Here are the rules:
This is a new chain story. Either be serious about it, or don't write in this thread. I will report anything of nonsense to a mod. This is still for fun so don't take it too seriously.
each person writes only two sentences with the end of the sentence stating, "Meanwhile..."
This is a good way for it and the next person who posts starts the story. The only thing is, you have to use the name, "Jerry" in each post to the story.
It has to be nicely done. Example: Jerry went to the store. Not, "I went to sleep. Jerry."
So have fun. Lets see what we can do with this...
Jerry was just going on his bank robbing spree and got himself loaded with cash and gold. To prevent cops from ever recognising him he got himself some plastic surgery telling the surgeon he was Michael Jackson, Meanwhile...
Ted, "am man of honour in the police department," was drinking a coke at a soda fountain, when he saw Jerry walk by with a shot gun. Ted couldn't help to arrest him so he did. Meanwhile...
Tod gets killed back at the police station for arresting Jerry because no one can recognise Jerry after his surgery. Jerry goes free and has another round of bank robing and plastic surgery. Meanwhile....
animals are a lot like people only sometimes they poo on the carpet. People are also animals, and this includes Jerry. Meanwhile...
jerry, "Looking like an animal, turns to his pe dog, and says, "Wuff Wuff!" His dog looked at him like he was foolish, and walked away. Meanwhile...
The dog, known to his friends as "vertigo", then logged on to internet porn. Jerry was disgusted, yet amused at this wacky turn of events. Meanwhile....
Far away, a mad scientist, who goes by the name of Borkenstein Krakken, is hatching a diabolical scheme. This plan involves Jerry, a dog, and 14 kitchen knives. There is no telling what is in store for poor Jerry this week, but we can bet it isn't god. Meanwhile,.....
Trapezoid was/is confused by the switching from past tense to present tense and back, and also by everything else. He also wondered/wonders why this Jerry fellow was/is so popular around town. Trapezoid then suffered/suffers a fatal heart attack and collapsed/collapses. Meanwhile...
Jerry is bumped into by a overweight prostitute and looses four toes. Meanwhile...
A clown had, with a horrible act, got booed off the stage. Apparent'y he wasn't Jerry funny. Meanwhile...
A man was stuck in a line at McDonald's because the old lady in front of him was paying for her order with pennies. He should've just bought some Ben and Jerry ice cream. Meanwhile...
The 14 kitchen knives from the evil plot go on strike and kill the scientist. Jerry switches from bank robbing to stealing cars and runs over george Bush and John Howard while the police chase him. Meanwhile...
Jerry Jerry was in a hurry. Jerry liked berry very much, Jerry did, Jerry Jerry did Jerry Jerry berry hurry bury pully Jerry poopie commie jerk meanwhile...
Phil Reed messed up the Jerry thread. Meanwhile...
Jerry gets angry as Guybrush Threepwood is talking to Pegnose Pete in front of him. Jerry takes his handy dandy... Knife blade! Meanwhile...
/me gets confused
meanwhile...
Mr. Panda dosen't fowllow the rules of the thread.
*Jerry attacks with a flamethrower
Meanwhile...
Sasha gets confused at the weird turn of events. Jerry loads his spaceship with tons and tons of tomatoes and creates life on Mars. meanwhile
Mars explodes and Jerry Cherry (for the surname of Jerry is indeed Cherry) is propelled very, very far into the deepest of space where he still doesn't die because Jerry Merry Cherry (for the middle name of Jerry Cherry is indeed Merry hence the situation of Merry snugly in between the surname of Cherry and the affectionate shortening of his christian birthname Jerry) is indestructable.
While floating in netherness Jerry composes a sonnet that begins with the word "meanwhile"...
Mr.Jerry M. Cherry lands on the moon and teaches the moon people to swear. He is made into a god of the moon people who look like walking talking butts. meanwhile..
The old god of the walking, talking butts of the moon started working on a highly complicated plan to terminate Jerry, using nothing but two chewing gums, a dog and 14 kitchen knifes. Meanwhile..
Jerry uncovers the old god's evil plan and kills the old god with the chewing gum. Jerry starts to miss Earth and builds another spaceship out of toilet seats that the moon people use for beds. He starts the spaceship and misses Earth, landing on planet "the planet of pointy-poitny knives and hot boiling oil and rooms filled with hungry-hungry sex crazed rats", Meanwhile...
meanwhile nothing. Jerry has a rockin' good time with the sex-crazed rats! Go get em Jerr!!!!!! Rawrrrrr!!!
Meanwhile...
Jerry's strenght runs out and he can no longer please them. They dress him like a taxman and send him into the times of robin hood through their time machine they found in the ruins of a superiour race that got extinct long long ago. He is attacked by Ribbon Boot, who is a Robin Hood tryhard. Meanwhile...
The constable of Blottingham has put up a (tax deductable) reward for the capture of Ribbon Boot. Upon hearing this news Jerry yells "Zoobungies for Thurtles" which turns Ribbon into a cute baby turtle.
meanwhile...
Ribbon boot is made into turtle soup(yum yum!) and Jerry finds Homer Simpson's time traveling toaster. He is transported to the year 2012 december 22, the day the X-files predicted to be the day of the final invasion; and indeed the Earth got invaded by those annoying " shoot the duck" banner ads. Jerry dresses up like Duke Nukem and goes off to bash some monkey. Meanwhile...
meanwhile nothing. Jerry has a rockin' good time with those "shoot the duck" banner ads! Go get em Jerr!!!!!! Rawrrrrr!!!
Meanwhile...
However, after a while the banner ads get bored with Jerry because he always misses and hits the monkey. Jerry isn't beeing a very good Duke Nukem because he hasn't got muscles and has a stringly body. Besides, all he got is a measly shotgun. He hasn't even got a bazooka! The monkeys and the ducks tie him up and carry him to a sectret temple somewhere in the jungle.Jerry is tobe sacrificed. Meanwhile...
Jerry Nukem dukes bean lamb curd tau. Monkey bean muscle duck temptle bored Jerry miss rats java bean. Gore habit knightly toga barmaid jamboree turtle cow bean form. Llama lamb chow bean monkey bean duke Jerry bean jab cut slaphappy toga bean.
Meanwhile...
Bean lamb curd tau is not happy. It doesn't like beeing duked. It yells and jumps up and down and ties Jerry up. Jerry chews the ropes (which turn out to be chewing gum) and makes a giant balloon and floats away. He falls in the sea where he meets Chowder, the hungry hungry sex crazed rat who helps Jerry get back to "the planet of pointy pointy knives and boiling oil and rooms filled with hungry hunry sex crazed rats" but this time Jerry is not welcome because Jerry's long-lost twin brother Terry J. Fat is already there and he is etter than Jerry in every aspect. Jerry cries and cries like an onion-poisoned cafeteria worker and uses the rats' time machine to get back to earth but accidentaly ends up on the planet "taxmen rule!", meanwhile...
Jerry learns that in a very ironic twist, tax men do NOT in fact rule the planet "Taxmen rule!" It is, rather, run by insurance agents, but Jerry learns soon afterward that this isn't ironic at all because insurance agents are called Taxmen on the planet "Taxmen rule!" and therefore the irony stems entirely from Jerry's incurable ethnocentrism. Also Jerry tries to pee and blood comes out.
Meanwhile...
A vampric taxman/insurance salesman sees that Jerry is weeing blood and flies to his house on a magic goat. Jerry is bitten by the taxman but survives the ordeal only to become something indescribably hideous... a lawyer (attourney). Meanwhile
Jerry sues the vampire and gets lots and lots of money, but the money is not tax deductable and incurs 200% tax. Jerry multiplies that by a negative number and buys himself a push bike. He fuels himself with crisps and chocolate and other things that give you a heart disorder and rides his bike back to Earth. He becomes the best writer of survival stories ever, but get's bored and joins the navy, meanwhile...
Jerry's ship, the U.S.S. Armpit, is attacked by a band of albino pirates. They climb aboard and steal all their sunscreen. Jerry covers himself with flour as a disguise and sneaks aboard the pirate ship. Meanwhile...
time is constructed of units such as hours, minutes and seconds. Jerry forgets to bring his watch aboard the ship so the pirates taunt him by counting the hours minutes and seconds whenever Jerry is within earshot. When he sleeps, he dreams of his mother being sodomized by a jackyl. Meanwhile...
Jerry discovers the pirates' stock of mobile phones and wastes all their money SMSing the hungry hungry sex crazed rats. The pirates can't pay their morgage and their ship gets taken away.Jerry returns back to serve in the navy and he is promoted to the rank of Commodore. However, after a while he retires and joins the CIA, meanwhile...
Jerry's first mission was to find the Holy Remote Control Unit before it falls in the wrong hands. It was located in the steaming jungles of Canada. The journey is littered with sidequests! Meanwhile...
Jerry hires an army of cleaners to clean up the sidequests(do the right thing, put the sidequests in the bin!). He gets the Holy Remote Control Unit, but it beeing so holy Jerry can't touch it because he is not holy. For failing to touch the Holy Remote Control Unit he is dissmised from CIA and sent to the underground credit card mines, where credit cards are mined by ex-jokeys, underwear models and unknown boy bands, meanwhile...
Day and night, Jerry plans how to get the underwear models not to ignore him. He performs credit card fraud and bribes the guard(who is a male underwear model) and gets out, meanwhile...
He desides to join the "Merry Ole Garbage Men" who rob people of their dignity and give it to polititians.He is quite successful and becomes the head of all "Merry Ole Garbage Men". He enforses a new uniform which is green organza dresses and pink protective overalls.Meanwhile...
The brilliant dentists of Oral-B invent the first artifically intelligent toothbrush, The Jerryizer 3000. Jerryizer, tired of sticking his head into smelly mouths, escapes the laboratory, then runs for President of the United States, with a dental floss dispenser as his running mate. Thanks to his incredible charisma and tax cuts on toothpaste, he wins by a landslide, making him the second appliance to win the presidency, after Ronald Regan. Jerryizer's first act as president is to declare war on Iplaque.
Meanwhile...
Jerry becomes Jerryizer's rival and kills him in hand-to-brush battle. Jerry becomes the ruler of US and "Merry Ole Garbage Men" are his lapdogs. Jerry's long-lost twin sister, Jeray, despises Jerry and liberates US by spiking Jerry's breakfast cereal with extra-drowsy formula cold and flu tablets. Jerry falls during his speech and is presumed drunk. He is trown into prison and fed with only potato crisps and chocolate, meanwhile...
The Holy Remote Control Unit finally falls in the wrong hands: a saber-toothed monkey! He can't read, of course, so he pushes a random button. Suddenly, blue and green polka dots appear on the sky. Delighted, the monkey presses another button. All the jails in America crumble to dust, leaving Jerry free and America overrun with criminals. Meanwhile...
Jerry is on the run. Jeray is determined to kill Jerry. She buys a UFO from the goverment and bombs people with watermelons, meanwhile...
Little does Jeray know that her UFO's only weakness is watermelon seeds. Jerry puts some in his mouth and spits them at Jeray, knocking her out of the sky. Just then, the Mad Tickler, who escaped after all the prisons evaporated, tickles Jeray to the point of hiccups. With his sister incapacitated, Jerry makes his daring (if clumsy) escape! Meanwhile...
Jeray still doesn't give up! She buys a kangaroo and rides it to the north pole to the only toilet seat factory in the world. She bribes the factory's master elf and makes a giant cannon. She sets up the cannon to shoot Jerry, meanwhile...
Obviously someone didn't pay attention to the rules of the story. You're only supposed to use two sentences Sasha.
Quote from: Hosamov on Wed 22/01/2003 03:12:16
each person writes at least two sentences
Ho ho ho! The starter of the Jerry thread doesn't remember the rules he himsel set and forgets to use the word Jerry. Sasha gets amused, meanwhile...
Jerry quickly reads Hacking for Drooling Morons and becomes a world-class hacker. He then hacks into Jeray's cannon's targeting system, and aims it straight up in the air, and when she fires, the 60 megaton payload of dirty diapers falls back on her head. Meanwhile...
Jeray makes another cannon which has a manual targeting system. She locates Jerry, shoots the 4 aiming shots, calculates and shoots the target, however, the target Jeray hit is not Jerry but a straw dummy, meanwhile...
Jerry goes home as the straw dummy was his friend. Jarey thinks life is boring and committs suicide. Meanwhile...
A small anti-Jerry cult brings Jeray back to life. Jeray doesn't want to join them as she likes working alone and goes off to buy some Jerry poison (it's like ant poison butit only works on Jerry), meanwhile...
Jeray accidentally puts the Jerry poison in Jerry Springer's meatloaf sandwich, who eats it and dies. Many a redneck is in mourning, as their marital problems will remain unsolved. Meanwhile...
JERRY SPRINGER IS DEAD! Jerry commits suicide but a small anti-jerry cult brings him back to have the pleasure of killing him themselves. Jerry escapes the killing ritual with the help of Pratrius, a hungry hungry sex crazed rat that missed Jerry and tried to find him and by accident turned out to be in the right place at the right time. Meanwhile...
Jerry realises that due to a mix-up, Jerry Springer is not dead but rather Rosie O'Donnell: Rednecks everywhere rejoice. The hungry crazed rat has Jerry's lovechild which looks exactly like... Rosie O'Donnell. Meanwhile...
Jerry's son, Sadatamircadamhuzzadabuhalibudud doesn't like Jerry. He goes off and joins Jeray in her quest to assasinate Jerry, meanwhile...
Jerry, realizing there are so many people after him, builds a huge fortress with six foot thick walls and an invincible force field, and guarded by dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees (borrowed from the Simpsons). With a false sense of security, he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and, noticing his toothbrush strangling him, looks at the brand: Jerryizer 3000! Meanwhile...
/me laughs his head off..as hosamov forgot to use the word "jerry" in his post!!!! meanwhile
*note: I followed the rules there*
Hosamov hits Mr. Panda for pointing that out to him about Jerry. Jerry Becomes loose from the toothbrush of death. Meanwhile...
As a side effect of the resurrection spell from the Church of the Destruction of Jerry, Jeray turns into cheddar cheese at the second Wednesday of each month. The hungry hungry sex crazed rats come running, and can't decide whether to eat her or hump her leg. Meanwhile...
Jerry said, "I'm not talking about sex!" I'm talking about Cheddar Cheese.... Meanwhile...
By accident, Sadatamircadamhuzzadabuhalibudud goes to a small diner on the second Wednesday of May and eats Jeray in a sandwich. Sadatamircadamhuzzadabuhalibudud promises to avenge Jeray and sets offto kill Jerry, meanwhile...
Relising that to avenge Jeray, Jeray's killer must die, Sadatamircadamhuzzadabuhalibudud changes his name to Jeroy so that he doesn't know where to find himself. George Bush decides that the Jerryizer dental hygiene system is a weapon of mass destruction and orders them all destroyed. Meanwhile...
The Church of the Destruction of Jerry, after receiving word of Jeray's demise, raise the Lemon Demon from the depths of the underworld by singing Trapezoid's song. The Lemon Demon then sets up a lemonade stand next to Jerry's impenetrable fortress. Meanwhile...
Jerry smells the lemonade and jumps out of the window. Pratrius catches him just in time and saves him, however, that Pratrius wasn't the real Pratrius but a robot Jeroy made out of five year old sausages and old door locks. He takes him to Jeroy's underground lab and sews Jerry Springer's head to Jerry's shoulder so now Jerry has two heads that respond to the name Jerry but one solves marital problems of rednecks and the other drools and dreams of cheating with it's wife (Jerry needs a wife to do that), meanwhile...
The audience is not amused by Jerry Springer's "new look" and throws beer cans and dead skunks at our hero's head. At the water treatment plant, Cupid, possibly driven mad by diaper rash, dumps 100 gallons of Love Potion #9 in the water supply. Meanwhile...
Love potion makes Jerry Springer's head fall in love with a zombie and it rips itself from Jerry and sticks itself onto the zombie. Jerry, beeing a moron and all, doesn't fall in love but suddenly starts to like cigarettes and smokes Jeroy to death. Jeroy's girlfriend, Jeruy, goes off to avenge Jeroy, meanwhile...
Jeruy goes to Jerry's Impenetrable Fortress and deactivates the forcefield with an ordinary toaster oven. The dogs with bees in their mouths come to attack, but Jeruy's got honey roasted barbecue chicken! Meanwhile...
The dogs jam the chicken into their mouths and the chicken gets stuck!Because the chicken blocks their view, the dogs run around and accidentaly headbutt each other until they have an IQ of 3. Jeruy hopson the back of one dog, tickles it's nose so it sneezes and lets the chicken fly and rides into Jerry's fortress, meanwhile...
In Jerry's fortress, Jeruy runs into Ed the Dragon. Just when he's about to eat her, Jeruy asks Ed if he gets paid enough, and, realizing that he doesn't get paid at all, Ed goes on strike. Meanwhile...
Jeruy pays Ed the adorable Dragon(because that's his full name) 54 and a half cents and a piece of chewing gum to attack Jerry. Jerry runs, meanwhile...
Jeruy hatches an evil plan to eliminate the Jerry thread by letting it slip on to page 2. Jerry foils this plan by hiring someone who should have better things to do to post a new message. Meanwhile...
Ed hates Jerry. When he cooks Jerry's steak, he doesn't cook it throughand Jerry gets sick from eating raw meat, meanwhile...
Jerry, realizing he still has his dignity stealing powers from The Merry ole Garbage Men, folds a paper airplane and flies to France, where they have dignity coming out of their ears. He steals all their dignity, which makes him grow into a 1000 foot, superdignified monster. Meanwhile...
The French, now that they don't have their dignity, all turn to politics, therefore making France something terrible. Jerry flies from France only to find his long lost twin brother, Terry J. Fat, living in his fortress. Everyone loves Terry and his last name isn't who Terry is, so Jerry steals Terry's dignity and beeing powered by it he flies to a planet called "Plotitians drink tomato soup out of bleached human skulls", meanwhile..
A moderator of the AGS forum, seeing how awesome this thread is, makes it sticky. Jerry's enemies angrily boycott AGS and use rival adventure game makers, but it doesn't affect profits because there are none! Meanwhile...
The plotitians, which is another term for polititians, see Jerry's skull as a perfect cup to drink tomato soup out of. They chase after him gloating and drooling, meanwhile...
While floating in space, he land's on a big planet. But Jerry Merry Cherry,(son of kerry Cherry) is traumatised for the rest of his life, when he se' s an alien in a horrific accident involving canned peas, an electric floor waxer, and a cardboard cut-out sheep (from wales). However...
Jerry listens in on a conversation and discovers that the all the orthodontists in the world are trying to rule the Earth by installing mind control devices in everybody's braces. That explains why a piece of wire could cost so much. Meanwhile...
Jerry gets a job as agladiator and kills emperor Busheus Pretzelus. The baked beans he ate for breakfast that day make him float afew inches form the ground on his back, meanwhile...
A fart is brewing in his ass. Suddenly he lets it out, killing everyone on the alien planet, and propelling himself back to earth. meanwile
After giving Jimi a long and painful braces tightening for not using "Jerry" in his post, the Orthodontists Bent on Overthrowing Earth (OBOE) swear revenge on Jerry. They install a set of self-destructing braces on Jerry while he sleeps. Meanwhile...
Jerry breaks all rules of looking after his braces by eating an under ripe granny smith apple. Because the apple is so sour, Jerry's face twists and turns into a horrible whirlpool-like thing, meanwhile...
Somebody who is not Jerry, but is instead Farmer John, feels like a fool for discovering that after all these years, he still hasn't removed the watch he has been carrying around in his ass ever since vietnam. Meanwhile...
after realising Jimi DOESN'T WEAR BRACES!!!!!, (and that you don't have to say "Jerry") JERRY, gives spork master a super wedgie, and a dirty look. (oooooooooh)
OBOE activates their mind controlling braces and send their legions of teenagers after Jerry. Fast food restaurants around the globe are suddenly understaffed. Meanwhile....
The merry ole garbage men help Jerry escape and Jerry earns a pretty penny employing the "ex employees of merry ole garbage men" to work in fast food restaraunts. Jerry is rich, rich rich!, meanwhile...
A sniper on the top of the empire state building tries to shoot the president while his parade is going on, but as he is sooooo high, he accidentally shoots Jerry in the head. Jerry is loaded into an "ambulance" only it was actually the car of a secret organisation who want to make clones of Jerry, and take over the WORLD!!!!!! meanwhile....
Clones of Jerry take over the world, and bastard children of Jerry run around everywhere. A female super hero, Jeryy, desides to end the chaos, meanwhile...
A super villain with an "orgasm gun" shoots Jeryy. She falls to the ground, as helpless as... as ...erm...a person having an orgasm? Meanwhile...
Sasha resurects the Jerry thread (hip hip hooray! ya all). Jeryy is not really helpless because in the reality she lives in the statistics from penile enlargement spam are true and Jeryy is not in the 0.001% of the people who are allowed to have orgasms. She flies high in the sky and stabs the supervillian with a plastic fork, meanwhile..
An evil plot was brewing to destroy Jerry.
THE MODERATORS HAVE COME!!!
:P :P :P
Jerry fell down a bottomless pit whil being chased by a pack of angry rednecks.
The ressurection!
The angry rednecks all get heart attacks for no apparent reason. Jerry changes his underwear for the first time in his life and realises that he/she is really a woman and not a man with moobs. She joins the airforce and accidentaly flies her plane to the moon, crashing and killing every moon man in sight. Later she realises that she shouldn't have eaten those weird looking mushrooms and the airforce bit was a dream but the bit about Jerry being a woman is real, meanwhile...