Fortnightly Writing Competition: Broken (Winners Announced)

Started by Ponch, Sun 29/01/2017 18:35:49

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Ponch



Write a story in which something is broke or broken. It could be anything, a physical item or an abstract concept, just so long as it doesn't work the way it's supposed to. I leave it to you to decide, but you've only got until February 12 to break out your typewriters or quill pens and dazzle us with your words.

Extra double special bonus: There will be trophies! :=

Baron



DBoyWheeler

I'm game for this... and for this story, I'll do one that'll REALLY get ya in the feels.

(For one thing, I not only tell of something broken, but that in the end it does get repaired.)

I think I'll call this story: Uncle Wally's Final Repair Job

--

A young boy soon approached his uncle's workshop.  His brown hair blew in the gentle breeze, as did his green and black striped shirt's sleeves.  His gray-brown jeans and blue and white sneakers moved with his legs as he made a brisk walk.

The boy soon opened the door and found his uncle.  His light gray hair--whatever is left on his head--as well as his fluffy light gray mustache moved slightly as he turned around.  The glasses through which the boy could see his uncle's light brown eyes glimmered slightly in the lamp's light.  The red-brown apron on the elderly man covered his light gray shirt and blue jeans.  The blackish boots made soft thumps as the elderly man approached his nephew.

"Uncle Wally," said the young boy.

"My dear Koleson," replied Wally.  "Is something the matter?"

"Some bullies tripped me," said Koleson, "and I lost my grip on my music box.  I... I think it might be broke."

"You had a music box?" asked Wally in surprise.

"Yes," said Koleson.  "It used to play a sweet song for me, but now it... I don't know."

Wally gently took the box from Koleson and opened it.  The song was supposed to have been "Greensleeves", but the box now sounded like some random metal parts tinging a strange rhythm.

"Ah," said Wally.  "It is badly broken, but I think it can be fixed.  It may take a while, so come back tomorrow."

"Okay, Uncle Wally," said Koleson.

The young boy went home, with hope that he might get the music box repaired.

The next day, Koleson went to see his uncle, but he wasn't there.  Instead, it was Aunt Bella, Uncle Wally's wife.  Bella was wearing a dark blue--almost black gown.  Her gray hair was in curls.  Her gray eyes were flowing with tears.

"Aunt Bella!" said Koleson.  "What's wrong?"

"Uncle Wally," said Aunt Bella, "is gone.  He passed away after he got done with tinkering with that music box."

Koleson's heart sank.  The other day he was talking with Uncle Wally, and now he's dead.

Aunt Bella then gently handed Koleson the music box.

"I'll..." Aunt Bella began, choking up a brief moment, "I'll let you know when the funeral is."

At that, the woman exited the room slowly, softly weeping.

Two days later, after the funeral and Uncle Wally being lowered into his final resting place, Koleson sat in his bedroom, holding the music box.  Slowly, he opened it.

His eyes widened in surprise when the song "Greensleeves" played... and it played even more beautifully than it did before the bullies broke it.

In a way, Uncle Wally knew his time was short, so this final repair job would not only be his final gift to Koleson, but his final gift to this world.

At least, that's what Koleson believed in his heart of hearts.


--

Mandle

Nice story!

It freaked me out slightly though: I have an Uncle Wally!

Ponch

An entry already? Gosh! And it's only the first day of the contest! :shocked:

Extrapolating from this, I think we can all safely expect 14 entries by the time we reach the deadline! :=

Danvzare

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By the way, that's my entry. (laugh)

DBoyWheeler

Quote from: Mandle on Mon 30/01/2017 03:07:33
Nice story!

It freaked me out slightly though: I have an Uncle Wally!

Man... learn something new every day.  I assure you, this is (or was) a different Uncle Wally, so yours is safe.

Ponch

Thanks, Davzare. That's two entries in two days. My theory seems to be holding up. 14 entries, here we come! :cheesy:

Mandle

For sale: broken shoes, very worn.

(This is my entry)

Ponch

Thanks, Mandle! That's three entries in three days. We're on track to smash all records! :cheesy: :cheesy: :cheesy:

Baron

Momentum... flagging.  Inspiration... fleeting.  What was the topic again?  (roll)

Stupot

I've had two goes at sitting down to write something for this, but both have had me sitting there looking at a blank page. Still, a week left to pull something out.

Ponch

Quote from: Stubaron÷ on Sun 05/02/2017 17:05:55
Still, a week left to pull something out.... What was the topic again?  (roll)
I feel like a conspiracy has been hatched against me...

Blondbraid

Great entries, Mandle's entry reminded me of the Hemingway short story and DBoywheeler's was both sad and heartwarming and Danvzare's was funny and creative in its own right. I have an idea myself, I hope I can post it in time!


Ponch

Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 07/02/2017 19:51:59
I hope I can post it in time!
So do I. After an impressive early start that was both enthusiastically heartfelt and endearingly half-assed, things seemed to have stalled here at the FWC. I'm still hopeful that we'll smash all records for total number of entries, but I'm starting to have my doubts. :P

Hazel

Oops.
The story you were looking for doesn't exist.

Mandle

Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 07/02/2017 19:51:59
Mandle's entry reminded me of the Hemingway short story

I hope so! It was a deliberate rip-off parody of exactly that... (laugh)

DBoyWheeler

Quote from: Mandle on Tue 07/02/2017 23:29:22
I hope so! It was a deliberate rip-off parody of exactly that... (laugh)

Oh no you didn't!   :=

Mandle

I do actually have a story in mind for which my previous entry could be the title, but I'm a bit worried to write it for a few reasons:

(1) It's based on a real life story about a truly horrible event, and I have no permission from the real people.
(2) It is so horrifying that I was in tears of grief for both those involved and also for my slightly lessened faith in humanity (but some faith can also be regained in a way)
(3) It might not be appropriate for this contest, which is usually light-hearted, or at least firmly in the realm of fiction.
(4) Writing it might be too emotionally draining.
(5) I don't know if my writing can do justice to the story and the people who lived it.

I'll consider all these points carefully before deciding one way or the other.

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