"100 Reasons not to trust Akumayo", by M.H.

[Akumayo]

This is an article posted by Madison Hatter on another forum...  most of it is true... sorry:

"The following is a conversation between Akumayo and myself.

NOTE: EVERY thing on this list is TRUE. Even if it sounds completely and utterly ridiculous (like where it says he bites people), it's true (because he really does).

There are approximately 100 reasons total on this list of why not to trust our Administrator, though I may have miscounted.




***Akumayo switches status to “On The Phone” ****

Mad-Hatter says:
On the Phone?

Mad-Hatter says:
Please...

Mad-Hatter says:
Y'know, I was the one being serious.

Mad-Hatter says:
You're the one who made comments as, "Eat my toe?" and "invent time-travel?"

Mad-Hatter says:
"eat my toe" being the one that was most noticeable.

Akumayo says:
I really am

Mad-Hatter says:
Eating your toe?

Akumayo says:
no... the phone

Mad-Hatter says:
Liar.

Akumayo says:
no

Mad-Hatter says:
Yes.

Mad-Hatter says:
Why would I believe you?

Mad-Hatter says:
Why should ANYONE believe you?

Mad-Hatter says:
You tell Min-kyung that I say mean and awful things about her behind her back, when you know good and well I don't.

Mad-Hatter says:
when something bad happens you tell teachers I did it,

Mad-Hatter says:
when I'm nearby you try to hit me with your locker,

Mad-Hatter says:
You say 'I'm a good person' at times when you feel people are skeptical of that opinion,

Mad-Hatter says:
you call the Curlin twins 'it',

Mad-Hatter says:
you lie a lot,

Mad-Hatter says:
you hit people when:
A) it is most convenient for you
B) you're bored
C) they're not paying attention to you
D) it's a Curlin

Mad-Hatter says:
You claim things such as, "A locker is SORT OF a weapon!" at random intervals,

Mad-Hatter says:
you say Mr. Bond is a good teacher, and yet you make absolutely no attempts to stop people from saying bad things about him,

Mad-Hatter says:
you told me you hope I don't get in the ASMSA,

Mad-Hatter says:
when I told you that I might you said you probably weren't going anyway,

Mad-Hatter says:
you call people idiots whenever you feel the need to make yourself look smart,

Mad-Hatter says:
when asked to explain your theories you change the subject once you realize the listener is, in fact, listening,

Mad-Hatter says:
you believe that the death of millions of people is a good thing and a reason to laugh,

Mad-Hatter says:
whenever anything bad happens to another person, not only do you make no attempt to help them, but you point and laugh as well, and if it's convenient, you make it worse for them,

Mad-Hatter says:
you're determined to ruin my social life,

Mad-Hatter says:
you yell things like, "MOVE! YOU ARE HEEDING MY PROGRESS!"

Mad-Hatter says:
you admire Hitler and the Nazis for what they did,

Mad-Hatter says:
you refuse to listen to facts if it disproves your theory (this is most evident in your 'direct democracy' theory)+

Mad-Hatter says:
You interrupt people while they speak, and consider them very rude if they interrupt you,

Mad-Hatter says:
whenever a normal person attempts to engage in a conversation with you, you growl at them,

Mad-Hatter says:
you tell Taylor that he should listen to 'the voices' (all 27 of them)

Mad-Hatter says:
You believe that a higher IQ means that everyone else should bow down before you,

Mad-Hatter says:
you like to annoy people,

Mad-Hatter says:
you like to hurt people,

Mad-Hatter says:
most people don't even consider you a person,

Mad-Hatter says:
you would probably fit in if you lived on a drug corner in Russia,

Mad-Hatter says:
when someone asks "what's so funny" you turn and laugh at them rather than explaining the humor,

Mad-Hatter says:
if someone cries you consider it to be a good day,

Mad-Hatter says:
you announce things such as "I am more powerful than you" at random times,

Mad-Hatter says:
You think it's funny if someone is tortured and beaten,

Mad-Hatter says:
when a kid you knew was supposedly molested, rather than offer him the advice a friend usually does, you laughed at him and said that it wasn't his fault the teacher had a bad childhood,

Mad-Hatter says:
you told that same kid that he now goes to "Bob's School for Girls" with the full expectation of offending him,

Mad-Hatter says:
you locked me outside in the dark when I began hearing hissing noises,

Mad-Hatter says:
you poked me with a pitchfork when I was stuck in a tree,

Mad-Hatter says:
the first thing you suggested we do at the sleepover was have a machete fight,

Mad-Hatter says:
you also threw arrows at people,

Mad-Hatter says:
you said the hatchet was a good weapon, but you'd prefer something that could cause a bit more bleeding,

Mad-Hatter says:
you said "banana" sounds like "a good way to look at things"

Mad-Hatter says:
You're obviously insane,

Mad-Hatter says:
you ask people if they like you at random times,

Mad-Hatter says:
when they answer 'yes' they're also walking away, obviously afraid you may bite them,

Mad-Hatter says:
sometimes you DO bite them,

Mad-Hatter says:
you shout things such as "Why am I surrounded by morons?!" whenever somebody tells you you're wrong,

Mad-Hatter says:
when you took a personality test, it said you were a sociopath,

Mad-Hatter says:
you fit at least 17 of the symptoms listed for schizophrenia,

Mad-Hatter says:
you consider it a good thing if people pay attention to you, even if they're paying attention because you did something bad,

Mad-Hatter says:
you mock the principal and the teachers behind their backs (examples include saying that Mr. Kissire is a monkey, that Mr. Harvey is a pirate/ghost/monkey/parrot/thing, Mrs. Lamb is the humunculus of human morality, etc.)

Mad-Hatter says:
When someone says, "America is a good country." you laugh and say, "you're an idiot"

Mad-Hatter says:
when I asked where my jacket was you said, "Shut up. Min and I are having a discussion about you and it's not good."

Mad-Hatter says:
when I asked again where my jacket was you claimed Adam had stolen it,

Mad-Hatter says:
when I visited you at your house you tried to push me into boiling hot water,

Mad-Hatter says:
you locked me in your cellar once,

Mad-Hatter says:
you were hoping I'd bust my head open while I was down there,

Mad-Hatter says:
when you heard the word "genocide" you said, "Now you're speaking my language!"

Mad-Hatter says:
When asked on whether or not you should help a person you usually answer 'no',

Mad-Hatter says:
you take the time to ponder what to do when you drop the soap in prison because you (and everyone else) believes you do not have the option of simply not breaking the law and thus going to jail,

Mad-Hatter says:
your 'colleagues' are "mostly in my head"

Mad-Hatter says:
I kicked a chair from under Adam and you said you were sad because he didn't get fatally injured,

Mad-Hatter says:
you once declared that all pencils should be kept razor sharp so that they pierce the skin when thrown,

Mad-Hatter says:
you once asked a teacher if you could show me something, and when she answered 'no', you replied, "Fine, I'll show you instead!" with the full knowledge that she was obviously annoyed,

Akumayo says:
Huh?

Akumayo says:
I'm back now.

Mad-Hatter says:
I was naming off reasons why people shouldn't believe you.

Akumayo says:
oh, go on.

Mad-Hatter says:
when I say 'hi' you respond with 'oh, God, not you again....' or sometimes with 'why me? What did I do wrong to deserve this?'

Akumayo says:
Yes.... yes I do.  And then I flee into Mrs. Paredes's room.

Mad-Hatter says:
Which you believe to be lined with the fingers of the pope.

Akumayo says:
Yes.  To prevent satanists like you from entering.

Akumayo says:
Only Godly people like me can enter.

Akumayo says:
I'm a good person.

Mad-Hatter says:
  In the middle of a conversation with a European you typed: 
<--  :  |      It is ze pope!

Mad-Hatter says:
You once announced, "ATTENTION FBLA MEMBERS! IT IS TIME TO RISE ABOVE THE INFLUENCE, TO USE OUR NUMBERS! TO CONQUER MCDONALD'S!!!!!"

Mad-Hatter says:
When people begin singing the CHRISTIAN song, you begin singing the DUMBASS song.

Mad-Hatter says:
When people ask you to raise your feet over the railroad tracks for good luck you firmly plant your feet on the floor instead.

Mad-Hatter says:
when people ask you to speed up you slow down,

Mad-Hatter says:
When people say, "You're going too fast! I can't keep up!" you respond, "Good!" and begin running faster.

Mad-Hatter says:
When you heard someone was slitting their wrists you told them they were an idiot because they were doing it wrong, and then proceeded to show them how to do it properly,

Mad-Hatter says:
You're the only person who can make the phrase, "The future is BRIGHT!" sound like a bad thing,

Mad-Hatter says:
when put on trial for a murder case you said the defendant was guilty. When asked if you had any proof you said "Why? Should I?" when told that you must you said, "Can't we just SAY he did it and then give him the death penalty?"

Mad-Hatter says:
"you are an evil"

Mad-Hatter says:
When Min-kyung's friends ask her what it was like in America, she will most likely respond, "I met two people... Mad-Hatter and Akumayo... DON'T GO THERE!!!!"

Mad-Hatter says:
You constantly ask people if they "have an answer for Harry the Beaver"

Mad-Hatter says:
You enjoy a song which included the words "the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had"

Mad-Hatter says:
You make fun of the Amish.

Mad-Hatter says:
When you stated you were a good person, an entire classroom full of people said, "No you're not!" in unison,

Mad-Hatter says:
When I stated that we should bomb Iraq you said, "Where's the challenge in that?"

Mad-Hatter says:
You refuse to read mine, or anyone else's works of literature because it will "pollute your mind"

Mad-Hatter says:
You entered two stories in a contest. The main character dies at the end of both stories.

Mad-Hatter says:
The conversation was as follows:
Zach: "You guys entered a contest? What did you write about?"
Me: "I wrote about a guy who had split personalities and ends up shooting himself at the end."
you: "I wrote one about a guy who was a stalker and ends up trying to kill the woman he's stalking at the end, and the other story was about a kid who shoots his dad. We're good people, by the way."

Mad-Hatter says:
You have yet to deny ANYTHING on this entire list.

The Mad-Hatter says:
You randomly proclaim things like, "I wish I could set people's hair on fire."

Akumayo says:
And it's "I sometimes wish that I could, ya' know, light people's hair aflame."

The Mad-Hatter says:
You corrected me on something that NO ONE should take pride in. And yet, you do.

The Mad-Hatter says:
You "are making a serious fashion statement. You're like, breaking a fashion law."
Because “wearing long socks and shorts…. Not a good idea.”

The Mad-Hatter says:
When I once asked you, "Do you hear screaming?" you casually replied, "Always.”

The Mad-Hatter says:
When informed of a schoolmate's suicide, you simply said, "Oh well, didn't affect me."

The Mad-Hatter says:
You encourage others to do wrong things.

The Mad-Hatter says:
You were probably in every police line-up in the history of Arkansas.

The Mad-Hatter says:
You once asked a Curlin, "Como esta espana?" and when informed that you'd just asked if they were Spanish, you said "you don't have any idea what you're talking about!" completely ignoring the fact that you yourself have never had a single Spanish class in your life, and the person who corrected you had.

The Mad-Hatter says:
You proclaim, "I'm so humble!", unaware that this statement contradicts itself.

The Mad-Hatter says:
You laugh at the beliefs of others.

The Mad-Hatter says:
When told you were the most arrogant person in the school, you replied, "Thank you."

The Mad-Hatter says:
When informed that my sister was in the hospital, you replied: “Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Errr…. I mean…. “I'm sorry to hear that.”

Akumayo says:
Hahahahahahahaha!!! I remember that!

Akumayo says:
watch this
Akumayo says:
you'll want it on the list
Akumayo says:
ready?
Mad-Hatter says:
Yes.

*********Akumayo's status switches to ‘offline'********"

[Oneway]

And your point is?

[Akumayo]

Just curious as to what anyone thought of his 'report'.

[Nacho]

Just curious as to what anyone thought of his 'report'.

My thought is that anyone talking to him in third person is...

Nevermind... I don' t see the point either... 

[Mad-Hatter]

lmfao



I remember each and every one of those....



The funniest one being the screaming one.



The most painful one, I think, was the one where you tried to push me in boiling water.

I guess they call the town HOT Springs for a reason.....

My thought is that anyone talking to him in third person is...

Nevermind... I don' t see the point either... 

I wasn't talking to him in 3rd person...... That was an MSN Conversation.

[LGM]

I'm really confused.... Is this stuff truly true? If so, I may never speak to you again, Aku

[Akumayo]

Well [lgm], let me tell you a story.

Ahh, nevermind, that'll take too long.

Most of it is true, and most of it is taken out of context, and some of it is in reference to things that happened over 3 years ago.

However, for the most part, it is true...  I will miss your company  :'(

[Oneway]

Just curious as to what anyone thought of his 'report'.

I think both of you have issues. Issues that don't really have a place here.
I also think this is a feeble attempt at getting attention.

[Nacho]

He is talking of him in third person... He posts about him calling himself by his nickname...

"100 reasons to love Farlander" posted by Farlander. Talking in third person or not?

[Akumayo]

It's not really talking in third person, Mad Hatter named the 'report' "100 Reasons Not to Trust Akumayo".  I posted it because I thought it was funny that he would take the time to list off all of these things, and post them online.  It was NOT an attempt at attention, but an attempt at making someone out there laugh.

[Nacho]

Hey, I don't see the point, or the fun... But someone might.  No problem... Well posted!

I am not the correct person for questioning the point of the threads. You just asked for thoughts, and, as I didn't see it funny, my obvious next step was to suppose that you were looking for attention. If you say you weren't, I am not going to call you liar, so, I apology.

[Akumayo]

No need for apoligies Nacho 
The attention thing was brought up by Oneway, and was directed to them.

[Nacho]

So, he is the arse!!! 

Just kidding... 

[EldKatt]

I think the "you had to be there" aspect prevents me from enjoying this. But I can only speak for myself.

You must be a horrible person, though.

[Phemar]

Haha read this a while ago on your forum.

Sounds like some of the people at  my school

[monkey0506]

Aku. You deserve to die. That is all.

[EDIT:]

You are one sick person.




:=LOL! Just kidding. I'm hoping that most of this...wasn't meant in a serious manner when it was still in context. Because out of context it's just screwed up. But some parts of it made me smile.

[Andail]

It would be funnier if it was about CJ or somebody.
Now I just know that someone I didn't know anything about is a horrible person, and likes to bring attention to it.

[Akumayo]

I am not a horrible person, as I pointed out, most (almost all) of it is taken way out of context, in order to make it sound far worse than it was.  And, we've already been over the attention thing.
Most of the 'jokes' are inside ones, and you would indeed have had to be there for them to take full effet, but I'm glad I made someone smile anyhow.

[Andail]

It must be a darn strange context if you can put each and every statement on that list in it and make it reasonable

[Vince Twelve]

Mad-Hatter says:
when a kid you knew was supposedly molested, rather than offer him the advice a friend usually does, you laughed at him and said that it wasn't his fault the teacher had a bad childhood,

Mad-Hatter says:
you told that same kid that he now goes to "Bob's School for Girls" with the full expectation of offending him

I'd actually be interested in hearing about the context for this.  I can't seem to think of a way this could be justified.  Kids being sexually abused is not exactly funny.

I just can't understand why you'd be proud of some of these things.

[vict0r]

"You enjoy a song which included the words "the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" "

If I'm not wrong, thats from a great song called "Mad World" by Gary Jules.



And you sound like me...

[Huw Dawson]

I found it funny. You have to look hard for the humor, but it's there all right.

Also, I can see most of this stuff has been put out of context or disproportionalised.... lay off his case.

- Huw

[Helm]

song by Tears for Fears, covered by Gary Jules for Donny Darko soundtrack. Original more hilarious, but also better.

[SSH]

Mad-Hatter says:
When someone says, "America is a good country." you laugh and say, "you're an idiot"

Your only redeeming feature.

[DoorKnobHandle]

Mad-Hatter says:
you admire Hitler and the Nazis for what they did,

How about the backstore for that one. I hope you have a good one.

[Erenan]

I think Akumayo should go through and make a detailed commentary on each and every point.

Then he should make me some taquitos.

[Helm]

I decided to read the first page of this thread instead of only the second one. Basically Onway sums it up: You seem to have problems, and they don't belong here. I don't think it's anything really drastic, you're just a teenager with teenager issues. Probably.

But yes, let's make something of this. Give us context on some of the more outrageous ones.

[Phemar]

You people are too uptight. I took the whole thing very lightly and actually found it quite funny.

[Erenan]

Okay, I'll loosen up a little. He can make the taquitos first.

[Akumayo]

Mad-Hatter says:
when a kid you knew was supposedly molested, rather than offer him the advice a friend usually does, you laughed at him and said that it wasn't his fault the teacher had a bad childhood,

Mad-Hatter says:
you told that same kid that he now goes to "Bob's School for Girls" with the full expectation of offending him

I'd actually be interested in hearing about the context for this.Ã,  I can't seem to think of a way this could be justified.Ã,  Kids being sexually abused is not exactly funny.

I just can't understand why you'd be proud of some of these things.

Here's a prime example of things WAY out of context, and stretched to their limit (M.H. is a bit of an exagerator)
This is one of the things I considered taking off the list before deciding not to tamper with it, because your right, it isn't funny.

when a kid you knew was supposedly molested, rather than offer him the advice a friend usually does, you laughed at him and said that it wasn't his fault the teacher had a bad childhood,

The kid was one of my friends, and I was offering him advice, and he said something about it being his fault, and I told him that these things usually happen because the offender had a difficult childhood, and that it wasn't my friend's fault.

you told that same kid that he now goes to "Bob's School for Girls" with the full expectation of offending him

This one's just a lie altogether.Ã,  One of the other kids at our school made up "Bob's School for Girls" with full expectation of offending my freind.Ã,  I'm not sure of M.H. misunderstood that or just wants to blame me.

[monkey0506]

Just for the record Mad World is an excellent song. "My favorite band will always be Tears for Fears." - Relient K.

[Akumayo]

I'm glad others enjoy it (Mad World).Ã,  I find it very relaxing...Ã, 

EDIT

oops, I did't see that there were two pages of repliesÃ, 

Huw:Ã,  Thanks
SSH:Ã,  That particular quote is one of the few that's not out of context, but it's how I feel.

dkh:

Quote from: "Illuminare Acqua" Akumayo on Yesterday at 12:02
Mad-Hatter says:
you admire Hitler and the Nazis for what they did,


How about the backstore for that one. I hope you have a good one.

I do.Ã,  I mentioned once that the military tactics of the Nazi regime were some of the best seen in the modern world, and everyone then assumed that I MUST support naziism, which I don't.Ã,  I just admired their military tactics.

Helm:

But yes, let's make something of this. Give us context on some of the more outrageous ones

A capitol idea!Ã,  Maybe later.
Zor: Thanks
Erenan:Ã,  While I like toquitos as much as the next guy, I've got no refried beans laying about... sorry

As I said... I may make commentary on some others, but it's more tempting to be lazy and wait for someone else to bring them up (after all, I don't know which ones are going to sound insane to the people who weren't there...)

-Regards, Akumayo

[MrColossal]

I guess my main question is, so what? So what to all of it?

Someone collected a bunch of stuff you said and put it out of context and you posted it on the forums, what do you hope to achieve by doing this?

[Akumayo]

an attempt at making someone out there laugh

[MrColossal]

Alrighty! I'm good then.