Ideal age/Now mostly about Religion and Religious Upbringing

[vict0r]

You'll enjoy pain.

And sex. Just don't mix

.. too much.

[biothlebop]

I blame pop culture http://www.hollywoodgrind.com/?p=5355

I blame Serge Kreutz.
http://www.sexualfront.com/

[Andail]

Helm, you might have misunderstood one of Monkey's quotes there. The girl was 13 when they 'lived together for 3 and 1/2 months'. You probably read it 'I lived with her for 3 1/2 years' or something.

Also, Yufster and Helm get 2 minutes in the penalty box for strong language. Give the cuss-words a break in the future, will ya'.

Mods, they all look fairly young to me, especially the last one.

[HillBilly]

Helm, I am enjoying the bitter truth you lay down so mercilessly in this thread.

I lived with this girl for 3 1/2 months last year.

Holy shit! You creepy creepy paedophile. Since she was 9 and a half?! I am telling you, if I were this girls' father, christian or no christian I'd beat you half-dead. How... how the hell? What why are you living together? Are you related? Is she a cousin or something? I'll let you off the hook if she's a cousin since that sort of moral tabboo has no effect on me, but god-damn, it's starting to pile up. You're in a messy spot.

I'm not sure but perhaps he meant three and a half months and not three years and, uh, half a month.

EDIT: All right Andail said it.

[Helm]

In that case living with someone for 3 months when they're 13 doesn't mean much.

I also enjoy the political correctness of calling me on saying 'fuckin' when I also talk about dark lords and sacrificing of virgins, but eh, it's a forum, it needs moderating.

[m0ds]

Hehehe Well, Helm, I think you may be over-stepping the boundaries but only very slightly! The first girl was the "ideal" (as this thread may have you beleive) choice at 20 years old, your choice is 18 years old, the next 16 and the last 14. They do look very young all of them, but I think that's a challenge men face these days. Though I agree after a bit of conversation you can generally get a good picture of someones mental stability/maturity. With guys also Thanks for taking part! I leave this thread alone now :p

[Babar]

Yay! I chose wisely! Now what's the prize?

[Tuomas]

The first girl was the "ideal" (as this thread may have you beleive) choice at 20 years old, your choice is 18 years old, the next 16 and the last 14.

So all of them are ok as far as I'm conserned.

[Mr Flibble]

I would've thought A or D was the youngest actually. I would've chosen C (and not because of the bewbies, just because her face was the least ugly).

And if C is the same age of me... excellent, I'm well adjusted! : D

[Tuomas]

yay, you can drown yourself in premature boobies!

[monkey0506]

She was 12 when we met (February 2005; she turned 13 that year) but I didn't ever really like her as "more than a friend" until February this year (2007). I think I may have said something about this.

The reason I mentioned that we lived together at one point is because I was attempting to make a point that perhaps I do know a bit more about this girl than you've given me credit. I'm going to leave that open. Tear me apart.

I don't see it as hurting myself to abstain from sexual relations (up to and including with my hands....). There's no real benefit to having premarital sex. Except perhaps you'll know what to expect...:o...but it's never been something that I felt was....for me. Try as you might, I doubt I'll be hopping aboard the Penisland Express with you anytime soon Helm.

Yes...I've never had a girlfriend before. I'm very desperate....

The reason I stated the bit about agreeing to go with me 'AT LEAST ONCE' is that everyone seemed to think that I was pressuring her into this relationship that she obviously didn't want. Here's how it went:

monkey: "When I get back from my [two year] mission [on the Death Star], will you go out with me?"

girl: "Yeah."

There wasn't any pressuring. I asked, and she agreed. Yeah...quote just that sentence. "I asked, and she agreed." Use that to fulfill your anti-monkey fantasies. Don't worry...I don't mind.

We haven't known each other for four years. And I doubt that just because she hasn't asked me to "penis her" means that I terrify her. On multiple occasions she has gone out of her way to talk to me. Because we're friends. And believe it or not, friends do that.

Your usage of the name Paul is particularly disturbing. Quite frightening in fact. Your obsession with incest is at least comparably creepy to my apparent paedophilia (my desire to have relations in the future with an adult that is currently a minor).

Of course I haven't mentioned it, but it is clear that your powers of telepathy have revealed the fact that both her father and her her brother are named Paul (Sr. and Jr. respectively).

There's also this idea floating around that I've definitively decided that she is 'the one'. Just because I care about her doesn't mean I've decided she's 'the one'. This opens up a good opportunity for me to discuss some things that don't really matter. See, it just makes it look like a desperate attempt at clinging to some sanity.

All night tonight at work I was doing my best to chat up one of my coworkers. We actually managed to hold an interesting, yet rather broken discussion. I don't really know why, in fact I questioned why I was so desperately (oooh there's that word again) trying to get her to open up to me.

Mmmmm...I'm giving you all some very juicy material to work with. I don't even care any more. I don't know why I have to justify myself to you people. But I'm still giving it a hell of a shot even as tired as I am.

Eat me alive.

[EDIT:]

Corrected 2004 to 2005.

[Vince Twelve]

There's no real benefit to having premarital sex.

Have fun waving goodnight to your sexually incompatible wife as you climb into your separate bed while your urges spiral out of control driving you to masturbation, fantasies of other women, prostitutes, and finally a messy divorce!

I'm glad I realized my incompatibilities with my previous serious and long-term girlfriend (which led to the afore-mentioned masturbation, fantasies of other women, and messy break up... no prostitutes, I swear!) before our relationship moved into an even more serious stage of commitment.  The issues between us were never emotional or intellectual.  If she and I had decided to remain abstinent until marriage for some reason, I would almost certainly be perfectly miserable by now and I would certainly have never found my wife, with whom I'm both emotionally and sexually compatible.  Oh, and RRRAAAAWWWRRRRR!

[vict0r]

Your usage of the name Paul is particularly disturbing.

Of course I haven't mentioned it, but it is clear that your powers of telepathy have revealed the fact that both her father and her her brother are named Paul (Sr. and Jr. respectively).

Hahahahahahahaha


Oh, and I love (the irony of) your avatar monkey! monkey_05_06: Coming summer 2009

[Andail]

There's absolutely no idea in losing your virginity too early, but that time should be based on your own sense of security and confidence. Don't let anyone else, parents, society or God decide when you're ready.

I have a fair amount of experience when it comes to the opposite sex, but I still remained a virgin for very long (at least in the fullest definition of the term) and never felt any pressure to lose that title. In return, sex has always been rather undramatic for me, and I can't even recall exactly which day might have seen my debute (all this doesn't mean I don't take it seriously; I'm deadly faithful).
In order to perform well, you need to relax a bit and see it more like playing than making promises to God. If you set all your hopes to the wedding night, chances are you'll be disappointed. Especially women often need to "learn" to enjoy sex, and men need to learn how to make women enjoy (and as a reward for this practice, God gave women the ability to enjoy sex much more than men can ever hope to, once they learn the routine).

Speaking of which, does God allow people to satisfy themselves and eachother as long as there is no penetration involved? The subtler aspects of satisfaction are just a matter of training; if you're good you can make your partner come without even taking your clothes off.

[Meowster]

Wasted or "spilled" seed is a sin, so, no. God doesn't allowed men to masturbate to the point of orgasm.

Which is extremely unhealthy. And also, doesn't make sense, because of course all that semen dies anyway doesn't it? And gets replaced/renewed every couple of weeks/months. So not only is your semen being completely wasted, you're not even getting a bit of a kick out of it. In fact, regular masturbation is beneficial to your health, gets your heart pumping etc... and I'm quite sure it helps keep sperm production good and healthy.

People need to review what it is exactly that they think God wants of them, because it's getting fucking stupid.

[Helm]

Tear me apart.

Your last post doesn't leave you open to hilarity. It just becomes a good point to discuss religious abstinence and such, as people have after it you see. I won't play the part of the goatlord anymore, it's getting old. Just straight-up advice now if you want it.

I don't see it as hurting myself to abstain from sexual relations (up to and including with my hands....).

Having done that, yes you're hurting yourself. You're upsetting your biology to a great extent, not to mention the psychological damage you're doing to yourself by not engaging in a practise that nature/God/the aliens gave us to blow off some steam. That's right. Monkeys play with their dicks to relax. Orgasms are relaxing. They take the edge of so many things in a given day that can slowly and subtly but acutely surely drive you mad. I've been close to that, I know what I'm talking about.

This is important. I have experience with abstinence, and no-masturbation abstinence too. It's a hilarious story the last one, ask me to tell it to you and I will. It explains how stupid your brain gets when totally depraved of the good things in life.

There's no real benefit to having premarital sex. Except perhaps you'll know what to expect...:o

You're leaving out the obvious benefit that it's very nice with the right partner, that it relaxes and gives you strength to face various day-to-day adversities. That there's generally nothing nicer after a full and tiring day to be able to slip into a warm bed with a person that loves you and enjoy their attentions. Pleasant orgasms and an easy death indeed.

...but it's never been something that I felt was....for me.

You're probably repressed.

Try as you might, I doubt I'll be hopping aboard the Penisland Express with you anytime soon Helm.

Whatever, man. I am not trying to make your decisions for you, I'm just trying to help.

Yes...I've never had a girlfriend before. I'm very desperate....

Poooost. A piiictuuure. Of yourseeeeeelf.

The reason I stated the bit about agreeing to go with me 'AT LEAST ONCE' is that everyone seemed to think that I was pressuring her into this relationship that she obviously didn't want. Here's how it went:

But you're neglecting all the backstory to this. Obviously there's been some obsessive behaviour if you're telling me 'she's the one' and 'you want to spend the rest of your life together with her' and you spend 100 bucks on her icecream.

Your usage of the name Paul is particularly disturbing. Quite frightening in fact. Your obsession with incest is at least comparably creepy to my apparent paedophilia (my desire to have relations in the future with an adult that is currently a minor). Of course I haven't mentioned it, but it is clear that your powers of telepathy have revealed the fact that both her father and her her brother are named Paul (Sr. and Jr. respectively).

Wait a moment, how am I to blame for making a random name up that ended up being the name of her father? I don't condone father/daughter relationships because I believe they're obviously based on the taking advantage of a minor by an adult and as such are no different - but even worse because they abuse the safety of a parental relationship - than other cases of paedophilia. But brothers, cousins, whatevers can do whatever they want, and often do.

The taboo of incest is based on the fact of flawed birth because of same blood mixed. However two people don't have to have babies because they have sex. It falls under 'adults enjoying themselves responsibly' for me and therefore is more a mild kink (like sodomy, for example) than it is a strong and mentally degrading perversion as is to have your way with children.

There's also this idea floating around that I've definitively decided that she is 'the one'. Just because I care about her doesn't mean I've decided she's 'the one'.

I am sorry monkey. You're backpedalling now. You clearly said you want to spend the rest of your life with her and love her more than life itself. If that's not being the 'one' then what is? Though I think it's good you're backpedalling, perhaps you're starting to see how impossible your dramatic demands of her and the 'future relationship' with her are.

I really think the way of life you've chosen, what with religious abstinence is one you'll regret later. Do you want to discuss your religious beliefs from the bottom up, perhaps? I'm up for it. I promise I'll keep the 'black lodge' stuff to a minimum. There's a possibility God doesn't want you to keep your penis dry, though. Can you understand how big a mistake it would be to not give this a lot of thought and then find our you've wasted your early life because some idiots passed on to you their sexual-issues-cum-religion?

Eat me alive.

Nice freudian slip. I won't be doing anything of the type, go ask a girl. Your age. Maybe someone will agree to it. Post a picture.

[SSH]

The taboo of incest is based on the fact of flawed birth because of same blood mixed.

There's also the "minor" issue of abuse of trust, which is probably far more damaging than a single generation of limited gene pool reproduction.

[Andail]

The taboo of incest is based on the fact of flawed birth because of same blood mixed.

There's also the "minor" issue of abuse of trust, which is probably far more damaging than a single generation of limited gene pool reproduction.

I don't condone father/daughter relationships because I believe they're obviously based on the taking advantage of a minor by an adult and as such are no different - but even worse because they abuse the safety of a parental relationship

Also, him posting pictures is not gonna prove anything. Ugly people date and mate just as handsome people do, considering there are as many ugly as handsome members of both sexes.

Then again, if all pictures would depict someone sickly inhibited and anti-social, with an apparent psychopathic look and a weird moustache, then we could start making conclusions.

But he doesn't; I've seen plenty of pictures now and looks like a cheerful, outgoing type,

[Tuomas]

You know. as much as this has turned into a dialogue between the two of you with random comments from people, already expecting the new posts, I think we're all getting something out of it. For example I haven't had as much fun reading a thread in a long time, even though I do understand it's a serious subject.

Only the facts that Helm came up with a soccer team and mr. Paul are just top material, and as someone said at #AGS, someone should really make a book out of this treasury.

Now it's not only that. Following what you write here made me have a weird dream last night, and it fits the subject prefectly.

So I was back at work at the school I'm at, high school it is, so kids from 13 to 16 etc. But this time I wasn't teaching, but I was a rental worker doing gardening chores, and for some reason eating sausages. Anyway, there were everyone I know from the past, and I talked to a lot of them. Now some squirrels had made a winter storage from one of the vans they used as class rooms (notice it is a dream), and we were appointed to clear it. this is where it gets weird

So we were cleaning it while there was a class held. And this would in real life be my favourite class in an odd way though. Once the girls there heard that I was only 19 (now 20) they started showing awkward interest in the amount of cigarettes I smoke (none) how much I drink (a lot) and if I have a girlfriend or if I have a lot of sex (well obviously I didn't comment this). Anyway, at christmas last year the lot of them dug up my phone number from somewhere and started calling me and sending sms, basically just merry christmas and happy new year later on. Some of them also somehow discovered my msn.

Anyway, they noticed me there cleaning the peanuts from the floors, the nuts were up to ancles. After the class one of them came to me while we were finishing the job. She was mad in a not serious way and told me that I should have told them I was coming to work again and not just appear like that. And I looked at my partner and smiled at her and said "why, you wanted to dress up for me?". For some reason I said that in English. She understood and said yes. Then she Hugged me and gave me 2 kisses O_O.

I panicked and quickly looked around hoping no-one had seen. But I noticed there was some boy with his father with him right behind us. They said nothing but the man looked at me. The girl left then. I was really scared at that point.

And it get's more scary. Later I was teaching maths to them. (yeah, I teach everything but PE and woodshop). After the class I told her to stay behind. but I did that in a strict way so no-one would suspect, why would they anyway. So she staid. I asked her if she wanted to ruin my life forever. That I might get just fired, but only if I was lucky. She said she never wanted that to happen, and I put my hand on her cheek and kissed on her lips for some time. Then I told her something like "Tell no-one about this, please. It's best for you too."

I started thinking of ways of getting away with it. I thought if she confirmed, I could tell that it was her who kissed me, which was true, and that I told her not to after the class. But then I realised I had kissed her then, and if she told them that... her parents and the principle were all there. I was really screwed up in my head.

I feel creepy. She told them it was her. They decided I could continue teaching as it had just been 'a friendly kiss meant as a joke' because they liked me as a teacher. so I staid there. We agreed never to talk about it in public. But, my God, we started going out in places where no-one could see us. I even shaved my beard to look younger! And she would ask her friends to back her up, saying she staid at theirs when she was with me. we even ended up in bed. But here comes the part that I'm very proud of. We never had sex. She was too scared, and I was to reasonable. So what we did was, spend the night together, kissed a few times and then she fell asleep her head on my chest.

Man did I feel weird when I woke up I blame this thread. For making me fantasize of just turned 15-year-olds.

[Helm]

Also, him posting pictures is not gonna prove anything. Ugly people date and mate just as handsome people do, considering there are as many ugly as handsome members of both sexes.

Yeah I was thinking perhaps he'd look not just moderately ugly but positively horrifying or something.

Also what's with getting all excited with the recent posts? Not to be a killjoy - and not that I can't take a compliment - but they're just posts on the internet from a person to another, if this is 'book-worthy material' for you then you must read some shit books.

In my dream I saw I cheated on my girlfriend with a very beautiful prostitute whom I paid something like 1000 EUROS. My brother woke me up just before I had sex with her. Hm I guess I didn't cheat then, just intended to. I attribute this more to that I haven't seen my gf in the last week than this thread, though. As the prostitute was of age.

I am never telling my girlfriend this, of course.