The unsolvable puzzle of aging

[BerserkerTails]

Interesting read, everyone.

Well, I'm probably in the middle age group or so of these forums, I'm 18. Personally, I couldn't be happier with the way my life seems in a state of flux. I've just graduated from High School, and in September I'm going to be starting at University. I'm looking forward to it, and whatever will come after it.

I guess I'm not too afraid of Aging, as I have my parents as a good example. My dad is nearly 50, and he's exactly like myself, only with more geek experience. He loves movies and video games, and hasn't given up the things he did when he was a youth.

I think that when people get older, it's a choice they make. No one says you have to become an old-fart, with lime green pants on, playing bingo all day. I know I'm going to choose to stay the same person, only with an older face. I'll still go see movies on opening night, I'll still pre-order video games, and I'll still make music.

Getting old doesn't have to change anything.

[passer-by]

Getting old doesn't have to change anything.

Provided that you are reasonably healthy, mobile and unaffected by dementia and such.
If the above stands, getting old in heart is a matter of choice.

in September I'm going to be starting at University. I'm looking forward to it,

Hmmm, right...
Please report back after your first essay.
<evil, knowing smile>
Just joking, enjoy your studies, have a nice time and an achievable target...

[Blackthorne]

You're always going to get older. Ã,  That's never going to stop.

What can stop is your zest for the DAY, and you start worrying about tomorrow. Ã, Then your life becomes about ALWAYS living for the future. Ã, Enjoy the moment. Ã, I'm not talking about freebasing cocaine while driving a stolen Corvette and listening to "The Macarena" - but savor the moments in a day that you enjoy. Ã, If you smoke, enjoy every smoke. Ã, If you drink, enjoy every sip. Ã, If you converse, enjoy every word.

It's like Warren Zevon said just before he died: "Enjoy every sandwich." Ã, 

Try not to put off too much for "tomorrow". Ã, For tomorrow may never come.



Bt

[Ponch]

Getting older is nothing to worry about. At 32, I don't feel different than I did at 22. Of course, it helps that I take care of myself (note to all you people in your late teens and early twenties: Stop the pizza and sodas right now! In a few years, they'll catch up with you and you'll have a hell of a time getting rid of that weight).

Sure, some days I do feel the years a little bit, mostly after I spent an afternoon playing football with friends. But all that tells me is that I don't "bounce" the way I used to. I also can't stay up for three days on smokes and coffee and then expect to recover on just six hours of sleep. And while I know it will only get worse with time, the trade offs are more than worth it.

I have more money than I did ten years ago. I have more freedom. And I have more responsibilities than I used to. Strangely, that last one becomes a positive the older you get. You ever teach a kid to tie her shoes or teach a younger friend to drive a car? It's unexplainably neat and not something you could do when you were a kid yourself.

Best of all, I have the experience that only comes to you through living. I know what is really worth worrying about and what isn't. Things don't stress me out or keep me up a night like they did years ago. I also find people a lot easier to deal with. I used to get mad at people who just seem to exist to make your day as bad as theirs. Nowadays, I wonder if they're just having a bad day (we all have them) or if they're like this all the time (which must be very sad for them).

Best of all, I'm still alive. Over the years, I've lost quite a few friends. When I was in the military, I watched several of my buddies die in the golden years of their youth. That's a real tragedy. A parking ticket isn't. I always knew the difference intellectually, but now I really understand it.

That's the point, really to this rambling post. Getting older can't be stopped anymore than you can stop winter from coming. And while getting being old may not seem as great as being young, it sure as hell beats the alternative.

Everybody here will die eventually (except maybe CJ because we'll keep him alive frankenstein style to keep upgrading AGS) so there's no sense in worrying about it. The important thing is to make the best of everyday you have and not beat yourself up so much for not going on to rule the world by the time you're 25.

Just my two cents.

- Ponch

[Afflict]

This is a very interesting read, its just very long and now I am thinking when am I going t get specs
for staring at the pc screen to long

I feel like I havent accomplished much as a 20 year old! And I can tell you I have done more in my life
than alot of 25 year old people and in some cases even older. I have dealt with death and I have
learned to deal with it. It made me realise that I should persue what I am passionate about and not
waste my time on things that I will never really be any good at! The point I am making is that most
people moan about alot of things then they go and try and do everything. Saying " I am still young I
can do this and that, oh yes and try this" They always blame everything else and everyone else too!

Lets take myself I could of become a coder when I left school and back then I could code a lil, well better
than anyone else in my school. My point being that I HATED it. Sure that job pays more than mine but
being stuck behind a desk never seeing any people and drinking coffee creeps me out! I love people and
working with people, I like helping them and teaching them. And a desk job just wont cut it.

They awaken on the tender age of 30 and realise that they have nothing! Why cause they were
messing around too much! I do mean proffesionally, they go and do fifty different jobs rather than
what they are pasionate about. So in the end after wasting all there time they are frustrated lazy
and bad tempered and dont even have the heart to persue their passion anymore! So stop kidding
yourself do what you love to do!

I learned something else too, when something sounds to good to be true the salesman must be new

Guys life is way too fragile to waste your time on things you dont enjoy! My weekends are tied up with
friends and we have fun! I spend my days at work and my only goal for the day is getting a smile from
everyone I meet.

Dont waste your lifes with should've could've would've and if. The reason you didnt do certain things is
simply because you knew better! Its like Morphues said.. " Know what happened, happened and couldnt
of happened in any other way" Neo " How do you know" Morphues "Cause were still alive"

Ps : If you decided to do it, DO IT 100% there is no 99.9%

[TheYak]

Perhaps I'm just overly pessimistic but it seems to me that a good number of posts come from the perspective of those that are actually motivated by things like the "Determination" and "Teamwork" posters.  Aphorisms aren't always accurate.

[SSH]

Everyone gets more and more intereseting as they get older. Those who survive have learned from their mistakes and become better. My daughters are constantly getting more interesting as they grow up. And myself, my life experience is more, there are more stories, more ideas, more thoughts. And more bad jokes.

Now Andail has to deal with people, some of whom have lost that ability to grow more interesting and remember what happened to them yesterday, etc. Some will still be full of great old stories of when they were younger that they can remember, but others will not and that is truly sad. I have great admiration for people who take care of those in this condition, and those that you cannot communicate with in any way.

And as for being too old to accomplish things: there are plenty of actors and actresses who didnt start until they were much older, there are many who start a new careeer later in life. There are millions of ways which things can still be meaningful in your life, especially if your introspection is happening when you're under 30, for goodness sake! And even if you're 50, many political careers started then and the world-changing potential there is huge!

So what that I'm too old to become a great athlete, although Linford Christie's successes started at 32. So what that I'm not as rich as Bill Gates was when he was 30. I'm happy and I know that I've contributed at least 2 great things to the world: my daughters.

[Babar]

Arrrghh....this is depressing. Stop berating yourselves on not accomplishing anything in your lives! I hate to sound selfish, but your life is YOURS. Your every decision shouldn't rest on "how can I help humanity". Sure, it's a beautiful thing to help out your fellow human, but no one is going to hate you for looking out for yourself first. As long as you don't do anything to harm others, you should be OK. So you wanna be a coder instead of a heart surgeon? GO FOR IT! You can save as many lives by making people happy with your games/programs as with fixing up their hearts. Your life is not useless because you became an accountant instead of a charity worker. You feel guilty? Ok...donate a few bucks to charity if you want.

About aging, I always thought that a person really becomes "old" when they lose the will to adapt. Anything that changes will influence them negatively: They get depressed if you take away their 50 year old stuff that they haven't used in ages. Their newspaper changes. They have to move. They don't get rice for a certain meal.
And these may very well be those people who were constantly moving about in their youth, meals uncertain, destination uncertain (as they will tell you when discussing "the good ol' days").

I actually greatly enjoy the company of some of my older relatives/parent's friends. They have more time to talk, and are happy to tell you lots about their youth and "how it all was back then". They are the last link to "The old age" with all its (for me) forgotten emphasis on language, customs, behaviour, etc.

[Pumaman]

I am definitely scared at how quickly time seems to be flying by now. When I was a teenager I always wanted to be older and have more independance. But as soon as you hit your 20's and start to see your friends going bald and developing terminal illnesses, as well as realising that you can no longer fall out of a tree and escape unscathed, that "growing older" feeling certainly starts to emerge.

I'd also though agree with the posts pointing out the advantages of the experience that comes with age. Everything that you do, every day of your life, gradually shapes you as a person... almost always for the better. As the saying goes, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. More life experience gives you more to talk about and generally makes you a stronger character.

I guess the conclusion from all this is to enjoy being however old you are now ... because you'll never be this age again!

[Darth Mandarb]

Man ... I love getting older!  Seriously.  I'm just enjoying the ride.

Sure there are changes I must make.  I can't run as fast as I used to, I can't have pizza and beer every night of the week, etc.  But then there are the benefits of aging.  Getting into a serious relationship, thinking about starting a family, focusing on a career, being taken more seriously as an adult ... the list goes on and on.

I like wondering what I'm gonna be like in 10 years.  Will I have a family?  Will Sara and I get married or will she leave me in the dust?  Will I make my first million?  It's like a big mystery movie that just keeps unfolding day by day and I'm the lead role!

I look back on my past with nothing but fond memories.  Even of the bad times ... because they were few and far between and it is, to my way of thinking, the bad times that really help shape the person you are today.  If it weren't for the bad times, you wouldn't cherish the good times!

Like Barbarian said, the past is like chapters in a book.  Sometimes I sit back and "re-read" those chapters (especially a few of the more popular ones! )  I have some "I wish I had done that" type thoughts, but none that I would consider true regrets.  Everything that has happened up to this point in my life has made me who I am, and I would never regret that.

I try to live by the whole, "don't take anything for granted" way of thinking.

Everyday I think of how lucky I am to have a nice home.  A beautiful woman that loves me.  Family and friends, etc.  A job that I love.  Sure there's some bad things in there ... but they are FAR out-weighed by the good stuff.

I have this theory about aging ... about why the years seem to get shorter the older you get (tied into Dave Gilbert's statement about that concert).  I've mentioned this 'round these parts before (and I think Timosity has a similar thought if I remember correctly):

When you're a 10 year old kid, 1 year is only a tenth of your life thus it feels much longer.  When you're 30 years old, 1 year is only a thirtieth of your life.  It's a far smaller portion of your life at this point, thus it feels much less significant.

This, as a man pushing thirty, actually REALLY comes in handy if I'm waiting for a movie coming out next year

[Pelican]

I don't know if I can really offer any useful insights, as I'm going through a rather reflective period at the moment. However, up until now, my main focus is to enjoy life as much as possible. I am aware of the brevity of life, but this does not make me depressed, it simply prompts me to jump at chances I might otherwise miss by procrastinating. I aim to have no regrets. As Darth Mandarb says, I accept even the parts of my life that weren't so good, because they shaped who I am today. I try to see something positive in everything, and I usually spend most of my day laughing my ass off, and thats no bad thing! It doesn't bother me that I haven't done anything to change the world, because I know that my life has had effects that I can't even begin to dream of. I'm happy if I can even make the slightest difference to someone else's life, but I'll be just as happy if I can make a difference in my own. I may be only 22, but I feel I've lived my life to the fullest, and I'll continue to do so.

[2ma2]

First, I cannot believe how you manage to work where you do, And. I have been in such a situation, and it filled me with nothing but a vast empty hole where my soul was. It grew back eventually, but never to it's full extent. I can see how money is crucial and this is what you sacrifice for it, and I admire your willpower and endurance, and don't know what to say about the numbness.

Secondly, the most discussion has been of doing something of your own life, and make something valuable out of it. Family has been mentioned, but mostly as something making your life accelarate even more. But for one worry more about getting a family or not. My professional streak is in a phase of false security. I know that working professionally with art is something you're lucky to be at 30. Up to that, it's struggle struggle struggle, and then work until you literally die. Hey, I've got a decade to make it! My worries lie in the fact that I'll never have kids. Never have an innocent life whose childhood you can fudge up into oblivion, thus causing a vast set of neuroses and psychiatrist bills for. Nor have someone to share my life with. Now, I'm not a total failure when it comes to women, it's not getting them, it's keeping them that's the problem. I have a serious compulsive disorder, and even though I live a living hell, I prefer to the hell of curing them. My girlfriends does not agree. I've had debates around the approrpiateness of even raising kids in my state, and this worries me even more. It is not a race against your life in the same sense, but for me, living a full life and living it to the fullest is also getting a family. And I really don't care if I'm a professional artist when I die, as long as my loved ones are around me.