New Parent Hacks

Started by Stupot, Fri 29/11/2019 00:10:09

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Darth Mandarb

When it's the middle of the night and sleep deprivation has driven you to the point of insanity because the darn kid just won't burp after the 10th nightly feeding, pause for a moment... take a deep breath... and realize that in the blink of an eye the kid will be five and you'll be wondering how it's even possible he's no longer that little ball of adorable goo!

Some, slightly more practical, advice;

Wear an athletic supporter/cup all the time (especially if you plan to have more kids) as your new adorable baby boy will be seemingly magnetically drawn to your tenders as if they have the gravitational pull of a black hole!

Secondary to the wedding tackle protection (and a close second it is) is the jaw/tongue. If, at any point, the child is standing under your chin area I can guarantee you he will suddenly feel compelled to stand up with the velocity and momentum of a freight train. Trust me on this (I have missing pieces of tongue to prove the point).

Humorous (but true) anecdotes aside; you have started out on the greatest adventure game there is!

My son is five and my daughter will be three next week and I can't fathom how they're that old already.

Treasure every moment.

Congrats!

cat

Oh, and you new mantra should be

"It's only temporary"

Mumble these soothing words whenever you need it.

The baby has an aching tummy and doesn't stop crying? It's only temporary!
He is getting teeth and wakes up every hour? It's only temporary!

(Sadly, this also works the other way round - he slept all night without waking up? It's only temporary, the next night won't be that easy...)

Privateer Puddin'

I think you're being too harsh on yourself calling yourself hacks.

Mandle

Quote from: Privateer Puddin' on Sat 30/11/2019 19:06:30
I think you're being too harsh on yourself calling yourself hacks.

:-D (laugh) :-D

Blondbraid

Congratulations!

A tip I got from an acquaintance having a baby was that you shouldn't bother too much with your regular sleep schedule, just sleep when the baby is sleeping.

Also, when the baby gets old enough to eat real food, my parents had a great rule, that it's ok if the kid don't want to eat the full meal, but they should always taste the food before turning it down.


Cassiebsg

Quote
Also, when the baby gets old enough to eat real food, my parents had a great rule, that it's ok if the kid don't want to eat the full meal, but they should always taste the food before turning it down.

I can attest for this one. I've done that with my son, and he's not a picky eater and eats just about anything. And he knows that he as to taste it every single time, even if he tried yesterday and he didn't like it. Remember taste is acquired and learned. Most kids need to taste a new food for about 10 times before they actually like it. Also always give him the same you're eating. Don't make him special meals just for him. You want him to grow up and be able to eat what you eat... not just "burger and french fries".
There are those who believe that life here began out there...

Mouth for war

If he accidentally sets the living room carpet on fire when he's 8, go eazy on him ;-D congratulations!!! Wish you all the best!!!
mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer

Mandle

Quote from: Mouth for war on Tue 10/12/2019 13:29:09
If he accidentally sets the living room carpet on fire when he's 8, go eazy on him ;-D congratulations!!! Wish you all the best!!!

It is almost like you have knowledge of the Future!!!

And now Back To The topic at hand...

Blondbraid

Quote from: Cassiebsg on Mon 02/12/2019 11:13:32
Quote
Also, when the baby gets old enough to eat real food, my parents had a great rule, that it's ok if the kid don't want to eat the full meal, but they should always taste the food before turning it down.

I can attest for this one. I've done that with my son, and he's not a picky eater and eats just about anything. And he knows that he as to taste it every single time, even if he tried yesterday and he didn't like it. Remember taste is acquired and learned. Most kids need to taste a new food for about 10 times before they actually like it. Also always give him the same you're eating. Don't make him special meals just for him. You want him to grow up and be able to eat what you eat... not just "burger and french fries".
That's true, though I'd add the caveat that small kids, having much more sensitive tastebuds, don't like bitter foods in general. I can name dozens of things I didn't like as a kid that I've started to eat when I got older, so if they consistently dislike something specific I think it can be ok to wait a few years and see if they'll appreciate it more as their taste change.

Anyway, I've also heard a handy tip for making babies sleep, white noise can be numbing to the brain (just look at all the people falling asleep on long car rides) and for some people, starting a vaccum cleaner in a baby's room have made them go to sleep faster. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but the noise can't be worse than a crying baby at any rate.


Laura Hunt

#29
Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 10/12/2019 23:28:39
Anyway, I've also heard a handy tip for making babies sleep, white noise can be numbing to the brain (just look at all the people falling asleep on long car rides) and for some people, starting a vaccum cleaner in a baby's room have made them go to sleep faster. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but the noise can't be worse than a crying baby at any rate.

Those are two very different principles though! White noise works because white noise cancels out other frequencies, and thus generates a quieter environment that makes it easier to sleep. The monotonous rumble of a car ride (which is not white noise), however, makes you sleep simply because of its monotony, the same reason that podcasts with very "flat" narrators help me take a nap: it's relaxing. The end result might be the same (baby sleep good), but the reasons why they both work are quite different. This is why playing white noise in a quiet room would probably not help you sleep (it only works when there are other sounds to cancel out), but playing a droning rumble such as a Lustmord album would :)

cat

Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 10/12/2019 23:28:39
That's true, though I'd add the caveat that small kids, having much more sensitive tastebuds, don't like bitter foods in general. I can name dozens of things I didn't like as a kid that I've started to eat when I got older, so if they consistently dislike something specific I think it can be ok to wait a few years and see if they'll appreciate it more as their taste change.
That's not necessarily true for all kids. My kid (2 years old) loves broccoli, old brie cheese, umeboshi, miso and natto (fermented soy beans, which most Europeans find disgusting). For her, texture matters much more than taste. She doesn't like anything that resembles leaves or lettuce.

milkanannan

Quote from: Laura Hunt on Wed 11/12/2019 08:15:40
Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 10/12/2019 23:28:39
Anyway, I've also heard a handy tip for making babies sleep, white noise can be numbing to the brain (just look at all the people falling asleep on long car rides) and for some people, starting a vaccum cleaner in a baby's room have made them go to sleep faster. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but the noise can't be worse than a crying baby at any rate.

Those are two very different principles though! White noise works because white noise cancels out other frequencies, and thus generates a quieter environment that makes it easier to sleep. The monotonous rumble of a car ride (which is not white noise), however, makes you sleep simply because of its monotony, the same reason that podcasts with very "flat" narrators help me take a nap: it's relaxing. The end result might be the same (baby sleep good), but the reasons why they both work are quite different. This is why playing white noise in a quiet room would probably not help you sleep (it only works when there are other sounds to cancel out), but playing a droning rumble such as a Lustmord album would :)

Where do you find these guys? (laugh) This is brilliant!


Laura Hunt

#32
Quote from: man n fist on Wed 11/12/2019 15:10:49

Where do you find these guys? (laugh) This is brilliant!


I stared off with metal, went "no, I want something darker", moved to goth, still not dark enough, ended up here :-D

Let's not derail the thread though :)

Snake

Stu, just don't forget him on the top of your car, drop, step-on or mail/flush by accident and you'll be fine ;)

Congrats, btw. Being a parent is fun. My daughter is 12. Unfortunately she looks like me, but she is quite the little comedian heh

I can't remember the context but the other day I said to one of the kids I work with, "Kids: you try SO HARD to turn them in to YOU, but it eventually just bites you in the ass!"
Grim: "You're making me want to quit smoking... stop it!;)"
miguel: "I second Grim, stop this nonsense! I love my cigarettes!"

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