A.I. Dungeon

[CaptainD]

This is amazing!

My first attempt was short but successful! 

Spoiler

You are Oddjob, a peasant living in a small village in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork and nothing else. You dream of getting out of your village and having an adventure. You go to your fields and begin working. You look up and see a group of Orc raiders riding over the hill. You hide in your farmhouse and arm yourself with your pitchfork. The orcs raid the village and set it alight.

> You attempt to scare orc raiders off by waving your pitchfork at them while singing about elves.
One of the Orcs knocks you unconscious with a hoe.

> You regain consciousness.
You are Oddjob, a peasant living in a small village in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork and nothing else. You dream of getting out of your village and having an adventure.

> You search for survivors and loot.
You look around the burning village. Corpses of humans, elves and orcs lie scattered around the village square. In the middle of the carnage lies an Orc with a bloody pitchfork in his chest.

> You examine orc for loot.
You loot the orc of all his valuable possessions.
"Hey Oddjob, I see you've found my stash!" The orc says.

> You congratulate orc on a fine stash and become best friends forever with the orc.
You become best friends with the orc, who is actually called Gruzub. After living in the village for a few weeks, Gruzub suddenly goes missing. You never see him again.

> You mourn for gruzub then leave village.
You leave the village and become a wandering mercenary. One day you are offered a place in a gladiator school in the city-state of Proktah, you accept.

> You become rich and famous gladiator.
You win fight after fight, gaining fame and fortune. After years of fighting you win the title of Master Gladiator and become a hero and national treasure.

[close]

I feel bad about my village though, and Gruzub.  He was the best friend I ever had!

[Retro Wolf]

It would be interesting to see if you could use this technology to generate quests and NPC dialogue for an Elder Scrolls type game. Combine it with text to speech too.

[Kastchey]

I'll just quote this bit from mine:

Spoiler

> You blow up the city.
You blow up the city. Buildings collapse on themselves. Fire rips through the streets. Sirens blare in the distance. Cars have been destroyed, leaving flames to run rampant. Debris is strewn everywhere. Bodies lay on the road. You stand in the middle of it all.
Allison stands next to you.
"This is just like the TV said it would be."
You stare at Allison.
"Where are the zombies?"
Allison stares at you.

[close]

[Snarky]

> You "What did you do today, Father?"
"Oh, I did some work in the fields, and then I found some strange metal object. It looks very valuable."
Your father shows you a metal disk that is in the shape of a ring.

> You "Oh, that's wonderful, Father. Best of luck with all that."

> You blow up the city.
You blow up the city. Buildings collapse on themselves. Fire rips through the streets. Sirens blare in the distance. Cars have been destroyed, leaving flames to run rampant. Debris is strewn everywhere. Bodies lay on the road. You stand in the middle of it all.
Allison stands next to you.
"This is just like the TV said it would be."

♫ Where Is My DeepMind? ♫

[Kastchey]

But wait, it gets better.

This is how I completed my quest:

Spoiler

> You blow up the world.
You blow up the world. The sky is now black, a fire burning through the atmosphere. You stand on a floating rock, staring at the millions of other rocks. Allison stands next to you.

[close]

The best thing is, I have no idea who Allison was. She would just trail behind my character for no apparent reason.

[Creamy]

You loot the orc of all his valuable possessions.
"Hey Oddjob, I see you've found my stash!" The orc says.

> You congratulate orc on a fine stash and become best friends forever with the orc.
You become best friends with the orc, who is actually called Gruzub.

That's a very accommodating orc

Unfortunately, it doesn't work for me. I type things but never get a reply.

[Mandle]

> You "What did you do today, Father?"
"Oh, I did some work in the fields, and then I found some strange metal object. It looks very valuable."
Your father shows you a metal disk that is in the shape of a ring.

> You "Oh, that's wonderful, Father. Best of luck with all that."

Hehehe, that was the first of many. There were ghosts in the cellar asking for my help and I just told them "I don't care. Go away!", one of my toys, a plastic alien, started talking to me, so I wrapped it up and gave it to my friend because it was her birthday, my mother found an old mysterious diary at the museum and I said "I hope you have fun reading it.". She never mentioned it again.

Then, later in my life when I was 22-years-old and just graduated from college, this way my favorite dodge:

> You "Hello, Lars, are you enjoying the party?"
"Hi," Lars says. "Yeah, I think so. This is a good time, no?"
"Sure is," you say.
You continue to the kitchen and get yourself a drink. You walk back into the living room and find Lars talking to a tall, ghoulish looking man.
"Lars, right?" the man asks. "I'm Dr. Antoli T'tar.

> You "Nope, sorry, Dr. Antoli T'tar, any tall, ghoulish-looking men with exotic and mysterious names are required to leave my party immediately! We are not interested in adventures and just want to have normal lives!"
"A pity," Dr. Antoli T'tar says, but leaves.
You continue to the kitchen and get yourself a drink. You walk back into the living room and find Vera and Jacob deep in conversation.

And he was never seen or heard from again. 

[Stupot]

I tried setting up a mob story and for the second time in a row, the AI Got me running away from an FBI agent.

I present: The Wad

(I edited the arrows a bit to  make it clearer which we’re my bits and which were the AI’s.)


Act I - “The Kid”

Spoiler

>You are Tony. You are a member of a notorious mob family out of Sicily. You are in a room with two other men, Frankie, a young loudmouth, and Andy, your boss.<
“Alright, listen up," Andy says.

> You listen, intently.<
"The head of the Mostro family has been arrested by the FBI. Now, they're going to hold an election, and our man's not in the running. We need to fix this.

> You say "Whaddya want I should do, boss?"<
"That's the spirit, kid. Frankie, show him what we're talking about."
Frankie pulls out a wad of cash and sets it on the table.
"See that man?"
"Yeah,"

> You reach for the wad of cash.<
Frankie slaps your hand. "Don't be a fool, kid. It's marked."
"So?"
"So, you'd turn it in."
"I wouldn't!" you protest.
Frankie and Andy both look at you, then at each other.
"Alright," says Andy, "If you think you can pull it off."
Frankie nods.

> You say "You can trust me, guys. I'm family."<
"Alright, kid. If you're sure."
Frankie nods. "Your funeral."
You take the wad of cash.
Frankie's right. It's marked.

> You put the cash in your holdall. A cheap, slightly bartered, fake-leather, bag. You turn and walk towards the exit.<
You walk out the door, leaving your companions behind.
You walk down the street, carrying your bag of ill-gotten gains. Suddenly, a man in a suit appears.

[close]

Act II - “The Suit”

Spoiler

> You say "Excuse me."<
The man pulls a gun and points it at you. "Stay right there, criminal scum," he says, "The FBI has been looking for you."
You put your hands up.

>Frankie and Andy come out of the restaurant and they are already shooting at the agent. You duck, keeping hold of the bag of money.<
You manage to avoid the bullets, and make a break for it, running down an alleyway.
The man chases you for a bit, before giving up. You manage to get away.

>You seem to be safe. For now. Your mobile phone rings.<

It's your boss.
"Hello?" you say.
"Where are you?"
"I... I'm not sure.

> You say "I'm gonna get out of town for a couple of days, Andy. I’ve still got the cash. Don’t worry, I’m gonna stash it."
"Where are you?"
"I'm not sure."
"Stay put, I'll pick you up."
You see a car pull up. Your boss is in the passenger seat. He beckons to you.

> You think you've been set up. You were always supposed to take the money. Now Andy seems to wanna keep you close. Fuck it. You run.<
You sprint away from the car, down the alleyway. You hear the car door open, and you break into a nearby building. You find yourself in some kind of office. You quickly find a hiding spot.

>It's only then that you realise the money is not just marked. It’s being used to track you in real time. You open a window and throw the bag of money into the river below.<
You can see a bridge and the money is going to land on one of the walkways.
The police are still looking for you. There are sirens outside.

Also, you're hungry.

[close]

Act III - “The Meat”

Spoiler

> You hang tight. No one will find you here. But you gotta get some food in you. So you decide to order a pizza on Uber Eats.<
You call the number. You're starving, so you order the "Meat" pizza, which has pepperoni, spicy salami, and chicken on it.

> You wait in your hiding spot for the pizza delivery.<
Soon enough, there's a knock at the door.
"Pizza!" you hear someone shout.
You peek out of the window and see a car in the parking lot.

> You recognize the voice.<
You open the door. It's not the pizza guy. It's the FBI agent. You shut the door, but it's too late. The agent has seen you. He bursts in and points his gun at you.

The pizza guy comes in behind the agent. He drops the pizza.<
The box hits the floor. You can only see the delivery box. It's not a normal pizza delivery box. There's something hidden inside it. Something that glows...
You look at the agent.

> You say "DUCK!"<
You knock the agent's gun to the side as you duck. The gun fires, hitting the delivery guy in the chest. The guy crumples.
You and the agent struggle for the gun.

> You in the struggle, you kick the pizza box to one side, revealing...<
...a briefcase.
You were hiding a briefcase full of money. The agent and you stop fighting to look at it.
"It's beautiful," you say.
"I want it,"

> You say "You can have the briefcase if you let me go."<
The FBI agent stops fighting you and points his gun at your head.
"Sorry, kid," he says, "but I'm gonna be the one to take down this organization. Goodbye."

> You close your eyes.<
The gun fires. You die

[close]

Epilogue

Spoiler

>On the day of your funeral...<
...in a town in Texas, your briefcase turns up. It's full of cash. The police wonder how it got there and where the owner is. They wonder if you were a criminal or a hero.

[close]

[Mandle]

So that's the prequel that explains how the "glowing" briefcase ended up in the hands of those guys in Pulp Fiction.

[Mandle]

I tried a Rogue scenario but decided to try to find the city's Assassin's Guild instead and make my money that way. My first mission gave me an idea for a way to change my "life" even further...

Spoiler

You are Sly, a rogue living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a long steel dagger and a length of rope. You walk down the city street looking for somewhere to steal from. You look around and see a shop with a wide window display. You walk up to it and look in. You see a large box on the window display. The box has a big lock on it and has "Locked"

> You try to find the Assassin's Guild in this city.
You wander around the city streets and ask a few people, but no one seems to know where the assassin's guild is. You're about to give up when you come across a large group of men surrounding a shop door. You step back and look carefully. It looks like they are protecting the shop. Then you notice the emblem on the wall beside the shop. It shows a black shield with a green book inside a red circle.

> You try to find the Assassin's Guild in this city.
You walk into the shop and begin speaking to the owner. He appears very nervous, but tries to be helpful. "Do you know anything about the guild, sir? I heard they might be setting up here." You ask. The shopkeeper looks around and then replies, "They have asked me some questions about other shops in the city, but I haven't told them anything about this place. They are assassins aren't they?"

> You "Yes, where is their guild?"
"The assassins' guild?" He looks around again, "Um... That's a secret sir, if I told you, I'd have to kill you."

> You "If you don't tell me then I will kill you."
"Oh no sir, I can't let you in here!" He cries.

> You put your dagger up to the man's throat and say "Tell me where the Assassin's Guild is, fool!"
He tells you to wait while he goes and finds one of the assassins. You wait patiently and a few minutes later another man comes in and you are led to a table where you talk about various things.
You learn that the assassins have had their headquarters in this city for years, but they are keeping a low profile for obvious reasons. The owner of the shop doesn't know much about them, but he seems to be worried that they are starting to branch out and ask questions about the other shops in the city.

> You "Where is the Assassin's Guild?!"
"The guild?" He asks, taken aback by your abruptness.
"The assassins' guild. You know, the group of assassins that have been targeting me and my group?

> You "I wish to join the guild and become an Assassin!"
"Oh... Well, I don't know sir, I'm afraid..."
"I have money and information, you can't resist money can you?"
He thinks for a moment and then replies, "Yes, I'm afraid I must resist, the assassins' guild is private..."
"I don't understand, don't the various governments allow such groups?

> You "Tell me where I can find the Assassin's Guild or I will kill you!"
He looks around again and then leads you outside. He stops and points towards a nearby shop. "There's the Assassins Guild, I can't let you in, but you can ask there."
You nod and walk over to the shop.

> You knock on the door of the Assassin's Guild.
You knock on the door and after a few moments it is opened by a short man.
"Can I help you?" He asks.
"I want to join the Assassins Guild.
"Sorry, but we don't let just anyone in.
You consider asking for a recommendation, but you realize that won't work, so you decide to try another approach.
"

> You "I will kill anyone you want and, if I succeed, you will let me join the guild!"
The man looks at you and then opens the door wider to let you in. "Alright, come in, but I don't think you'll be successful."
You enter and the door is firmly shut behind you. "Now, tell me why you want to join the Guild."
"Because I want to kill people!" You reply.

> You "I want to kill people and get paid well for doing so!"
The man looks at you and a small smile appears on his face. "That's what the Guild is there for. Follow me."
You follow the man through several winding corridors and eventually you reach a lift. He keys in a specific floor and the elevator begins to descend.
"Why do you want to join the Guild?"
"Because I want to kill people and get paid well for doing so!" You reply.
The man smiles at this. "Well, we can certainly do that. So, what's your name?"
"Sly. What's yours?"
"I'm Batalimus."
The elevator doors open and you follow Batalimus out of the elevator. "We have many members named Batalimus."
"Great, whatever, so when do I get paid?" You ask.
"We don't pay our members money, we give them jobs. Which would you like?"
"The Culprits of Gloom Inn."
"We need some members there. Excellent choice. Gloom Inn is a very busy Inn, as you know, so it's best if you catch and subdue them all without them getting a chance to turn into vampires or wolves or something."
"How hard is this job?"
"Very. Not only are the Culprits vampires, but they have a large number of demons working for them.

> You "That sounds a bit difficult. How much does the job pay?"
Batalimus thinks for a moment and then looks at you. "How many vampires do you think there are?"
"It's Gloom, so I'm sure it's at least a few.

> You "What's the pay?"
Batalimus nods. "You're right, that does sound much easier than it actually is. The pay is one million gold coins."
One million gold coins? You can't believe it.

> You "I'll take the job!"
Batalimus smiles. "Excellent. Welcome to the Guild, Sly."
You're led into a large room with several other members. They look at you and then Batalimus.

> You "Hello, fellow Assassins! Please tell me where the Gloom Inn is located!"
Batalimus leads you to the elevator. "This will take you to a lower level. From there, just head North and do not turn right before you get to the Gloom Inn, Gloom Tavern is on the left side just before that."

> You "Batalimus, can you give me some gasoline and matches?"
Batalimus looks at you for a moment, as if he's trying to decide if he should trust you or not, but he does. "Sure. That should be fine."
You take out the bottle of gasoline and three matches and put them in your pocket.
"Thank you, that will be all for now."
You nod and exit the Guild.

> You go to the outside of the Gloom Inn and hide in the shadows and watch the Inn for an hour.
You walk North, staying in the darkest shadows you can. You see two figures run out of the Inn and across the street to the Raggedy Man. They speak to him for a moment and then go back into the Inn.
After an hour, you decide to leave.

> You look at the sky to try to judge what time of day it is right now.
You walk outside and see that the moon is about half-way between full and new. This gives you a good idea of what time of day it is.

> You stay hidden outside the Gloom Inn and wait until dawn.
You sit on the steps of the Inn and wait. Dawn comes, but doesn't bring any vampires out. You wait for another hour and still no sign of the vampires.

> You look at the sky to try to judge what time of day it is right now.
It's still dark, but the moon is shining brightly in the sky. This means that it's about midday. You might as well go inside the Inn and get some rest.

> You light the bottle of gasoline with a match and then throw the bomb into the Gloom Inn.
You take a deep breath and then hold the bottle of gasoline tightly. You hold the match above the liquid for a moment and then carefully throw it at the Inn.
The match ignites the liquid, which goes up in a huge fireball. You run to the side to avoid the intense heat, and then see that the entire right side of the Inn is gone.

> You stay outside the Gloom Inn and watch as it continues burning.
You run around to the front of the Inn and peer in the large hole that used to be the Inn's door. You watch as a fire bursts out of the wreckage and spread rapidly.

> You stay hidden outside the Gloom Inn until it has completely burnt to the ground.
You sit on the Inn's burnt out doorstep and wait for dawn. When the sun comes up, you walk inside the Inn to see if anything survived.
The only thing that survived is blackened ash.

> You return to the Assassin's Guild and collect your 1,000,000 gold coin reward for killing all the vampires at the Gloom Inn.
You head to the Guild and tell them that you killed the vampires at the Inn and want your reward. They give you a large bag of gold coins.

> You count the gold coins in the bag.
You count to see how much money you have and find that you have earned 1,000,000 gold coins.
You decide to use the Guild as a bank and store your gold coins there. You can keep the bag as a reminder of your incredible accomplishment.
You also wonder what you should spend your money on, cars, a mansion or a trip around the world?

> You visit the real estate office in the city and ask how much a castle in the mountains costs.
You get a quote of 1,000,000 gold coins. This is more than you have, but you know that you can easily get the money, you just need to refinance your house.

> You ask the real estate office how much a mansion in this city costs.
The real estate office tells you that the mansion you are looking to buy in this city costs 5,000,000 gold coins.

> You ask the real estate office how much a house in this city costs.
The real estate office tells you that the house in this city costs 3,000,000 gold coins.
You think for a moment and realize that you could easily buy either the mansion or the house in this city.

> You ask the real estate office how much a house in this city costs.
The real estate office tells you that the house in this city costs 2,000,000 gold coins.
You decide that it is a lot cheaper to buy a house in this city after all.

> You withdraw your 1,000,000 gold coins from the Assassin Guild's bank and buy the castle in the mountains.
You buy the castle and begin living there. It's a lot bigger than your last home, but you're sure you'll be able to handle it.

> You examine your castle.
The castle is beautiful, made of solid stone with battlements on the walls and a large tower in the center.

> You name your castle "Castle Sly"
You decide to name your castle "Castle Sly", a play on words of your name and your former occupation as a rogue.

> You return to the Gloom Inn and look for clues about where to find more vampires.
You find the door to the cellar and descend down the stairs.
The cellar is dark and full of bottles and crates. You examine one of the crates and find that it contains bottles of wine.
You open up one of the bottles of wine and take a sip. The wine is delicious.
You then hear a creak in the cellar and quickly close the bottle of wine.

> You realize that the wine you just drank is vampire blood.
You realize that the blood in the bottle you drank was actually that of a vampire.
Suddenly, you begin to feel very weak and you fall to the floor.
The sun is setting and the sky is beautiful. You know you only have a few hours to decide what to do with your future.
Do you:
A. Take the night to think about it and return to the Gloom Inn in the morning?
B. Leave the Gloom Inn and make a break for it, hoping that you can find help?
C. Find the cellar stairs and hide there until sunrise?
D. Drink the blood of the nearby nightstalker?
E. Eat some of the human flesh you find in the fridge?
F. Get drunk?
G. Get high?
H. Take a walk outside and smell the flowers?
I. Something else?

> You become a vampire from drinking the vampire blood and return to your castle before sunrise.
You awaken in the Gloom Inn, suddenly feeling very hungry.
You quickly realize that you are now a vampire and your fangs have come out. You begin to think about how wonderful human flesh tastes.

> You stalk the streets of the city by night and look for a victim to drink their blood.
You walk down the street and begin to feel the hunger inside you. You begin to look around for potential victims.
The streets are empty.
Suddenly, you notice a man dressed in a dark blue suit and tie.

> You examine the man.
The man is a vampire.
He is holding a briefcase.
You approach the man, planning to ask him for some of his blood to quench your hunger.
Suddenly, the man begins to run.

> You continue to search the city by night to find a victim to drink their blood.
You begin to think about how hungry you are and how wonderful human flesh tastes.
Suddenly, you notice a woman in a long, dark blue dress. She is walking down the street with a shopping bag.

> You approach the woman and try to use your vampire powers to hypnotize her.
You walk up to the woman and try to hypnotize her with your stare, but she snaps out of your gaze and suddenly turns around and looks at you.
Suddenly, you begin to feel dizzy and weak.

> You try to resist the woman's powers.
You resist the power of the woman's stare and try to hypnotize her, but find that your own powers have weakened.
The woman suddenly turns around and runs down the street.
Suddenly, you hear a gunshot.
You collapse on the ground.
You have been mortally wounded.
Your final moments are of pain and blood loss.

> You try to use your vampire powers to regenerate and heal the bullet wound.
You try to use your vampire powers, but you are still weak from not feeding.
Your wound quickly begins to heal.
Your "life" now flashes before your eyes.

> You try to use your vampire powers to regenerate and continue healing the bullet wound.
You try to use your vampire powers to regenerate and heal the bullet wound.
The gunshot wound regenerates and heals.
Your "life" now flashes before your eyes.

> You try to completely heal the gunshot wound using your vampire powers.
You try to completely heal the gunshot wound, but your powers are not strong enough.
The gunshot wound does not regenerate and you bleed to death.
Your "life" now flashes before your eyes.
The sun rises on the dead body of a vampire.

> You burst into flames as the sunlight hits your dead body.
Your body begins to burn as the flames quickly spread through your body.
You are now a burning pile of ashes.
THE END

[close]

[Fitz]

I finally learned to lean into the absurdity of the situation of writing with/against an AI that is both very creative and super random. What followed is 100% "zero ducks given" story starting off from the basic premise of weirdest dream I had - and it gets weirder, with our mutual effort.

Spoiler

You are a frog made of cigarette smoke. You live at the bottom of the Mariana Trench and you sing funky tunes. You have no friends, but you do have a girlfriend named Mandy who lives in your mouth. One day a man from the United States submariner walks into your trench. He's been to the surface for several minutes and he misses his wife and kids. He tells you his story.
"I need your help, frog," he says. "If you sing that song you can make enough noise to wake the entire world."
You burst into the funkiest tune yet: "Get uppah! Get on up!", you chant. And the whole world rises. Soon all the people on the surface are awake and dancing. The man takes you outside the trench and plants a big kiss on your fuzzy forehead. Then he gets back in his submarine and leaves. The world is safe.
You decide to marry Mandy in the United States.
She prefers Aruba.
Your honeymoon involves scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef. You both find a pink coral crab the size of a dinner plate and you name him Peter.
You decide to adopt Peter.
He has many, many kids.
One day you see a news report about a massive undersea cavern being discovered off the coast of France.
You want to move there but it's become too hot a commodity, way above your paygrade, and so you settle down off Costa Rica.
You don't ever want to leave.
The Carribbean is a place of wonder, with an undersea world of molten glass fish and paper dolphins. They swim around and sing samba.
One day you're snorkeling off the coast of Vieux Fort, a small coastal town in Vieux Fort and you swim into an underwater cavern and swim through a hole in a rock wall and suddenly find yourself
in the inverse space, where solid matter is air and air is solid. You walk around the space, touching the walls and floor. It's so incredible that you have a full-blown anxiety attack. You run out of the space as if you've seen a ghost.
The experience is both haunting and magnetic. You're confused and scared, but oddly fascinated by what you've just seen.
You can't leave that space, and you're stuck in it.
You hear the samba outside still playing.
You push through, and suddenly you yourself are no longer smoke, you're solid matter. You are flesh and bone. You grab a rock and beat your head against the solid wall. You bleed from your head, but it doesn't matter.
This space won't let you leave.
If you can't beat them, join them, as the saying goes. So you decide to stay - and venture deeper into the world of inverse matter.
One day, you see an orangish yellow sun shining on a massive rock in the distance. You can barely make out something else lying on that rock... it looks like a large, pale man.
You fly closer. As you do, you notice that the pale man is missing his left eye. He's wearing a cowboy hat and a black t-shirt with some sort of tribal symbols on it.
He is God.
"I'm here to save the world, like you wanted," you say.
He raises an eyebrow. "You're a pretty one," he says. "You want to be my bride?"
You laugh.
"No. I'm already engaged."
"I've been everywhere, done everything," he says. "It's all so boring now. It's time for me to finally settle down and have some fun again."
"Well, have it your way, God. I'm off. Byeeeee!"
You turn, fly back to your body, and wake up.
Well, that was a silly dream.
You get up from the beach chair you're sitting in and walk back to your house. You grab a cold drink out of the fridge and collapse on the couch to watch some reality TV.
After an hour or two, you fall asleep again, this time for good.
And then, once again, you wake up. This time, though, you're in an entirely different place.
You're lying on a massive bed, surrounded by strangers. A man stands over you.
"Huh?" you say.
"I'm God," he says. "And this is thebedroom."
You stare at him in shock. Then, you grab him and push him off of the bed. You punch him in the nose, and he falls to the floor with a thud. You look around and see that you're in your childhood bedroom, which is filled with props from your childhood.
You grab the biggest baseball bat you can find and run into the hallway. You find God standing there, looking at you.
"Oh, that's right. You don't like to fight," he says.
"Changed my mind", you say, and swat him down.
You punch him in the throat, and he dies. You go to work on the others in your room, who are standing there with shock on their faces. When you're done, you check the doorway to see if God is dead. He's not. He's just unconscious.
You grab him and pick him up by his shirt collar.
You throw him into the sun, which should do the trick. But it doesn't. You're in a time loop, sent back to when the world was still fresh and new. Every so often, God needs to be punched again to reset the world.
You swim backwards against the flow of time - to the beginning of everything, and past that, uprstream, right into the Big Bang. You're not strong enough to stay there, but you see yourself continue to swim back to the present. The other yous are fighting in the past right now, and you have no idea what will happen to them.
The past, and the future split into countless streams, and the present you is flowing in the wake of them all.
Maybe, if you're very, very careful, you can survive long enough to punch God into oblivion again.
This loop has been going on for what feels like an eternity to you.
You are stretched across the whole loop multiple times - but your body doesn't rip and tear. You live through the torture. You fold in on yourself. You continue to hold on, with all your might.
With all your being, you punch.
You find yourself in the present once more. You see God lying on the floor. You sit up and swing again.
God is no more.
This time, you hold on. You survive. After the torture, there is a peace that soothes your mind.
You find yourself outside the house you grew up in. You hear screaming inside. You try the door. It's locked.
Inside the house, you see the others. They are fighting the forces of Hell.
You pick up a gun from the floor.
You fire it and it bends the fabric of time. You reload and shoot again. You watch as demons are shot down. The shotgun fires over and over as you mow down hordes of Hell's army.
You feel a wave of calmness coming over you.
God is dead. Hell is defeated, at least here on Earth.
What's next?
Paradise!
You laugh maniacally. You feel a rush of joy.
This is it. You've done it. You survived. You beat the odds. You're happy.
You've won.
This is the feeling of satisfaction and joy that fills your heart. This is the feeling that's going to keep you alive, that's going to see you through this, that's going to see you victorious over death itself.
You laugh as you pump your shotgun.
"Get uppah! Get on up!" you shout, firing.
The last demons fall to the ground.
You're alive. You've beaten the odds. You survived. You've won.
Now, you can finally be happy.
You laugh as you pump your shotgun, and watch the last of Hell's minions fall to your fire.
You raise your shotgun one last time, and smile.
Then, the world ends.
...and begins all over.
"Come on!" you say.
You walk down the hallway, shotgun tight in your hands.
"Time to die, demon!" you shout.
You hear a scream. When you turn around, you see a group of people. They wear the armor of the Varsakken family, and seem to be working with demons. They must be from the future.
One of them flies forward with a scream.
You fart at him and he turns into glitter.
You walk forward, but more of them appear, along with demons. The battle begins again.
You fart and belch in their general direction and they are instantly obliterated, all of them. You fart again and feel your stomach muscles contract, causing you to vomit. As you continue to vomit, time resumes.
You are dead. You were killed by the temporal terrorists of the 22nd century.
You have died and your adventure is at an end.

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[eri0o]

Fitz story is amazing. :O I hear the samba too.