the "MOCK THE DRUNK" thread

[MrColossal]

there are many things that people do that ruin their bodies tho raggit.

many people become addicted to endorphines while running and they basically destroy their bodies trying to get that runner's high.

apparently eating charred skin from a bbq will harm your body.

so i guess the question is this, it isn't a good idea for what? for a healthy body? some people don't see a healthy body and living till 102 as what they want out of life, fun always costs something and for some people fun costs brain cells or a healthy liver.

just don't post on the forums when you're having too much fun please

[Robert Eric]

I might as well post this little joke.  I have many drunk jokes, incase anyone wants me to post them too:

A good-OLE-boy staggered home late on New Years Eve after another evening with his drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway.

As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprang up, pulled down his pants and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway, then managed to find a large full box of band aids before proceeding to place a patch as best he could on each place he saw blood. After hiding the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle and stumble his way to bed.

Morning, he awakens with screaming pain in head and butt to find his wife staring at him from across the room, and hears her say: "You were drunk again last night!!!"

Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her and replied: "Now Hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the glass at the bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house, and your bloodshot eyes but, mostly....

...it's all those band aids stuck on the downstairs mirror!"

[MillsJROSS]

I don't think kids ten years old drinking has anything to do with the world "today." I'm almost positive that as long as parents have been getting sloshed kids have also been having there fun. It's not a problem that just suddenly sprung up (if it's even a problem at all). I think that no matter how old you are, there should just be one guideline, drink responsibly. For instance, I like to go out and have fun with my friends and with alchohol. But I always keep tabs on how much I drink, and I've never forgotten a night. The trick is to know your limit between happy drunk and "I'm going to piss my pants drunk, but luckily I won't remember it in the morning." That applies universaly. Whether you're more apt to become drunk as an adult vs. a kid is up for debate. But I'd say if you can't have fun without alchohol or if you're getting drunk by yourself, you have problem no matter how old you are.

As to posting on the forums...I've done this several times, however, I tend to do it when I'm wound down, and am sobering up. Which means I've had my fun. However, if you're idea of fun is getting drunk and then going onto the forums for kicks right after you may have several problems (most of them social issues).

-MillsJROSS

[Layabout]

I used to post when I was drunk all the time here. But I used to drink everynight back then...

ah those were the days.

Now I only do it on special occasions.

[DGMacphee]

the reason I say "Don't post on the forums drunk" is because do you know how many times someone has posted something stupid or repeatedly posted "penish" over and over again and then said "Whoops, sorry I was drunk haha silly me!"?

The real reason is cause Eric doesn't want to eat Pirate Jack's balls again: http://www.agsforums.com/yabb/index.php?board=3;action=display;threadid=12539;start=msg150583#msg150583

I wouldn't want to either -- Pirates don't wash.

[Andail]

Having been on this forum for a while and studied my and other's alcohol-influenced ramblings, I've become sort of an expert in recognizing "true" or "pretended" drunkeness.

I think the basic rule is that you can spell pretty darn well until you're more or less stoned, but the tighter you get, the faster do you hit the "space" key, resulting in strange sentence-constructions rather than misspelling of simple words.

The clearest sign of pretending is that you try to imitate how drunkards speak while drunk in the text, like
"you sschtole my car, you...you...baschtard!!" Obviously, nobody would type like this while drunk.

However, another aspect must be taken into consideration, which is that the tighter you get, the more fun does it seem to pretend to be even drunker. In other words, just being little drunk can increase the tendency to purposefully appear even less eloquent and more leet.

This piece of unimportant fact was brought to you by Andail, 2004

[Chicky]

i drink when im down, it lifts my spirits. Thats the only reason.

Im sorry for pissing people off, cant we just forget about this now.



-OSC

[MrColossal]

"Nothing like a depressent to chase the blues away!"

[Nine Toes]

March 31, 2004. 4:19 a.m.

I'm drunk... so much for "trying to quit".

[jetxl]

Alcohol isn't evil. You become loser, get more selfconfidence, funnier, and more tolerant.
Alcohol is adictive, but it't not like one drop will turn you into a junky. If you just drink a few beers in the weekend, there should be no problem. Enjoy, but know when to stop.

You don't want to wake up married to this skank.

[Chicky]

hey kool, jet thinks like me!

-OSC

[Czar]

Well, today I have almost-first-hand there is evidence for Farlanders not smart to drink when 15.

You see I was in school today, like usual, when this friend of mine came into the class ( the class is not really something, you can enter and exit whenever you want) and asked me do I know a guy. She says he's from the same town where I am from, then I remember him, he was a guy 1 year younger than me, you know, a generation younger, and I said yes. Then she said, he died today.
I really couldnt believe it, you know, a guy I knew, he was like 15 and all, etc.
Then I asked her how do you know this, then she said that when she was out she saw half of his friends that went to junior school or whatever with him crying in the hall....

Anyway, I'm going to the point.

So there he was on this trip with his class, and they were all happy, and were riding in a 2 story Bus.
The guy was a bit drunk, nothing strange, after all, it was a school trip. Does anybody need better reasons?
And then he wanted to joke around so he saw a hatch on the roof of the bus, which was for the air. And he chose to have a little bit of fun, so he climed up, and there he was, with his head through the roof, all happy, while the 2-story bus was going 60 mph under a lets say tunnel.
You can imagine the rest.
Yeah.
It was a really good choice he made, and a really great day for everyone...
He drank, and he felt the consequences.
If I didnt knew him, I'd probably be saying stuff like: He left his head home, or stuff, but "#%"$ARRGHHH.
enough writing.

End

[Nacho]

Well, today I have almost-first-hand there is evidence for Farlanders not smart to drink when 15.

You see I was in school today, like usual, when this friend of mine came into the class ( the class is not really something, you can enter and exit whenever you want) and asked me do I know a guy. She says he's from the same town where I am from, then I remember him, he was a guy 1 year younger than me, you know, a generation younger, and I said yes. Then she said, he died today.
I really couldnt believe it, you know, a guy I knew, he was like 15 and all, etc.
Then I asked her how do you know this, then she said that when she was out she saw half of his friends that went to junior school or whatever with him crying in the hall....

Anyway, I'm going to the point.

So there he was on this trip with his class, and they were all happy, and were riding in a 2 story Bus.
The guy was a bit drunk, nothing strange, after all, it was a school trip. Does anybody need better reasons?
And then he wanted to joke around so he saw a hatch on the roof of the bus, which was for the air. And he chose to have a little bit of fun, so he climed up, and there he was, with his head through the roof, all happy, while the 2-story bus was going 60 mph under a lets say tunnel.
You can imagine the rest.
Yeah.
It was a really good choice he made, and a really great day for everyone...
He drank, and he felt the consequences.
If I didnt knew him, I'd probably be saying stuff like: He left his head home, or stuff, but "#%"$ARRGHHH.
enough writing.

End

Getting pissed drunk is never smart... I just meant that it's better to catch 5 or 6 haddocks when being 15 than when married, with a job, children and a little dog at home...

[Peter Thomas]

That's a pretty devastating story.

I can see where Farl is coming from (saying that it's better to learn your lesson young), but I sort of disagree in some respects. I think kids who learn to be drunk as kids are learning to be drunk as adults.

There aren't that many drinkers I know who have undergone a radical transformation and realised that they're screwing up a lot of (possible) things in their life. They just learn to 'cope' with being pissed, and think that they can get away with it.

Which is stupid.

Damn.... I seem to be posting in all these 'kids are dumb' topics.... I think I need a councillor... 8)