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« on: 09 Jun 2018, 10:32 »
Rather than reveal my vote, I thought it might be nice to offer a bit of feedback on each pitch. I agree with others that these were stronger overall than the last round, with lots of entries that could make games I'd like to play.
Obviously this is just one random person's opinion, and from the votes and posts in the thread it's clear that others respond differently, so don't take the criticism too hard. Also, one of the entries is mine, but I've disguised that by offering feedback on it anyway:
#1:
The premise seems to me like a really strong setup for puzzles. Also, I love the notion of "ghost roads" that are built for ghosts to travel rather than people.
On the negative side, a game where you're just dealing with ghosts one tomb at a time sounds like it could get a bit monotonous and mechanical unless it's a really short game. (Not to mention a little played out, with dozens if not hundreds of haunted house-themed adventure games.) There should be some element that breaks up the structure and lets it "come alive", so to speak.
#2:
This pitch does sound like an epic quest, and the specificity of the historical setting is appealing.
At the same time… ¡Jesús Cristo! That's dark! Starting with the slaughter of the main character's family and then moving on to the European invasion of the Americas, when the vast majority of the native population was wiped out, enslaved or subjected to gruesome atrocities... The upbeat tone of the write-up seems like a really strange fit for the story.
#3
Man, this is an excellent mystery/thriller setup. It could be a Hitchcock movie or an episode of Suspense. The detail of the letters being from after he died is a cool hook.
On the other hand, the pitch gives very little idea of what the game consists of. The write-up is over-long, but still confusing on some points (are they married or not? if he's "away on business", why is his family around?). On the third hand, perhaps making some points in the pitch deliberately confusing works as a way to get people engaged with the story?
#4
Like #3, this is another classic thriller premise. And unlike #3, there's at least some indication of what the gameplay revolves around.
Here's the thing I can't get past, though: Wouldn't it be, like, really, really easy to prove you are the real you and your evil twin the impostor? The predicament sounds more silly than sinister.
#5
This sounds like something that could be a really good game. However, it's a little vague at this point. It could be Buffy, it could be Stranger Things or IT, it could be The Faculty, it could be Goosebumps or AYAOTD or Eerie, Indiana. Or it could be a fairly generic RPG superficially dressed up in a high school skin.
I guess what would really sell me is a clearer sense of how the elements are tied together. Who are these kids when they're not hunting monsters? How do their school lives matter beyond just leveling up and recruiting team members?
#6
The notion of an infinitely replayable adventure is intriguing. However, does it work as a fun game in practice? Dead ends and red herrings, random solutions and puzzles that are just roadblocks and don't in themselves advance the story; these a common criticisms of bad adventure game design, but seem almost inevitable for this concept. I am skeptical…
#7
Fun! Biblical stories seem like they make a great basis for adventure games, and I wonder why there haven't been more of them. Getting down the tower is also a really nice, self-contained adventure game goal. The tone of the pitch suggests a sense of humor I would enjoy.
A couple of nitpicks: I think I would have preferred if the languages were actually real ones. Also, I have to question where the phrase book came from in the first place. (My suggestion: it was dropped by an angel, annoyed at having to deal with all the hassle of now having to bring messages in all kinds of languages.)
#8
I'm a sucker for Christmas stories, so you had my attention right off the bat. The premise is fun and feels season-appropriate in that it sets up some silly, all-in-good-fun antagonism, and offers a solid game structure. The one thing I don't like is the "or doom the world!" bit, which seems entirely extraneous and illogical given what you've described.
#9
Isn't this pretty much a game already? (Apparently the one I'm thinking of is called A Way Out.) Escaping from prison definitely offers a lot of scope for interesting puzzles, and the virtual reality component adds a potentially interesting dimension to that. On the other hand, I guess it's a trope for a reason, but the romantic tension sounds both half-heartedly generic and a bit skeevy to me.
#10
Great description of an interesting mechanic. Is it an adventure game, though? (Andail has edited out the rules for this round from the first post – why, Andail?! – but in the last round it said 'the pitch should fit a very loose description of "adventure game" (this genre is rather broad these days)' and I don't think this falls under even a loose definition.
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I was starting to think it was just such a crappy idea.