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Topics - BruisedWeasel

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Hah! Like there's such a thing as a Mexican Jew! As for the wet nurse, let us assume it was raining outside.  :=

Just stopped in for a quick hello and a tasteless 'joke'.

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General Discussion / A /real/ AGS dream
« on: 22 Sep 2004, 04:12 »
For some odd reason, I'm held captive in Non-Descript, Typical Desert Hell-Hole of CNN Media Funtown. I'm bound, blindfolded, and before the camera, which is of course the usual setup of such situations.

I'm told to say something, my blindfold is removed. I stare straight at the camera, and in a defiant voice I say:

"Play Ace Quest."

I started laughing and woke up, still laughing.  I think it's a damn good bit of advertising, and I'm curious as to how Ol' Mulesy pulled it off.

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So, I'm enjoying a bottle o blackberry brandy. ti's well chilled, been aroudn for ages, and tastes quite pleasant, with only a hint of cough syrup flavor. I'm towards the end, and there's fucking white crap in it. Little hard lumps of white crap. Fly eggs? spider puppets? Jesus, I don't like to set down to an evening's pleaseur just to be beheaded by mutant strawberry seeds in the bottom of my booze!

So, I carefully siphon my beer, and lo! a ninch of sediment! Now, this is store-bought beer, mass produced, the expiration is not for another 6 months. Why is threr human skin cell residue at the bottom of by damn bud?

I just wanted a quiet evening of absent-minded consumption. Absent minded consumption. Absent minded and then I discover swill where by booze wonse sat. It's unjust, un-American, and a minor victory tof the terrorists. The last wthing we need is for the terrorists to disrrupt our revelry.

Frankly, I can't find a solution to the problem. Or, none that doesn't involve effort. So, I'v decided to kick the terrorists where it counts, and pour the anti-american booze into the drain. The drain. the drain that is my my throat.

It's ging to be tough, but hey, I'm a tough cookie.

 :=

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General Discussion / Delightfully disturbing dream
« on: 29 Mar 2004, 08:15 »
No, it's not related to ags in any way.

I was getting dressed, and I happen to look down to pull up my pants, when I noticed my belly button had popped out. It's wasn't the normal bellybutton you'd expect, but actually the nasty dark dried-up umbilical cord, with a ribbon tied at the end. I was a bit disturbed by it, so I tucked it into my underwear, hoping my pants and shirt would hide any lumps.

I'm certain this has something to do with my failure to grow up, or my failure to desire to grow up, or some other such thing. I'm a bit disturbed by the ribbon. I wonder what would have happened if I had untied it?

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Competitions & Activities / Sprite Jam Feb 29- March 7
« on: 29 Feb 2004, 04:13 »
You know what? Roger's pretty damned cool. Sure, he's a bit lumpy in the face, and walks like an old man with a lame foot. But who can deny seeing him/herself in his horribly disfigured face?

This week, why don't we send Roger on an around the world trip? He'll pick Tulips in Holland, wrestle pumas in the Americas, drink kangaroo urine in Australia, and sit back and enjoy fermented fox embryo  in Japan.

-Create an original image of Roger in cultural garb, in tourist clothes, or anything else that indicates he's been on holiday or is still holidaying. :)

-There's no size limit. I trust you'll keep it within reason. Likewise, there's no color limit.

-Animation would be darned neat, but won't earn you any extra points. It will earn you a fuzzy lump of something I found in the couch, which is far cooler.

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General Discussion / OVC, your signature....
« on: 25 Feb 2004, 06:42 »
I'm thoroughly disgusted! Granted, I'm known for grossness, but even I have standards. Big floppy breasts, bared for all to see, is a horrible affront to the eyes of any youths on this forum. How would you like a scrawny floppy dick, with a giant vein and little hairs coming off it, bent all crooked-like, waggling under my posts?

I suggest you change your signature, else I shall have to get a little gruffer. :P

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Critics' Lounge / An average guy
« on: 27 Jan 2004, 09:01 »
I was debating whether or not I wanted any c&c on this. I actually don't, but then, input is always a good thing. This little guy is only for practice, hence his bland stiffness. I'll be using him to practice some basic walking/doing stuff animations, ergo I'm not really concerned with shading at the moment.

Actually, what I really want is you to express your admiration for this little man, and for my skill.



Now gush away, please. And to answer the question, this image is based on a sprite template I made, so this style will be used in something.

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General Discussion / *snausages*
« on: 07 Dec 2003, 08:51 »
Why *snausages*? Is it simply some silly spam, meant to annoy the moderators? No. I am an artist, and as Warhol painted can after can of tomato soup, so do I chant the name of *snausages*. Yes, this is my sense of humour. It's minimalistic, consists of one word, and carries with it nearly infinite implications.

Some people show intellect through long posts of parragraph after paragraph, explaining their revalation word for word. I choose instead to present the word and let the reader react. Eric, apparently, is none too imaginative. He chose to delete each post until it's frighteningly complex simplicity overwhelmed him and he locked the final thread. What would others have done? What would you have thought, the instant you saw the word *snausages*? It's pointless now, to ponder this, as the moment is gone. The paint and the passion is dried, and it is shown that original thought is unwelcomed by one mod.

Perhaps more base humour is desired here. Sad, but I guess it's easier to accept the obvious joke.

*penis*

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General Discussion / Birthday spam!!!1
« on: 18 Oct 2003, 14:07 »
:P I figure, I don't post here much anymore, so I have a right to make a spam thread. Happy f*king birthday to me, 24 years of tv, videogames, and really bad pop. Time to crack open the bottle of vintage crystal pepsi and eat that unopened box of Nintedo Cereal System. Ah, nostalgia! Live in the past, and the hurts of the present mean nothing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch Rainbow Bright and the Star Stealer.

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Critics' Lounge / Classroom *updated*
« on: 20 Aug 2003, 23:08 »


original


I fixed the floor, neutralized most of the colors so they look more like background colors and not LOOK-AT-ME-I-ARES-TEH-BRIGHT!!1-colors. I changed the shape of the desk because I liked the curvey against all the straight lines and angles. I started playing with the trash can and ended up turning it into a darling wicker basket. ;) Someone tore off a corner on one of the papers when I wasn't looking. I blame the doll.

I plan to start shading next. Don't worry, something will go in that doorway eventually. I'm a little amused that a classroom door opens into a black hole.

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General Discussion / Waddle to California, babe
« on: 18 Aug 2003, 06:27 »
I'm not sure how to word this. I'm still a little out of it. I thought I had managed to work past my need to kill myself. I've had no need to cut myself, raid the medicine cabinet, scratch myself or attempt any other method of damaging my person for a couple months now. Then I woke in on odd mood today,

I started packing up a small bag- sketchbook, penicles, feminine napkins ;), etc... I felt so odd while doing it, very detached and methodical. And then I planned when I would leave, and what direction I would walk in. And 2 hours ago, I went outside and headed for the highway.

It's nice out tonight, slight breeze, a little more traffic than usual. I was out for about an hour, when suddenly I had a moment of clear thinking: I'm a 350 pound couch potato. I'd die of a heart attack or heatstroke before I got anywhere. What was I going to do? Waddle all the way to California? The only thing I would get from a highway-guided treck is death. Lots of fast semi trucks, lots of opportunity. And death was what I was seeking. And then I was humiliated to realise I chickened out.

I turned around and went home, knocked on the door to be let in because I had left my key in my room. My parents are in bed, and Angie (youngest sis) was at the comp so she let me in. She gave me an odd look when she saw the backpack, and I just went back into my guarded shell and said I had gone for a walk.

I never thought my desire to give up on life would take such a form. I guess I can't bury it and call myself cured. I understand now that I do need to tell my parents about my problems, a realisation I come to during some of my worse bouts of depression. But the minute I walked through the door into the living room, I decided I don't really need to tell them. I can handle it on my own.

I'm embarrassed, frightened  (damn neer tears right now), and not sure where to go at this point.  And typing this, I realise I really need to develope a circle of friends I can talk to instead of this posting on the forum shit. Lord knows internet geeks have all the answers- though that doesn't matter since I'm not asking for advice. meh... I'll just lurk in #ags for a couple more hours and imagine everyone there is naked- unless they're already naked, in which case I'll imagine them fully clothed.

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General Discussion / Saying goodbye is hard to do...
« on: 27 May 2003, 04:19 »
When you've no idea what to say.

I'll let IRC do it:

<Weaseltit> Hmm, I'm having trouble finding the best way to say, "I'm not going to be hanging around the community for a long while, or the net for that matter, which means anything you might have been looking forward to from me will be postponed for an indeffinate lenght of time."
<Grundislav> that sounds good to me
<Weaseltit> On second thought, that seems to sum it up quite nicely
<ShatteredSponge> NOOOO!!!
<ShatteredSponge> Wait a minute... yes.
<Unilin> Yeah, pretty clear
<Grundislav> hey! does that mean no more french comic???
<Weaseltit> Looks that way grund, though I might allow a chance for guest comics which I could put up once a week..
<Grundislav> your humor will be missed
<Weaseltit> I'm sure it will.

No, I'm not leaving permanently. I just need time to think. I guess I've got quite a mess up there in my head, and ignoring it with the aid of the internet is only making it worse. I've worked so hard at disconnecting myself from the world I've succeeded and lost touch with just about everything. After I've managed to sort things out to a point I'm not trying to escape reality with every mouse click I'll start popping in regularly again.

So, right.. Tootles, I guess. See you whenever. Maybe I'll have Default Quest and/or Captain Oblivious and Lefty.

And maybe Phil will have finished LV3.

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General Discussion / Roger and Bluecup Adventures
« on: 13 May 2003, 09:37 »
*sigh* In an attempt to be cool, I have been making poorly drawn webcomics. It started out as a few nonsense strips, then the start of a graphic depiction of the Great AGS/French War, and now..

 Roger and Bluecup Adventures!1!!

I've only got a sampling up, and I plan to play around with it for a bit. Please stop on over and take a gander, mention jokes I can exploit, and check out my archive if you haven't stopped over yet.

Thank you for your support. I need some scotch...

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Critics' Lounge / Teh sexy bluecup
« on: 11 May 2003, 05:40 »
I started this early yesterday morning and just finished it now. I don't like the postition of the character, the hand looks wrong, and her left shin is far too thin. Other than that, any crit?



and because I like to record projects that take a while, here's an animation of the steps I took:

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General Discussion / _THE_ list
« on: 23 Apr 2003, 08:50 »
At the request of a certain person, here is a list (a partial one) of who I'd do.
cute
Las Naranjas - provided I could keep him quiet about the moral implications of condom use.
Andail
Candyman
Gilbert - if I had a biohazard suit
Rodekill
Annie(OTG) _ I've had my eyes on her since I joined. ._.k

not cute
Esper - to shut him up
Snake
TerranRich - every other girl has broken his heart, I figure it's my turn.
Chris Jones - Afterwords I'd provide a list of suggestions to improve his performance.
Grundislav
m0ds - provided the world was about to end.
visy - I can't not do this genius.
RPGCreat0r- I bet he's a demon in the sack.

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Finally released after months of inactivity, this exercise in creating mood (actually, it's just swearing and mindless babbling) features a first person perspective (too lazy to create a main char), unique b&w graphics (Who has time to assemble a color pallette?), and a romantic plot (the love of the dead is eternal).

Made with ags 2.31, uses dos.

http://www.freewebs.com/weaselpro/games.htm

(by the way, it looks crap in low res.)

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I felt bored, and realised I hadn't really used ags since I downloaded it a year ago. So I dinked around for about an hour and a half and puked up this one room wonder.

http://weaselpro.labialand.com/hamster_game.htm


An alternate link, because web1000 is in league with satan:

 http://lan.sevspace.com/troep/bruised/hamster.zip

Thank you N3T.

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