Has anyone had an exciting life? I know I had!!! Boy, them were some good times... Yup! Now I'm just the olde village crazy (wheezing laugh + cough! cough!). Now you youngsters go ahead and tell grandpa' your favourite story about what's happened you! Like the time you went swimming with Carl Bergmans girlfriend while he was feeding the dog and he caught you!?!
Now I'll just be puttin' my hearing aid on and you can go ahead tellin' me your stories... Done
(cough1)
PS: You tell me yours I'll tell you mine!!!
(cough!!! Wheeze!!!)
Well, there was this time I defeated the Ghost Pirate LeChuck...
And I once fucked Elaine Marley...
I once tied a bus to a bench.
I did Bob Marley...
Did you Get (it) Up, Stand Up?
No woman, no cry. Big squinky, big cry
I once killed this guy Haddas for showing me what a boring and dull life i have had
I once killed Bill Gates.
I shot the sheriff,
but I didn't shoot Bill Gates
I was in a car accident at the age of two, thanks to my dad. Coma in three days. I had to learn everything I've learnt again. That was just SO exciting...
Thanks dad, I appreciate it.
Plus, I've has sexual contact with Heidi 8)
That was exciting 8)
Let me tell you a story about HORSES!!!
They're horrible!!! They always try to kill me! When I was three, a horse ran me over and left a huge scar on my forehead(real) which looks like a lying half-moon.... or a :(
I think it was two years later, when I rode that very same horse. It threw me off and I cracked my arm. *!!!CraCK!!!* (sounds nasty doesn't it?!?)
Now I hate horses.... Which is very unfortunate because my mom has 14 horses! Darn my life!!!
Okay, I'll tell you a true story:
I was reading an issue of Women's Day, which is one of the tabloid-ish mags that all the 30-80 year olds read -- It's full of gossip and shit, like People magazine in the US.
Anyway, I'm reading this thing and I find this article on Britney Spears having to sell her house because of a ghost.
But not just any ghost, mind you, but this ghost would haunt Britney by tweeking her nipple piercing while she slept.
So, I kinda thought, "Shit, if you're a ghost haunting Britney Spears' house what else are you going to do? (Apart from living in her panty drawer and possessing her gym shorts)"
Anyway, that night I dreamt I died and became a ghost -- While thinking back to the article, I thought there was only one way I could make the most of the afterlife.
Best dream I've had in ages!
True story.
EDIT: As an afterthough, I also no longer fear death.
My story was true as well.
damn father...