As God as My Witness...

[DGMacphee]

God doesn't make a very good witness. One time I had to go to court and tried to call God as a witness that I wasn't taking a piss in dumpster. God just sat there and said nothing. Now I have to do 200 hours of community service. Moral of the story: God isn't a witness; he's a bastard.

[Kinoko]

I have NEVER in my life heard "As God as my witness".

Never.

I've only ever heard "As God is my witness".

My uncle's a cop and he said God's a shit witness too. Couldn't identify some guy that beat his mate up properly, kept changing his mind about the guy's height and even whether he had a goatee or not! God is a shit witness, says my uncle.

[Snarky]

"As God As My Witness..." is something I hear a lot in U.S. television and films, but it makes no sense.

Are you sure you're not just mishearing "As God is my witness"?

I'd be interested if anyone knows the origins of odd modes of expression. I can't see why Americans (again) are so keen on saying "I could care less" for "couldn't care less", or why we Brits frequently use "literally" when we mean "virtually".

"Literally" for "metaphorically" (i.e. "not literally"), surely? And that's not just a British thing.

It's a natural consequence of the human tendency towards hyperbole. We dilute a metaphor through over-use, and then add "literally" in order to raise its impact above the casual use of the phrase.

"I could eat a horse" is a meaningful metaphor to express hunger, but if enough people say it whenever they're feeling a little bit peckish, it loses all its power. "I could literally eat a horse" recaptures, briefly, some of the original impact of the phrase, before it too is inevitably worn out.

[Timosity]

You can literally use me as a virtual witness as is, god saw nothing

[Mad-Hatter]

I hear "As God as my witness" all the time.

Well, not ALL the time, people don't walk down the street shouting it at random times, but I hear it on Tv a lot.


I suppose it makes sense if you're not really listening...



I hate those new 7up commercials.  "Sablyminal (sp) Advertising".

They're not even pronouncing the word correctly, for God's sake!

[ManicMatt]

"I could eat a horse" is a meaningful metaphor to express hunger, but if enough people say it whenever they're feeling a little bit peckish, it loses all its power. "I could literally eat a horse" recaptures, briefly, some of the original impact of the phrase, before it too is inevitably worn out.

Yep, that's why I'll use my imagination and say something else.

"I'm so hungry I could eat the entire content's of Rik Waller's fridge."

(If you don't know who he is, it's a bad fat person joke)

[Ali]

"As God As My Witness..." is something I hear a lot in U.S. television and films, but it makes no sense.

Are you sure you're not just mishearing "As God is my witness"?

You're right, I was probably hearing "GodÃ,  IS" for "God AS" a lot of the time. But I'm not the only idiot person who's been confused, and others have gone on to write and say "God AS". This is obviously not as widespread as I thought, but it happens. It's similar to people hearing "Could've" and going on to write and say "Could of". That's probably far more common that this God-witness business!

It's a natural consequence of the human tendency towards hyperbole. We dilute a metaphor through over-use, and then add "literally" in order to raise its impact above the casual use of the phrase.

I see your point, and I hadn't thought about that. I don't agree that "literally" rejuvinates a metaphor though. Adding "literally" is the dilution. It undermines the metaphor because metaphors aren't understood literally.

If I say "I could LITERALLY eat the contents of Generic Fat Man's fridge," there's a conflict between what I mean to say and the way I say it. I think adding "literally" clouds the clarity of a metaphor.

[Las Naranjas]

The entire existence of the term (in its correct usage) is to emphasize a lack of hyperbole and metaphor.

[SSH]

Perhaps "as god as my witness" is just a similie, comparing something's god-ness to the persons's witness ...?

or perhaps its like people who say "you could of done it" when they mean "you could have done it": they're deaf and ignorant of grammar.

[Mad-Hatter]

Who knows?


Maybe we should ask God.