Ideal age/Now mostly about Religion and Religious Upbringing

Started by Helm, Mon 16/04/2007 21:47:35

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Babar

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 20/04/2007 08:23:05
1.25 gallons of her favorite ice cream, 4 liters of her favorite soda,..., a box of chocolates,...

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO HER?!

I usually hang out with (not only girls) people slightly younger than me. Maybe it's something else though, because often enough I can find them to be immature, excessive and tiresome. But then again, I find people even slightly older than me to be boring. The only older girl I've been with (23 when I was 19-20) acted pretty young for her age, and was only a year ahead of me. Most of the girls I've been with were from what was already the group of "my friends".

There was this girl who used to be seated next to me on the bus who was 14 (when I was 18), and amazingly enough, she had a crush on me. The age thing wasn't as much of a problem as the fact that she was 4 classes below me. Being as socially inept as I am, I had no idea how to handle the situation. Soon enough, it didn't matter, because I left the country.
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Chicky

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 20/04/2007 08:23:05
I spent over $100 on their 14 year old daughter. It was gifted to her anonymously. Therefore they had right to be concerned. Especially considering there is a 40-something member at our church who is also interested in her....:-X

2 dozen roses, a big purple heart-shaped balloon that played the song "Wild Thing", a teddy bear, 1.25 gallons of her favorite ice cream, 4 liters of her favorite soda, a vase for the roses, a box of chocolates, a card....yeah I think that's it. Other than the poem I wrote her.

Dude you said you were getting her some flowers but...

Seems a little ott, especially seeing as it was anonymous!

Tuomas

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 20/04/2007 07:57:08
if I want to pursue this mission
Quotewhen I return from my mission.
Quotego out when I return from my mission
QuoteShe told me that when I return from my mission
Quoteshe has agreed to go out with me when I return from my mission.

I'm sorry to go off topic, but are you planning on attacking the Death Star or something here?

vict0r


Blackthorne

I would probably loathe someone nine years younger than I.  In fact, I know some twenty year old girls that I downright want to soak in rubbing alcohol.

But, I suppose it's a little less creepy for a 29 year old to date a 20 year old.  When I was twenty-five, however, I'd never think of dating a 16 year old.  They're just kids at that age.

When I was 24, I hooked up with this really good looking girl.  She was so good looking, I got suspect - and yep - she was under 18.  And I felt dirty.  Until she turned 18 the next month.  Then I felt only slightly dirty.  But I gave up my young womanizing ways a few years ago.

I'm not making any sense.  Anyway, I think teens are off limits if you're an adult.  (In your twenties.)  But that's just me.  If it REALLY works for someone else, god bless ya. 


Bt
-----------------------------------
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Chicky

#85
Quote from: Chicky on Fri 20/04/2007 14:44:56
Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 20/04/2007 08:23:05
I spent over $100 on their 14 year old daughter. It was gifted to her anonymously. Therefore they had right to be concerned. Especially considering there is a 40-something member at our church who is also interested in her....:-X

2 dozen roses, a big purple heart-shaped balloon that played the song "Wild Thing", a teddy bear, 1.25 gallons of her favorite ice cream, 4 liters of her favorite soda, a vase for the roses, a box of chocolates, a card....yeah I think that's it. Other than the poem I wrote her.



Dude you said you were getting her some flowers but...

Seems a little ott, especially seeing as it was anonymous!



I would just like to say that after reading your previous post it has now become apparent that she knew who the flowers, ice cream etc were from.

That makes it less crazy.

I want a mission :(

thewalrus

     I don't really see any problem with Matt dating who he wants. If it is legal in the UK to date anyone 16 and up then it is a matter of a personal decession. You can get screwed in any relationship no matter what the age difference is and I suppose it can work out just the same.  Good luck, Matt and I hope that you and your girl are happy!!!

Thewalrus

Goo, goo, ga, joob!!!

"Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come!"

Andail

Quote
2 dozen roses, a big purple heart-shaped balloon that played the song "Wild Thing", a teddy bear, 1.25 gallons of her favorite ice cream, 4 liters of her favorite soda, a vase for the roses, a box of chocolates, a card....yeah I think that's it.

That's great, she can use it for a party with her 14-year-old friends.

Here are a few pointers:

* Don't give $100 worth of presents to someone unless you're either her rich uncle or her boyfriend (no it doesn't count that she has said she might go out with you after you've done x days of missioning).
* Until you have some sort of anniversary or other cause for celebration, just give symbolic gifts. Use your imagination and come up with something personal, a funny card that you drew yourself or a nice little plant or something. Good gifts are not per definition expensive.
* If you're gonna give something worth $100, don't go to the grocery store and buy consumables, buy something classy like a small piece of jewelry that will last.
* Don't mess with minors. I don't know if she's allowed to have sex (in Sweden and most countries she wouldn't), and you'd really be up the creek if she even hinted to someone that you've approached her indecently.


Meowster

Quite frankly, I find the fact you fancy a 14 year old girl pretty worrying. That you're in love with a 14 year old girl, is worrying.

You're basically in love with a child.

Tuomas

#89
Quote from: Andail on Fri 20/04/2007 17:25:40
Quote
2 dozen roses, a big purple heart-shaped balloon that played the song "Wild Thing", a teddy bear, 1.25 gallons of her favorite ice cream, 4 liters of her favorite soda, a vase for the roses, a box of chocolates, a card....yeah I think that's it.
* Don't give $100 worth of presents to someone unless you're either her rich uncle or her boyfriend (no it doesn't count that she has said she might go out with you after you've done x days of missioning).

You know what can happen? And this is a true story. My friend had a 1-year anniversary with his girlfriend. So he bought him something expensive. I think it was a necklace. Day before the anniversary she broke up with him... I'm not going to tell you about my relationship with the girlfriend ¬¬

Anyway, buying expensive stuff is really not worth it, unless it's very secure. I tend to save my money as much as possible, so if I ever could think of something that is cheaper, I'd get it. It's not the money you spend in it, it's the thought. You're not buying her off her parents, are you?


EDIT: Funny thing though, I just asked one of my friends, girl(14yrs) about this. "So what, my boyfriend is 20!" She answered. That came as a surprise.

So I asked if she knew about the satuatory rape law. She didn't, so I explained. "We've decided to wait for the 1+ years" She said.

Then she said she'd never go out with someone who was 4 years old when she's 14. But then, oh well. Damn kids these days!

Helm

QuoteThe fact that her parents wouldn't let us date right now even if we wanted to makes it easier on my part, and though right now she just likes me as a friend, she did agree to go out with me when I return from my mission.

Creepy as hell.

Is there a contract written in blood?

Monkey, relationships are much easier when you want a person and the person wants you. Without level grinds and parents and whatnot. Find someone your age.


Creepy.
WINTERKILL

Pumaman

Quote from: Pesty on Fri 20/04/2007 02:27:26
I see what you're getting at here.

You had me at "hello", CJ. You had me at "hello".

Oh Pesty, I'll never forget that evening we shared in McDonalds; when I gazed into your twinkling blue eyes, offered you one of the chips from my Big Mac with a dollup of ketchup, and you accepted... it was the happiest moment of my life.

Why do we torture ourselves by continuing this life apart? Come to London, I'll treat you to a glass of Tesco Value Red Wine-Style Drink and a slap-up meal at KFC. I know that you're only 13 and that I'm 46, but age isn't important to me; all that matters is our love.

Helm

I forgot something I wanted to say. You people talk lots about maturity and I see that point, but what about physical maturity and comfort with the sexual aspect? It surely takes a bit of time for girls to get comfortable with it, especially seeing how they're archetypically invaded and all. I don't think most 16-year old girls are always ready for that sort of thing. I first had sex at about that age and I somewhat regret it, and I'm a guy. I was strongly pressured by my peer group, though of course it all evened out after all, but there's better ways to enter the realm of sexuality than that.

Given all this, I'd feel very bad and awkward to be trying to ensnare a 16-year old into penising her at my age. People who are 25 perhaps should be looking for equally responsible sexual partners, but then again I see the 'first relationship, afraid of the girls' experience' point. It gets pretty strange-feeling when the girl I'm with has a more thorough history of perversion than me (quite difficult, but has happened) and therefore has had sexual experiences I haven't so I can't even begin to get in the mindset of how strange it might feel to be courting a girl that's done all that while you're a virgin at 25.

A lot about the confidence to flirt comes from knowing what you're doing. So in a way I can see how it's easier to court a teenager, as they're very superficial and just 'looking grown-up' makes you awesome to them.
WINTERKILL

LimpingFish

#93
I think we're all being a little harsh.

If Monkey was twenty and she was sixteen I wouldn't really see that big of a problem. Although, I can see the possibility of concern.

If Monkey had kept this to himself and announced he loved her next year, when those ages would be accurate, nobody would've thought that much about it.

Oh sure, they would've said "Dude, be careful" and went on about her being at a vunerable age, etc, without thinking that, at 20, the possibility that Monkey might still be a virgin and be just as "vunerable" as she is.

But Monkey didn't.

And now he is forever labelled as a paedo.

Oh well, Monkey. Live and learn.

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Meowster

#94
Yes but,

If Spaff had dated me when I was 12 and he was 18, it would have been the same age difference... but very wrong.

16 is a bit ¬¬.... 14 is definitely very ¬¬ indeed

Being in love with a 14 year old when you're 20, is very VERY ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

20 is my age, considering things like mortgages soon and my career NOW.  14 is younger than my little sister who doesn't even have proper breasts yet

LimpingFish

#95
But that's what I mean.

Nineteen and fourteen/fifteen is dicey indeed. I don't think anyone would disagree.

Twenty and sixteen is a little more palatable, though still likely to raise eyebrows. Twenty one and seventeen would be less likely to.

Twenty two and eighteen is fine. And anything after that too. Four years is just about acceptable if the girl is sixteen or over, I would guess. I suppose a number of factors would have to be taken into account. And we end up back at the maturity debate.

Not that I ever had anything even close to that. I date vastly older women as a rule. It's a win/win situation.

¬¬

LimpingFish cries into his rum and coke.
Steam: LimpingFish
PSN: LFishRoller
XB: TheActualLimpingFish
Spotify: LimpingFish

monkey0506

I suppose that maybe you're right. Maybe I am just insane for falling for a girl that swears she only likes me as a friend. And I'm almost certainly insane for thinking it would be okay seeing as she agreed to go out with me....in a couple of years.

But the one thing we're all agreed on is that I am absolutely, completely and utterly insane for posting about it on the internet.

I'm not wanting to pursue a sexual relationship with this girl. I believe in practicing sexual abstinence. That's right...I'm a virgin. And I'm proud of it. Even if things never do "work out" with this girl...I'll still be happy to have been her friend. And it won't change the way I feel about her. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. Is it really so wrong of me to want to spend the rest of my life with her? What I want most though is for her to be happy. If she never falls for me, then so be it.

I'm not going to deny my feelings just to appease your Creep-o-meters. But you all need to understand that I don't want a relationship with this girl right now. I want to, when she is older, pursue a relationship with her, yes. And if the relationship never advances beyond the level of "good friends" then I'm cool with that. And now that I've stated that three different times....

The reason I spent $100 on her for Valentine's Day is because it was literally all the money I had. I wanted to do something special for her. She didn't (doesn't) have a boyfriend, and so I knew that nobody was going to be giving her anything. I wanted to make her understand how much she means to me. And it wasn't about the amount of money I spent. It was about showing her how much I really care.

So why the hell did I buy ice cream and soda?

Well firstly the are, indeed, consumable items. Her parents couldn't really force me to take them back. There is then also the fact that she said, "diamonds are ugly." And her parents probably would have made me take that tiny, tiny hundred dollar diamond back. And, as I stated, they were both of her favorite variety.

So now I'm sure you all think that I was just trying to win her over by giving her all this crap. Think what you want, it wasn't about that. I'm really serious about this girl. I care about her more than anything else in the world. She means more to me than anything else in the world. And so, on Valentine's Day, I wanted to show her that the best way I knew how.

So go ahead, call me creepy, call me paedo, call me whatever the hell you want. The internet can't be taken seriously anyway.

voh

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 20/04/2007 21:53:08
So why the hell did I buy ice cream and soda?

I agree with you that consumables != bad gifts. My ex gave me 4 packs of kretek cigarettes for valentine's day and a big chocolate heart. I gave her.. flowers. Corny as fuck, but the dinner I made for her (I don't cook often) made up for it. It's the thought that counts in the end.

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 20/04/2007 21:53:08
So go ahead, call me creepy, call me paedo, call me whatever the hell you want. The internet can't be taken seriously anyway.

For me, it's not so much being in love with a 14-yo at your age (I've had feelings for a 16-yo this year, and I'm 25, but as I said before I decided to break off contact with her, regardless of how much we enjoyed being just friends, because it just felt... sick), but more the way you speak about her.

Please do realize that in a year time, she'll have had another year of life.

Don't get your hopes up. And to be honest, I do think it'd be best for her to find someone her own age.

Because, dude. 14-16 yo's need to have their first experiences with relationships and all it entails with people from their own age groups.
Still here.

Tuomas

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 20/04/2007 21:53:08
I suppose that maybe you're right. Maybe I am just insane for falling for a girl that swears she only likes me as a friend. And I'm almost certainly insane for thinking it would be okay seeing as she agreed to go out with me....in a couple of years.

But the one thing we're all agreed on is that I am absolutely, completely and utterly insane for posting about it on the internet.

Yes you are. That's what it does. Love... :') I haven't had anyone to fancy in a long time.
* Tuomas smiles inside

QuoteShe's the most amazing person I've ever met. Is it really so wrong of me to want to spend the rest of my life with her? What I want most though is for her to be happy.

:)

hrmh. You, boy, are a sweet talker. Now you made me feel all soft inside. Oh dear... sheesh...
I so hear you. Now that you posted this here, made everyone critisize you, shows how sure you are, at least from my point of view. I know when I'm serious about these things. It's when I'm ready to open up to stranges, sober.

Aww crap. I really miss the feeling of fancying someone like you do.  :( Oh thanks now you made me all emotional and I'm going to feel ashamed after posting this.

ManicMatt

People conclude much about me and her, when I have not given any real information out about it.

Guess what? I'm still not going to. Not because you are right, most of you are way off, (Except say CJ for example), but because I will not have my life disected by you lot! You could argue that most of you already have done so, but with such speculation and accusations it was like reading about someone else.


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