Corrupt-A-wish!

Anshinin · Wed 11/02/2015 17:27:16

This is a game that is played pretty often in lots of places, so I thought I would bring it here for you guys.

The rules are quite simple. Some one would wish for something, and the next poster would then post something that would ruin the wish.

EX:
Poster 1: I wish for a horse
Poster 2: Granted, but it is dead. I wish for telepathic powers.

And it continues thusly. It's a lot of fun.

So with that given,
I wish I had the fastest car in the world!

Gribbler · Wed 11/02/2015 18:07:50

You crashed and died in flames. I wish Bloodborne would come out tomorrow!

Chicky · Wed 11/02/2015 18:36:13

Granted, released exclusively via digital distribution on Xbox Live.

I wish I had the power of flight!

Ibispi · Wed 11/02/2015 18:42:23

Granted, but you flew too close to the Sun, your wings burned down.
I wish I could read other humans' minds.

Cuiki · Wed 11/02/2015 19:00:00

Granted, but nobody really thinks about you.
I wish I was in a cool band.

JenniBee · Wed 11/02/2015 19:11:46

Granted. You are now bound up in a rubber band which is below room temperature.

I wish I had a hoverboard.

Gribbler · Wed 11/02/2015 19:26:06

Granted. But Marty McFly stole it from you.

I wish I could time travel.

Haggis · Wed 11/02/2015 19:32:07

Granted. But you can only time travel forwards one second at a time.

I wish I was a transformer.

Gribbler · Wed 11/02/2015 19:51:21

Granted. But Megatron desintegrated you.

I wish I was a famous footballer.

selmiak · Wed 11/02/2015 19:59:21

Granted, but you always get a red card in the first 5 minutes of the game.

I wish I had a batcave.

Eric · Wed 11/02/2015 20:38:26

Granted. You also find yourself knee-deep in guano and afflicted with rabies.
I wish for a renewable energy resource with no environmental side effects.

CaptainD · Wed 11/02/2015 21:51:14

Granted! But you now spend your entire life on an exercise bike rigged with a dynamo.
I wish I had tremendous brainpower...

janleht · Wed 11/02/2015 23:34:33

Granted. You are now super-depressed.
I wish I could draw decent pixel art...

Retro Wolf · Thu 12/02/2015 09:09:43

Granted! But you can only use different shades of pink!

I wish I had the time and motivation to make proper full games!

Stupot · Thu 12/02/2015 09:18:06

Granted. But they will never win any awards.

I wish to put an end to child starvation.

Gurok · Thu 12/02/2015 09:31:05

Granted! A sweeping plague kills every child on the planet and leaves everyone sterile.

I wish I had a cute celebrity cat.

Haggis · Thu 12/02/2015 09:43:29

Granted, but you quickly grow jealous of the cat's celebrity lifestyle and descend into a void of alcohol and drug fuelled hatred, until one day you finally snap and slip a copius cocktail of lethal prescription medication into the cat's dinner, resulting in you being dragged mercilessly through a high publicity murder trial and ending up in the electric chair wondering where it all went wrong.

I wish my N64 still worked.

Lasca · Thu 12/02/2015 09:58:33

Granted, but every controller stick on earth is botched and you can never turn left.

I wish for an end of neofascism in Europe.

Eric · Thu 12/02/2015 19:39:28

Granted, but it's replaced by neo-neofascism.
I wish for the next season of Twin Peaks to be amazing.

Cassiebsg · Thu 12/02/2015 19:58:53

Granted, but it only lasts 1 episode.
I wish for world peace!

Wyz · Thu 12/02/2015 22:28:50

Granted, but promptly aliens evade and the world joins an intergalactic war.
I wish I had a key that opens all doors.

Haggis · Thu 12/02/2015 22:39:06

Granted, but it comes locked in an impenetrable box for which you do not have the key.

I wish jam filled donuts were a healthy food option.

Stupot · Thu 12/02/2015 23:33:46

Granted, but you can only use toe jam.

I wish for perfection in all aspects of the universe for all of time.

Snarky · Thu 12/02/2015 23:42:29

Granted. The universe winks out of existence, and there is perfect nothingness.

I wish I had a burrito.

Gurok · Thu 12/02/2015 23:57:06

Granted. One lamb's fry burrito that's been sitting in the sun for two weeks. Aged to perfection.

I wish I could shift these stubborn kilos.

HanaIndiana · Fri 13/02/2015 02:18:36

Granted. The "extra" kilos shift to your head where you become SO top heavy you can't walk.

I wish I was strong enough to lift 100 lb. weights.

Gribbler · Fri 13/02/2015 08:37:16

Granted. You were so strong you lifted your kid and he flew up to the sky.

I wish we'd avoid scurvy if we all ate an orange.

Slasher · Fri 13/02/2015 09:04:37

QuoteI wish we'd avoid scurvy if we all ate an orange.

But you would look tango'd....

I wish my legs would walk automatically by just thinking...

Stupot · Fri 13/02/2015 09:41:16

Granted, but for every step you take a fairy will lose a wing.

I wish heroin wasn't so damn moreish.

HanaIndiana · Fri 13/02/2015 17:37:10

Granted. It's no longer considered a schedule 1 drug in the states. Coca-Cola starts producing it in max quantities, pushing out all competition, and grabs a patent. Intense worldwide mass marketing ensues including highly annoying commercials, billboards, and a mascot named 'Herry', that drives every person of sound mind crazy. They dilute it to the point where its no more stronger than a nice cup of green tea, only less tasty.

I wish I could visit the Shire and meet a hobbit.

Snarky · Fri 13/02/2015 17:42:50

Granted, but he beats you in a riddle contest and makes off with your precious.

I wish I could get to the ski slope in half an hour.

Lasca · Fri 13/02/2015 18:59:16

Granted, but global warming means there's never any snow. Besides, the lift NEVER works.

I wish I didn't need sleep.

Anshinin · Fri 13/02/2015 19:03:33

Granted, you will never sleep but the sanity of a neverending reality causes you to go insane.

I wish time travel was real.

Stupot · Mon 16/02/2015 14:05:39

Granted, but you can only travel as far back as this post and are caught in an endless loop and will never see the rest if this thread.

I wish I could be a zombie extra in an episode of The Walking Dead (I actually really do, so if you know anyone...)

Mandle · Mon 16/02/2015 14:12:48

Granted...but a stagehand forgot to switch out the fake rubber tire-iron for the real one before shooting your death scene...

I wish I had a better computer (and no....I don't want HAL)

CaptainD · Mon 16/02/2015 14:52:19

Granted... but you have absolutely no idea how to use it.

I wish my body resembled that of Adonis rather than Obelix...

Snarky · Mon 16/02/2015 17:49:00

Granted, but when the Roman legions attack, beauty is no substitute for having fallen into the cauldron of magic potion as a small boy.

I wish I would be fully rested from a ten-minute nap.

AprilSkies · Mon 16/02/2015 18:09:01

Granted... but you switched off the mobile and during that nap a company tried to call you... You were chosen by lot. If you answered you would have won 1 billion dollars. but you didn't, so they raffled another one (your neighbor to be exact).
I wish I was Snarky's neighbor.

Lasca · Mon 16/02/2015 20:20:26

Granted, but the rent is a billion dollars a month.

I wish I could fly.

selmiak · Mon 16/02/2015 20:25:36

granted, but it only happens while you are sleeping.

I wish I was a little bit taller...

Wyz · Mon 16/02/2015 20:39:09

Granted, you are a tenth of a nanometre taller.

I wish I had a SD card containing a copy of every book ever written in PDF format.

Snarky · Mon 16/02/2015 20:45:35

Granted, but they're all under DRM and you can't open them.

I wish to bring back all the species that have been driven to extinction by humanity.

Snarky · Tue 17/02/2015 00:13:22

Quote from: HanaIndyana on Mon 16/02/2015 20:50:17
Granted. They know what we did, and now they are out for revenge.

I wish I could come up with an un-corruptible wish.

Quote from: Mandle on Mon 16/02/2015 23:21:32
Granted. You make an un-corruptible wish. You have killed off a popular thread in the AGS forums and the community is pissed!

GAME OVER

Quote from: selmiak on Tue 17/02/2015 00:03:00

I wish I could currupt HanaIndyana's wish!

Granted! But I go crazy with mod power and delete all the posts!

I wish life had the ability to go back and edit.

Creamy · Tue 17/02/2015 00:29:59

Granted, but life is a b**ch and all the changes she decides to make are for the worst.

I wish I had 1.000.000 wishes.

Stupot · Tue 17/02/2015 01:33:55

Granted, but the wish Gods use the English numbering format using commas, so you still only get one wish.

I wish I had a Doner kebab right now.

AprilSkies · Tue 17/02/2015 08:32:09

Granted, but it's poisoned.
I wish I had a not poisoned Doner kebab right now.

Wyz · Tue 17/02/2015 18:16:51

Granted, but it tastes horribly.
I wish I had a tasty, not poisoned Doner kebab right now.

Haggis · Tue 17/02/2015 18:55:30

Granted, but it is made from human flesh.

I wish

Spoiler

Santa Claus was real and visited every day.

[close]

Eric · Tue 17/02/2015 20:05:34

Granted, but....

I wish for the person who replies to this has a great day.

Stupot · Thu 19/02/2015 01:38:40

Granted, today has already been good for me, and I trust it will continue. Thanks, Eric. Unfortunately, you are likely to befall some minor inconvenience or two before the day is out, but you'll live.

I wish more people were nice like Eric.

Eric · Thu 19/02/2015 19:26:38

Granted. You made this wish on a day when I literally tried to catch a closing door for someone coming through and accidentally wound up giving someone else a bruised nose when I pushed it open. Now more people will be nice with horrific, unintended consequences.

I wish we had British chocolate in America.

Snarky · Thu 19/02/2015 19:49:15

Granted. (Since English chocolate is already pretty bad, consider the wish pre-corrupted.)

I wish I could program by simply telling the computer what I want it to do, and it just works.

Cassiebsg · Thu 19/02/2015 20:09:56

Granted! Unfortunately you lost your voice.

I wish for the next person to wish a wish.

Haggis · Thu 19/02/2015 20:34:45

Granted, but it doesn't come true.

I wish all my wishes were corrupted.

Stupot · Fri 20/02/2015 00:18:27

Granted, and you end up getting hired as the resident genie for FIFA.

~~I wish everyone would leave #gamergate in 2014.~~

No? Okay:
I wish someone would start this thread going again.

Mandle · Thu 26/02/2015 01:47:27

Granted: But the thread is locked by mods 3 seconds later.

I wish for the next poster to corrupt their own wish.

AprilSkies · Thu 26/02/2015 10:02:28

Granted: my wish was Mandle becoming rich and famous.. a pity it was corrupted

I wish I had no wishes

Mandle · Thu 26/02/2015 12:33:21

Granted: Now the next time the first star of the evening appears it implodes into a black hole instantly before you notice it to prevent your wish. Thus the second visible star becomes the first so it also implodes into a black hole before you notice it and are able to attempt a wish. A chain reaction starts: Every visible star imploding in order of visibility, and at the same time black holes increasing massively in number. The entire visible universe is soon swallowed as if down a huge galaxy-wide drain...You have just destroyed the entire universe...

I wish the word "giggle" did not exist. "Giggling" is still possible but simply has no name except for the normal one of "laughing". So basically yeah, verbally there is no distinction between "laughing" and "giggling". Both are just called "laughing".

Eric · Thu 26/02/2015 19:29:19

Granted. Now we have lost one of the all-time great bits of television dialogue. Thanks a lot.

I wish I had remembered to pack my lunch this morning.

Stupot · Thu 26/02/2015 22:05:10

Granted, but it gives you the runs.

I wish I could have one more hour in bed and still be on time for work.

Mandle · Thu 26/02/2015 23:12:15

Granted: But it's a bed of nails.

I wish for the next poster to make my wish for me

Haggis · Thu 26/02/2015 23:15:58

Granted but... shock horror... the wish is corrupted.

On Mandle's behalf, I wish everyone finishes their games bug free.

Mandle · Thu 26/02/2015 23:21:31

Granted: But now your amazing "Bug's Life" tribute game has had all its sprites deleted forever.

I wish there was another word apart from Aardvark that started with a double A

selmiak · Fri 27/02/2015 00:32:05

aagranted aabut aanow aaall aawords aaastart aawith aaaaaa aaand aait aais aaabsolutely aanothing aaspecial aaaanymore.

I wish there was an end to eternity. And also pi should finally be reasonable and be a rational number.

Stupot · Fri 27/02/2015 01:34:02

Granted, bu

I wish pies were eternal.

selmiak · Fri 27/02/2015 03:31:14

granted, but you are not hungry anymore. at all.

I wish there was a darker color than black.

Adeel · Fri 27/02/2015 15:25:52

Quote from: selmiak on Fri 27/02/2015 03:31:14
I wish there was a darker color than black.

Granted, but you are unable to see it.

I wish I could actually make some games.

Mandle · Sat 28/02/2015 21:31:26

Granted: You make Day Of The Tentacle, Gabriel Knight, and Grim Fandango so pixel-perfect that there is absolutely no way to tell the difference between your versions and the originals. People just assume they are playing the originals.

I wish I was God

Eric · Sun 01/03/2015 22:19:03

Granted. You are enormously nonplussed to find that you don't actually exist.

I wish for someone to shovel my driveway.

Mandle · Sun 01/03/2015 22:55:46

Granted: Somebody shovels up your driveway and takes it away on the back of a truck.

I wish for Kim Jong Un's hair to suddenly turn blonde.

Kasander · Tue 03/03/2015 02:59:06

Granted. Oh my, just look at that golden-haired god 'o war! Now everyone wants to inspect his arsenal so bad! It turns out that Kim Jong Un turns every head of a foreign state on, which in turn totally disrupts the world order and makes North Korea No.1 superpower. The guilt that you feel afterwards turns your hair grey and then makes it fall out. Only a day after, atomic bombs fall all over the world and you can experience the results of nuclear fallout. Your heart starts to burn. You hope it's radiation but it's love. You forget everything, there's only this cute brunette that lives in your vault. Then you tell her about your feelings and the world is destroyed once again: she can only fall for blondes. But she hopes that you 'can still be friends, right'?

I wish I had tons of free time, sold some of it, made millions and was happier than people in the ads.

Mandle · Fri 20/03/2015 16:54:13

Granted: You are happier than the people in the ads and thus they get replaced by you. You now exist only on paper between the pages on magazines and only see the light of day on the rare occasion that somebody actual reads a paper-media product anymore...

I wish I was a small boy in an American mid-west country town and had the ability to wish for anything and that all the townsfolk feared me because I could turn them into Jack-In-The-Boxes or whatever on a whim...

Dualnames · Fri 20/03/2015 23:15:15

Granted: You spent your entire life trying to come up with something to wish, and die without ever doing so.

I wish there was a Deadpool movie by now.

Mandle · Sat 21/03/2015 01:59:03

Granted: But...

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises!

Cassiebsg · Sat 21/03/2015 12:56:07

Granted: Were you go, a fresh 2 year old turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard.... enjoy...

I wish I could wish the next wish...

Haggis · Sat 21/03/2015 13:28:00

Granted, but you do actually wish the next wish.

I wish LEGO did not exist.

Cassiebsg · Sat 21/03/2015 18:13:50

Granted, but now you are stuck with a bunch of bricks that fall apart when you try to assemble them.

I wish my kid would go to bed.

Stupot · Mon 23/03/2015 01:46:49

Granted, but there is a crocodile in the bed.

I wish I could afford to fly home and watch TV with my mum once in a while.

Cassiebsg · Mon 23/03/2015 15:08:19

Granted, but her TV broke down and she decided to fly down to you...

I wish I had more time to play all the cool AGS game...

ManicMatt · Sun 29/03/2015 17:08:29

Granted, but now you don't have time to play any non-AGS games.

I wish Heinz would make pizzas again.

Mandle · Mon 30/03/2015 02:07:38

Wait what?! Heinz made pizzas???

Anyways:

Granted: But to get them to agree you have to sign a contract to appear in their TV commercials for all eternity. Now this is your own personal Hell:

CLICK HERE

I wish for the new Star Wars movies to not suck!!!

Stupot · Mon 30/03/2015 09:34:56

Granted, but instead they will totally blow.

I wish I would stop getting nose bleeds.

ManicMatt · Mon 30/03/2015 19:30:42

Yep! They also did a normal cheese and tomato pizza, plus the beans one with sausages I think, but I'm vegetarian so I don't remember that one so well. And also Heinz mini bagel bite pizzas. YUMMY!! I miss them so much!

Arghhh beans on my face in endless sitcom adverts!!

I guess I'd better do Stupot's wish now.

Granted, but the blood clots up from having nowhere else to go and- come on now, you REALLY don't want to wish that.

I wish everything was cordless. (Or wireless for the up to date trendy folks)

Haggis · Mon 30/03/2015 23:40:00

Granted but you soon grow tired of having to push both your testicles in for 10 seconds to re-sync the connection of your cordless phallus... and let's not broach the pain of battery replacements.

I wish my dog could talk.

MiteWiseacreLives! · Tue 31/03/2015 00:35:22

Granted, but his Scooby-doo accent is so thick you are endlessly asking what? And huh? And soon come to hate your dog very much.
I wish that wives will find it irresistably attractive when guys make adventure games.

Stupot · Tue 31/03/2015 01:43:45

Granted, but your wife leaves you and marries Ron Gilbert.

I wish I had my own Death Star.

Mandle · Tue 31/03/2015 02:20:56

Granted: But a mosquito gets in through the fly-screen and the whole thing explodes!

I wish the cherry-blossoms last until next saturday night (Ohanami party yaaaaay!).

Stupot · Tue 31/03/2015 04:52:08

Granted, but it's no fun because everyone has hay fever.
_{(O-hanamizu party!)}

I wish I didn't have to shave.

Mandle · Tue 31/03/2015 04:58:33

(LOL @ O-hanamizu party....I'm stealing that one: YOINK!)

Granted: Electrolysis is performed on every inch of your body.

I with for this wish to not come true.

actualwiazrd · Tue 31/03/2015 13:37:41

Not granted! but it was your best wish, and the paradox of this tortures your mental state, pummeling it until it resembles mashed potato ! Which wouldn't be good.

I wish for nice legs.

Gurok · Tue 31/03/2015 14:31:11

Granted, but your legs spend their days helping little old ladies cross the street and pitching in at working bees for the local church. Their hectic schedule of niceness has you run ragged. They volunteer for every charity marathon and spend their afternoons stomping grapes for little more than a thank-you. Also, the way they insist on laying down your trousers to prevent noblewomen from stepping in puddles has caused more than a few misunderstandings.

I wish I could teleport.

Mandle · Tue 31/03/2015 23:18:50

Granted: You can now teleport one billionth of a micrometer once a year on your birthday. You are the world's mightiest superhero (by comparison that is)...

I wish I had a new bicycle.

Mouth for war · Wed 01/04/2015 00:37:58

Granted but you lost your legs to a hungry shark

I wish I won the jackpot on the lottery!

Stupot · Wed 01/04/2015 02:07:44

Granted, but in a quirk of coincidence about 5 million people chose the exact same set as numbers as you, so your share of the jackpot only comes to 0.57p.
Still, you frame the ticket regardless and it's something you can tell the grandkids.

(True story: my mum's friend got 5 numbers on the Lotto and the 6th number was one digit away from what was drawn. This sounds like one of those stories that everyone knows someone who knows someone who nearly won the lottery, but it's true. Sad part is, the prize for matching 5 varies greatly from draw to draw and he only ended up getting some piddly amount. Still, better than nothing, but imagine being so close. He would definitely have given my mum a hearty chunk. Damn!)

Anyway...
I wish I didn't get headaches quite so much.

Mandle · Wed 01/04/2015 05:02:24

Hahaha...too obvious is the solution to this one, young Stupot+. I will leave this one for someone else

MiteWiseacreLives! · Wed 01/04/2015 06:30:54

Granted, you no longer suffer headaches.. but by consequence your testicles ache by twice (because I assume you have two) the intensity that your head once did.
I wish I had creativity and inspiration on demand.

Cassiebsg · Wed 08/04/2015 19:31:22

Granted but your have so much creativity and inspiration that it overwhelms you and end up suffering from severe depression and can do anything useful with it.

I wish I had more paid vacation days.

Lasca · Wed 08/04/2015 20:19:58

Granted, but as a result you get no pay on workdays.

I wish I could clean my flat just by wishing it cleaned.

Mandle · Mon 13/04/2015 14:56:11

Granted: Your flat tire will now be cleaned whenever you wish it to be...

I wish there was an english word that rhymes with "orange"...

Hobo · Mon 13/04/2015 15:17:33

Granted: But now no one can ever finish The Curse of Monkey Island, because the pirates won't stop singing. You've ruined one of the best adventure games ever made

I wish I could do kung fu fighting.

Mandle · Tue 14/04/2015 00:02:44

Granted: But this makes you fast as lightning!!! No...I mean literally! You cannot move any slower than the speed on lightning. Have a good life!

I wish the whole world was Disneyland.

Wyz · Tue 14/04/2015 00:31:12

Granted: but now there are queues everywhere. There are even lines to go to the toilet, in your own house!

I wish the weekend had an extra day.

Cuiki · Tue 14/04/2015 02:46:11

Granted. The Earth's orbit moves further away from the Sun to slip in all those extra days for you, but now you keep getting colds and can't go to work at all, even when you want to.

I wish my forum posts weren't always so silly.

Mouth for war · Mon 27/04/2015 17:45:41

Granted but now they are just stupid

I wish that junkfood was healthy for me

kconan · Mon 27/04/2015 18:55:04

Granted, but you have war-crime level farts shortly after every meal.

I wish that I was a prolific game-maker,

Stupot · Mon 27/04/2015 23:40:29

Granted, you become the most legendary game-maker in all of Panem. But unfortunately, are killed by Katniss Everdeen.

I wish I could explain my thoughts more articli... arcitul... aliculis... better.

Eric · Tue 28/04/2015 01:11:09

Granted. Your new mastery of language means the vapid inferiority of your thoughts, previously obscured by your incoherence, is now plain and clear for the world to see.

I wish for your freedom, genie!

Stupot · Tue 28/04/2015 21:16:20

Granted. Thanks, good man. Now I can die like a normal human... but... I kind of miss fucking with people. So feel free to keep wishing stuff and I'll see what I can do.

I wish people would stop calling the new X-Files episodes a "reboot". It's seriously starting to drive me insane with rage.

Gurok · Wed 29/04/2015 00:06:09

Fine. People stop calling the X-Files episodes a reboot. In fact, they stop talking about the X-Files altogether and start talking about the Full House reboot instead.

http://time.com/3837921/full-house-reboot-olsen-twins-john-stamos/

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

I wish I didn't have to vacuum.

Sweat · Thu 18/06/2015 20:11:54

Granted, but now you have to clean by sucking through a straw.
I wish I could fight bears and win!

MiteWiseacreLives! · Fri 19/06/2015 15:18:21

Granted! But due to a key punch error down at the Bureau of Wishes you singlehandedly destroy every beer in the known world, damn you.
I wish 1hr of sleep to be equal to 2 hours of sleep.

Cassiebsg · Fri 19/06/2015 17:42:49

Granted! But now you moved through live at double speed and have thus shorten your live in half.

I wish the summer arrived already!

Mandle · Mon 22/06/2015 15:41:17

Granted: A huge solar flare envelopes the Earth and causes "summer" to arrive early...But it has also wiped out the ozone layer and caused every communications network on the planet to...BBBBBZZZZZZTTTTTTTT....<Transmission Lost>

I wish all my friends didn't like Karaoke so much...