Game pitch competition, ending on June 3rd

Started by Andail, Sun 27/05/2018 18:36:34

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Vote for your favourite game pitch!

1
0 (0%)
2
3 (14.3%)
3
4 (19%)
4
2 (9.5%)
5
0 (0%)
6
1 (4.8%)
7
4 (19%)
8
2 (9.5%)
9
3 (14.3%)
10
2 (9.5%)

Total Members Voted: 21

Voting closed: Mon 11/06/2018 09:22:33

Creamy

All these pitches could make enjoyable games. Some require more imagination than others.

I had a good laugh imagining the outcome of #7 so I went with this one.
 

Mandle

I was really tossing a coin between #1 and #3 until I read #9 and voted for that.

Cassiebsg

I voted for 2, probably "Ponce de Leon" got my attention. (laugh)
There are those who believe that life here began out there...

Mandle

Can't wait for next round... I got a killer pitch I think!

dactylopus

I voted for 9, it reminds me of The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Creamy

#25
Quoteit reminds me of The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
In my book, it's not a very compelling reason.
 

Jojo_the_monkey

I voted for #8, as I imagined interesting how the protagonist will unveil gradually the conspiracy of Praiser Town... If I had another another vote, I will go for #1. Because it suits well in the form of a game, rather than a book or movie.
I should have listened to my mother---I should have practised.

Snarky

#27
Rather than reveal my vote, I thought it might be nice to offer a bit of feedback on each pitch. I agree with others that these were stronger overall than the last round, with lots of entries that could make games I'd like to play.

Obviously this is just one random person's opinion, and from the votes and posts in the thread it's clear that others respond differently, so don't take the criticism too hard. Also, one of the entries is mine, but I've disguised that by offering feedback on it anyway:

#1:
The premise seems to me like a really strong setup for puzzles. Also, I love the notion of "ghost roads" that are built for ghosts to travel rather than people.

On the negative side, a game where you're just dealing with ghosts one tomb at a time sounds like it could get a bit monotonous and mechanical unless it's a really short game. (Not to mention a little played out, with dozens if not hundreds of haunted house-themed adventure games.) There should be some element that breaks up the structure and lets it "come alive", so to speak.

#2:
This pitch does sound like an epic quest, and the specificity of the historical setting is appealing.

At the same time… ¡Jesús Cristo! That's dark! Starting with the slaughter of the main character's family and then moving on to the European invasion of the Americas, when the vast majority of the native population was wiped out, enslaved or subjected to gruesome atrocities... The upbeat tone of the write-up seems like a really strange fit for the story.

#3
Man, this is an excellent mystery/thriller setup. It could be a Hitchcock movie or an episode of Suspense. The detail of the letters being from after he died is a cool hook.

On the other hand, the pitch gives very little idea of what the game consists of. The write-up is over-long, but still confusing on some points (are they married or not? if he's "away on business", why is his family around?). On the third hand, perhaps making some points in the pitch deliberately confusing works as a way to get people engaged with the story?

#4
Like #3, this is another classic thriller premise. And unlike #3, there's at least some indication of what the gameplay revolves around.

Here's the thing I can't get past, though: Wouldn't it be, like, really, really easy to prove you are the real you and your evil twin the impostor? The predicament sounds more silly than sinister.

#5
This sounds like something that could be a really good game. However, it's a little vague at this point. It could be Buffy, it could be Stranger Things or IT, it could be The Faculty, it could be Goosebumps or AYAOTD or Eerie, Indiana. Or it could be a fairly generic RPG superficially dressed up in a high school skin.

I guess what would really sell me is a clearer sense of how the elements are tied together. Who are these kids when they're not hunting monsters? How do their school lives matter beyond just leveling up and recruiting team members?

#6
The notion of an infinitely replayable adventure is intriguing. However, does it work as a fun game in practice? Dead ends and red herrings, random solutions and puzzles that are just roadblocks and don't in themselves advance the story; these a common criticisms of bad adventure game design, but seem almost inevitable for this concept. I am skeptical…

#7
Fun! Biblical stories seem like they make a great basis for adventure games, and I wonder why there haven't been more of them. Getting down the tower is also a really nice, self-contained adventure game goal. The tone of the pitch suggests a sense of humor I would enjoy.

A couple of nitpicks: I think I would have preferred if the languages were actually real ones. Also, I have to question where the phrase book came from in the first place. (My suggestion: it was dropped by an angel, annoyed at having to deal with all the hassle of now having to bring messages in all kinds of languages.)

#8
I'm a sucker for Christmas stories, so you had my attention right off the bat. The premise is fun and feels season-appropriate in that it sets up some silly, all-in-good-fun antagonism, and offers a solid game structure. The one thing I don't like is the "or doom the world!" bit, which seems entirely extraneous and illogical given what you've described.

#9
Isn't this pretty much a game already? (Apparently the one I'm thinking of is called A Way Out.) Escaping from prison definitely offers a lot of scope for interesting puzzles, and the virtual reality component adds a potentially interesting dimension to that. On the other hand, I guess it's a trope for a reason, but the romantic tension sounds both half-heartedly generic and a bit skeevy to me.

#10
Great description of an interesting mechanic. Is it an adventure game, though? (Andail has edited out the rules for this round from the first post â€" why, Andail?! â€" but in the last round it said 'the pitch should fit a very loose description of "adventure game" (this genre is rather broad these days)' and I don't think this falls under even a loose definition.

Danvzare

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 09/06/2018 10:32:30
Rather than reveal my vote, I thought it might be nice to offer a bit of feedback on each pitch.
I think that was a great idea, and I loved reading the feedback on my pitch.
I'll probably do the same in the next contest.

Durq

Quote from: Snarky on Sat 09/06/2018 10:32:30

#8
I'm a sucker for Christmas stories, so you had my attention right off the bat. The premise is fun and feels season-appropriate in that it sets up some silly, all-in-good-fun antagonism, and offers a solid game structure. The one thing I don't like is the "or doom the world!" bit, which seems entirely extraneous and illogical given what you've described.

Snarky, I enjoyed reading your entire post. I also liked number 8 and almost voted for it. And I agree that the "doom the world" part was off-putting.

Stupot

It's fun trying to guess which one of Snarky's feedbacks is for his own pitch. I'm thinking number 7.

Snarky

Quote from: Stupot on Sun 10/06/2018 10:32:24
It's fun trying to guess which one of Snarky's feedbacks is for his own pitch. I'm thinking number 7.

Now that the poll has closed: (wrong)

Congrats to #7 and #3! I voted for 7 and 3 was my runner-up, so I can't complain about the results on that score...

I'm gonna guess #7 is Blondbraid (or maybe Mouth for War), #2 is Jojo, #4 is Danvzare, and #9 Gurok. But that's based purely on degree of similarity to last round's pitch, which might not be a good guidance.

CaptainD

#1 has Mandle written all over it.  Or possibly ManicMatt.

So I await with interest to see who proves me wrong. :-D
 

Creamy

#33
Let's play graphologist:

#1 Mandle
#2 Blondbraid
#3 Gurok
#4 Stupot
#5 Tgames
#6 CaptainD
#7 Baron
#8 Cassiebsg
#9 The Frighther
#10 Danvzare
 

Stupot

Yikes, Creamy. Mine was indeed number 4.

Was that a wild stab in the dark? If not I'd be interested to know what the clues were? It's not that I tried to disguise my writing style but more that I wasn't even aware that I had one.

Durq

Quote from: Creamy on Mon 11/06/2018 17:03:02

#9 The Frighther

I never realized my writing sounds like someone who speaks English as a second language.

Blondbraid

#36
My pitch was Number...

Edit by Andail: Actually, let the guessing game continue a bit longer :)


Danvzare

No one seems to have guessed my pitch yet. Here's a hint, it got less than two votes. :~(

Snarky

Then I think yours is the high school monster hunter one.

Creamy

#39
QuoteWas that a wild stab in the dark? If not I'd be interested to know what the clues were? It's not that I tried to disguise my writing style but more that I wasn't even aware that I had one.
Just a bit of luck. My other guesses don't seem to fare so well.

QuoteI never realized my writing sounds like someone who speaks English as a second language.
I see your point on closer inspection (laugh)
Don't pay too much attention - I'm not familiar with you two and English is not my first language either.
His last entry and your pitch just happen to make extensive use of question marks.

QuoteMy pitch was Number...
I assigned you #2 because it shares some similarities with Sniper and spotter and your pitch about the Scythian warrior and the exiled Greek scholar - an historical setting, an unlikely duo on an initiatory journey.
Perhaps too obvious.
 

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