Plot for my new game.

Started by .., Mon 29/03/2004 20:19:03

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..

Well I'm making my first propor game.

Its like broken sword style.. only better ;)

BACKSTORY:

In Ancient Egypt... (Agghhh.. no not an egypt game.. i hear you cry, don't worry, only the ending actually takes place in egypt) the egyptians believed each pharoah was chosen by the gods thus inheriting part of their power, presumed myth this turns out to be true. One pharoah , the fictional Amon Sphinx, tried to use his power to enslave his people and expand and create a new egyptian empire. The gods were angered at this, and as they were forbidden by the chief god, they could not kill him. Instead they sent down four Wizards, Earth, Wind, Flood and Fire, to use their magic to imprison Sphinx in.. the Sphinx.
Seconds before the ritual was about to take place, a spear was thrown at earth, he fell to his death.
The ritual was not success without all 4 wizards, they could only imprison him for a certain amount of time. the wizards time was nearly up on earth, they ecompassed their powers in 3 artifacts, and scattered them around the globe, hoping one day, Earths true heir would use these artifacts to seal the deal, and imprison sphinx for life.

PLOT
Gary Taikner is a trainee lawyer. His father is dying and the opening credits see Garry have a conversation with him, after trying to explain to gary his heritage (Gary is Earths Heir) his dad dies, telling him to go to a certain place.
Gary goes there, finding old papers, to do with the myth, he thinks nothing of it and returns home.
He gets home to find his house blown up and his wife dead, Sphinx had escaped and tried to kill him (although he doesn't know it yet), fired from his Job after being angrey and with nothing to lose he visits his only living relative to see if she can shed light on the affair, she tells him to visit a wizzened old man who explains to gary his destiny.
Gary must discover these 3 keys, taking him around the globe on a quest of epic proportions, with a few twists along the way. His final confrentation in egypt with sphinx reveals an extra twist, before He succeeds, or fails, his task.

Its sounds lame but i think i can make this work, any critisisms are welcome and if you like this story and would like to help with the game, please do!

Andail

#1
Hello thebroonsfan!

Basically, your plot sounds fascinating, and carried out properly I'm sure a game-project based on it will be highly playable.

However, it does sound a bit pretentious as a first (?) project. I don't know your level of experience, but implementing all those features you speak of (like taking him around the globe on a quest of epic proportions"), sounds like an immense project.

I think that as a thumbrule, any game that has a general gameplay that doesn't meet up to the pretences of its plot will fall so much harder than a game with much simplier plot, and a generally primitive gameplay.

I'd love to see you succeed in that project, don't get me wrong! Just a word of warning.

jetxl

#2
I like it, but you want some feedback.
The name Amon Sphinx is inspirationless. You can use http://www.20000-names.com/male_egyptian_names.htm to find a better one.
(great now http://www.islandnet.com/~edonon/Egyptian.htm is down)

Second. You don't have to kill his wife. You could kill off his father since he was dying anyway.

Now for the wierd part. There is a pharaoh that enslaves his people. Instead of killing him, they send 4 wizards to lock him up???
Pharaohs are not inmortal, they have come and gone, but he is still alive??? Find a better reazon. Like they don't want his rotten soul in the afterlife. Or he sucked the lifeforce out off the dead wizard, giving him Elemental powers.

Last. Traveling the world to find 3 keys (And I think they're all burried in tomps) could get repeating. Make each of there location difrent (Broken Swords).


edit: I just realized that you're a newbie. In that case, make some small games first, befor you start on your dream project. It makes writing and planning alot eazier when your made a game or two.

InCreator

I like the story. It's pretty similar to ones in numerous movies, It feels like you mixed whole thing up from various things. Things like that have selled and this one will too, if you're able to make a game worth the story. A bit Indiana Jonesy plot.
...
Wife dead? House blown up? Do I smell Max Payne here?

Ali

I like the plot, it certainly sounds in the Broken Sword vein. Just three small things:

I'm not certain the wife's death is necessary as impetus for a journey - I understand loss of spouse and job are necessary to free up the character to travel all over the world, but why not just give Gary fewer ties. As it stands I think you're going to have a very long intro. Maybe make him single, and have the Sphinx sabotage his job in some imaginative way.

More importantly, don't let Gary discover his lineage too soon. Build up a little mystery.

I must say I like the name Amon Sphynx. Perhaps though, a more interesting forename for the lead? 'Taikner' is good, but 'Gary' is a little bland I feel.

Good luck with this game. If you pull of this plot with good puzzles, it'll work with even the most basic graphics.

..

Thanks for all the advice...

I think i will not kill off his wife. My new plan will be to have Gary lose his job after a very reluctant boss fires him, it late turns out the boss had been threatened.

I was always planning to build up mystery, i think Ill have the wizened man tell Gary he must find the heir, Gary doenst know that its him.

I will keep the Name Amon Sphynx (Amon is an egyptian name, its on that page i was advised to look on :P) And may change the first name to Andrew/Drew which means Brave.

I've never played Max Payne, I thought that the whole wife and house blown up sounded a bit like star wars IV (only his aunt and uncle die)

About the whole Pharoah thing, The lord of all gods disallows the other gods to do two things, kill or effect free will, as the gods cannot directly influence earth, they sent down the wizards instead, Amons spirit was imprisoned in the shphinx, his body useless, he then breaks out as our story unfolds as the wizards magic wore out, and gaiend a new body (Voldemort anyone?)

My location ideas were Wind is Nepal & Everest / Fire is Sahara (or other desert) and Rain is India (monsoon season :P)

I aint really a newbie, i've owned Ags for a few years noe and been messing around with the features, waiting for a good game idea, I'm inspired alot by Adventure Architect.

Thanks for the feedback and everything :P Any more ideas? do you think i should make this game with basic graphics, and if the game is popular re design it with propor graphics?

SSH

As a fellow Egyptian-inspired game designer, I would say the following things:

1. Do lots of research on Egyptian mythology. Google will find you loads. It makes any inventing you do yourself sound more authentic if it is based on research. Also, watch the Mummy and Stargate movies and see if there are ideas there that you think work or don't work: don't copy them but be inspired.

2.  It might be an idea to make your Pharoah based on the real one Khafre, as many people think his face is the same as that of the Sphinx... which would tie in with him being trapped in it

3. "Wizards" doesn't sound egyptian to me... "Warlock" might be better or "Priest" or "Avatars" or "Manifestations" ...

4. Rain has to be Britain... ;D

5. Fire might be better as some volcano, such as Etna in Scicily

6. Ancient Egyptian  names tend to have meanings, such as "Beloved of Amun", so look at examples of real ancient names.
12

Sluggo

Quote from: SSH on Tue 30/03/2004 19:11:50
3. "Wizards" doesn't sound egyptian to me...

Yeah, make them priest of Isis and Osiris.

Hollister Man

Perhaps find out the egyption for "demigod," which is clasically a halfbreed like Hercules.

I agree though, the vagueness of "lord of gods" kinda sucks butt. (no offence)  Even if you use them improperly, or contrary to classical mythology, so what.  Like that Sinbad cartoon.  All the names were stolen, and even some of the mythos, but they weren't in their original context.  I can't remember but Ra should be the all-lord, and perhaps that's all that's necessary.  Find out the gods of the nile for flood, wind and fire are tough, but earth should be the underworld.
That's like looking through a microscope at a bacterial culture and seeing a THOUSAND DANCING HAMSTERS!

Your whole planet is gonna blow up!  Your whole DAMN planet...

Jordan

This is Me, who started this thread, im just having problems logging in.

I changed it so *Insert First Name Here* is very young when his dad dies..........

I made a bg round for that cutscene

Its Here:
http://www.2dadventure.com/ags/finito_copy.jpg

I know its really bad so advice and critisism is needed!

Jordan

This is a new bground for my game... Its Rackwrath shack were Taikner has to visit

http://www.2dadventure.com/ags/finitpic.jpg

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