The misunderstanding (part of a short story; first 1000 words)

Started by KyriakosCH, Tue 24/07/2018 10:03:39

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KyriakosCH

I would be grateful if you can read and tell me what you think of it. :) (I translated it; wrote the original in Greek, my native language)


The misunderstanding

“And sadness was happiness, and death was life, and everything was being replaced by things unlike it”, Alexandros Papadiamantis, The Murderess.

Use of the term “misunderstanding” doesn't correctly describe the situation at hand, because it is too neutral a term; it fails to imply to any satisfactory degree that the other person was wrong to accuse me of lacking respect for the dead fellow-student whose memory was being celebrated in the outdoors event. This was unquestionably just the opinion of an aggressive and ignorant man; even so, I still felt insulted. And the worst part in all this was that, precisely due to myself being respectful to the others as well as to their cause for having so gathered there, I could not keep talking to him, despite having so much to say to counter his own words.

Some of what I would have said even he would be able to grasp, regardless of his powers of perception lacking so. For instance: had I not been respectful towards the dead I would not be among those gathered in the event. I didn't have any personal relations with him, and therefore no kind of responsibility was forcing me to be there. Up to making this point It would have been possible for me to speak freely, without anything having been provided to the other party so that he could use it to characterize my behavior as contentious â€" and yet, in fairness, I didn't even mention that much, and still he kept gazing at me with a poisonous look. I think that his reason for doing so lies in the impression he fosters, that the death of his friend was simply indifferent to myself; but this impression also is false: if it was indifferent to me then I would just not attend the event they organized.

That said, I am starting to calm down again, and to get over the insulting and undue stance I was met with. I can very well understand that when so tragic an event takes place, those who knew the dead person will now be experiencing a deep sense of mourning, and that even the rest of those in attendance will be nervous and on edge; because the murderous attack tool place inside the university campus. That alone is enough so as to horrify anyone. I too felt frightened, and wished to help in any way I could â€" especially to help those who were scared the most by this! - this had been my reason for going to the event. But there are times during which having good intentions does not suffice, and, on my part, I do by now accept that my understanding of the prevailing mood at a time so close to the death of the other student had also been found partly wanting…

This was undeniably a mistake I committed, though it's not enough to justify the epithet which the rude friend of the dead person uttered against me. He said that I am behaving in an autistic manner. Meaning that, supposedly, I am clearly unable to grasp their mourning, and that was why I was so hasty in speaking â€" to be exact, though, he didn't merely allude to a hastiness on my part, but that the entirety of what I was telling him was fully out of order, and that they actually were indicative of a lack of sensitivity which can only be attributed to a full ignorance of how one is to behave in public!

I, of course, am not autistic. I am obviously aware that they feel pain, and also are fearful â€" indeed, it seems to have eluded the consciousness of some of them that they also feel the latter emotion, which is why with the slightest cause their fear manifests as a combative attitude; a good example of that is what happened to me there… I do not lack the knowledge that they feel this way. I mean to help, but perhaps they aren't accepting any help for the time being, and they are only welcoming of a gratuitous mime who would replay their own cries of sorrow, remaining faithful to his original in his depiction, and they will misunderstand the one who wished to offer a service that â€" even if shown to be indeed premature, and for the time being still not compatible with the general feeling â€" would most definitely had been more to the point. How much easier it would have been for me to not attend their event at all â€" I have no need of passing through those stairs where the flowers and the photographs of the death student lie, so as to return to my house. Nor did I ask the other person, the angry and hurt friend of his, about the studies of the deceased, out of some lack of perceiving that this particular subject was not very timely to mention then â€" I did ask him about this because it was himself, more than everyone else - on account of being a good friend of the deceased - who is in need of being helped, and I wished to make his acquaintance. But I never expected that things would take so negative a turn…

Had he been a little more receptive, had he not regarded me in an entirely negative way right from the start, I'd then have told him all I know about some students who attend the exact same courses his dead friend once did. Of course in his present state he would certainly be unable to learn more on this; even had he reacted very amiably, it would have been difficult to lead him into the crucial subject at hand in any direct manner, yet I would have then at least gained confidence by the revelation that I am met with someone who is patient and â€" most important of all, as things currently stand â€" is capable of calm thought. Yes, most people are hot-headed; they act on impulse and instinctively â€" it's not that much of a problem for them, until the need arises that they should ponder something in a calm fashion. And the thing I would have told him â€" the sole thing which may really help him and everyone else who went to that event â€" requires much calmness, attention, and insightfulness, if one is to pass through the opening stage of the dreadful revelation and then begin to understand just what took place in our university.

(the full story has one more part of this size)
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