FortWriting Comp 18 April till 8 May-Choose yer own Adventure -WiNNERS Announced

[Dualnames]

Ah.. I just noticed I have the comp running a long time. I'll cut some days if anyone doesn't mind.

[monkey0506]

Well considering a fortnight is supposed to be only 2 weeks, I'd say you're running it for 30 days too long. You could call it the FloatToInt(Maths.Pi * 14.0, eRoundUp)ly Writing Competition.

[Gilbert]

In fact there is now a rule enforced on the duration of an activity. I don't agree much on it though so I won't do much with it as long as the duration of an activity is reasonably set. But in the case of this contest, I do think it's indeed running for too long, so please think of it and shorten the duration.

[monkey0506]

I just checked and the last 3 fortnightly writing competitions ran for 16, 15, and then 14 days. By this logic the competition should now only be running for 13 days and therefore should've ended yesterday!

P.S. Stupot, I'm waiting.
P.S.S. Dualnames, perhaps indeed.
P.S.S.S. Trihan, not yet...
P.S.S.S.S. PHOAR DAR WEEN!!1

[Stupot]

My inspiration waned ... but I still have a week left to unwane it... might not end up being quite as "special" as I had invisaged.

[Humbolt Steelwheels]

Hmm, I'm still working on my entry... I suppose I'd better speed up my rate of progress.

[Dualnames]

Wrap it up peeps. Don't allow monkey to win by default (which I see will happen at 42%)

[Aljoho]

Working on an entry. when is the actual deadline then - Dualnames should set it in concrete so that there is no confusion. 8th, or are you cutting a few days?

[Dualnames]

Working on an entry. when is the actual deadline then - Dualnames should set it in concrete so that there is no confusion. 8th, or are you cutting a few days?

8th..i cut the days till the 8th.

[Wyz]

Actually, I'm working on one too. I'm always tempted to send in my entries just in time.

[monkey0506]

LIES! LIES! LIES!

No one else is posting anything! No one!! NO ONE!!!



If it weren't for this freakish time-warp making this particular fort-night last for 3 weeks I would've won already! Hehe.

[Dualnames]

LIES! LIES! LIES!

No one else is posting anything! No one!! NO ONE!!!



If it weren't for this freakish time-warp making this particular fort-night last for 3 weeks I would've won already! Hehe.

Well, sorry about that. Stop spamming.

[uncle-mum]

LIES! LIES! LIES!

No one else is posting anything! No one!! NO ONE!!!

I had every intention of entering but everything I wrote was awful! AWFUL! (I couldn't bring myself to use double exclamation marks)

[monkey0506]

Spamming? Who's spamming? I'm posting in an intelligent, funny, and helpful manner.


Wait...what?

On-topic-actually:

I'm actually surprised no one else has posted yet. Apparently it was a trap. I had no intention of winning. None at all. My entry was a pseudo-spoof and admittedly quite lame. Oh well.

Pee-ess. Iz da winrar lawl

[Dualnames]

3 days peeps, either post or the monkey gets it.

[Trihan]

Trust me, I will. It's taking a while.

[Wyz]

I'm almost done. I'll check it one last time tomorrow, and then I will post it.

[Stupot]

Ahh I'm never gonna finish with the reduced deadline... Oh well.  Its not even as good as it seemed in my head anyway.

[Dualnames]

One day or the monkey gets it.

[Trihan]

I promised, and now I deliver!

Zipped HTML version: http://www.mediafire.com/file/2tkzaewnnwo/CYOA.zip

For those of you who are too damn lazy to download stuff, I'll do a spoiler-tag version too.

------
Choose Your Own Choose Your Own Adventure Adventure!
By Trihan

You have decided to create your very own Choose Your Own Adventure title! You can hardly contain your childlike glee as you sit in front of your blank canvas, surely destined to become tomorrow's masterpiece.

Like any masterpiece, it all begins with a name. What to call your intrepid protagonist, you ponder.

To call your protagonist Henry, go to page 2
To call your protagonist Jim, go to page 3
To call your protagonist Zoosmell Pooplord, go to page 4
------
page 2

Spoiler

You have decided to call your protagonist Henry. You realise now, far too late, that this will have very little impact on the tale since Choose Your Own Adventure titles are usually narrated in second person perspective. Oh, the humanity!

Go to page 5

[close]

------
page 3

Spoiler

You have decided to call your protagonist Jim. You realise now, far too late, that this will have very little impact on the tale since Choose Your Own Adventure titles are usually narrated in second person perspective. Oh, the humanity!

Go to page 5

[close]

------
page 4

Spoiler

You seem to be under the mistaken impression that you're playing Homestuck*, a wonderful webcomic-cum-adventure-game by the vastly talented Andrew. No matter though, you realise that Choose Your Own Adventure titles generally narrate in the second person anyway, so the name of your protagonist is irrelevant.

Go to page 5

[close]

------
page 5

Spoiler

Alright, enough dilly-dallying, there is adventure to be made! Your next momentous decision is, of course, setting.

To set your adventure in medieval times, go to page 17
To set your adventure in present day, go to page 8
To set your adventure far in the future, go to page 12

[close]

------
page 6

Spoiler

What could be more modern than a Jingle All the Way style tale of a protagonist who is fighting through throngs of people to find that one elusive toy? You take a moment to marvel at your own ingenuity.

After a while, though, you come to realise to your chagrin that there just isn't a great deal you can do with this premise, and crumple up your paper in disgust.

You call some friends over, hang out, eat some pizza. You're too busy being cool to write.

Sadly, your masterpiece will never reach fruition.

THE END

[close]

------
page 7

Spoiler

Ah, the transporting of dangerous cargo through space. You can do a lot with this.

You decide to offer the player various branching storylines; one that leads to the safe delivery of the cargo; one where it gets out and you find out it's a flesh-eating alien; one where it gets out and you find out it's a flesh-eating person; and one where you are ejected into space and explode.

You find yourself growing excited as each page takes form. You can't wait to show it to your friends and find out what they think of your wonderful adventure!

Finally, it's done! You gather up your hundreds of pages, step outside...

And a gust of wind blows them all over the place. Dammit.

To run after page 192, go to page 907
To run after page 483, go to page 67
To run after page 2, go to page 574
To run after page 90, go to page 567
To run after page 47, go to page 239
To run after page 8, go to page 754
To run after page 275, go to page 900
To run after page 209, go to page 142

(go to page 13)

[close]

------
page 8

Spoiler

The past, the future, they've been done to death. You're going to be a modern adventure writer by writing a modern adventure! Yeah! Stick it to the man! Now to decide what we're going to have our hip, happenin' hero try to accomplish.

To have your hero try to survive a day at school, enduring savage taunts by the local bullies, heaps of difficult homework and an angry dog, go to page 16
To have your hero attempt to find some newfangled fad item in the mall, contending with rival shoppers as they fight tooth and nail to be the first person to own the brand new Wedgiemaster 4000 (with authentic gripping action!) go to page 6
To have your hero attempt to sneak home after a fun-filled night of debauchery and crime, introducing the all-new CYOA joyriding combat system! go to page 10

[close]

------
page 9

Spoiler

So let me get this straight. You've decided to write a CYOA set in medieval times that not only rewards curious players, but provides them with copious amounts of help and sets a goal that can actually be achieved?

Well, christ, you fade out of existence. Those titles just don't exist, man. And I guess now neither do you.

THE END

[close]

------
page 10

Spoiler

You're not even sure what a joyriding combat system would consist of, but by gum you're going to include it anyway! You write a fast-paced, adrenaline-fuelled tale of a teenage runaway off the rails. It's got everything: drugs, alcohol, sex, more sex, more drugs, more sex, sex, some sex, drugs, sex, alcohol, sex, and drugs.

As you write each steamy love scene, expertly crafted from your years of experience wooing the opposite sex (or the same sex. Or multiple people of various sexes. Or hermaphrodites. I'm not going to judge), you come to realise that you're wasting your time with this.

You go on to make a fortune as an adult novel writer instead.

THE END

[close]

------
page 11

Spoiler

It's around this point where you realise that you've been doing all this for a competition and have already put in far more effort than necessary. Screw space, let's play World of Warcraft!

You briefly break the fourth wall to flip Dualnames the bird.

THE END

[close]

------
page 12

Spoiler

Space. The final frontier. Or was it the left ear? Maybe the right? You're not quite sure, but the future's where it's at, baby! Now that we've conquered the vastness of space, what will we do there?

To have your hero lose their adoptive parents and leave to become a powerful magical ninja, stopping briefly along the way to have a love affair with their sister and blow up a giant sphere, go to page 14
To have your hero transport a dangerous cargo of some sort through the vastness of space, contending with evil space pirates, robotic assassins and some kind of huge corporate space-mafia, go to page 7
To have your hero participate in the space battle to end all space battles, piloting the best ship the fleet has to offer, introducing the all-new so-you-thought-we-couldn't-think-of-any-more-useless-systems Space Combat System! go to page 11

[close]

------
page 13

Spoiler

...you didn't honestly think I'd written that many pages, did you? Your whole manuscript drifts away, never to be seen again.

THE END

[close]

------
page 14

Spoiler

You've barely written three words before George Lucas's team of cyber-samurai burst through your bedroom window and impale you upon swords of copyright justice!

THE END

[close]

------
page 15

Spoiler

Ah, the seemingly-impossible suicide mission. Genius! Nobody's ever come up with such an insidious plan. But wait! you think to yourself. I can be even more of a douchebag with this and completely omit a happy ending! Yes! Every single reference will rain bloody death upon the hapless reader as they struggle in vain to win!

You scribble feverishly, becoming slightly aroused by your sheer villainy. And at last, your hard work and sadistic personality pay off as the masterpiece is complete!

Your book is an instant success, garnering worldwide acclaim for the intricacy of its narrative, the believable characterisation and fiendish difficulty.

Then people find out there is no happy ending.

You are subsequently lynched by an angry mob of CYOA fans.

THE END

[close]

------
page 16

Spoiler

Yes, a realistic adventure about a young nerd who suffers through a horrible day at school! You start writing.

After a while, you start to realise that this sounds an awful lot like your life, actually.

You feel every swirlie, you hear every taunt as if it's being made to your very ears. A single tear rolls down your cheek.

You know what must be done.

THE END

[close]

------
page 17

Spoiler

Dragons! Damsels! Magic! Extraneous exclamation marks! What more could you ask for from an epic fantasy adventure? Medieval it is!

Now you need to decide on an epic quest for your intrepid hero to embark on!

To have your hero travel a ridiculous distance alone, with no help from any other living soul, adding arbitrary instant-death references in random places with no warning to the player, on a mission to recover some vitally-important artifact that was stolen after being carelessly left lying around, go to page 18
To have your hero travel a ridiculous distance accompanied by a needlessly annoying sidekick who inexplicably dies halfway through the adventure, adding arbitrary instant-death references in random places with no warning to the player, on a mission to slay some all-powerful force of death that you have no hope in hell of surviving an encounter with, thus prompting you to wonder if the people who sent you on said mission just didn't like you very much, go to page 15
To have your hero travel a slightly less ridiculous distance accompanied by a vast army all of whom are just as likeable and adept in combat as you, with little-to-no random deaths that are always plainly mapped out to the inquisitive player so that
exploration is in fact rewarded, on a mission to slay a disgruntled-looking fluffy bunny, go to page 9

[close]

------
page 18

Spoiler

You think you're onto a winner here! You start writing furiously, stopping only for the occasional bathroom break and to watch the latest episode of Survivor.

As you write, you can't help but feel a strange sense of familiarity with the hero and their quest, but you dismiss the sensation and continue to craft your fine work.

At last, it's finished! You hold your trophy high...and are suddenly lumped with a lawsuit for copyright infringement since you basically just copied Steve Jackson's Sorcery! series. Shame on you!

THE END

[close]

* Homestuck is real and should be read by everyone! Check out Problem Sleuth too: http://www.mspaintadventures.com