King Simulator 2013

[miguel]

Dragon hunting sounds like easy money, too easy. Maybe when we have a dozen heroes or so. Some dwarfs and a hobbit.
Let's stay focused guys! We have no money, poor defense and no trading.

[Ghost]

I disagree with your logic.  The dragon may well have been quite tiny, just very powerful.

Agreed. Still there is a dragon, and my guess is based mostly on basic fantasy fare. Dragon == hoard == money.

I was a bit silly, but I think there IS some potential here. We need money. Trade will not really get us started and as is seems there are many things to take care of (and pay for) before we will have something like an economy. We should warm up to the idea to get money quickly. Taking on a dragon clearly would be a dangerous affair. But maybe there is more? Leprecauns with a pot of gold maybe? A rock in the fields with treasure buried under it that can only be taken by those pure of heart?
We should learn about the FANTASY aspect of the realm and monetize it. And that actually *is* a serious suggestion.

[selmiak]

but be realistic, every big nation is built on debt and our people still don't know us...

> initiate big party for the new king

this can easily be combined with a census btw

[miguel]

Yes, like all those who come to the party must state their name, age, occupation and the likes! Clever move Selmiak! And I'm not joking here.
It's a clever way of doing a census even if not accurate.

>Order Jesterino to announce a party inside the castle where all the townsfolk are invited; Inform Jesterino that guests must state SEX,AGE,OCCUPATION,ADDRESS;

We throw a party and then increase taxes!

[Radiant]

Parties cost money. Dragon hunting requires a group of trained adventurers which cost money. Those are both great ideas in the slightly longer term, but having spent 25% of our yearly budget in the very first day, I think our first priority right now should be making money.

So yeah, let's find that council and ask them for our options.

[Baron]

OK, OK, OK....  Hear me out here.  We throw a royal ball -yeah, that's right -and we invite every eligible maiden to attend.  Girls go CRAZY over this princess stuff, and spend a fortune on wigs, dresses, jewellery, make-up, dieting advice, liposuction, yoga, dance lessons, delousing, dentistry, tanning, perfume, footwear, coaches, nails, manicures, pedicures, and for all I know pap-smears.  THIS COULD BE A HUGE SPUR TO THE DOMESTIC ECONOMY.  But that's not the whole of the scheme.  Neither is asking for the personal details of the attendees (ie a census), although that's a good idea too. 

No, the genius of my scheme is this: charge admission.  Yeah, that's right.  What have we got to flog besides a moth-eaten half-empty map and a fatted-calf?  Nothing but our status as the most eligible bachelor in the kingdom!  So let's cash-in on it!  What self-respecting lady of means would miss the opportunity to be Cinderella?  They're already spending bucketloads of cash to get ready for the actual ball: what's a little more to actually get into it?  And all we're selling is the dream, the faint hope that fate has crossed their stars with ours.  We don't actually have to marry any of them.  In fact, just to be sure we aren't tempted I say we dress the jester up in a dress and spend the whole evening "smitten" with him.  He runs off into the night, shedding a curly-tipped slipper, we're heartbroken and out of luck, and.... that's that.  Thanks for the cash, gals!   

[Ghost]

No, the genius of my scheme is this: charge admission.  Yeah, that's right.

+1. AND we invite the dragon, yes?

In fact, just to be sure we aren't tempted I say we dress the jester up in a dress and spend the whole evening "smitten" with him.

Aaaaand thanks for yet another picture I'll never get out of my head.

[miguel]

Quote from: Baron on Today at 03:17

    No, the genius of my scheme is this: charge admission.  Yeah, that's right.

plus get guests data, even if their only girls:=

+1

[WHAM]

You thank Dennis for his information, and instruct him to stay for a while longer. As he waits, you have the Jester gather the other guildmasters, as well as your military advisor, Sir Lancelot, in the throne room.
The nearest thing to a council you have has gathered at your behest, and you put to them the most important question your realm now needs answers for: "How do we make money?".



Lancelot begins:

"My King, as your military advisor there is fairly little I can suggest. As it stands, I can understand that my men and I are costing the crown rather much, but these men are knights of the realm, and their services are sought elsewhere as well. Should we offer them lesser pay, they might feel insulted and some might leave.

The only solution available to me is to send out more expeditions to chart out the land and to seek quests, artefacts and villains and monster to take and to conquer. Vanquishing bandits is always good for the economy and sometimes we might secure their previous loot for the crown. Alas, with our current manpower, I would be hesitant to lose any more of my men from their guard duties, to ensure there is no unrest in the streets."

Next up is Cat, though you are not sure why she is here again. She looks uncomfortable as she tries to think for a moment, before trying to relax and delivering her response.

"Gosh darn, m'King, the people are working as hard as they can, 'n' their wages ain't that good as to be willing to pay more taxes or nuffin'. The Evil King's taxes were so steep'n that many a farmstead are only now beginnin' to slowly recover, and ah don' think that most folks will have much 'afore th' 'arvest anyways."

You nod, slightly disappointed. Raising taxes for the common folk may well turn some of them against their new king. Next up is Mandarb, of the crafsmen.

"My King" -he speaks in a no-nonsense voice; "the craftsmen are making the most of the resources we currently have, but the local markets are well stocked with goods and I do not think we can count on making any majo breakthroughst any time soon. There is always the possibility that one of the craftsmen will produce an especially fine item, an artefact you see, but these things take time and we can never know for sure until the work is done. If we had some more exotic resources, such as STRANGE STONES or EXOTIC WOODS or perhaps even BONES of some faraway beast, our craftsmen might be inspired to produce even more special wares and artefacts sooner. I'm sure that if we can boost our production quality, the word will spread and Mr Dennis here will find trading partners more easily as well."

Next up is Dennis of the Trader's guild.

"As I see it, My King, we should send out expeditions to re-establish contact with the other nations. Turbanistan to the far south reminds me of valuable trade, but the route there is dangerous and unreliable. I am almost certain there are other nations we could trade with to the west, north and east, but we just need to find them and ensure they are peaceful. Our caravans are not willing to brave the wilderness without a clear goal to aim for, I'm afraid, and sending them out with valuable wares in search for the unknown is immensely dangerous for them and the economy."

Finally, there is Contrued of the Builders.

"As it stands, My King, our realm does not seem valuable to the outside eyes. The Evil King withheld almost all the gold to himself and so the run-down farmesteads outside of town are tilled by ragged peasants, the walls surrounding our town are but a crude wooden palisade and the town itself is but a collection of huts and lodges with a castle in the middle. We need to think about improving the palisade if nothing else, as this is what outsiders see if they pass our lands, and a secure wall is a signal of wealth within. In it's current sorry state the wall may even turn away some merchants. Alas, construction is not free, and I understand this may be a problem as we try and get started."

Sir Lancelot seems to be pondering Construed's words, but finally nods approvingly.

Last but (not?) least is the Jester, your most trusted (and only) advisor.

"Well, My King, it seems there are quite a few ways we could be trying to resolve this little situation.
- Fire Lancelot and his men and replace them with cheaper warriors to save coin (Lancelot looks troubled)
- Improve the peasant's lot in life to improve tax income from the people in the long run
- Construct new walls to attract more traders (construed rubs his hands excitedly)
- Find more valuable resources for the craftsmen to use
- Find more trading partners who might be interested in the crafts and goods we produce
- Send out expeditions, preferrably with a hero in charge, to map out the kingdom, seeking out treasure and quests and collecting rewards."

The Jester pauses and ponders for a moment.

"I'm sure there are more ways to make money too, we just need to find them!"

[Tibatonk]

Okay, seems like we can't really do anything to improve our financial situation drastically in the short term.

So my suggestion would be to hire one more hero (I think Sir Kevin is next in line, maybe he's even cheaper than Lancelot). Then have a look at what kind of quest that Lost Warrior dude has to offer who is also waiting for an audience.

>Grant audience to Sir Kevin of Axemont. Ask our military advisor Sir Lancelot to stay for advice during the audience.

[NightHawk]

>Summon the southern merchant meet with Mandarb and Dennis to discuss any possible trade deals.

[Radiant]

...

[Ryan Timothy B]

edit: Changed my vote

>Grant audience to Sir Kevin of Axemont. Ask our military advisor Sir Lancelot to stay for advice during the audience.

+1

[Radiant]

So based on what our council suggests...

Sir Lancelot suggests that we need expeditions to learn about other countries, quests, artifacts and so forth. Mandarb suggests that we need exotic materials, which would require an expedition as well. Dennis suggests we need expeditions to establish contact with other nations. And finally, we had that dragonslaying idea posted earlier, and for that we'd need an expedition to find the dragon (not to mention sufficient troops to kill it). See the pattern here? We need more troops, and send them on an expedition.

I strongly suggest we Offer an audience to KEVIN to see what she offers and at what price. If we don't like his offer, ask Robina instead. Then Send out an EXPEDITION of the most suitable troops to explore and find something valuable, sending them north or east or west. Then after that, talk to the southern merchant.

Finally, Construed tells us that we need to improve our pallissade, which strikes me as a good idea. I suggest that we Assign a yearly BUDGET of two gold to CONSTRUED, starting right now, for the purpose of improving the pallissade and other city defense works.

>Grant audition to Sir Kevin of Axemont. Ask our military advisor Sir Lancelot to stay for advice during the audition.

+1

[Ghost]

>Grant audition to Sir Kevin of Axemont. Ask our military advisor Sir Lancelot to stay for advice during the audition.

+1

+1

[Baron]

>Grant audition to Sir Kevin of Axemont. Ask our military advisor Sir Lancelot to stay for advice during the audition.

+1

As for the walls/palisades, I'm not sure syphoning off our precious revenue is the right approach.  Stone walls and towers are a long-term investment that will pay-off for future generations.  Since the future gets the benefits, they should also bear the cost.  I say we borrow a vast sum of money and build the walls overnight.  Since we haven't met any bankers I'm going to assume that the kingdom is financially unsophisticated, so we're probably going to have to organize this ourselves.  What we do is sell long-maturity bonds with a guaranteed interest payment of, oh let's say 5%.  This puts the people's savings, which are currently idle and benefiting no one, to work, as well as increasing the amount of money they'd have later on.  And at 5% per annum, it is perfectly affordable for us.  EVERYBODY WINS!  Who's up for a bond drive?

[miguel]

We can't afford another hero. We should "give" more men to Lancelot. I imagine one gold coin would duplicate our army at least. An they would be trained by the very noble Lancelot. With a bigger army we could send Lancelot and Dennis on a exploration mission and still leave the town secure (more or less secure).

> Order Lancelot to gather and train men, he'll have 1 gold for expenses.

[Radiant]

I imagine one gold coin would duplicate our army at least.

Why on earth would a 20% increase in expenses lead to a 100% or more increase in army size?

[selmiak]

Hi, I'm selling these fine leather bonds

[miguel]

I imagine one gold coin would duplicate our army at least.

Why on earth would a 20% increase in expenses lead to a 100% or more increase in army size?

Because Lancelot's men are expensive and of course well trained. We would be training common people, I imagine they should cost less, no?
Am I wrong here?