We've Got Problems

LGM · Tue 15/02/2005 17:24:57

I remember when I felt like home here.

Andail · Tue 15/02/2005 17:53:50

"until I get my tax refund and the $300 appreciation gift from Microsoft."

Does this mean people (provided that somebody gives you money...) will get back their money once you recieve that refund?
Unless ags-members are much richer than I assumed, I bet most people here have needs of their own, much more urgent than a temporary graphic card for some guy they never met.

SSH · Tue 15/02/2005 17:58:48

In the UK you can't breathe for loan company adverts in the middle of the best programs. Presumably such things as banks and finance companies exist in the US as well...

LGM · Tue 15/02/2005 18:00:07

I'm kinda young to get a loan.

Also, Andail, I meant that I could buy a better graphics card.. But yea, I'd be willing to pay back those who helped.

I still have a few more options before this is my last hope. But I figured I'd try my luck.

Al_Ninio · Tue 15/02/2005 18:19:57

Funny, I just saw this in my inbox.

Quote
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.

THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT.

HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS.

PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY'S SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY'S NAME TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND RE-AWARD THE CONTRACT IN YOUR COMPANY'S NAME.

WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

ANDREW EDMARK

Jokes aside.
Why don't you just save those 20-30 dollars?
Jeez.
My old computer got fried, and I don't recall myself asking for money from people I don't know on some internet messageboard.

LGM · Tue 15/02/2005 18:24:50

...

Privateer Puddin' · Tue 15/02/2005 18:30:24

but Lokitorrent provided a service that many people used, and you're just here making threads like this

Dave Gilbert · Tue 15/02/2005 18:35:10

LGM, you might want to check around the net a bit.Ã,Â Last year, I found a great graphics card online for $70.Ã,Â I forget the site, alas.

DGMacphee · Tue 15/02/2005 18:35:50

Hi... I'm Bob Saget...

This is Andrew Edmark. There are many boys just like him without the necessities in life. For just $1 a week you can sponser a boy like Andrew so that he may drink fresh water, wear clean clothes, go to school, get a job, and earn some money to buy a video card. If you ring now, we'll throw in a set of these:

So, ring now!

P.S. I'll suck this:

For some of this:

Yeah, give Daddy some medicine!

LGM · Tue 15/02/2005 18:37:01

...

DGMacphee · Tue 15/02/2005 18:42:17

If you sponser $2 a week, you can also help him buy some CDs to stop his illegal MP3 addiction.

LGM · Tue 15/02/2005 18:44:19

I felt like I could ask you guys in this forum because I thought you'd be mature and nice about it. I guess not.

Pumaman · Tue 15/02/2005 18:49:17

Oh come on, seriously, did you really expect anyone to send you money? You could earn $20 by working a couple of hours overtime, and expecting people who barely know you to send money over the internet so that you can buy a graphics card seems to be going a bit far.

Squinky · Tue 15/02/2005 18:55:06

With Bob Saget endorsing you, I'm sure you'll have your card in no time.....heh

I missed the posts before all those "..." and other edits happened. Why did you need a card all of a sudden, your old one take a crap on yah?

TerranRich · Tue 15/02/2005 19:01:44

Eh, it's just a bit of teasing, LGM, don't take any of it personally...except from DGMacphee, that horrible bastard.

I'll send you $5 LGM. Will that help?

MrColossal · Tue 15/02/2005 19:02:50

Quote from: [lgm] on Tue 15/02/2005 17:24:57
I remember when I felt like home here.

What are you talking about LGM?

Is it the fact that DG made some jokes at the expense of this thread? Are we not allowed to joke about anything now? Should we have a special icon to add to threads to let everone know "NO JOKES!"?

You've been a member here for a long time, you should know that comedy happens all the time. Don't take it so personally because it isn't personal. I don't know if you know that but DG isn't posting in this thread because he hates you, he's posting because he had what he felt was a funny idea and posted, it isn't to get you and you alone.

I'm sorry that you broke your computer but asking for 30 bucks from the internet is just silly. Borrow 10 dollars from 3 real life friends and you're good to go.

Also, a thread titled "We've got problems" when it's clearly you who has the problem is also funny. Not because you're stupid and I hate you and OMG HoW DuM!! But just cause it's funny. It's like a thread titled "THE WORLD IS OVER!" and finding that it's just a thread about someone losing the source to their game... It's just funny...

Oh well, whateva'
eric

Nacho · Tue 15/02/2005 19:04:35

Dear Squinky

"Witnesses say he needs the money for getting a cheap 3-D card, start a session in his computer, and recovery graphics from a project... All that mess has happened because he tried to install linux. Kermitt the frog informing for Sesame Street news."

Squinky · Tue 15/02/2005 19:10:07

Well, that clears that up. I've always enjoyed Kermit as a journalist, even though we all know he's part of the liberal media's plot to legalize beastiality....

DGMacphee · Tue 15/02/2005 19:19:06

I thought I was helping LGM get teh moneys.

Andail · Tue 15/02/2005 19:34:26

Ok, lockety time.

Today we've learnt that if we need a small amount of money, we:
1. Work some extra nights at our job
2. Borrow from our family
3. Borrow from real life buddies
4. Just wait patiently until we get the $300 gift certificate which is about to come

And LGM, this is still your home, mate. And just like in a real home, you can't just expect to get money all of a sudden for no important reason.