I put a new song together...

[Chicky]

I didn't want to use the old thread i started as this song is a much different musical direction than the other songs.

Go to www.myspace.com/audiopuppy and take a listen to 'All things aside'.

Let me know what you think about the song writing and the mixing (im very new to both).

cheers 

[Evil]

I have to admit, when it started playing I thought "Ugh, this is terrible." Then once it got going, I was beatboxing drums and bass lines. It really grew on me.

The guitar line is got some cool tone. The progression is very RadioHead-esque. Haunting, almost. I can't tell for sure, but I think that the main part is one guitar, or possibly two guitars, one playing the lower strings, one playing the open chords.

It really should be a bass playing the progressional melody, and a guitar playing the chords, but not open. The first two chords sound alright, but when they start playing those "deeper" chords to make the melody more dark they get too detailed. I think if you don't play the open notes, it'll sound better.

Vocally, its not that interesting. Could be a little louder so we can hear the lyrics better. Can't really critic them because they're sort of hidden.

[Nikolas]

Now THIS is very nice music! Very very nice! Well done!

Some more extensive feedback in order now. It always depends on what you're going for, but since you have everything live but the drums (and bass possibly, can't tell), it's a shame that the drums are not live. So.

1. The drums are missing some more "live" feeling. but mainly they are missing the hi-hats. The loop you use stands on it's own for he first 4 bars, for example, but then the missing hi-hats really show... I don't know what drums you are using. (you actually have hihat, but it's too low, and no open hihat).
2. I really felt weird with the guitar distortion at first, but listening a bit more, I'm not sure it's bad. It's different alright but it works! Maybe bring down the distortion a bit, but then again maybe not... That's up to you.
3. The lack of reverb on the voice works! WELL DONE!
4. But it is too short You had a 3-4 bar idea, and you didn't build on that really. It does need a normal chorus, bridges etc, to make things work. This "riff" kind of thing, has great potential, but right now it's not developed. I would love to listen to a whole song like that!

5. Song writting: Very nice. Just find a way to variate a little bit the voice and everything else. There is a tad too much repeatition. Make the voice a bit different, or add a second voice at some places, or something anyways.
6. Mixing: Very well done as well. The voice should be louder but other than that it works, and I've told you everything else.

Well done and keep us posted to what you do with this song (or any other)

[Chicky]

Heh Nikolas, you gave feedback on one of my older recordings. But that's all good!

The drum track was prerecorded, it's a default one on the Boss Micro BR we were using. All the song writing stuff is down to me, i find it damn hard to get a verse riff that i'm happy will go with a chorus and visa versa.

And Evil you have some very good points, in actual fact all that is in the 'radiohead sounding' (a very nice complement there pal!) song is me playing guitar and singing, its one guitar all the way through.

I might have to mic up my drum kit and finish some of these songs. Any advice on building bridges and making two riffs that work together as verse and chorus?

[Nikolas]

Whoops...

Listening now to "All things aside".

It is very Radiohead-esque, indeed.

Songwriting is very good again. Short... Needs more work. As I mentioned earlier. Right now it's simply... incomplete, as it is.

On the mixing now there are many more issues here than the other track. The main issue, is not with the volumes of each track problably. The voices, again needs some reverb, and could get a bit higher.

The main problem lies to the fact that you play in the middle register, in all instruments and everything get's muffled up. It is really murky at that frequencies. Becarefull of what you're playing and try using EQ to every single track you have (2 guitars, bass AND the voice, or EQ the voice with the reverb together), and try to take out this so... blubed sound.

But both tracks I listened to are very very good ideas, that need... expansion (and a band probably )

Keep at it:)

EDIT:

Any advice on building bridges and making two riffs that work together as verse and chorus?

hmmm...

not at the moment, no. You just need to keep playing the riff (especially the last two), in your guitars, and try to figure out what could go next. Both songs are rather "calm" in nature, so if you went extreme in the chorus, nobody would mind, as a matter of fact it would be expected. As of chors. A simple move 4 notes up, or 5 notes down (from C to F for example), repeating a simmilar riff could work possibly.

But at the moment I'm rather busy to sit down and give you specific ideas to work with. sorry 'bout that. But when you get some ideas, put them down and see what we think, huh?

[Chicky]

Hey thanks Nikolas!

Someone from a local town has had a listen to the recordings and apparently 'loves my voice' and wants to get together.

He's been playing guitar a good 7 years, which beats my couple of months. So i guess he could teach me a think or two. 

I'll let you know how it goes.