Anyone here known with laws and people in care?

[Peder 🚀]

My girlfriend is currently under care and her parents are her guardians.

(She suffer from depression, anxiety and has bad nerves and such).
Anyway, I am now gonna move back to Norway (moved over to the UK July in 2007 and have tried to sort our lives out since then, though without any special edjucation and such I can only manage to get minimum wage jobs. And its just not working!) and I have been offered an office for free through my business partner (I started my own company in the beginning of 2008) so I will be going full time with my company. And she offcourse wants to come with me!

But her parents (for some reason) dont want her to go, and telling her she can never go because she aint well enough, that she cant get the medication over in Norway (She can! ive talked to some people I know that work in hospitals and know these things and she could get the medication. besides its not like this is a "sickness" only people in the UK have.) and that if she gets in her state what will she do? (I can help her, my family can, and there is people over there that could help her anyway!). And they are just coming up with alot of excuses and also saying that if she did go they would all ignore her (her parents AND her brother and sisters..) and that she cant speak Norwegian (so? english is a part of edjucation in school in Norway that EVERYONE has to do! and besides I will be there to translate! and she will probably learn it anyway in the end!)

I am moving to Norway because I know I not gonna be able to make a life over here, but I know I got a chance to in Norway, and I dont want to give that up because her parents are telling her she cant do this and cant do that.
I CAN and WILL give her a good life over in Norway, but over here I cant! And why would I want to stay over here working many hours a day and not even get enough paid to live? When I can go to Norway (where I got many people supporting me) run my company 100% and make something out of me while doing something I love?

So to my question, can her parents really stop her?
I mean, they cant expect us to stay unmarried the rest of our lives or her living with them the rest of her life...
Its just so annoying that when you have the chance to get a good life, someone is there trying to stop it all!

I find it really sad, because family is supposed to support eachother and make eachother happy! Not stop speaking to eachother and making eachother worse!

They are supposed to make her feel good and happy, but all they are doing is making her worse.

Thanks.

[Mr Flibble]

Ordinarily they couldn't stop her, but if she has been released into their care specifically then they probably have an unfair amount of power over her. You could contest it legally if they do.

I don't know about law really, but I can sympathise with you entirely. A friend of mine has a similar condition, she's also been forced to sign papers saying her parents have control over her, the hospital has complete access to all of her records, and that she can be institutionalised  at any time. As a friend, it leaves you feeling impotent and useless. I feel for you during this difficult time, and sincerely wish you good luck.

[SSH]

An important piece of information that you don't mention is her age or location. In England and Wales the age of majority and marriage without parental consent is 18. In Scotland the age for both is 16.

[Stupot]

I'm not sure about the nature of your girlfriend's illness and I am FAR from an expert, but let me answer anyway... It sounds like her parents are way overprotective, and that can't be good for her health... I would personally suggest that the independence of moving away from her parents and going to Norway with you could do her the world of good.

Sometimes a clean break is all it takes to set someone on the path to recovery.  It might not a a complete cure, but in some cases I think it really can help.

But remember, that's just my opinion and is not based on any facts or research.  Maybe she could consult the idea with a specialist...

[Peder 🚀]

An important piece of information that you don't mention is her age or location. In England and Wales the age of majority and marriage without parental consent is 18. In Scotland the age for both is 16.

Age: 23!!!!
Location: Wales.

[Dudeman Thingface]

I found good website in terms of legislation:

http://www.statutelaw.gov.uk/Home.aspx

And all I could find was stuff about "Carer premiums" and a whole bunch of regulations which do nothing more than serve to make it really specific about what it says.

Of course, I am by no means an attorney. I highly suggest you first get a doctor to tell you about how bad exactly her condition is (and if he knows, any relevant reasoning why her parents could (not would) prevent her from making the choice to come with you) (if you don't know already), then, with those specifics in hand, I then suggest you go to your attorney (or get one) and ask them for any relevant legislation that might allow the parents to overrule her own free choice.

Of course, this is all entirely dependant on the amount of time you have.

[RickJ]

Well I  can certainly understand why her parents think it's a bad idea for their daughter to move to another country in he midst of a nervous breakdown.  Can't you see why it might be a good idea to stay with her family, in a secure and familiar environment to recuperate? 

I once had a girlfriend whose sister had a nervous breakdown.  Here sister lived far away and the girlfriend was trying to decide if she should go to her sister.   As luck would have it my landlord was also a psychiatrist and the rent was due.  So I took her with me to his office at the end of the day to drop off the rent check.  While their I explained to him the girlfriends situation ans asked if he could give her some reassurance.

He said that these kinds of things usually happen when someone is  unable to resolve some kind of personal issue or problem.  That person's brain won't rest until a solution is found.  But if the person is unable to find a solution it's not long before they begin to loose sleep.   Deprive anybody of sleep for a couple of weeks and they will end up in this condition.

What issue or problem has recently come into her life that she is not able to satisfactorily deal with that may have brought this on? 

Why would you not want her to recover before taking a decision to move to another country?

==============

If it were me I would talk to the girl's father.  I would tell him that I cared for his daughter and wanted to see her regain her health.  I would ask him to understand my position and that I was prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for her.  I would tell him that I understand his position and that I agree the best way for his daughter to regain her health is for her to remain with her family.   

I would explain that the reason that I am returning to Norway is to earn a living and hopefully/eventually his respect for becoming a responsible and financially stable adult.  I would ask if there is anything I could do to help his daughter recover and offer to delay my travel plans.    If the decision to travel is taken then I would ask him to keep me informed of her progress or lack thereof and to let you know if there is anything you can do to help.   I would end the conversation by telling him that if his daughter and I are meant to be together then our feelings would endure this ordeal. 

I would then say my goodbyes to the girl and go off and start my business.  Trust me if you are to succeed you will not have time to do anything else.  Best of luck.

[Peder 🚀]

Well, she has had depression for YEARS (so she is not really in the midst of a nervous breakdown), and during the 4 years we been together she has become ALOT better!
But her parents have ALLWAYS told her she cant do things, and havent even let her try!

I mean, she is supposed to be living with them, but since I came over here to live shes been living with me.
And she been able to do things on her OWN, like go shopping, cook food and so on.

Both her parents DONT work, and they also got a son that is special needs (worse case than my sister, cause he has trouble having normal conversations and such.)

I can complete understand them to be worried!
But to say that her whole family will ignore her if she goes, and saying she is wrecking christmas for them and upsetting everyone is not really making her case better!

Ive allready told him things like that, but they dont seem to care.
And I find it sad that their all blackmailing her and making her feel even worse.
And to me it seems like its something else behind all this and I dont like saying it, but money COULD be one of them.

Its just so annoying that they act like this, they have actually told me I am not welcome to their house no more (gotta get my stuff tomorrow hopefully, this also means I havent got a place after this monday, I will be staying at my girlfriends sister place till then) and they are just blaming her and me for loads of things and I just dont think thats right..

If they really wanted her to be happy they would at least let her go to try and live in Norway.
I mean there is allways a plane back, and its not like we would never come over to visit (Id be able to do that alot more with my company as all I need is the internet and I can work on current jobs I got anyway).

And we have said all this but they are just ignoring making things worse, upsetting her even more.

I know for a fact she will be REALLY bad if I end up going on my own, and its just not fair of them.
Specially trying to make her feel bad saying she is turning her back on them etc...

They also keep coming up with excuses why she CANT go like she need a VISA to move to Norway (no she doesnt... I diddent even need a VISA to move over here). and all the other things ive mentioned ++++.