Fortnightly writing competition: 5th - 19th March 2009

[uncle-mum]

For this fortnight's comp I want you to take four fictional characters, from any mediums you want  - for example Ken Masters, Bruce Wayne, Tom Sawyer and Peter Griffin (though they don't have to be that disparate) - and then put them in the same place at the same time.  And then during the course of the story I want you to kill three of them.

There is no word limit but I’m looking for characters to retain their original personality and back-story as much as possible, though you can change their era and location if required.  You get to decide exactly when, where and why these people are together and you can populate the story with as many characters of your own as you like.

The piece can take any form you want, from a murder mystery to a bedtime story, a newspaper article to a police crime scene report, the idea is to just let your imagination run wild and to see in what new ways you can present established and familiar characters.

Voting will start on the 20th for two day.  Enjoy!

[Akatosh]

Finally, my dreams of Hagbard Celine/Horatio Ehrlich/Saphira/Therese Voerman slashfiction* can find expression... 

That said, this could produce some... "interesting" results. 

* Might or might not be the correct term for "amateur erotica meets copyright infringement".

[alex]

Here's my entry.  Presumably it's just ok to post them directly into the thread?  Entry follows:

Grey clouds blanketed the valley as the zippy Zundapp motorbike picked its way gently down the worn dirt track.  Tired and exhausted from the long ride out of middle earth, Gandalf's hands were almost frostbitten.  "Damn it!  I knew I should have purchased some riding gloves at the previous village!  My hands are like fucking ice blocks!" he shouted into the wind with a look of overly adjectived fury.  "Damn Hobbits" he grumbled.  "And damn you God!!!"

"Do not worry about it my brother" said Jesus, jolting gaily alongside in the sidecar.  "I, Jesus, Son of God, shall warm them for you.  It is the least I can do to repay you for setting the groundwork for my father's cultural invasion of Middle Earth."

Jesus's eyes flared a piercing red and laser beams suddenly shot towards Gandalf's hands.

"Fuck! That hurt!" screamed Gandalf.  "By the fires of Mordor I shall cast thee into the pits of..."

A massive lightning bolt suddenly smashed down from the heavens, vaporising the pair into component particles.  A booming chorus of bellicose laughter followed, rending the clouds asunder with their very might.

"From within the torn rift descends a God unseen by mankind for many an age!" shouted a town crier in a distant village as the events unfolded before him on CNN.  "Behold, cast your eyes upon Thor, god of thunder!  He smashes to the ground with a shout, tearing aside the mountains themselves, and slowly, as the dust settles, he rises to his feet."

"I am the God of this world!" Thor shouted defiantly into the wind.  "Let any who oppose me, God or Mortal, come forth now and challenge me to the death!"

"To the death?" said a small voice from below.

"Yes!" Thor bellowed, "To the... hey, who said that!"

Looking down at his feet, Thor could barely see the creature who had spoken.  He squinted against his failing eyesight but still couldn't quite make out the figure who had come forth to question him.

"It is I, Jimmny Cricket."

"Jimmny who?"

"Cricket.  Look...  Don't you know that fighting to the death is a really mean thing to do to someone?  Would you like it if splurk?" said Jimmny, as his head was forced through his intestines by Thor's right big toe.

"Muhahahaha!" laughed Thor, as the story ended.

[uncle-mum]

An enjoyable entry there alex.  And just the tempt anyone else thinking of entering, here's the trophy that's up for grabs

[Wyz]

e arena was dimly lit when four shadows entered. They were walking slowly almost floating; they knew what awaited them, and they where filled with affliction, but they knew they had no choice. Four were to enter this arena, but only one was to leave it… alive. The four were brought here by divine beings for their amusement only, not knowing what to expect. They were brought in en only just told they had to fight, fight till the death.

Before they wandered off into the darkness, they had time to speak with each other briefly. They were a notable bunch and not all of them came from this planet, or even this dimension. They just woke up in the locker room of the arena, with the briefing stuck in their head. They just sat there for a while when a man who sat in one of the corners spoke. He wore a colourful suit with a cape and a huge S on his chest.
“Well I don’t know who brought us here and who you are, but you have to know I usually use my powers only for good. Therefore I refuse to fight.” He spoke.
“Sure, the more easy I will win this fight and get this over with, I gave fans waiting for my autograph.” A muscular guy in camouflage pants said.
“Who are you?”
“They call me Duke Nukem, a name I truly brought on myself. So who are you?”
“Wel, eh, they call me Superman”
“Super ey, well being a coward is not all that super!”
“I’m not a…”

“Quiet you sibling creatures, when I enter the arena just lay down so I can shoot you; that will me this less painful for you when I win, and I will win.” A odd looking creature with sort of dreadlock escaping his head. Although he was speaking a different language, somehow they all could understand him.
“I have been a predator from your race for a long time, and I’m equipped for victory.”

“Could you just all shut up? The gods must have punished me really good this time. I’m not supposed to be here. I am Hercules, I’m the strongest being there is. Why must I fight with these morons, come on Zeus! Bring me back!”

Update: (I just found some more time)
They where spread, each in one corner. Then the signal sounded, and each started they struggle for survival. They of the warriors immediately walked to the centre of the arena to confront each other. The man with the cape stayed somewhere on the sides, but kept his focus on the fighting. Duke took off his glasses and looked at predator very closely.
“Whoosh you are a ugly mother, let me fix up your face.” He was about to point his pistol to the face of the predator, but metallic claws sprung from the hands of the predator and disarmed him in one blow.
“Your puny weapons are not going to hurt me; my weapons on the other hand will hurt you very much” He growled. A turret emerged from his shoulder pads.
Nukem, feeling the heat used his jet pack to fly high to the arena ceiling. A burst of beams followed him and hit one of the jets of his jetpack. It destabilised causing him to fly aimlessly in the air after crashing on the floor.
“Now it is your time” Predator spoke to Hercules.
“Look, I am the strongest man on this planet; don’t waste your energy”
“I am not from this planet, human!” His turret fired fierce at the poor god son, but the shots bounced right of his chest.
“This is useless; get me out of this place!” Hercules shouted facing the ceiling.
Suddenly a loud explosion sounded from where the predator was standing. Well--was standing--as only a heap of ashes remained. When the smoke cleared the smiling face of Duke Nukem showed.
“Looks like my new grenades really put him off” Duke said. He looked around in the arena.
“Say, that super guy has been very quiet.”

Superman realised something all alone. Since he came to this world he noticed his power did not work like they used to. What a cruel thing to do of the divine beings, sending him in combat without his trusted powers. He just waited till the rest of the warriors where done with each other, and maybe he could talk his way out.

“As I told, I rescue lives, I don’t destroy them” He replied.
“Well rescue your own life!” Duke threw a grenade at Superman. A bright flash of light, and also his presence was reduced to charcoal.
“This is too easy!” Duke shouted.
“Well, sandal boy, you’re next”
Hercules had been watching the whole episode, but did take it very seriously.
“Look, mortal, if killing you brings me back, then that is what I will do.” He spoke.
“Ha, I didn’t think so.” Duke threw another grenade. After the smoke cleared Hercules was standing, without a mark.
Hercules kneeled to the floor, put his fingers between the gap of the large heavy stone tiles that made the arena floor and lifted it. He grabbed the large stone with both hands an rose it above his head and let it come down on Duke again. *SQUASH* That was the end of him.

“Well I won the battle, now bring me back Zeus!!” He shouted.
“Yes my son” A voice from above answered.

[uncle-mum]

A two horse race this time and I think my vote is going to go to alex.

[Trihan]

I know I'm too late to enter, but I'm going to post an entry anyway in the spirit of the thing just for shits and giggles.

BREAKING NEWS: RIOT IN THE LAND OF IMAGINATION

Fictional characters young and old were in turmoil last night as Indiana Jones, Optimus Prime, Godzilla and Mr. Spock embarked on what could only be decribed as the bloodiest battle in history.

"It was carnage, utter carnage. Blood and guts flying everywhere, people running around screaming...it was pretty damn neat," said Doctor Octopus, who witnessed the event.

The fatality count is said to be in the tens of thousands, with thousands more missing or injured. A full report will be released when more information is available.

Sonic the Hedgehog, who barely survived a run-in with Super Saiyan legend Goku over copyrights to transformation sequences and golden glowing auras, is in intensive care, currently in critical condition. Doctors say his chances of survival are slim to none. His parents, SEGA, are imploring anyone with game development experience to make a Sonic title that doesn't completely suck, in an attempt to revive the dying hero.

Other notable casualties include Batman, who was crushed by the mighty heel of Godzilla in the fray, and Gandalf the Grey, who fell to his death after a brief struggle with a Balrog.

Thankfully Tragically, every single Power Ranger was killed outright.

One thing's for sure, this day will forever live in infamy, and like all events of any significance throughout history it needs a cool name so that people will remember it, because apparently the event itself wasn't significant enough.

To that end, this day will forever be known as...the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

Oh, and Indiana Jones, Spock and Godzilla died.

------

I got kind of carried away with the premise and forgot to only have four characters, and I also forgot to kill off three of them. I edited it a bit to kind of meet the requirements. I'm not eligible to win anyway, so screw you all!

[uncle-mum]

Cheers for sharing Trihan - witty and geekey-as-ten, just what we like

[uncle-mum]

So it's a win for alex - the crappy trophy and the honor of thinking of the next comp are yours.

[Akatosh]

Looking as he hasn't logged in for two weeks now... maybe someone else should start the next comp?

[Aljoho]

I'm no authority (except within my own big head ) and its not really anything to do with me - but assumedly the runner up (Wyz) should have the honour. (would a mod like to suggest/enforce something?) something similar has probably happened before.

[uncle-mum]

Sorry, this is my bad - I didn't think to check back here.   But yes, I'd go along with Aljoho in saying that (if they want to) Wyz can set the next comp.

Again appy-polly-logies.

[Wyz]

Ok, I think I could whip something up