is designed to be loopable, it means the will listen to the drawn out twang...twang...twang for almost 3 minutes solid.

That said, this is my very first musical audio critique ever and your piece may be a masterpiece, and I may just me talking complete nonsense. But, I hope something constructive comes out of it.

[DutchMarco]

Oliwerko,
Just a quick tip to upload the file to my ftp-site ooijer.serveftp.com, PM me about it and I'll put it in the webserver space so it will be downloadable  as http://home.ooijer.com/ags/Into the Dawn.mp3.
In fact I've just put the fie up there just now!  so anyone can use that link - without having to see all sorts of banner-ads (this makes me think: I should spproach Google)
P.s. I'll give you some crit - after a quick listen: Seems a bit monochromatic in the sense that you've inly used one instrument(during the first half), the 2nd (after  ± 2:00) sounds nicer, though it's still heavy on the keyboard+synth -sound types.
On the upside, it does make me think back to my Amiga days though (which is considered a good thing in these circles incl. me) It does have the right kind of moodiness for a background score, apart from Amiga, it makes me think of SQ.

[Oliwerko]

Thanks for listening guys!

TandyLion:
I tried to cut the beginning to make it shorter, but I just couldn't. I really like all the passages, I don't know. Maybe adding something would be the way. So - this is a known issue I couldn't improve.

The sigh at 1:54 has taken a long time to place properly. I tried to do what you say, but the novelty wore off very quickly, so I added different effects instead.

The rasp you mention - I totally didn't think it would bug anyone. I thought it added to the atmosphere.

I didn't realize what you mention about 2:26-3:10. Yes, it lacks some change in dynamics. The question is, could I change the dynamics without ruining the overall atmosphere? I don't know.

I also experimented with the fading, prolonged the whole fade, but it didn't make much difference.
The looping you mention - the song is not meant to loop. I wanted it to end like it began, with the same theme. That was the idea from the beginning.

DutchMarco:
Thanks for uploading on your server. I normally use modplug central servers, but they're unavailable at the moment.

As I mentioned, the monotonity remains an issue in the first part, but I couldn't just get rid of any part of the melody.
It's true that it's synth heavy, but that's kind of my style. This song is one of the less synthy I made, so you can get the image. My skills (and ideas) in non-synth sounds are developing slowly.

The whole idea behind this piece was the atmosphere. That's why all the effects came in, that's why it begins with the same theme it ends and that's why it's so long. While composing, I just imagined and got inspiration from - you guessed it - sunrise.

Any other thoughts?