I have a collection in my head of the stupid things that people have said and that I have witnessed them saying but couldn't just laugh out loud for fear of offending them.
These are things I actually heard from people that I thought were comedy gold. Please don't re-post accounts from others that you have heard tell of. Only first-hand experiences or we will just end up recording fake stories from the internet here, which is not the intent of this thread.
The intent of this thread is to record such never-before-heard comedy gold here, anonymously, for others to potentially use in their games, stories, stand-up comedy routines, or whatever without giving away identities or otherwise offending anyone.
Here are some of mine:
CASE #1:
ME: I found a bar that has a sign advertising an all-you-can-drink wine course at 10 cents for 1 minute.
FRIEND: Sounds too rushed for my liking.
CASE #2:
(While driving through a busy street decked on both sides with Jacaranda trees in full bloom)
FRIEND #1: Wow, the Jacarandas really are beautiful this time of year.
FRIEND #2: I don't really know that much about makes of cars.
CASE #3:
ME: Silence Of The Lambs is a perfectly plotted movie.
FRIEND: No, I found a flaw. It was never explained how Hannibal managed to make such a perfect mask of the guard's face for his escape.
I had another one but I forgot it for now. I will post it when I remember it.
But for now... Let's see some more molten comedy gold flowing through this thread of stupid things you have heard people say:
